Titans of War
by General Rage
Summary: Part WWII AU, Part Hitchiker's Guide, the Titans and their enemies take on the respective roles of the Allies and the Axis to showcase the Wonder, and Blunder, weapons of World War II
1. Chapter 1

Titans of War

Wonder/Blunder Weapons of a WWII that Never Was!

We now enter GR's studio with him in his director's chair looking over the script.

"Ah, hello loyal fans who have not abandoned me yet." He states "Alternative History is something that Sci-Fi writers can't stay away from. Whether its the South winning the Civil War or America being invaded by the Ruskies, nothing is more fascinating then what could have been. Today I and the Titans will explore this concept with a story that is one part traditional AU one part Hitchiker's guide to the Galaxy with Tanks. The Titans and their friends and enemies will be playing their respective roles of the Allies and Axis powers. In this story they are all normal regular everyday people, no superpowers whatsoever. What makes this story unique is that we're going to depart from original WWII history and add in the weapons that both sides tried to put into service to help them win the war. Some of these ideas are stupid, others were overly ambitous, some were even close to getting put into service while others arrived too little too late to see action. Now you're probably asking yourselves, how the hell did GR manage to get the Titans to join in on this little experiment? Simple, I guilted them into it, watch."

Scene shifts to Titans standing in front of the screen of their tower with GR's face on it.

Robin: No way, no more stupid fanfics and movies. Last time I ended up looking like an ass.

GR: Please, like thats really something you don't accomplish on your own.

Star: Robin is correct, all movies we have starred in with you have been forced upon us at great risk to ourselves and others. Why should we star in your film this time?

GR: Because I changed... (Titans don't buy that) okay no I haven't, but guys, can I be real with you here?

Raven: Oh boy.

BB: Here comes the sob story.

(Sergeant Pain jumps up in the background and plays thge violin)

GR: All I ever wanted to do was make a film that honoured the brave fighting men who served in, survived and died in the Second World War. Something that would make people say, 'Damn, I don't know how they lived through all that.' And even though this story is completely made up and not at all true the same level of cruelty is there. So people will now say, 'Damn, if this is the war beefed up and gone crazy imagine what the real one must've been like.' Thats what I want, to help people see the cruelty of war and to give them a better understanding of what the soldier went through.

Cy: Man, he's good at this whole guilt trip thing.

GR: All I ask is that you help me make a film that gives people a sense of how lucky they are that none of these events came to pass and that the scary prospect of Nazi Mega Tanks and a Hitler Space Station never came to pass. So what do you say guys? Are you really going to let your dislike of me and my film methods force these unknown stories and the people surrounding them not be heard?

The Titans all look at each other and sigh.

Robin: Alright, you win, we'll make your crappy movie with you.

GR smiles.

GR: Excellent!

(Pains stops playing Violin and walks over to GR who hands him 30 bucks)

GR: Nice job son.

Pain: No prob, I'm off to get comic books.

BB: So how does this story work?

GR: Simple, I start off each chapter with a little sketch about the development of the weapons, what they were to be used for and how the Allies or Axis powers developed them while you do some sketch comedy surrouding the whole event, like the world's funniest joke in Monty Python. Then we switch to the real story about you guys and your starring rolls facing off against or standing with these wonder/blunder weapons. Comedy, action and some nice bits of education delivered.

Robin: I have a bad feeling about this.

GR: Don't worry bird brain, this time you're given a decent role.

BB: Well it sounds interesting enough.

Raven: Hopefully this entire thing will make sense when we get into it.

GR: Well then lets' start shall we?


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1: Uber Tanks with Small Names

For some reason Nazi Germany, after naming its other tanks, Elephant, Panther and Tiger, decided to make another tank and name it after something small. The problem was it was the biggest friggin tank ever weighing in at 188 metric tons and it was named after a mouse! Perhaps the Germans had a thing for irony.

(Control Freak and Gizmo sit in the corner wearing Nazi Uniforms)

Control Freak: Say I got a funny idea.

Gizmo: What?

Control Freak: Let's make a huge f'ing tank that weighs so much a bridge would crumble beneath it and it drawfs the Panther tank completely!

Gizmo: Why?

Control Freak: Cause it would be awesome!

Gizmo: So what do we call it?

Control Freak: The Maus.

Gizmo: Maus? That means mouse! Why the hell would we name a super heavy tank after a small rodent?

Control Freak: Cause its funny.

Gizmo: You just want to see if they'll let you get away with that piece of irony huh?

Control Freak: That and I've had way too much beer.

The "Maus" Super Heavy Tank was designed to be the biggest tank of the war and at least one of these machines was almost completed before it was scuttled, but more on that later. For now lets look at how the Germans thought this oddly named tank up in the first place.

It all started out with German Manufacturer Krupp in 1941. It was at the time believed that Russia's KV series of tanks was the first phase of a new super-heavy weapons line of tanks. Of course unlike Hitler, Stalin wasn't a crazy fantasizing nutcase with a brain more irrational then the average Creationist. He was rational dictator with a big ego and few morals, and like any slightly sane person he and his fellow Russian Generals knew one thing.

Red Star: A super heavy tank? Pft, haven't you seen the one million future documentaries that they're gonna write about this war? The T-34 keeps getting called the best tank of the war, why the hell would we need a super heavy tank when we got that awesomeness behind us!

In other words, The Third Reich kept putting its resources into bigger and bigger tanks and left cheaper more practical tanks out of major combat. The Maus itself was so big that it may have ended the war more quicker by bankrupting Germany if it was put into production. But for the emphasis of this story let's say Germany has an unlimited supply of cash.

(Control Freak opens up the safe in the Reichstag to find millions of gold bars.)

Control Freak: Wohoo! We're in the money people! Gold Bullion by the motherload! Wohoo!

Actually, its basically chocolate bars wrapped in gold to look like Gold bars.

Control Freak: Damn it!

Based on the belief of coming Russian super tanks, Hitler gave the order to make a tank that would succeed the Tiger, which was only just entering preproduction so you can see how much logic Hitler had. The tank originally started out as a practical 90 ton light tank with a 105 or 150mm gun with a top speed of 44 mph. Hitler approved the design but asked Krupp to make it bigger. To explain how stupid this request was let's dumb down the scenario to this sketch.

(Control Freak sits in a fast food window and speaks into a microphone)

Control Freak: Welcome to Krupp's drive-thru, may I take your order.

Intercom: Yes, hello, I would like a tank that can replace a heavy tank thats only entering preproduction now and I would like it to have a really big gun and lots of armour.

Control Freak: We have a 90 ton tank that's pretty feasible we call it the Lion.

Intercom: Can you Supersize that for me?

Control Freak: Uh, how much?

Intercom: Just add 98 more tons and give it a bigger gun and more armour.

Control Freak: I don't know if we can cover that kind of-

Intercom: Do it or I'll have you murdered in your sleep.

With that bit of persuasion Krupp went right to work on scrapping the Lion and making the design for the tank even bigger, with a bigger gun, bigger engine, bigger treads and more armour then ever before. Hitler was either over-compensating for something or he was just insane, probably both. The new Heavy lion has 100mm thick armour plating, Hitler asked for it to be amped up to 140mm, over an inch of steel. Then he asked for the tank to switch its 105 mm gun to a permanent implacement of a 150mm gun. And then he asked for the designers to get its speed up to 30mph when it could only reach 23!

Control Freak: What's does he want next? Make an anti-matter shield and putt rocket pods on the sides? Hell, while I'm at it why don't I just invent anti-gravity hover capibilities as well! God, why did I get drunk and suggest this stupid idea again?

Gizmo: Quiet, SS guards are on the railings, just do your work and don't ask questions, otherwise we buy the farm.

Control Freak: This tank can't take this much pressure for the love of god! (Bullet whizzes by head) Then again...

Eventually Krupp had to let their design team go and let Ferdinand Porsche join the project in March 1942. Being Hitler's favourite designer he eventually got Hitler to agree on a 120-ton range tank with a gun that was 128 KWK and KWK 175mm that were to be postioned beside one another until the 150mm armanent could be better produced. Krupp would now instead build the finished tank design. A wooden mock up was presented to Hitler in May 1943 with its name changed to the "Maus", it now weighed a bridge breaking 188 pounds! Hitler ordered for it to be put into production and that 150 of them be produced.

Control Freak: 150! The hell!

Gizmo: Theres not enough steel in Germany to make 150 of these mammoths!

Control Freak: Why the hell did we have to get hired by a friggin nutcase? Seriously, we're f'ed!

(Bullet whizzes by them)

Gizmo: Jesus they're everywhere.

Control Freak: Poor aim though.

Hitler loved big tanks, its no lie. And so the first prototype entered the testing phase in December 1943 as a turretless chassis. The top speed for the full built tank would now be about 13 kph and even the prototype was vastly underpowered already. Yeah, so much for the Blitzkrieg with that kind of horsepower. By this time Hitler had rescinded his production order, one of his few smart moves. Further testing was done despite the project's cancellation. Four hulls were reportedly nearly completed and then crapped, by 1944 in September a second prototype was completed with a partially finished turret and a dummy arnamnet. By this time of course D-Day had happened and this piece of Hitler's tank fetish had worn out its need.

Control Freak: Next time I come up with a stupid idea while I'm drunk, slap me!

Gizmo: I punched you when you mentioned it, then you smashed a beer bottle over my head and sent in your design idea to Uncle Adolf before I got up. It was drawn on a napkin.

Control Freak: Man was I ever wasted.

And then came the Tank's reckoning. The facilty where the prototype was being kept was overrun by advancing Societ troops and the prototype was scuttled to avoid falling into enemy hands. Some reports however say that the tank was destroyed in battle when it engaged the attackers of the facilty. The version 1 prototype was however recovered as well as the third completed hull. The tank now lies in a Russian Museum with the repaired version 2 turret on top of it. Its there so every Russian can mock at how far Hitler's love of big tanks went.

(Red Star and Russian Soldier crowd around destroyed prototype Maus tank)

Red Star: Man, can you believe that Fritz actually thought this was a good idea?

Russian 1: Yeah, what a bunch of morons!

Russian 2: Let's make the biggest tank ever because we can, one that can crush bridges just by driving on them and is so slow it can be out run by any other vehicle on the battlefield! HA!

Red Star: Seriously, whoever thought this up was probably drunk. Hell they even gave it a name of a small rodent and its huge f'ing tank! Man, say what you will about the Germans, but they have a good sense of irony.

(Meanwhile miles away)

Control Freak: I'm never drinking again.

(Two hours later)

Control Freak: (Sipping back beer) I got another idea, how about we make a tank so tiny that it can only fit one person in there, we can call it... the whale!

(Gizmo punches him and he gets back up)

Control Freak: Thanks.

Gizmo: Don't mention it.

So what would have happened if this tank got into service for real? Well for starters it would have been hell just to get that thing out of the plant.

(Villians surround newly finished Maus Tank as it rolls off the production line)

Control Freak: Hazzah! We have done it! My drunken fantasy has come true!

Nazi Scientists: WOHOO! YAY! YEAH!

(Maus tank crashes through the back of the factory leaving a big hole where the garage door once was. The spectators watch in awe as it drives off slowly into the distance)

Gizmo: Perhaps we should have taken the size of the door into account before we moved the production here.

Control Freak: Indeed, minor setback.

Oh but the setback for this tank would have scarcely begun. At only 13 kph even the slow Tiger Tank would have outrun it. Hell regular soldiers probably could have outrun it, even with all the combat gear slowing them down. The German warplan largely relied on quick fast paced assualts conducted by all available resources, Hitler's obsession with big tanks seemed to bog down these assperations. The Maus would have turned the Blitzkrieg into a Snailkrieg.

(Mammoth leads a battalion of Maus Tanks up a hill)

Mammoth: Time to engage the allies men, full steam ahead!

Crew member: Sir we are at full steam.

Mammoth: What?

Crew member: We can't go any faster.

Mammoth: But our men have already engaged the Sherman tanks!

(German Soldier on frontlines, Johnny Rancid and Private Hive being one of them)

Private Hive: Where are our tanks? (Explosion goes off nearby)

Johnny: Back down there.

(Johnny points to several miles down the hill side to the slow moving Maus Tanks.)

Johnny: They should be here in about an hour or so.

Private Hive: Good, maybe their crews can dig me a nice grave for my corpse by then!

The Tank was not at all a pushover, its heavy gun and thick armour would've been more then enough to deter Allied Shermans and Russian T-34s. But it was thinner on the sides of the tank and its deck. Making it vulnerable to airplane attack and being the slow moving beast it was, it would never have been able to outmanuever Allied and Russian tanks, as well as strikes from aircraft.

(Cyborg's tank comes up behind a Maus Tank and Mammoth sees them)

Mammoth: Holy crap they're behind us! Turn us around! Turn us around!

(The Turret and the tank slowly turn in the direction of Cyborg's tank, while Cyborg waits for them to strike)

Cyborg: Man that turret is slow, fire!

(Tank shell hits square on the back of the Maus)

Mammoth: Hurry up and turn us!

Crew Member: Don't worry sir, just two more minutes and we can engage them.

A Maus Tank trying to get to a battlefield is an even more sorted affair. In over 8-meters of water its engine would flood, most European rivers were deeper then 8-meters. It was so heavy at 188 pounds it would have crushed bridges under its weight. But even with these disadvantages the tank was still something to behold. As such a huge vehicle it no doubt would have struck fear in Allied and Russian tank men alike, that fear would have faded however after they found they could outrun and out manuveur these ironically named monsters.

Cyborg: Why do they call it a Maus? That means mouse! Seriously, a mega huge tank and they name it after a mouse! You can't make up this s--t.

Robin: Hell, a real mouse is probably faster then that thing.

Cyborg: Even Garth was able to take one out, and he pretty much sucks at everything.

Aqualad: That is not true... well okay... yeah... it is true.

Robin: How'd you take it out?

Aqualad: I tripped on a rock and one of the sticky bombs I was carrying latched onto the back when it fumbled out of me hand. Since it handn't gotten far I was able to light the match and run away from it. When I looked back the tank had barely moved from its spot before it blew up.

Cyborg: Wow, that is completely sad.

Robin: If this tank can be blown up by Garth, anyone can do it.

A Bazooka team would only need a few hits to properly disable the tank before Shermans would finish the job. Airstrikes would probably do a better job, since the tank was so big no one would be able to miss it. This strategy would be more prevelent in Russia where sturmovik fighter/bombers were already proving to cost the Germans many of their tanks. And like all tanks the rear armour was most vulnerable so T-34 squadrons would have made a dash for that weak area once they got the chance. Satchel and Demolition charges planted by careful infantry men could also stop the tank dead in the water. So the Maus was far from an invincible super tank Hitler wanted.

Mammoth: This thing sucks. (Kicks Maus tank) However, I think there is one way we can use this tank against the allies effectively.

(Maus Tank is rolled up onto an important bridge and the everyone runs away as the the structure collapses beneath the tank while Allied soldiers look on confused)

Mammoth: Ha Ha! Now you'll never get into Germany now! Never! Victory is ours! The future is ours! Ha Ha! (Runs off)

Cyborg: (Confused) Did they just use a tank to demolish a bridge by moving the thing onto it?

Robin: Yep.

Cyborg: They're weird.

Robin: Yep.

Despite the Maus' drawbacks, it is no doubt that if ever deployed en masse it would have left the Allies at a distinct disadvantage especially if its preplanned 1943 production was ever completed. The few Maus tanks that would get off the assembly line would have been shipped to the Russian front first and many T-34 crews would have died as a result of the superheavy tank's involvement. Eventually they would have sent in Sturmoviks to hunt down and destroy the Maus tanks and its doubtful that they would've had much trouble finding and destroying them, the Maus being so big and the Germans without any control of the skies whatsoever at this point. If encountered in Normandy a year later infantry and tanks alike would've fallen pray to its massive firepower before it was taken down. Stronger Allied Tanks like the Heavy American Pershing heavy tank would've been able to take it out if their commanders were bold enough. In the close fighting of the hedgerows some infantry men might've gotten close enough to plant a charge or throw down a grenade, but not before costing many Allied lives in the process. Make no mistake, as ridiculous, impractical and unnecessary as this weapon was, the Maus tank still had a pretty big gun.

--------------------------------------

Europe, 1945, along the border of Germany and Belgium...

Commander Victor Stone looks out the hatch of his tank, surveying the terrain ahead. Now that the Germans were on the run the Allies were finally pushing into Germany to end the war once and for all. But Victor knew that they wouldn't give up without a fight, they were fighting the Germans on their home turf now, so he didn't believe that this would be at all easy. As they crossed the Belgium border into Germany he told his men to keep themselves at the ready for the coming attack he believed lay just around the corner. Sure enough he spotted something in the distance, something coming at them very slowly. The objects were so big, even from here, he didn't even bother to question what they were.

"Maus Tanks!" He shouted down to the crew "Straight ahead, get ready for evassive manuveurs on my mark. Remember, they're a bunch of slow overgrown giants. Keep cool and we'll get through this."

It was no secret though that everyone, even Victor was intimidated by the Maus' size. They drawfed the Sherman tanks considerably and although slow and meandering they still had a big gun that could take most of them out with one shot. But Commander Stone had a plan, it was a strategy he employed whenever his men went up against Maus tanks. The Maus were so slow they could only focus on one tank at a time leaving them wide open for an attack from behind. That meant one Sherman or two had to get a Maus' attention, usually by firing a round straight at its thick front armour plating, forcing the behemoth machine to engage them. Meanwhile two more Shermans would get behind the Maus and blast its weak rear armour until it was out of commission. The plan was risky though, especially to those playing the bait and Stone was usually playing the bait. Not wanting to force his men to do something he wouldn't, Victor was always the first to engage the Maus tanks and force them to follow the bait Shermans. So far though the plan, which Vic dubbed 'The Maus Trap' had worked pretty well in the past and Stone was hoping it stayed that way.

There were about ten or so Maus Tanks coming up fast on them, as fast as the tanks could go that is. Vic's tank fired a shell at the lead Maus tank.

"Come and get us Kraut!" Victor dared it

The Maus took the bait and followed Victor. It fired off a round at him, but Stone quickly had the driver get them out of the tank's way. Like most German tanks its turret was rather slow turning, so they'd have a few precious seconds to reposition themselves before it reloaded, took aim and fired again. The Maus continued to follow Vic's tank, firing another round at him after a short 30 second wait. Vic's Sherman dodged again, barely. The tank rocked as the explosion just missed the Sherman by a few meters.

"We won't be so lucky next time sir!" The driver called up

"Just keep it busy!" Vic called down. "Fire another round at its side, we can hit from here."

The gunner did as told and fired a shell at the side of the Maus tank. It scored a hit on the treads and effectively stopped the tank dead on the field.

"Yeah thats what I'm talking about!" Vic shouted as he looked at the damage they'd inflicted.

By this time the two shermans had snuck in from behind and were firing rounds at the wounded tank. Just because it could barely move didn't mean the same for its gun. One of the shells finally punctured the armour and the Maus exploded.

"Another one of Hitler's Goliaths scrapped!" Vic shouted "Good one boys, keep it up."

A sherman nearby exploded as well, one of the Maus had got it good. The tank was now in flames and the turret had been compeltely blown off. No one would have survived that kind of hit. Vic knew they had to press on, despite this. Two more Maus were destroyed in the same fashion as Vic's crew had done on the lead. But yet another three Shermans were claimed by german guns before the Mauses were stopped. The big tanks were trying to keep in formation and stop the tanks from circiling around and killing their friends, Vic would need help if he was to save half his men from being killed. As another Maus was put out of commission Vic heard the distinct sound of props overhead. He recognized the engine sound

"P-51s!" He shouted "P-51s overhead!"

The P-51s were on a fly over patrol for the Allied push into Germany, when they saw Vic's battallion and decided to lend a helping hand. The American warplanes swooped down from the sky and launched rockets at the Maus tanks, causing three of them to to explode in blazing infernos. The Maus tanks were now easy prey for the P-51s and with seven out of ten of them destroyed the remainder of the Maus tanks began their retreat. Vic however wasn't ready to let these guys get away to kill his men another day.

"Pursue the bastards back of the ridge!" Vic ordered

Pressing on with their advance the Shermans and fired on the retreating Maus tanks, taking one of them out with ease. A P-51 overhead fired a missile which smashed into another tank's tread. Taken out of action the crew popped their hatched and made a break for it quickly running past their slow moving comrade to the right. In desperation the final Maus tank turned back to fire another round. Taking several Sherman hits before he could get his gun into position. His thick armour kept him alive long enough to fire a shell and destroy one more Sherman tank. Then Vic delivered the killing blow as his tank fired one last round and blew up the top of the now weakened turret.

"Booya!" Victor shouted "We smoked the German bastards! So much for The Reich's Super Tanks! If you ask me, a real mouse is tougher to kill then them."

------------------------------

GR: For introduction not bad, but next time we need to give this thing a bit more of a plot. We're still a story you know. Perhaps we should cover some American secret weapons next time.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for all your reviews, I hope that the next few Allied and Soviet class weapons are just as funny to read about as Germany ones. Also theres a bit of Stalin humour as well, hey what do you expect he was an ass.

Just for Boombaye one, this chapter talks about some airplanes of WWII.

Also TitanFan I do play Call of Duty and it rocks, so yeah I get some inspiration from it.

Kassad, your Panther is in British and American War Museums as well as some Russian ones, to answer your question in the literal sense. It will appear here but thats where you should look for the real thing.

Glad to see you're still with me Acosta, now onto the show!

Edit: Some mistakes were made regarding the speed of the 262, those have been corrected.

* * *

Chapter 3: I Feel the Need, the Need for 1940's Speed!

If you ever want to see a flying car, pray the Military see some kind of possible strategic or tactical use for it. Jet engine technology was one of the only good things to come out of the bloody skies of the second world war, unfortunately it was because a certain Anti-Semetic crazed lunatic pushed for such new technology to be used to destroy American and British lives by making super fast jet aircraft to take down their bombers with ease. This led to the Allied powers wanting their own super fast airplanes. That eventually led to jet powered international flying, which led to cramped seating, lost luggage, airline food, overhead carry-on items falling ontop of you and someone (mostly you) always ending up next to the screaming baby and his mom. (This of course all led to bad airline jokes as well) So Hitler's evil lives on, all because he was a sore loser and wanted to kill more Allied pilots because his Luftwaffe was all but useless at that point. However the introduction of jet engines eventually led to the mile high club, so it wasn't all bad. We'll talk about the German Jet Aircraft program in another chapter, but in this chapter we'll be talking about the Allied response to the now infamous German Jet aircraft, the Me 262! And to help us with this task is Robin, who is playing our pompous cocky Allied Airman in this story.

(Robin appears in a hanger wearing a pilot's uniform)

Robin: I dig this scarf, can I be called Ice man?

No, by the way GIR is your co-star for these sections, he's a Gremlin.

(GIR pops out of the engine fuselage of a P-51)

GIR: I like wrecking stuff!

Robin: Knew there was a catch.

GIR: I found this in the back! (Pulls out a bomb which Robin quickly snatches away)

Robin: Can we keep him away from the dangerous explosives?

Can't make any promises, now onto the story of the Allied Jet Aircraft of WWII. To start this story off though we need to look at their adversary, the Me 262!

(Robin stands in front of a 262)

Robin: Wow, sleek looking thing ain't it? And for a German Airplane it doesn't look like an ugly bastard child.

The 262 was the product of German ingenuity, also Hitler's whinny determination to make a weapon that would tear up the Allies for ruining his plans of world domination. Its sleek and smooth design as well as the two jet powered engines attached to its partially swept back wings helped the aircraft to achieve 541 mph and a rate of climb of 3900 ft. Being the first operational fighter jet of its kind means that every fighter jet since has been based on its specialized design. It was also a very successful aircraft, downing American bombers and fighters alike. Its significant threat was only downplayed by how it was used and when it was used. The 262 entered into service in 1944, when the luftwaffe was in shatters and the D-Day invasions were approaching fast. Instead of using the airccraft to attack the Allies directly, the fighter was ordered by Hitler to be used against Civilian targets in order to demoralize the Allies. Which worked SO well in the Blitz over London, you know with people putting up signs over their blown up shops saying 'Still Open for Bussiness' and 'You should see what our boys did to our German Branch.' Obviously Hitler hadn't grasped that the British people were a lot tougher then he gave them credit for. Also the 262 was expensive for the Germans to produce and the resources to make the more then 1400 aircraft could have been better used to make more economically traditional prop aircraft. Another problem loomed its head soon into production With a short supply of fuel, trained pilots and runways to support the craft fewer then 200 aircraft actuall saw service in the war. So the 262, while a damn fine airplane, was too little too late to win the war.

Robin: But that didn't stop it from taking lives.

Indeed, the 262 was effective enough to force the Allies to come up with a solution to the jet fighter that now plagued their bombers and P-51s, even if there were only a few of them. The answer came in some equally innovative designs from both British and American aircraft. The Russians and Japanese had their own jet airplanes, but we can cover those in another chapter.

Robin: We have all day folks.

(GIR chews on a plane wing)

GIR: It tastes like chicken!

(Robin pulls dumb Robot off airplane's wing)

Would you mind not chewing that please GIR, its our first Aircraft.

GIR: But it tastes so good!

Robin: What is it anyway? Looks like a beefed up version of the 262.

It sorta is, what our dumb gremlin friend was chewing was the first operational Allied Fighter Jet, the British Gloster Meteor. Longer and Higher then the 262 but with a smaller wingspan, the Meteor had the same basic design as its German counterpart. It was faster then 262 at 600 mph. It went into service as mainly an answer to the V-1 flying bomb that Hitler was using against London. With something that could actually keep up with the bombs, the Meteor was able to successfully deter the Vegeance weapon with ease until the introduction of the V-2 missile that could not be shot down.

Robin: Not much of a challenge shooting down mindless drones.

(GIR tries chewing on plane again and Robin smacks him away)

Robin: See.

The Meteor eventually saw combat against the Luftwaffe in 1945, conducting recon and ground attack missions, ending the war with 46 downed German aircraft. However its similar design to the 262 sometimes got it into trouble with flak from friendlies.

Robin: Good to know I'm not the only one to mistake the it for the 262. Its a pretty cool plane I say.

GIR: And it tastes like chicken! (Chews on it again)

Robin: Stop eating the Airplane! (Pulls GIR off and throws him away) God, why did I agree to Star keeping him... oh right... sex.

The Meteor was a solid aircraft, even surviving WWII to fly in Korea, but it was not up to par with the 262's speed and its bigger build compacted some of the early problems of jet fighters such as stability. Also it suffered limited combat use in the War due to fear of it getting shot down, so it rarely saw combat against the 262s anyway. However it at least saw combat in WWII unlike its American counterpart, the Lockheed manufactuered P-80 Shooting Star.

(Robin walks up to the Shooting Star)

Robin: Sweet ride! It even looks fast!

GIR: Is it tasty?

Robin: Don't you dare.

GIR: Ohhh.

Robin: What's with the the weird tube things on the end of the wings?

Mostly for balance and structure, because of its straight wing design it was less stable then the Meteor and 26 with their more swept wings. However it was the first jet to have the engine placed into its fuselage, the Meteor and 262 had theirs in tubes on the wings for maintenance concerns. It was delivered to the frontlines in 1944, but a few accidents and crashes with the test pilots led to delays that made it unable to see combat against the Axis powers.

Robin: Sucks, bet it would've given Hitler a run for his money.

It most likely would've done well against the Luftwaffe, even with its straight wing design. It was about as fast as the Meteor but it had a longer range then the 262 at 1200 miles. the 262 only had a range of 652 miles. But the aircraft took a long time to get operational, early tests in the development lead to several crashes and lost prototypes. And there was always that bloody straight wing design! Seriously, why make a jet airplane without swept wings?!? Thats like a rule now a days! Everyone had somewhat swept wings back then! It wouldn't have required much! God people it isn't that hard!

Robin: This isn't a rant fic.

Sorry, just telling it like it is.The problem with the straight wing design on a jet plane is drag, it was probably one of the reasons the P-80's speed capped at 600 mph in the first place. It would have been able to go faster if it dropped that design, possbily perform better too. With a swept wing, air speed is diminished and the plane is able to climb higher, roll quicker, turn tighter and fly faster. To give it credit though it was responsible for launching the American Air Force into the Jet Age which of course led to the movie 'Top Gun' and famous oneliners said by all Jet junkies.

(Robin sits in Shooting Star's cockpit)

Robin: _Highway to the Danger Zone!_

_Ride into the Danger Zone!_

(GIR pops up in front of him)

GIR: Whats this do? Whats that do? Whats it do? Whas that?!

(GIR presses dozens of buttons mindlessly)

Robin: Stop it you moron!

(Plane comes to life)

Robin: Oh shoot.

(P-80 suddenly takes off and zips out the hanger)

Robin: Holy crap! I'm gonna die! Blood... seeping... into... skull!

Oh quit whinning baby! Look GIR is having fun.

GIR: WHEEEEEEE! IMA GONNA EXPLODE!

Robin: Not... helping!

The P-80 would see no service in the second World War and it would see limited service in Korea when it was decided its straight wing design was severly flawed. It would be replaced by the F-85 Sabre and would fly defense missions for Japan and ground attack missions instead of engaging in jet combat, but really what jet aircraft does these days anyway? As if the Iraqi and Iranian air force actually have anything that can stand up to todays super jets. Seriously, they still have Migs, we got the fricken F-22 Raptor!

Robin: HEY! Still Dying here!

(P-80 lifts off)

Robin: AHHHHHHH!

The P-80 would end its life as a recon plane, taking pictures of ground targets, not at all dignified for a fighter plane. Its cousin the P-33 however is still used as a training craft for young jet fighters today. So if little Robin here can't handle the pressure of the real thing I doubt he can handle the one he's going to fly in our story.

Robin: I... HATE... YOU!

GIR: (Looks out the window at speeding world going by) YAY I'M GONNA BE SICK!

(Gir Barfs on Robin)

Robin: EWWW!

The Shooting Star would've been serving as early as its deliverly date were it not for its unfortunate accidents killing its test pilots on the first day of its arrival at the airbases that recieved them. Back then, when all that really mattered was having a workable aircraft and when prop planes were still being used by the Germans, the plane would've had its fill of combat cleaning up what was left of the Luftwaffe in 1945. It would've been a short service, but at least thats better then being used to take pictures.

Robin: Stop this thing! NOW!

Just pull up on the stick!

(Robin does so and a few terrified moments later he lanmds safely, GIR jumps out and jumps for joy)

GIR: Again! Again! AGAIN!

Robin: (Lies out of cockpit window) Please tell me he's not my co-star in the story.

Relax, he doesn't fit the cocky WWII pilot mold.

Robin: After that expierence niether do I. (Falls out of cockpit)

---------------------------

Allied Airbase, somewhere outside of Paris...

The P-51 squadron landed back at its field, after being up for hours patroling the skies for the Advancing troops into Germany their pilots were beat. Right now they just wanted to get back to their bunks and sleep off the rest of the day. That sentiment was no more true then for Captain Dick Grayson, who had finished off his day destroying some Maus tanks threating an Allied Tank Division. Not at all challenging for a fighter pilot like himself, but with a tank that was 3.63 meters high and 10.09 meters long it was too tempoting a target to pass up. He was almost sorry for the Krauts inside those metal death traps, almost. He was still ticked he hadn't seen any enemy fighters yet, with the Luftwaffe all but gone he was getting very ticked off at no new challenges to test his skill. His sentiments were not shared by his wingman Wally West who always believed that if they blew up something thats all that mattered.

"At least we helped our boys on the ground," Robin said to comfort himself "I should be happy about that."

"Then be happy," Wally argued as they walked into the hanger "cause when you mope around you're never fun to talk to. Just cheer up man, with our boys advancing into the Fatherland this war is almost over. Soon we'll be state side as the conquering heroes of truth, justice and the American way!"

"Do you always need to steal your words of wisdom from Radio shows?" Dick asked

"Yes, where else will I get my material." Wally explained

Dick brought the conversation back to bussiness again.

"Its not that I'm not happy the War is almost over," he explained "its just that with the Krauts putting out all the stops with these Wonder Weapons all over the place it makes me wonder how much victory is gonna cost for us. If we've learned anything from this war its that the Germans won't give up without a fight."

"Only if you're Russian, Americans are the lesser evil to them." Wally reminded "Which is why I still think those Tankers are lucky, German women and booze await them where they're going. But on the bright side, more French chicks and wine for me!"

"Do you ever take things seriously?" Dick asked

"No." Wally quickly responded

"Why'd I bother to ask." Dick said rolling his eyes.

"Say the guys are gonna have a poker game later tonight in the barrack." Wally reminded him "You in or out?"

"In I guess," Dick said with a cheerful response "still need to win back the money you won away from me."

"See, you're already getting that flyboy additude back." Wally said

"I'll be better after a stiff drink and some shut eye." Dick told Wally "Its been a long day."

Just then the intercom sounded.

"Captain Dick Grayson and Lieutenant Wally West, please report to hanger 18."

"Its about to get longer." Wally said "Whjat do you think brass wants?"

"As long as it isn't another patrol I'm fine," Dick said "seriously I need my rest like anyone else."

Dick and Wally showed up at the hangar, inside was Colonel Harman, the base's commanding officer. Next to him was a large drap over an airplane shaped object. Obviously, Harman was going to tell Dick and Wally what they were both soon gonna be flying.

"Glad you two could make it," The colonel said "I do hope we haven't interrupted anything."

"No sir," Dick said "we're just sorry we're running out of Focke-Wulfs to blow up for you."

"Oh don't worry, you'll have plenty more planes to destroy soon enough." Harman said "Recent intelligence has confirm what command has expected for a long time, Uncle Adolf has ordered that the German industrial giant start cranking out 262s like theres no tomorrow and for the Third Reich there isn't."

The news caught Dick's attention, but it came as no surprise. Hitler was ordering one wonder weapon after another to be forced into active service, not taking into account that his country was fringing on bankruptcy because of it. The impending loss of the war in the Allies favour had driven the Dictator completely insane, reports had come in that he was hiding deep within his bunker now, locked away behind a sealed door, waiting for the impending Allied and Russian attack on Berlin. He seemed determined to take Germany down with him, or at least his military. In one of his few addresses to the nation he had declared every super weapon at the German people's disposal would be used to crush the Americans and Russian hordes to make them pay for destroying the Fatherland. Dick knew that would eventually mean the 262s would be arriving as well. He knew the plane's track record with P-51s, it was a deadly aircraft that they couldn't keep up with and that usually meant a death sentence for any pilot.

"So we can only assume that things aren't gonna get easier for any of us huh?" Dick asked the Colonel

"If I thought it was I wouldn't have called you here." Harman explained "We need to combat the 262 threat. Now our P-51s can out turned them, but we need something that can match the speed of those jet fighters. Thats why we've commisioned for some new aircraft to help our boys keep those planes away from our forces. Gentlemen, I give you the P-80 Shooting Star!"

Two hanger engineers pulled the drape off the aircraft, revealing a sleek looking fighter, similar in design to the P-51 but far more advanced an streamlined. There was no propellor and it seemed to have some larger intake valves below the cockpit. The plane certainly looked like it could match a 262.

"Whoa! Now that thing looks built for speed my friend!" Wally shouted "Wally wants!"

Dick shook his head, Wally always loved fast aircraft.

"Well Wally gets," Harman replied "the P-80s' are going to be joining the P-51s to help guard our bombers while they take out whats left of the German military and idustrial might. The British Gloster Meteor are also being pressed into RAF service to cover our men while we head for Berlin."

Harman turned to Dick

"Captain," Harman said "you, Wally, your squadron and two more squadrons will be given P-80's in the coming weeks. Your job will be to cover our bombers and men on the ground while they push into German territory. Expect heavy resitance, the 262 is a hell of an aircraft from what we hear and while you may be able to keep up with them now you're still not as fast. Just stay alive and try and take out as many of those Kraut speed demons as you can."

"I'll try sir." Dick said "just a question though... whats with the weird tube things on the end."

"To be honest I think they're just for show... maybe structural reasons." Harman explained "Sometimes I wonder who comes up with the designs at Lockheed."

"Well as long as the plane can fly I'm game." Wally said "So when do we get to fly one of these things?"

"You two will start tommorow." Harman said "The faster we get you trainned in handling jet fighters the better. For now get some shut eye and take a breather its been a long enough day as it is."

Dick and Wally left, knowing full well the prospect that tommorow they be speeding across the sky and showing Jerry that they weren't so slow anymore. Dick however hadn't bothered voicing his dissapointment over the lack of a swept wing design. The designer back at Lockheed who missed that little detail was an F-ing moron.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4: My Tank is Bigger

In the second Chapter we talked about the Maus tank and how it was so big and slow and expensive it would have bankrupted German if it ever actually fullfilled its role as a replacement for the Tiger Tank. As explained a Super-Heavy tank should never be developed to replace the entire conventional tank force of your war machine. Hitler's first mistake was scrapping more feasible tank designs in favour of bigger and badder heavy tanks which were effective in battle but expensive, took too long to produce, guzzeled gas on par with the average SUV owner, took forever to transport and worst of all if damaged or destroyed could not be easily replaced. Light and medium tanks that are easily produced and easy to replace if lost were what should have made up the bulk of Hitler's forces. The Sherman may not have been well armoured or very well gunned but there were always more in supply if yours ever brokedown. The T-34 itself was a medium tank that proved itself as the best of the war by being able to slug it out with Tiger and Panther tanks but also by being able to be quickly produced en masse. If you were ever to use heavy tanks it was suppose to be for specialized purposes or as back-up for major operations never as the main battle tank that every tanker would be supplied with.

(Control Freak sits on the broken up Maus Tank)

Control Freak: Whats your point? Haven't you picked on the Maus enough?

Well actually yes, I'm just trying to explain why Hitler shouldn't have decided to put stock in heavier tanks and bigger gun designs when smaller, more practical tanks could easily have done the jobs that the Tigers and Panthers were commisioned for. Tigers were slow, hard to replace, gas guzzlers and were expensive to produce, but still had practical use just not for every situation. Panthers themselves were faster, but were just as expensive and not entirely needed for the war effort. Their productions were bleeding the German economy fast and Hitler wanted to replace the Tiger with a friggin Heavy-Super Tank! Does that make sense at all?

Control Freak: But the Panther is so cool! Hell, its a collector's item for tank restorers everywhere! Plus its name sounds so f'ing cool! Panther! It invokes ferocity and power!

And the name Maus invokes irony.

Control Freak: We get it already. (Turns back to camera)

I'm just asking, do you want something that looks cool? Or do want something that can accomplish everything you need without overkill so you can win the war with little cost?

Control Freak: Something cool.

Well then good luck with that, your country is gonna go bankrupt and loose the war like Germany did.

Control Freak: Oh yeah sure, as if the Allies didn't have just as crazy plans as Hitler's scientists. I'm sure they had just as crazy a plan as Hitler's Maus tank.

You got me there actually, they did, but thats for another chapter, this one is just going to examine the Allies own Super-Heavy tanks and show how they got the idea right.

Control Freak: Oh please, if the Maus failed miserably, how the hell did the Allied super-heavys succeed?

Cyborg: Well if you shut up maybe he'll tell you. And I'm hosting this segment, so get lost!

Control Freak: Fine, screw this, I'm going back to building my Panther Tank model

Cyborg: Okay, so tell me what I got General Rage.

The British and Americans created two high profile Super-Heavy tanks, that were only scrapped after they were deemed unessecary for the war. They were known as American T-28 Tank Destroyer and the British Tortoise.

Cyborg: Cool! We got two big tanks! Wohoo!

Actually the T-28 isn't really a tank, its a tank destroyer.

Cyborg: Okay, whats the difference?

Tanks are meant to provide infantry cover as well as support offenses into enemy territory. Tank Destroyers are specifically designed to destroy enemy tank forces. Its basically a giant rolling anti-tank gun, it has no turret, is ineffective against infantry, and is more heavily reliant on armour keeping it safe. Also some tank destroyer may not need treads at all and its usually cheaper to produce. Its a weapon designed to decimate enemy tank forces efficently and quickly. There, you got it now? Cause I can explain it easier if you want?

Cyborg: Geez sorry I asked.

The T-28 was a super heavy weapon that was designed to bust through the heavy defenses of the Sigfried line in Germany, and was a candidate to be used in the land invasion of the Japanese homeland. It had a low profile and its turret was fitted into a ball-shaped mantlet. Because of its 95 ton weight when fully loaded it needed two treads to support it. Also it looked very friggin' ugly.

Cyborg: Please, on a tank all that really matters is fire power! (Pause) And armour, because if it had no armour it would be blown up easy.

Well it had an 105 mm T5E1 gun that complimented its ugly looks and made the thing look like a turtle with and elogated neck.

Cyborg: Thats called a Snake-neck turtle.

I know the name, I'm trying to just give an image.

Cyborg: Geez, I'm just trying to help.

It also was well protected, with armour as thick as 12 inches in some places. So it wasn't going to be easy to blow it up like some tanks.

Cyborg: Good to know, cause I need to keep my black ass safe. So how fast is this baby?

With an underpowered gasoline ford engine, 8 mph, meaning 13 kph, meaning about as fast as the Maus.

(Cyborg riding along in slow T-28 when Maus comes up next to it carrying Control Freak)

Control Freak: HAH! In your face! Its not even a real tank! HA HA HA! I win! I win!

(Cyborg grows angry and stops the T-28 letting the Maus pass. He then fires the T-28 gun at the Maus and causes it to explode!)

Control Freak: OWWWWW!

Cyborg: Never diss someone with a bigger f--king gun.

Originally planned for a production of 25, only two T-28s were made and ordered and niether saw combat. One can now be seen at the Patton Museum of Cavalry and Armor. Compared to Hitler's original 150 order for the Maus the Allies knew how to properly implement the tank... well tank destroyer into the field.

Cyborg: So how would this thing have been used?

Most likely it would have taken the role of all tank destroyers for the time, taking a back seat to the action up front... way up front! Unless there were plans to get a better engine this slow tank destroyer would have lagged far behind its real tank counterparts. However when it would eventually encounter tanks like the Tiger or Panther it would have easily destroyed them and been able to take a beating from it as well. Perhaps it would instead cover the rear of the advancing Shermans, making sure a group of Panzers didn't sneak up and blow the whole division out of the water. In 1945 however, when the advance into Germany had begun the Sigfried line was a mere obstacle for the advancing tanks, it was mostly abandoned by now with the Germans retreating further into their homeland.Germany had better lucky with destroying the bridges that led the Allies deeper into Germany then they did with the Sigfried line. The T-28 was overkill, had it been implemented then it just would have killed more tanks then the Germans had protecting the line, which were few.

(3 T-28's pull up ontop of a hill and Cyborg pops his head out)

Cyborg: Alright Jerry, prepare to meet your maker!

(Cyborg is suddenly shock when he see only one tank defending the line)

German Tanker: Hey there!

Cyborg: Dude, wheres all the Panthers? The Tigers? The Panzer forces of the Third Reich?

German Tanker: Oh those! Yeah they were all sent to the Eastern front to try and stop the Russians... I don't think they're coming back.

Cyborg: What about you?

German Tanker: I got a doctor's note that says Eastern Europe gives me hives.

Cyborg: Smart.

German Tanker: I know.

(Cyborg's T-28s blow up the Panzer)

Bodiless voice from Mortal Kombat: OVERKILL!

Cyborg: Wow, this was a little much. So what woulda happened if it was sent to Japan?

Japan had practically no tank forces by the intended launch date for the invasion of Japan... not that they ever really used them in the first place. What little it could help destroy wouldn't matter as the Japanese had other plans for the Americans if they ever arrived on the main island.

Cyborg: Okay so the T-28 was overkill at the time it was built for, is that the main lesson with all Super-heavy tanks?

Considering the design was abandoned by the allies soon after the war, yes. Super-heavys were a fun idea for the time, but it soon became clear to everyone how impractical and overkill they were. Only the soviet ever made another Super-heavy tank after WWII. But we'll cover that when we talk about their tanks in their own chapter. Nothing beats crazy designs more then multi-turreted Ruskie tanks!

Cyborg: Sounds like fun... if you're not a German.

Now onto the second, equally fated to fail, British Tortoise. Yes it was named after an animal that was not that big, or menacing, or even a meat-eater. But it was named after a creature that had a very hard shell on its back and whose closest cousins lived in the sewers, being trained by Japanese rats who knew kung fu and used swords, sais, nunchucks and bow staffs to defeat alien dinosaurs, infeminite sounding brain things and guys in metal armour with sharp claws.

Cyborg: (Jumps out in Leonardo suit) Turtle Power!

(Robin runs up)

Robin: you can't be Leo! I'm Leo! I was Leo in the Retro-verse!

(Cyborg punches him away)

Cyborg: Quit your whinning.

Ahem, back to the Tortoise.

Cyborg: Oh, sorry.

Anyway, the Tortoise was designed to clear fortified areas, you know Nazi Strongholds that had millions of Machine guns and lots defenders. Because of this the tank would favour armoured protection over mobility and speed, hence the name. Like the T-28, it didn't really have a turret but a more fixed position with the same ball mantel as its American counterpart. It was armed with a 32-pounder gun and proved to be effective agaisnt the Panther's armour from over 1000 yards. Its engine was not underpowered like the T-28 but it still weighed in at 78 tons! It was incredibly slow offroad at 6 kph, slightly faster on roads however at 19 kph. It never saw combat in the war and was deemed to high and heavy to be easily transported anywhere. The Tortoise may have had a better name, but its name apparently fit the tank too well, it was probably only slightly faster then the real tortoise off road. Such a big target would have inevitably left it open to attack from all sides, and with no turret it would not be able to defend itself quickly enough. Like the T-28 it would probably be best served covering the rear while the real attack force weighed in on the enemy.

(Cyborg sits in the Tortoise)

Cyborg: Can't we move any faster? The war's almost over!

Driver: Oh give me a break! I'm doing the best I can.

(A small snail is seen inching along the back of the Tortoise)

Snail: WAHOOOO! FASTER MAN, FASTER! THIS IS THE GREATEST THRILL OF MY LIFE!

Cyborg: I feel like the butt end of a joke.

And thats what all Super-heavys were, big, fat, gun weilding, gigantic, impractical, unrequired jokes. Which makes every single one prime for comedy.

---------------------------------

Sigfried Line, 761st Tank Battalion

Victor Stone and his men were proud of themselves, they'd broke through the Sigfried Line and had opened the door into Germany for the rest of the Allied Forces. While they waited for reiforcements to catch up to their speedy advance they took time out to eat, relax, and generally horse around. They deserved it, especially after all they had been through. Victor had joined the battalion so he could serve his country in the war and since it was the only tank battalion that would let African Americans in he really didn't have much of a choice where he ended up. No matter now, he was now leading his men head long into battle against the Krauts and bringing the war straight to their doorstep. Any doubts that people had against his 'race' getting the job done were pretty much extinguished. They were on the frontlines, headed straight into the Rhineland and as far as he could tell no one could tell him he wasn't doing well so far.

Victor's thoughts were interupted when he heard the slow bleating of several engines from behind him, coming over the field, very slowly, were some large tanks. Not Maus, they had British markings on them. When the five tanks finally reached him a little over 10 minutes later the hatch opened up and out popped a rather confused British officer with a face that asked what was going on.

"Excuse me Yank," he said to Victor "where's Jerry?"

"Sorry Commander," Victor apologized "you missed the party. This part of the Sigfried line's already been claimed by the US army."

"Oh bollocks." The commander screamed under his throat "Curse this stupid slow plodding vehicle. I was assigned to provide cover for the allied tanks in this area and in the end it turns out I can't even keep up wit the people I'm suppose to watch out for. Damn it all."

"Hey relax man," Victor assured "we managed to get here fine. Don;t beat yourself up about it, besides we only encountered one or two light panzers anyway. Most of the Germans are probably being pulled back to Berlin. The Ruskies and their Tanks are getting closer by the day."

"Well, as long as my abseance didn't get anyone killed I should be grateful." The commander said "Still it makes me feel my position is unrequired. Now I knwo why they call this the Tortoise. I only was able to go 6 kph off road and theres no road for miles!"

The English man sighed greatly as he pulled off his commander's beret and rubbed his hair around.

"I don't suppose you have some whisky on you?" He asked Vic.

Vic tossed him a small flask which the poor bloke caught and took a big swig of.

"You knwo the whole concept of a Super-Heavy tank sounds smashing on paper," he said "but if you arrive in it on the battlefield and you've missed the fighting it doesn't do well for one's self-esteem."

"So you suppose to head back now?" Vis asked

"Oh thank heavens no," The officer replied "I'd reach there until this time tommorow. I'm suppose to cover you and your division and that is what I intend to do even if I can't keep up half the time."

"Well some added protection would be nice." Victor complimented "What's your name sir?"

"Commander Hawkins, yes I know it sounds like every Englishman is called Hawkins, just please ignore it." The commander said "I'm not really in the mood."

"Just rest up commander," Vic explained "we'll be staying here until reinforcements arrive."

The conversation was interrupted by a sudden movement in the forest several miles down the road. The entire camp could see trees swaying and crashing down as well as smoke billowing up from the forest itself.

"A forest fire?" Hawkins questioned "Doesn't seem like the right time of year for that."

"No it isn't a forest fire." Vic told him "Is something else, I'm betting on something really big. Has to be if we can see it from here."

"You don't suppose its another on of Jerry's wonder weapons do you?" Hawkins asked

"I hope not," Vic told him "but expierence has taught that in this war hoping doesn't really help you out much. Better get your men rested and hope reinforcements arrive soon, we may have a fight on our hands."


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: In Soviet Russia, Tank drives you!

General Sherman of the Union forces said it best when he uttered the famous words, 'War is Hell!' And hell is the best way to describe the bitter fighting of the Eastern Front. The reasoning was that it was different war based on idealogy more then anything else. The Americans and British were trying to stop a mad man with aspirations of world domination. Stalin was a mad man trying to stop another mad man from over throwing him and practically whiping his people from the face of the Earth! Stalin had to win, ruling Russia with an Iron Fist was his job and he would be damned if some crazy Fascist f--k took that away from him!

Red Star: Oh give the guy a break, at least he didn't call for the death of the entire Jewish race.

No, but he locked people up in gulags, killed his generals in a paranoid rage and enslaved half of Europe behind an Iron Curtain when he defeated Germany.

Red Star: Okay so he was a prick, but don't blame me I didn't vote... in fact no one voted... hell I didn't even take part in the bloodless coup.

Declaring his fight the Great Patriotic War, Stalin sent millions of Russian lives to die defending the Motherland. They had two options stand and fight the Nazi invaders or retreat and get shot by the Soviet officer with a machine gun back at your defensive line.

Red Star: Stalin never did like people letting him down. He was kinda like Micheal in Godfather 2.

(Shift to Stalin grabbing the cheeks of a Russian Conscript)

Stalin: I know it was you Ivan! You broke my heart Ivan, you broke my heart!

Ivan: Sir, I just came back to get a sandwhich!

(Stalin takes a gun and shoots Ivan)

Stalin: Hey, I couldn't just let him go! People would think I'm soft!

The fighting would become so brutal on the Eastern front that it became a relative death sentence to be sent there. As immortalized in this recreation of a famous WWII sitcom.

(Slade stands beside Robin with a monocle in his eye)

Slade: Oh Robin, I fear the high command of the SS is going to ship me out to the Eastern Front!

Robin: Why is that Colonel?

Slade: They say I'm incompetent, stupid, pathetic, have no battle expierence and I'm a coward. So I fit all criteria to be shipped there.

Robin: Maybe if we make them think you're crazy.

Slade: They say crazy people are just what they're looking for, especially ones on suicide watch.

Robin: Well there's got to be something we can do?

Slade: Yes, shoot me in the foot. That way I won't be able to stand and be less of a target for Snipers over there.

Robin: Don't worry Slade, I'll find a way to get those SS murderers to leave you alone.

Slade: If you do I'll be forever in debted to you.

Robin: Can I have your hat then?

Slade: ROOBBBBBIIIN!

Robin: Okay, okay, no hat, geez. (Leaves)

Slade: How do you suppose that Robin does it Control Freak?

Control Freak: I know nothing!

Slade: You always say that.

Despite Germany's seemingly awesome military might, Hitler grieviously underestimated Stalin as an opponent. Although intially caught off guard in the fighting, Stalin recovered after his stupor and called for the Russian people to defend the Motherland from an enemy that meant to destroy them. This was easy to get across when news of German atrocities in Russia hit the airwaves. Its hard to call your invading force of Fascist assholes liberators of a Communist regime when they spend their time killing, raping and pillaging anything and everything they see. Stalin was bad, but at least his troops never tried to commit mass murder on your whole village just because they didn't like your face, now if you said something bad about the Government ...

Red Star: We can argue all about who was more evil, most of us of course would say Germany was, but get to the point we're trying to make.

Geez, calm down. Anyway Stalin advised his military planners, those who left after the purges anyway, to come up with a strategy to winning the war. He also entrusted them to make tanks that would rival the German Panzers rolling over Russian soil. They came up with a few designs and prototypes, and alot of them seemed to share a theme... multiple turrets.

Red Star: Two heads are better then one you know. In this case Turrets.

The Russians, with their limited industrial power and economic might, managed to contribute some rather unique tank designs in the second world war. The T-34 may have been the best but these ones deserve some credit for their just plain utter weirdness.

Red Star: Also they had lots of guns! How many? More then your weak little Western Tanks!

One of the first multi-turreted tanks developed was in 1930. Called the T-35 it had, not one, not two, not three, but four turrets all compressed together! Two small ones facing front, one facing back and one giant gun turret on top of og the three. Needless to say, the tank was cramped.

(T-35 tanks stands in field)

Gunner 1: You got your elbow in my face!

Gunner 2: Well he's got my face in his ass!

Gunner 3: Oh go to hell will ya!

Driver: Would you all get your feet away from me!

Gunner 4: Oh shut up! I can barely breathe back here!

Red Star: Everyone shut up or I'm turning this tank around!

Crew: Yes sir.

(T-35 takes off)

The tank's biggest gun was the main turret on top, a 76.2 mm gun model. Not exactly perfect for engaging other tanks, but this was before the Tiger was ever introduced and before Hitler was even in power so lets give them a break. They were Commies not fortune tellers, Stalin could have used one of those.

Gypsy: I see great danger, a man in a Charlie Chaplin mustache is plotting against you! You must prepare for war!

Stalin: As if I'd ever believe a Gypsy, you just want my money!

(Aid rushes in)

Stalin's Aid: Sir! We have reports of a massing army of German tanks on the border!

(Stalin shoots Aid in the head)

Stalin: Don't interrupt me when I'm having a conversation! Geez, people these days.

The smaller guns below were either machine gun turrets or smaller 45mm guns. Its top speed was 30 km/h, but it was insufficently armoured at 11-30 mm. The tank also suffered from many mechanical problems in the field, most commonly transmission failure.

(Red Star is shown trying to start the T-35, all he gets is sputtering)

Gunner: Maybe we're out of gas.

Red Star: Thats impossible! I put in a fresh tank this morning!

(Red Star continues trying to start the tank)

Gunner: I have some jumper cables.

Red Star: We're fine, its just being stubborn is all!

(Red star continues trying to start tank)

Gunner: You think its frozen?

Red Star: No, its not okay. I already tried anti-freeze.

(Red Star continues trying to start the tank)

Gunner: Maybe you need to crank it harder.

Red Star: SHUT UP! I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING!

Gunner: Geez, I'm just trying to be helpful.

Red Star: Oh you're gonna be helpful alright, get out and push!

Gunner: But this thing weighs 45 tons!

Red Star: Get out and push! NOW!

(Gunner gets out and pushes tank along frozen tundra)

Red Star: We better be at the frontline by morning or there is no vodka for anyone.

Crew: Aw! No fair!

Red Star: Shut up! How many times do I have to say that?

Needless to say the T-35 would see no real combat in the Second World War. Its only real military service was in the lesser known war in Finland where one tank was disabled by a landmine and could not be recovered. The design was soon abandoned but other multi-turreted tanks were in the works. The SMK and T-100 heavy tanks for example were twin turreted tanks placed along a long chassis. One turret sat on top of the other for both tanks making it hard to distiguish one from the other. Both tanks however had different bases and the SMK had a different feature from the T-100. It had a backward machine gun position on the top turret meant to guard the tank's rear against potential infantry threats with anti-tank weaponry but little else.

(Johnny Rancid holds up a panzerschreck)

Johnny: Why don't I attack it from the side then?

I suppose that would work

(Johnny fires a Panzerchreck at the SMK)

Red Star: Why the hell did you tell them that!?!

Both the T-100 and SMK were competing designs, each trying to prove itself the superior twin turreted Tank. But in test runs they showed their problems, both had poor mobility, an archaic design concept and of course by then the KV series had been put into production and were deemed a better class of tank then the two designs. However just because the tanks didn't meet the standard Russia had set for them doesn't mean they weren't an interesting piece of engineering. Both Turrets were seperate from the other, the one on top of course was the only one that had the ability to shift fully around. The long chassis gave the tanks more space then the T-35 and they were well armoured and sported similar guns, 76mm (or 76.2mm) and 45 mm arnaments for both turrets respectively. The bottom always got the small gun.

Bottom Gunner: I hate the small gun.

Red Star: Well too bad I called shotgun on the top.

(Red Star fires at the enemy Panzer tanks)

Red Star: Right in the backside!

Bottom Gunner: Who cares niether of these guns are sufficent enough to breakthrough the tank without getting a shot in the back.

Red star: Oh you're just saying that because your gun isn't as big as mine.

Bottom Gunner: Are you overcompensating for something?

Red Star: Go to hell.

The T-100 however did lead to a self-propelled gun called the SU-100Y a big gun that never entered production but did help defend Moscow in 1941.

(Red Star stands ontop of SU-100Y)

Red Star: Now this is a gun!

Russian Soldier: What is it with you and big guns?

Red Star: Whats with you and your continued dissing of big guns?

The SU-100Y wasn't a tank, as its designation implies it is just a really big gun that can be driven into battle to barrage incoming enemy tanks. It was fitted with a 100 to 130mm naval gun so it was by no means a push-over. A direct hit with that type firepower would stop a panther dead in its tracks and a quick reload would quickly destroy the next one. Got an enemy bunker shooting up your conscripts? Bring out this bad boy and blast its ass clean off!

Red Star: It gives me great joy to see such a dedication to destruction, the Motherland surely does look after her children. FIRE IN THE HOLE!

(Red Star fires the SU-100Y and blows up a small German machine gun bunker, everyone comes running out screaming and on fire)

German Soldier: For god's sake we were just sitting down to play checkers!

Soldier on Fire: I'm on fire! Mein Gott! I'm on fire!

German Soldier: Quick! Stop, drop and roll!

(Soldier on fire does so and continues rolling on the ground until he starts rolling down the hill and smashes into an ammo dump causing it to explode. Everyone looks on in awe.)

German Soldier: Hmm, thats a bad bit of luck.

Unfortunately its defense at Moscow was pretty much all the SU-100Y saw of battle. When the T-100 was cancelled it sealed the gun's fate and no more were produced. However if ever put into production it surely would have accomplished its tasks as a self-propelled gun. See, we can show a few practical weapons as well.

Red Star: Can I keep it?

No, we have to move onto our final tanks, this one concerning the infamous KV series of heavy tanks that found their way into the war. There were plenty versions of the KV series that never saw the light of day, one of those were the KV-4 and KV-5 Super-Heavy breakthrough tanks, only ever thought of on paper and never actually concieved. We've already explained how impractical Super-Heavy's were, but the KV-4 and KV-5 were different from the others because they still held onto that twin turret design of the SMK series. Why? Well as Red Star shows us, the Russians seemed to have a thing for guns.

Red Star: A Russian Tank Commander made the friggin AK-47! Of course we have a thing for guns! The more on a tank the better!

Well so far your multi-turreted tank ideas haven't produced any fruit, maybe you need to rethink this whole idea of multi-turreted tanks.

Red Star: NEVER!

There are over 20 designs for the KV-4 alone, so it stands to reason no one could think of a working, functioning design for the tank. Probably one of the reasons it was never made. Some sketches suggested a ball like turret on top of a larger one at the bottom, another one had a big gun with several machine guns sticking out from the back, the forward front and a top turreted area. One more design had the main turret made smaller and less manuverable with another standard turret on top of the tank. Only one design made it a standard one turreted tank, probably the most plausible.

Red Star: Blasphemy!

(Burns design)

Well thats a bit of history gone up in smoke.

Red Star: I don't care!

Design after design after design was more cramped, more grand, more strange then the last! Its impossible to figure out which tank was more feasible since no one could decide on which they could actually build. All of the tanks had one thing in common though, their use of the 107mm gun that would be attached to the arnament or ZIS-6 cannon. Tests of both were favourable and 600 ZIS-6 cannons were produced. The KV-4 was not, the indecision of its design phase sealed its fate.

Red Star: I say we should've built one of each. Better safe then sorry.

The KV-5 was a different story, it only ever had one design. It would have had a large turret, that provided normal working conditions for the crew, and a equally large gun. Its hull was to be 9.2 metres, the diameter of its turret ring was 1840mm.

Red Star: That must've been some gun.

Russian Tanker: Does this mean we have room to work now?

Red Star: Yes, I suppose.

Russian Tanker: WOHOO! No offense sir, but on the previous tanks I was suffocating whenever you... ah... broke wind.

Red Star: Shut up, its the caviar.

It was heavily armoured at 150 to 180 mm and mounted with parellel V-2 engine. Meaning it would have been safe and perhaps a little faster then other Super-Heavy tanks. Unfortunately production of the tank was started at a time when Leningrad was under seige. So production was halted and switched to in production KV tanks instead. Out of all the other experimental tank designs we talked about so far, this was the closest one to coming to fruition and perhaps actually succeeding where its predecessors failed. Had the situation at Leningrad been less dire, the KV-5 would have at least entered prototype or maybe even production stage. If Stalin was going to follow the protocols of tanks we laid out earlier he most likely would have produced only a few of these tanks for specialized operations.

Red Star: Enough with the crappy techno babble, when do I get to fire the damn thing!

Right now, as our story continues.

Red star: Finally, everyone shut up and lets shoot some stuff!

---------------

Secret German Airbase, Somewhere in Eastern Europe...

A German General steps through the doors of the hanger, his entourage of black uniformed Nazi soldiers beside him. He is isntantly recognizable from his orange and black face mask. He is known as General Deathstroke, a member of the high command of the SS. Even with his mask on one could see the rage and anger in this man's eyes. He was not someone you should ever try and argue with. He approached the other end of the hanger where the commanding officer of the airbase, Field Marshall Blood stood next to a partially draped and very large bomber.

"General Deathstroke," Blood said "to what do I owe the honor of your visit to our humble base?"

"Do not patronize me Blood," Deathstroke told him "I am not here to hear you try and honor you with anything. I come here because the Russian advance is endangering the mission. Move the bomber to the staging area."

"But sir," Blood said "the Russians are miles away. We have plenty of time to-"

"Time is not on our side." The General said "The allies are pushing through pockets in the Sigfried line and are moving ever further in land. Menawhile the Russians are speeding to Berlin. By dawn the Communists will be at our this airfield's doorstep and we will have lost one of the most crucial assest of the plan to them."

"I understand sir," Blood defended "but out pilots have been up all day trying to slow the Russian advance. They are tired and their planes need to be refueled before we can properly escort the bomber out of here."

"I do not care how tired your men are." Deathstroke said annoyed "The ordanance for the bomber is already at the staging area in Northern Germany, but without the bomber it cannot be delievered to its intended target. Now, get whatever pilots you can, scrouge whatever fuel you can find and get this bomber in the air!"

"But-"

Blood was cut off when Deathstroke pulled out a luger and stuck it in his face.

"You are trying my patience Blood." He said calmly "Get this bomber airborne now!"

"Blood, yes sir, right away sir. It will be airborne at once sir." Blood stammered "But if you ask my opinion, I believe this all to be a little rash. The Russians are still miles away from us and I ordered a fresh squadron of Panzer tanks to reinforce the frontlines. I doubt they can penetrate through our lines that fast."

"Hope that those Panzer keep back the Russians," Deathstroke said "or I shall leave you here for them. Perhaps they'll actually care to listen to your useless opinions."

"Understood sir." Blood gulped, he quickly ordered his men to get the bomber ready.

Nearby in airfield's communications building a claked figure sneaks through the hallways of the darkened building. The figure sneaks along silently, trying to avoid making to much noise. German guards are patroling along these same halls and being discovered now would compromise the mission. When the figure slinks into the next hall, a lone guard is seen guarding the a doorway. With no time to wait for him to leave the figure walks out into the hall. The guard quickly notices the figure.

"Halt." He says, walking over to the figure gun outstretched

Paying no heed to the guard the figure pulls out a silenced pistol and fires. The German goes down flat on the floor without ever makign a sound. After holstering the pistol, the figure undos her cloak from her head. Her short black hair now fully visible.

"As if I'd ever listen to a Fascist." She said underneath her breath

She opened the door to the room, finding several large file cabinets inside.

"This must be the records room." she says

The woman looks around the cabinets until she finds what she's looking for, the file cabinet that says restricted. Pulling out the drawer she shifts through the files until she finally finds one in the back of the drawer. Its title reads 'Targeted Sites for Operation: Final Vengeance' Opening the file up it reveals several recon photos, both from land and from the air of several high value targets, none of them however are exclusively military. Lines pointing to places like Washington DC, London, Moscow, New York City are all drawn on several maps each starting in Germany.

"Its worse then we thought." She says

Suddenly the large radio walkie talkie on her cloak goes off.

"Ravenna," a man's voice say quietly "have you got the information?"

Picking up the radio, Ravenna responds.

"Da Commander Kovlar," she says "I know what they're targeting now, but not what they plan."

"It will have to do," the voice on the other end says "we're heading to your position now. Get out of there before the Germans find you there."

"At once comrade."

Ravenna rushes out of the records room, but finds that the guard she took out has been discovered by his friends. They look up from his body and are shocked to see the Russian woman standing there.

"Alarm!" The German shouts aloud

While the other obliges and hits the nearest switch, Ravenna take out her PPSh-41 and fires at the two soldiers before they can take out their own weapons.

"Damn it all." She curses under her breath as she hears more Germans running down the hall. She rushes in the opposite direction down the hall. Only to be greated by more Germans rushing from that direction.

"Achtung! Fire!" The lead German shouts

Ravenna, rolls out of the way of the incoming bullets and throws herself through a doorway. Quickly getting back up, she rushes through a door that take her outside and onto a grated pathway that she follows to the roof. More Germans from the staircase door on the other side of the roof. They fire on her as she run. Ravenna only looks back to fire a few short rounds that take out two Germans. She then reaches the end of the roof and leaps off. As soon as she does, a thought runs through her head.

"I really should have thought this througha bit more."

Lucky for her, Ravenna lands on the opposing hanger. By now the whole base is on alert as she sees German Soldiers rushing about the place trying to find out whats going on. While she looks for a way down she spies a window that shows her whats inside the hanger. A draped large bomber of somesort, a bunch of alerted German soldier and one very angry German Officer shaking another German officer by his coat collar. Suddenly, the angry German looks up and spots her. Ravenna is shocked at who it is, General Deathstroke, she'd recognize that mask anywhere. She started pulling out her Sniper Rifle off her back, but it was too late. The Nazi bastard had already pointed up at her and and several bullets slammed through the glass as the German guards fired up on her. The window shattered and Ravenna pulled herself back from it. She pushed herself back too hard and landed square ontop of wooden landing attached to the hanger. She saw two Germans rushing along its side and firing on her. Without much time to think, she jumped from the landing and landed on the ground hard. Amazingly she was still able to roll on her side get a bead on the two Germans above. She fired one shot into the German that was peering over the landing, then cocked the gun, then fired at the second before he could tell what had just happened. Ravenna slowly got to her feet and saw that she was surrounded by German guards advacing on her position.

"Where the hell are you Kovlar?" She asked herself

As if on cue a large explosion hit a group of advancing Germans. Ravenna looked over to where the shot had come from and saw a large KV-5 tank, its in mistakable large turret looking like a godsend. The small domed Machine gun turret in front opened fire on the Germans as they turned their attention towards the tank and away from her. Ravenna quickly rushed towards the tank, knowing that only one person out here drove it. Sure enough Captain Kovlar popped his head up in the midst of the battle and waved over to her.

"Come on!" He said "We got to get out of here now!"

"Don't need tell me twice sir!" Ravenna said scrambling onto the tank.

Kovlar went back inside the tank and she followed shutting the hatch behind her. The Tank turned around and made its way for the exit. But not before firing two more shots at the opposing hangers as planes started to make their way out the doors.

"I thought you said we needed to get out of here?" Ravenna asked as Kovlar continued to fire rounds at German soldiers firing at them.

"We are," he said "as soon as I do one last thing."

Kovlar stopped the tank just short of the airfield's traffic control tower and fired. The high explosive round blew a hole straight through the tower's head, making it nothing more then a smoking spire.

"Now we go." Kovlar said

The tank quickly made its getaway back into the darkness of the night. German Soldiers frantically trying to take it out only to meet their ends as a machine gun mowed them down.

Back at the now smoking airbase, General Deathstroke was incensed. Not only had a Russian soldier infiltrated and escaped the base, but a lone tank with an oversized turret had levelled half of it to the ground. Luckily the bomber had remained intact and the plan was still secured, but that didn't change the fact that everything could have been ruined if that tank had jsut pointed its gun at the bomber's hanger. He turned back to Field Marhshall Blood with a fury in his eyes. Blood was trembling as the General walked up to him.

"How far did you say the Russians were again?" He asked Blood.

Blood couldn't answer.

"Get the Bomber airborne... NOW!"

Blood quickly ran back to the hanger with several of his men to finish preping the bomber for flight. Deathstroke looked back out onto the airfield.

"Those Bolsheviks shall pay for this." he said "They shall al pay, for everything."

Back inside the KV-5 Ravenna, along with Kovlar and his tank crew made their way back to their lines. The information they gathered safely inside Ravenna's cloak. If they were lucky it would take the germans awhile before they knew it was gone.

"So what did you find out?" The commander asked

"That this no longer concerns just us and the Motherland." She explained "We need to get to the Western Allies and fast."

Kovlar was surprised by her answer.

"Is it that bad?" He asked.

"When a war forces Capitalists to work with Socialists Kovlar, yes, it is that bad." Ravenna explained "It would be best if you put any reservations about that fact away for now. The Germans are desperate, and if what I'm thinking is right then we're going to need all the help we can get."


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6: RATTE!

If you need anymore proof that Hitler was absolutely insane you should check out some of his crazy building drawnings. All of them grand, spacious, huge and if I may so incredibly costly and useless. Hitler kept thinkign bigger was better. He never considered that bigger was more expensive and costly and very very hard to make. Not one to listen to reason he was always trying to imagine bigger and greater tanks. The Maus was the pinnacle of these beliefs, but there was one weapon that he authorized to make that even surpassed this. It was so huge they needed to make up a new class for it, Land Cruiser. To make this huge vehicle they would have needed a ship yard sized work space, thousands of tons of steel, months of man hours building them and lots and lots of cash! The Maus would have bankrupted Germany, but the Landkreuzer P. 1000 Ratte would have completely set the country back into a third world nation. It would have immedietly ended the war if one was ever built, for there would be fewer practical tanks out there and the vehicle would have been impossible to move to the frontlines anyway! Too bad though, it would have made a great center piece for any World War II museum.

(Raven, Melvin, Timmy and Teether stand in front of the huge Ratte as it sits on display in a War Museum. Raven looks at plaque.)

Melvin: Whats its say Raven?

Raven: It says, "Thanks to this one Tank being built in early 1943, Germany lost all capacity to wage war. Meaning the Allies were able to invade Normandy faster then anticipated, and forced the German Military to depose Hitler and surrender to the Allies. This of course lead to the Russians only controlling a small portion of Poland and drew the battlelines of the Cold War more in Favour of the Western powers. Communism never took rise in Vietnam, Cuba and several armed civil wars never occured all because this tank was built. Therefore, everyone should thank god that Hitler was such a f'ing nutjar for actually building this thing and causing his own destruction." Damn, all that just because they built one tank. I wish I lived in this timeline.

Timmy: I wanna drive it!

Raven: You can't, you're too young.

Timmy: WAAAHHHA! (Throws self on floor and whines) I wanna drive the ultra-super tank! I wanna drive the ultra-super tank!

Melvin: Bobby wants to fire the gun.

Raven: Bobby needs to stop hanging around Red Star.

Melvin: But Bobby loves hanging out with Red Star. He's friendly, nice...

Raven: Gun crazy.

(Red Star walks up)

Red Star: That is not true, I'd just as sooner use my fists then guns. I actually only like guns that cause big explosions! So I'm more of an explosion guy. Hell it revolves around my entire origin.

Raven: I thought the whole explosion thing traumatized you when it first happened.

Red Star: That was before I discover conventional uses for huge explosions. Such as helping demolish buildings and taking out bad guys in nuclear powered robots. Its all good fun.

Raven: You are a strange and confusing person. (Looks around) Where's Timmy?

Melvin: Oh he went to drive the super big tank.

(Raven looks back and see Timmy inside tank as it pulls into reverse)

Timmy: I'm king of the world!

Raven: You get down from that mega tank or you are so grounded mister!

(Ratte crashes out of Hanger)

Timmy: YAY! Lets go get back at those bullies who picked on me in day care!

Raven: That kid is going to get such a spanking... or he would if it wasn't illegal in this state.

At 35 meters in length, 14 meters wide and 11 meters high the Ratte would have been a giant and needed a 20 plus crew to operate it. Although its designation of P. 1000 was meant to state its estimated weight, it may have ended up being heavier at 2000 plus tons! The size and weight of the behemoth would have crushed pavement, almost every known bridge in Europe, made manuvering through urban areas impossible without massive destruction and essentially would have limited the vehicle's movements to rural areas where it could get around more easily. It would have run on naval engines suitable for a ship and, if plans were to be believed, supposedly would have reached up to 40 kph, maybe 20 kph. (This is only supposed since the tank never left paper) But why go through all this trouble? Apparently Hitler wanted to stick a naval gun on a tank, the biggest one he could find. Well the Ratte would have supported two 280 mm naval guns fitted on a specially designed turret that was similar to one on a battleship but with the third center gun removed. So, basically the Ratte was packing two of the heaviest, biggest guns Germany had. While the guns were useless at close range, the tank had other weapons. Such as 128 mm anti-tank gun mounted on the front of the tank and eight 20mm flak guns. Theses would most likely be placed at the back of the main turret and in two sets of quad turrets of their own. The tank would also have two machine guns to keep infantry away. So the Ratte was ready for everything and with a sufficent escort of Panzers by iis side and the Ratte packing heavy armour all over its self it could've taken what the Allies had and dished it right back out to them with little trouble. But it had one major weakness, its size. As will be explained in this sketch.

(Private Hive stands atop a huge Ratte tank)

Private Hive: My hide is thick, my senses are keen, my guns are big, I can take whatever you got and spit it back a thousand times more. I got the biggest f--king tank ever made mutherf--kers! Come get some! Cause I will kick your ass all the way out of the Fatherland! Rammstein! (Holds up devil sign and then hears engines overhead) Hmm, thats sounds like a high level B-17 bomber. (Hears a dropping sound) And that sounds like several high explosive bombs... oh boy... I think I've made a poopy.

(Large mushroom cloud appears overhead as the Ratte blows up)

A tank as big as the Ratte could probably be spotted by every bomber the Allies and Soviets had. Well out of the range of the anti-air flak guns, the Ratte would have been a sitting duck for a couple of well dropped bombs on its position. Hell, artillery would have no trouble zooming in on the target once its coordinates were given. It would have been a hell of a fight to try and take it down in close quarters though. Smaller aircraft would have fallen prey to the anti-air guns and if those big guns ever opened up on your position you'd take a hell of a beating before you finally caught up to the tank. If you got tanks close enough you could probably take out the anti-air and then any airplane could take this beast down. It would take a lot of shelling and bombs, but even this Goliath would go down.

(Private Hive sits in smoking crater where Ratte once was)

Private Hive: I guess size doesn't matter. (Plops down)

The tank was never built. While Hitler asked for the tank to begin development, his trusted architect Albert Speer haulted it. Let's explain the motivation behind this decision with Brother Blood as Speer and Control Freak as his continuing role as a chief German Scientists.

Bro. Blood (Speer): Let me get this straight, Hitler asked you to make the biggest tank in world. So big that it would have to be given a whole new class of 'landkreuzer', force us to give up production of several more practical tanks, bankrupt the economy and probably set us back to the dark ages.

Control Freak: Yep, but at least we get a cool tank out of it.

Bro Blood (Speer): (Long pause) Sometimes I think I'm the only sane person here.

Speer's sincerity of his confession to his crimes at Nuremburg has come into question over the years. Whether he confessed to escape the hangman's noose or because he had really come to the realization that he was working for a mad man and admited his wrong doing so he could deal with that guilt is still debated. Still, he was probably one of the few people that could contradict Hitler's direct orders and not get shot, as long as it had to do with building something. His decision to cancel the Ratte though proves he wasn't as irrational and crazy as Hitler himself. But the cancelling of the Ratte didn't stop Germans from putting naval guns on tanks. The Sturmtiger was a late in the war produced tank and a very shoddy one at that. It was essentially a 38cm naval motar gun attached to a battle damaged Tiger tank.

Raven: Damaged tanks? Okay now things are just getting sad.

Red Star: Tell me about it. You never faced this kinda problem in Russia. The T-34 kicked ass! Once we got in that bigger gun of course.

Raven: I still need to find Timmy, you'd think he'd be easy to spot in a giant tank.

(Timmy breaks through the trees in the Ratte and fires the two big guns, an explosion sounds soon after)

Timmy: I blew up the dentist office! No one will tell me to brush my teeth ever again!

Raven: Timmy no! Bad boy! Very Bad!

(Timmy waters at the eyes and cries as Raven pulls him from tank)

Raven: He needs a time out, keep going GR.

Thank you, now where were we?

Red Star: The Sturmtigers.

Oh right, so let's continue.

Sturmtiger's were rare, only 18 ever built. Because of this the only known footage of the Sturmtiger in action was at the Warsaw Uprising. (And for clarification that was the second Uprising in August of 1944 fought by the Polish Underground, not the Warsaw GHETTO Uprising that was fought by Jews in the Warsaw Ghetto who decided they weren't just gonna stand around and wait to get gassed by the Nazis.) Sturmtigers were very hard to destroy with their 150mm armour, but mechanical failures forced many of the crews to abandon the tanks. They were used mainly for the defense of Germany from the Western Allies, but were largely ineffective at stopping their advance. The Sturmtigers were a testament to both Germany's ingenuvity as well as their desperation in the closing months of the war.

-----------------

Outskirts of the German town Oberstborn, 761st Tank Battalion's position.

Victor had gotten his reinforcements and was told to attack the German held postion at Oberstborn, a German town near his breech in the Sigfried line. It was part of a coordinated attack by all the allies to bust through as many pocket in the sigfried line as possible to get to the Elbe before the Germans destroyed their bridges and cut off the Heartland of Germany. As Victor's tanks began pushing the small amount of defending German troops back into the town though the battle shifted. Blasting out from the nearby forest came several heavy shells that battered his position. Victor was forced to pull back his men before they were all slaughtered. Hawkins and his Tortoise tank remained at the rear and away from the shelling, they wouldn't have been much help in the main attack anyway, with them being so slow. Knew for certain something wa sin that forest and it was keeping the town from being overun. Vic knew that if they didn't take the town there would be a gap in the frontline that the German could exploit. He needed to silence whatever it was that was trying to kill his men. Problem was he didn't know what was shooting at them. He reported the problems back to command.

"Oberstborn is not taken, I repeat not taken." He said calmly over the radio as the fighting continued around him. Howitzers were pounding the town and trying to get a fixed target on whatever was in the forest shooting at them. "We have some kind of german artillery battery in the woods north of out position. We can see smoke coming up from the treeline and can hear the blasts all the way from here. Its like a ship is firing at us or something."

"Understood Commander, we read you loud and clear." Command came back a few minutes later "just sit tight right there. Hold off the attack until morning. Do not attempt to engage the enemy in the woods. Hold your positions and stay as far away from those tree as you can. I repeat do not go into the woods until we can better assess the situation."

"Why? What the hell am I facing over here?!" Vic demanded to know

"It another one of Hitler's super weapons, a Landkruezer type." Command said "Possibly a Ratte."

"A Ratte!" Vic shouted in astonishment "I thought those were a myth!"

"They're really commander." the radio said "So I suggest keep your men back until morning. We've already sent word to the OSS, they're sending in someone to help you out."

"Well he better get here soon." Vic told command "Cause if what you're telling me is true I don't want to be around here much longer."

Vic turned off the Radio, angry at the whole situation. He heard of Rattes, giant overgrown tankss with naval guns and engines and more fire power then you could handle. He did not like this, not one bit at all.

"Whoever they're sending in better be good." Vic said

Hours later, when the sun was just peeking over the horizon a lone C-47 cargo plane passed over the Tank battalion's head. Out jumped four parachutes, landing in a field not far behind Vic's tank. It had to be the OSS operative. He rushed over with two of his tanks to meet the men who had jumped out. There in the field were three gruff looking American GIs, helmets unsecured and covered in camoflage foiliage. The fourth man in the field was less buff then his compatriots and somewhat shorter then them too. He also wore a loose fitting helmet that barely covvered his blonde hair, messily sticking out the sides. The helmet also bore the one bar symboling he was a Lieutenant. He like the others were packed with heavy amounts of gear and equipment on their backs and all armed with Thompsons and BAR machine guns. The shorter blonde lieutenant approached Victor first and saluted.

"Lieutenant Logan of the Office of Strategic Actions, sir! Here on orders to locate and eliminate German Landkreuzer class Ratte, sir!"

"Quit calling me sir." Vic asked the LT politely.

"Sorry," he said "standard protocol. Can't be helped."

"Why the hell did they send you and your friends anyway?" Vic asked "Why not just call in bombers to blast that thing to kingdom come. I heard its big enough."

"I've been tracking Hitler's secret weapon's projects since the start of this war commander." Logan explained "Been shipped from one place to the next trying to keep them from destroying the Allied war effort. I managed to locate and destroy one Ratte before during the Italy campaign in late 1943. Prototype version, not as well armoured as the new ones. Me and my men are more then qualified for the mission. Also, most high level bombers are too busy conducting bombing raids over the Heartland of Germany. The good news is though that we have enough C-4 here to blow the thing wide open, if we can get inside."

"Wonderful." Vic said "That just means we're gonna have to find some way to breakthrough to the damn thing while it shells us to pieces."

"Your tanks pose too much of a target." Logan told him "And even if we got most of you through its escort would finish off the rest of you and fast."

"So what do we do?" Victor asked

"Command has diverted a small squad of Pershing tanks from up the road to converge on the Ratte's position." Logan said "While they draw the escorting vehicles fire we'll drive up and take the Ratte by surprise while it tries to deal with the new threat. Me and my men will get inside, plant the charge in the ammunition room and get out."

"I'll get a few of my tanks together so we can back you up." Vic said "Hopefully your plan works out okay."

"Actually," Logan admited "its not my plan. Command just laid out the plan for me to repeat you see. I'm just here to carry it out."

Vic was suddenly not so confident in this mission. The agent they sent was short for starters, but now he was telling him that he hadn't even drafted his own battle plan? This wasn't sounding good.

"It worked in a similar situation in Italy." Logan assured the obviously worried Vic.

Victor didn't have any choice, they needed to get into town and fast, there was no time to question anyone's abilities here.

"I hope you know what you're doing shorty." Vic said as he got his tank to back up.

Logan sat there frowning as his men snorted behind his back.

"How come that is always the first thing everyone says?" He asked himself "I mean, do they really expect all OSS operatives to be tall handsome super spies! Geez!" He quickly turned back to his snorting men "Knock it off already!" he ordered, they immedietly stopped. "Come on, we got a Nazi Super Tank to destroy."

A few minutes later, Victor had rounded up four other tanks to charge with him into the forest. Logan and his squad would ride ontop of his tank and move up to the trees as soon as they got word that the Pershings were engaging the enemy's position. A signal flare went up behind the forest and explosions started to sound.

"Thats the Pershings." Logan said "We better move."

"Hang on then." Vic said and he closed the hatch.

The Sherman lunged forward, as did the other tanks. They made their way to the forest as fasty as they could go. Passing large holes in the ground made by the Ratte's shelling. They were about to hit the tree line when three small shapes lurched out of the woods. They were boxed like scruffy looking tanks by the look of them.

"Sturmtigers!" Vic shouted over the radio "Everyone look out!"

The lead Sturmtiger fired its large Motar round at them, missing one of the tanks by inches.

"Those must be some of the Ratte's escort tanks." Logan said "The Pershing must've not drawn all of them towards them."

Logan noticed something else about the ugly little tanks as well.

"They're sticking to the treeline!" He shouted "That means-"

He was cut short by a loud blast from the forest and a flash from within the trees.

"The Ratte, its firing!"

A large explosion smacked straight in front of the Shermans, creating a huge hole right in front of them.

"Break formation and go around!" Vic yelled.

The Shermans continued to move forward, despite the Sturmtigers and the Ratte firing at them. The shells came within inches of striking them. Were there more of them out there they would have lost several tanks by now. But because the Shermans weren't in a large formation they were able to manuveur more easily and dodge the incoming Sturmtiger fire. The Ratte was trying to strike them all at once though and it was harder to predict where the next shell would fall. Suddenly two Shermans exploded as a single Ratte shell slammed into the ground.

"Ah hell no!" Vic screamed "That thing just took out two of out tanks in one hit! How the hell are we gonna beat this thing?"

"Don't worry," Logan assured "just get us past those Sturmtigers and we'll take care of it."

Vic listened and had his two Remaining Shermans open fire on the Sturmtigers. They took a heavy licking, not even flinching as the Sherman rounds hit them. These Mortar tanks looked ugly but they could sure as hell take a punch. With their rounds not penetrating the Sturmtigers' armour, Vic needed to think of something fast. He had the gunner fire at the the Sturmtiger's chassis instead. He was happy to see that the round had actually penetrated the tank's armour there. He remembered these sturmtigers were made from battle damaged Tigers, maybe that meant the armour was weaker there. He fired again at the same spot his Sherman hit and the Sturmtiger began to smoke. Soon he noticed a fire sprouting up from behind the tank and it suddenly exploded. The other two Sturmtigers now back off and went slowly back into the treeline. The two other Shermans concentrated their fire on one of the retreating tanks and hit its treads. Unable to move anymore on oneside, the Tank spun around revealing its weaker backside and another sherman round penetrated it. Now there was only one Sturmtiger left as the entered the tree line. Logan saw that Vic's tank was getting close to it. He knocked on the hatch and called down to Vic.

"Commander!" He shouted "Get us alongside it!"

Vic obliged and brought the Tank next to the Sturmtiger. Unable to fire at this close a range, Logan quickly took out a hand grenade, pulled the pin and stuffed it down the gun of the Sturmtiger as they passed it. A few seconds later the gun exploded and the tank stopped moving. The Sturmtiger's incapacitated, the remaining three shermans with Logan's team onboard pressed on through to the Ratte. When they arrived Victor was amazed by the sight. The Ratte stood high above them, just barely cloaked by the forest treeline. The huge gun naval gun over their heads was massive in its self and directly behind it were two quad flak cannons pivoting around searching for enemy aircraft. Then, as Vic had the driver get close to the front of the Ratte, he noticed the large anti-tank gun at the front aiming at him and he immedietly had the driver make a wide turn before they got hit. Suddenly a machine opened up on them. Logan's team dived off the top of the Sherman and hid behind it like a sheild from the bullets. Vic's tank fired on machine gun turret to little avail. The Quad cannon tured itself down and tried firing at him. Vic's gunner hit the cannon square on, destroying it. Vic pulled along side the end of the Ratte and Logan's team climbed back on the Sherman.

"Okay," Vic said "get in and blow this sucker." He demanded

"With pleasure Commander." Logan replied

Logan's team pulled out a ladder they had attached to the side of Vic's tank and placed it up against the Ratte. They began to climb up the beast and as soon as they were all on top of the chassis of it Vic pulled away. The second Quad flak operator saw them and tried to use his gun against them. Logan fired off a few rounds rounds from his BAR and took out the gunner.

"Aright, lets go." he told his men.

The small commando team made their way over to a hatch on the back of the vehicle. They quickly unscrewed the hatch and tossed a grenade in, hoping to kill however was trying to pop up and stop them from completing the mission. Once it exploded they reopened the hatch and went inside. The inside of the Ratte looked like the inworkings of a ship, with several guardrails and stairways leading everywhere. From the looks of the massive engine churnning below them they were in the engine room of the vehicle, they needed to find the ammunition room, most likely below the turret.

"We need to get to the front of this monster, come on." Logan ordered.

They were soon fired upon by German soldiers working the engine room. Bullets ricocheted all around them as the squad fired back at the Germans from below and across from them. They bursted out of the engine room and into one of the many halls of the Ratte. German soldiers tried to hault their advance as they made their way through the vehicle. Logan fired off a few round from his Thompson that took out one of the crew members firing back them from across the hall. He saw a few more Germans spring out from behind a corner and he chucked a grenade their way. It exploded and sent them all flying into the wall.

"Keep moving come on!" He shouted

Outside Vic and his Shermans were patroling around the Ratte when it suddenly lurched forward. Not wanting to get crushed by the massive vehicle he ordered his men to fall back as it began to crash down nearby trees. It was exiting the forest, heading towards his men stationed back at the front of the village. He fired some rounds at the goliath tank, but to no avail.

"Its all on that short lieutenant now." Vic said

Inside the Ratte, Logan's squad followed the signs down to the lower levels of the vehicle. Firing at the Germans who opposed them along the way. One German suddenly jumped out and tried to knife Logan, but he quickly kicked him away and shot him. The sudden pause in the action afterwards alerted Logan to the fact the tank was no longer stationary.

"The Ratte's on the move." He said turning to his men "We need to blow this thing up and fast!"

As they busted through one final door they found themselves in the ammunition magazine room of the Ratte. Two German crewman were there, placing shells in a giant lift machine, obviously they were the ammo loaders who were putting in the shells for the heavy naval gun above them. When the German saw them and they pulled out their lugers to defend themselves but Logan's team quickly took them both out before they fired off a shot.

"Quick, plant the charges and lets get out of here." Logan ordered.

The men quickly set up their charges all around the ammunition magazine room. They quickly set the charges for five minutes, they'd have till then to get out of the Ratte. Logan set the final charge and they all started the timers.

"Okay lets get out of here." Logan shouted.

Everyone quickly left the room and made their way out of the magazine and back up the way they came.

The Ratte crashed through the trees of the forest and made its way along the charred field towards the Allied position at the outskirts of the village. Vic and his men fired as many rounds as they could but the Ratte would not stop. It fired a salvo that nearly hit the Allied tanks yards away from them. Vic knew they couldn't stop the thing. Then Vic spied four figures on the top of the tank. It was Logan and his men.

"Everyone get back!" Victor shouted, "Its gonna blow!"

The shermans pulled off from the Ratte while Logan and his men jumped off the side of the doomed mega-tank. They all landed with a thud on the ground, but they quickly got up and ran as fast they could away from the vehicle. Logan looked at his watch.

"The charges should blow right about-"

There was a large kaboom as the tank lurched up at its front, the Turret flying off the tank and into the air as a fire ball exploded from underneath it. The Turret came down almost on top of Vic's shermans and they quickly pulled back as the the large machine's weapon smashed into the ground before them, kicking up dirt and covering them with it. After a brief pause, Vic shouted a victory cry over the radio.

"Booyah!" He said "Thats how you kill a monster tank like that! Remind me to give that short Lieutenant my regards."

As Logan and his men rushed up to Victor's tank squad and past the burning carnage, he couldn't help but feel proud of himself.

"Heh," he said looking at his men "we just cost the Nazis a million Reichsmarks. Thats something to smile about."

Victor's tank pulled up to Logan. The tank commander poked his head out of the hatch and smiled.

"Well you guys certainly put on a show don't you?" Vic said "But now comes the hard part, we got to take the town. You gonna stay and watch us make the Krauts cry all the way back to Berlin?"

"As a matter of fact thats another reason I was sent here." Logan explained "Find out why the Germans would use such a big vehicle to defend a small border town. It just doesn't make any sense."

"When does anything Hitler do make sense?" Vic asked "Hell he built this thing, thats already proof enough he's loony." Vic pointed at the smoking remains of the Ratte.

"Its way too overkill," Logan told him "if this Ratte was at Berlin or further into Germany it would make sense, but the Nazis would never sacrafice a wonder weapon to protect something of no strategic value. This is just a little border town, barely any military bases or production facilities insight. Why not anywhere else on the front guarding more important factories, camps and airfields? Hell why not on the Russian front where they're pushing up way faster? The OSS thinks they got something to hide in that town and we're gonna find out what it is."

"Well if it gives us more man power to take this town, I'm all for it." Vic said "Lets get back and rearm, we got a long fight ahead of us."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Boom goes the Sherman!

The Germans were very intuitive when it came to tank design. Expensive as they were, Tiger and Panther tanks were a force to be reckoned with. The Germans were also good at finding ways to destroy tanks better. In fact one of their more famous inventions, The Panzershreck, eventually led to the development of a third-world country weapon that was immortalized in 'Black Hawk Down', the RPG. But not before they had to steal some Bazookas and the Russians had to steal some Panzershrecks after the war to develop RPGs, so it was kind of a hot potato sort of situation with the creation of that weapon. Back to Panzershrecks, their name literally translated to Tank Terror. Which was more or less true considering their track record against Allied tanks. Of course firing an 88mm rocket off your back caused a lot of recoil and it spread a lot of exhuast around.

(Johnny Rancid fires a Panzershreck and the exhuast from the launching rocket hits him.)

Johnny: AHH! The face! It burns! The flesh singes! Someone call a plastic surgeon!

Later models featured a face plate for aiming and face protection purposes. But the recoil was never fixed.

(Johnny Rancid fires a Panzershreck and the face plate hits him on the recoil.)

Johnny: AHH! Not again! My nose! Its bleeding! Someone get a tissue! Why do you hate my face God!?!

Voice of God: Because its grey and ugly.

Johnny: Ohhhhh.

Despite its great combat record, Germany wasn't satisfied with stopping at the Panzershreck. Like all the anti-tank weapons of their day they always had a chance of veering off target or missing completely. But a new system insured that the chances of missing the tank with your rocket were downsized greatly. It was called a wire guided rocket, the laser guided missile of WWII to be precise.

Billy: Uh... how does a wire guidey thingy work there?

Its wire guided, what do you think? Fine I'll try and explain this best I can. Wire guided works like this, you can guide this missile using radio signals sent by thin wires stretched out during the projectile's flight, thereby changing its direction. You can keep it on target using a tracer or via tv screen. The Germans were working on several wire guided ideas during the war, one of which involved an anti-tank rocket known as the X-7. Thats the short name, the long name I cannot pronounce because I never took a German language class in my life.

Billy: Heh heh, you ain't smart.

This coming from a guy who asked me how a wire guided system works. Come on dude, wire guided, guided by wires, its the first thought that comes to mind.

Billy: Oh shut it, I just figured that maybe the folks at home should know what that whole deal was about anyway.

Whatever Can I get into how the X-7 works?

Billy: Fine, I'm gonna go get some corn dogs.

The X-7 was a two staged rocket, the first stage was to last 2.5 seconds going at a speed of 100 feet per second, the second phase lasted 8 seconds but maintained enough thrust to hits it target with deadly force, giving it a range of 1200 meters. It was fired from a 46 centimeter long fuselage that gave it a straight launch. Think of it as a fireworks chute you use to get Fourth of July ordanance up into the air.

(Beast Boy lights a huge rocket on a long fuselage pointing upwards)

Beast Boy: This is gonna be so sweet!

(Rocket launches and smacks into Robin's room at the T tower, exploding and destroying all his newspaper clippings.)

Robin: BEAST BOY!

Beast Boy: Well I'm off to Hong Kong, see you in six months.

The X-7 would be controlled via joystick and aimed with a tracer attached to its rear fuselage. All the launcher would have to do would be to keep the tracer on the target he or she wanted to hit. It carried a 2.5 kilogram warhead that would rip any tank wide open. Its design was that of a large oval shaped center with two large wings portruding out the sides of it giving it stable flight frame. But the weapon had a very steep learning curve with the people using it. This was before video games ever existed so we should give them a break when it comes to using a joystick to pilot and explosive rocket of death.

Control Freak: Fire!

(Rocket fires out of shaft and 5 seconds later slams into the ground and explodes.)

Control Freak: The hell was that!

Private Hive: Oh give me a break, 'DOOM' is over 40 years away! I don't know crap about tracers and joysticks!

Control Freak: Very well then, we'll just have to go forward in time and steal some arcade games. Quick, Gizmo, build us a Flux Capacitor!

Doctor Emmet Brown: Great Scott!

Gizmo: Dude, everyone knows a Flux capacitor only works on DeLoreans. We don't have anything in Germany that looks that cool.

Control Freak: What about the Volkswagen Beetle?

Gizmo: You're joking right? Herbie the Time Traveling Love Bug? Do you want to increase the chances of a sequel starring Lindsay Lohan?

Control Freak: No.

Gizmo: Then deal with it, besides the whole time travelling Nazis theme has been done to death in a thousand some odd B-movies. That and the preservation of Hitler's Brain, which we tried... it failed horribly.

(Rewind to 1945)

German Surgeon: (Holds Brain) It feels so moist and mushy.

German Scientist: Quick get it in the containment field!

(Surgeon puts the brain in a jar of pickle brine)

German Surgeon: You sure this is gonna work?

German Scientist: Of course it will I'm a scientist!

(62 years later, Gizmo opens the jar on set and the brain falls out shrivelled and dead)

Gizmo: Told you, didn't work out so well.

Old German Scientist: Meh, you win some you lose some.

With that long and confusing sketch out of the way lets look at why the X-7 did not get put on the battlefield. Several tests had the X-7 rockets crashing into the ground and exploding before reaching their targets. Which was at some point in the above sketch explained, but you may have been lost in the video games, time travel, Lindsay Lohan and B-Movie plot jokes skewed throughout so we're reiterating that point. Even with the steep learning curve of the X-7, there was still a trial production run. In fact some people claim it was even used in combat on the Eastern Front. But then again we have claims of all kinds of stupid illogical weapons being used in the war. Example: Nazi driven UFOs... although that would make a cool movie.

Announcer: They came from the Rhineland to strike fear in the hearts of all Free people and destroy all things they held dear!

(Laser beam blows up Washington Monument)

Announcer: Brace yourself for... THE ATTACK OF THE NAZI FLYING SAUCERS!

(Several UFO's with swastikas over them fly around Washington blowing stuff up)

Announcer: All of them piloted and controlled by a single organism... HITLER'S BRAIN!

(Hitler's Brain inside a pickle jar attached to a machine with lots of wires sticking out of it.)

Nazi 1: How do we know its him?

Nazi 2: I drew a little mustache on his pickle jar.

(Indeed there is a mustache on the pickle jar)

Announcer: Only America's most slack jawed overly patriotic heroes can save us!

Robin: ME!

Announcer: Hell no, I was talking about Superman and Captain America.

Robin: Oh this is bullcrap.

(Captain America and Superman start destroying Nazi UFOs)

Captain America: Beware my shield mutherf--kers! (Throws shield and blows up several UFO's in a hail of white, blue and red fireworks.)

(Superman uses his super breath to blow one of the UFOs into the IRS building)

Civilians: HOORAY!

IRS Agent: Oh, go to hell all of you.

Announcer: Don't miss... THE ATTACK OF THE NAZI FLYING SAUCERS! Starring Nicholas Cage as Fu Manchu!

Nicholas Cage: Chong Chi-hung Choi! HAAA HA HA HA HA!

Raven: I think we've veared off target enough for one chapter General Rage.

Oh you're no fun. Anyway, since the rocket was ready by 1943 it could have easily entered production. With the steep learning curve it would take time for most crews to get us to the idea of wire-guided rocket but eventually, like the panzershreck, it would have been an effective tool against the Allies. Successful enough to win the war... doubtful. Its long range would have been useful mainly for long dragged out assaults in open fields where that range mattered, but in close quarters it would have been dangerous to fire. Also it wasn't an easy weapon to lug around, but do not underestimate it, if deployed to the Eastern Front far more Russian lives would have been lost in that war. Their numbers would have eventually overrun the X-7 gunners positions, but at a heavy price.

Raven: Can we please get to the story?

Not even one more sidetrack?

Raven: No, no more stupid B-movies.

How about a Flash Gordon parody? You can be the damsel and Beast Boy can be Flash.

Raven: We don't do role play.

Fine, you're missing out.

---------------------

The Allied tanks pressed onward into the town of Oberstborn, the day now at a few minutes past noon. The head tank on point as always was Victor Stone's command vehicle, behind him his own tanks and at the rear Hawkins and his slow moving tortoise tanks, which barely fit through the narrow streets. Luckily, the Shermans were far more spread out through the village, so jams in traffic wouldn't be too bad... as long as things went according to plan. Lieutenant Logan sat on one of the middle tanks, keeping his eyes out for any possible enemy activity. He was joined by a platoon of Allied infantry pushing up with the tanks and through the town. Suddenly an explosion nearly struck one of the lead tanks in the column. A panzaershreck missile no doubt. Logan and the other GIs quickly dove off the tanks and ran to cover. German anti-tank squad were above them firing down at the tanks. One of the Shermans took a nasty hit to the turret. Another Sherman avenged it, firing a round straight into the building where the rocket has fired from. The explosion blasted apart half the roof and obliterated the window and surrounding wall.

"Well thats one dead German." Logan said "You'd think these guys would have all bolted by now with the Ratte blown."

Most of the German soldiers left in the village kept up a sporadic resitance wherever the tanks went. It was poor, with the exception of Panzerscrheck teams firing from alleyways and windows. As Victor's men blasted their way through to the town swuare Logan took a different approach with the Infantry. Following a small unit of soldiers they made their through the broken and ruined houses soon after the first ambush had compromised their safety with the tanks. Explosions and gun fire was heard around them as they made their way through the remains of German town. There were only a few Germans here and there and no enemy armour was present. Only these people were left, but they certainly weren't enough to keep the town secured, why were they even trying? Did they not see the town was lost?

The thought was pushed out of Logan's mind when another Panzershreck team fired on them from a window. Logan ducked away from the rocket and it hit a still intact Barber shop sign instead. An infantry man, with rifle grenade loaded ontop of his M1, fired into the open window. The blank shot launched the grenade from the rifle and into the window, killing the Panzershreck team that fired at them. Logan and the GIs kept moving.

Victor's tanks edged closer to the town square and could now see a small church with two very high steeples. But the building soon revealed an unholy purpose as two rockets blasted out from them. They were still over two blocks away, too far for any Panzershreck to hit. The speed of these rockets however told Vic these weren't Panzerschrecks.

"Move it! Move it!" He ordered his men.

The men obliged and turned the tank around a nearby corner. Another Tank tried to avoid the rockets by moving away from their trajectory, but suddenly one of the rockets turned and hit the Sherman square on, blowing it up. The second rocket also turned after Victor and in to the tight corner. It luckily missed the tank when it slammed into a small house, but the explosion practically leveled the roof of the building.

"How the hell did it do that?!" Vic said "Rockets aren't that accurate, especially from that far away. Its like its got a mind of its own."

Victor then remembered a rumour he heard, Russian tanks getting hit by fast turning rocket on the Eastern Front, something designated the X-7. And now that was probably what he was up against.

"Great, anti-tank rockets that can chase you." Vic said "This is gonna make manuvering tight unless we take those things out."

The Sherman guns couldn't hit the target, but lucky for them they had someone who could. Just minutes after the first few rockets were fired from the steeple, Hawkin's Tortoise tank showed its over grown head around the corner. Slightly faster now on a paved road it made its way into firing position against the steeples. An X-7 lauinched straight at it, but the thick armour repulsed the heavy explosion.

"You're gonna have to hit harder then that Jerry!" Shouted Hawkins over the radio

The Tortoise aimed at the left steeple and fired square at it. The long range gun it carried blew the anti-tank position square out of the sky.

"I do hope the good lord will forgive me for that." Hawkins said once more over the radio.

Another Rocket launched a few seconds later, but as it flew towards them the Tortoise had repostioned its gun and fired at the second steeple. It exploded, and the Rocket suddenly shifted course and slammed harmlessly into another building blowing the first floor of it clean off. Hawkins would now lead the slow charge into the square with Victor taking up his behind. They neared the church and sloly but surely the fighting began to slow down.

It didn't slow down fast enough for Lieutenant Logan however, he had gone ahead of Victor's assualt and was already past the Town Square. He and the infantry had left the tanks behind to search and destroy anymore anti-tank teams and German soldiers. They came across a Machine Gun nest that fired upon them from a burnt out bar down the street. Two GIs were gunned down as Logan took up refuge behind a broken down car.

"We need to flank it." He said to two men behind him "Follow me."

Logan kicked down the door of a nearby house and rushed up the stairs. Logan saw a German jump up from behind a chair as they entered the room and sprayed him with Thompson machine gun fire. They then made their way to a window overlooking the machine gun. Logan fired a few rounds down at the German killing him. The pathway down the street was clear.

Logan returned the way he came and the GIs ran forward down the street to the taken out machine gun. As Logan ran a motorcycle with a passenger car pulled up to him.

"Say, you're that agent from the OSS right?" The driver asked

"How'd you know?" Logan asked back.

"Well besides the name tag on your uniform saying OSS," the driver said "you're shorter then most regular GIs."

"When will everyone stop mentioning that?" Logan asked himself

"Listen" the driver continued "My squad spotted a German bunker at the edge of town. Looks like a lot of Germans are headed that way. Probably going to try using it as a strongpoint to try and stop the advance. We got a whole bunch of men headed there right now to take it out, I think we could use your help."

A bunker here? That was weird, only really important strategic points on the map got bunkers. This only hightened Logan's suspicions that something was going on here.

"You got it," Logan said hoping in the passenger seat and cocking his Thompson sub-machine gun "you drive and I'll cover you."

The motorcycle sped off down the road and towards the bunker. German soldiers were running out of building taking shots at them now and then. Logan kept firing at them, trying to cover the bike. A panzerschreck or two popped out from ana alley way and fired straight at them. The motorcycle swerved to avoid the shots.

"Was it this bad last time you were down here?" Logan asked

"Sorry," the driver said "must've took the wrong road."

"Well get us back on the right one then!" Logan ordered

As they turned a corner they saw a terrible sight, a large Sturmtiger tank staring them in the face.

"Oh crap." Logan said

The tank aimed straight at them.

"RIGHT!" Logan demanded

The motocycle turned right at the crossroad before the tank just as it fired its payload. Finally, they reached the German bunker and saw the American Soldiers firing on it. The motorcycle stopped at the corner of the street and Logan jumped off. He headed towards the bunker firing on the Germans popping their heads out.

"Now to find out whats going on in this town." Logan said "If I'm thinking right, whatever is in that bunker is what makes this town so important to the Germans."

It wasn't a large bunker, just had a machine gun nest firing at the troops across the road. Logan fixed that problem, he flung a smoke grenade at the bunker. It went off and blanketed the building in a cloud. The soldiers charged the bunker busted their way in. Logan was one of the first. Coughing Germans spewed out from corners trying to take pot shots at the Americans, but to no avail. Soon the bunker was over-run. But the battle was not over. As the smoke cleared, Logan saw the Sturmtiger pulling up close to the bunker ready to fire. It didn't look good. Suddenly the Tank exploded before it could fire, Victor's Sherman pulled up from behind the dead Sturmtiger soon after, its gun smoking.

"Now I owe him one." Logan thought.

As the fighting calmed down, Logan descended into the deep reaches of the bunker. He and the GIs located an armoury room filled with X-7 rockets and their launchers. A good find, something to send back to headquarters for analyze. Still, not exactly ground breaking enough to defend so fanatically. Then Logan came to the officer's headquater and found something lying on the table along with several other files. They detailed massive shipments of weapons further into the Fatherland, coordinates to several remote places in Northen Germany, order forms for dozens of materials to factories in Berlin. Why the hell was all of this intel inside this little town?

It was then that Logan was called back to the armoury as the GIs had discovered a door behind several large crates. Going through it they found a large underground facilty, filled to the brim with tanks, guns, rockets and aircraft.

"Its storehouse." Logan said "Its where they've been keeping most of their equipment and weapons. They weren't trying to hold the town, they were trying to stall us long enough to get it all out of here. Question is where the hell were they sending it too."

Logan guessed it was wherever those coordinates and shipment manifestos were sending them before they showed up. Logan would have to report back to his superiors about all this and send a group of army engineers to either confiscate or destroy the left behind weapons and equipment. But he figured that this was leading to something big and he didn't like it.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: The Me 262's Family Tree

One of the biggest blundering buffoons in WWII history was Herman Goering. A veteran of the First World War, Goering became Hitler's second in command and was put in charge of the Luftwaffe, Nazi Germany's Air Force. However after proving his airplanes and pilots valuable in the early days of the blitzkrieg he quickly went down hill from there. His men failed to break the spirit of the RAF during the Battle of Britian when they successfully kept his planes from getting air superiority. It was a close call, but the English managed to keep their island safe from Nazi domination of the air, as well as the next obvious step invasion. After that Goering's Luftwaffe lost favour with Hitler and when the Allies landed in Normandy soon lost all capacity to wage war. Goering was outraged at his pilots, called them cowards, idiots, weaklings and failures. He even sent them records telling wounded pilots how useless they were. Of course this gave the pilots the rare opportunity to tell Goering where to stick it and not get in trouble for it.

(Red X shoots record with a pistol while sitting in his hospital bed)

Red X: Oh I'm sorry Herr Reichsfuhrer I didn't mean to destroy your little rant, its just that... well I just wanted to prove to myself that I could still shoot while I'm sick. Also, I couldn't pass up the opportunity to shoot a bullet thrhough that oversized head of yours.

Worse, Goering had no concept of what the future of air combat was. The Me 262 almost never saw any combat service in WWII because he dismissed it as a toy, he didn't even consider that this aircraft was the start of new area in the history of Aviation. 262 was also the end product of a long line of jet fighter aircraft that the Germans had been testing since they first realised the Jet Engine's potential as a possible weapon. So lets look at the 262's ancestors and see where the Germans had planned to go next.

Robin: We're actually going to document every Jet-aircraft they had planned to build?

No, just the ones that they were close to building. Some of them are cool... others kinda lame... from a pilot's stand point.

Robin: Why you say that?

I'll explain in a second, for now lets look at the beginning of German Jet Fighter Technology. Before its start, Germany had tried out the idea of Rocket aircraft, culminating in some incredibly unsafe vehicles.Think of it this way, strapping rockets to your plane... stupid idea.

(GIR inside a plane strapped to rockets)

GIR: I'm an Astronaut!

Robin: This gives me some kind of sick joy. (Presses button)

(Plane blasts off into the sky and explodes soon afterwards, GIR falls down in pieces soon after, head lands at Robin's feet)

GIR: YAY! Again!

Robin: High tolerance for pain this one.

Rocket planes were extremely difficult to land, sometimes even more dangerous then actually flying the plane, which inevitable led them to another use in the War in Europe but thats for another chapter. A jet engine and a rocket plane are two totally different planes and to include specs for both in this chapter would be silly. So fans of the Komet Rocket Plane, please remain calm, we're getting to you.

WWII buff: Aww, man.

Lets get back to Germany's Jet Aircraft now and see where it all began.

Robin: Flashback time!

It all started with Hans Von Ohain when he created the turbojet engine, the grand-daddy of all jet engines.

(GIR looks at Turbojet)

GIR: (Long Pause) Grandpa!

It's gas powered turbines took in air through its inlet, then the air was compressed in a chamber, before it was heated. This combusted air was then allowed to expand out the back of the engine creating a forward thrust. Meaning, so long as the plane had fuel and air in front of it, it could keep sucking in and blasting out air fast enough to outrun any prop-plane of the era.

(GIR takes Turbojet's exhaust blast straight to the face)

GIR: YAY! IT BURNS!

The Germany's Arms Manufacturers quickly saw the potential of using these engines to make planes faster and thus out fly their enemies, the idea was especially liked by arms manufacturer Ernst Heinkel and his company. Before the war they designed, built and test flew the first turbojet aircraft, the Heinkel He 178, succesfully flying it in August of 1939. Unfortunately when shown before conservative military officers in the Luftwaffe at the time they expressed no interest. Why have a jet plane when regular prop planes worked fine.

Robin: Idiots.

Let's not be too hard on them, this was years before the movie top gun came out remember? They had no idea what they were looking at.

Robin: I still think they're idiots.

Heinkel's company wasn't willing to give up, and they set their sights on making new jet fighters. The Heinkel He 280 was born over the next few years. It was poorly underfunded by the German government and production never got off the ground. It was unable to breakthrough to the Luftwaffe that jet fighters were a valuable weapon. They just didn't get the design...

Bro. Blood: Where's the Propellor?

Control Freak: It doesn't need one, its has jet engines.

Bro Blood: But where's the propellor?

Control Freak: Why the hell would we need a propellor on a jet plane!

Bro. Blood: I'm sorry, despite the fact its super fast and futuristic the plane doesn't interest me. I just can't picture a plane without a propellor. See ya. (Walks off)

Control Freak: Fine! Go ahead! Waste your time in the past! I'm looking to the future of air combat you peon! (Mumbling) Bastard.

Eventually the He 280 and its jet fighter premise were accepted as a good idea... unfortunately the project was cancelled because of another aircraft, the Me 262, was seen as a superior fighting vehicle. Had they listened to Heinkel at first, they could have had jet fighters fighting over London in 1940. Thank god for their lack of foresight. Ernst Heinkel remained developing mainly bombers for the rest of the war, a job he hated and complained about till his death.

Heinkel: Don't you understand Control Freak, I could've been a contender! I could've been somebody! Instead of a bum... a disgrace. (Starts crying into hands)

(Control Freak is... pardon pun, freaked out by all this)

Control Freak: Oh look this is my stop. (Opens door of Taxi and jumps out)

Heinkel: Hey wait! (Sees Control Freak getting up and running off) Shoot, oh well. Driver, take me to the nearest bar. I need to drown my sorrows.

Heinkel eventually did get one of their jet fighters into the air, the He 162 became the second jet fighter to be used by the Luftwaffe, it was a single engined aircraft that was essentially attached to the top of the plane's fuselage. They came into action on the 19th of April of 1945 and by that time the war was all but lost for Germany. Problems in the 162 were present in its rushed production and not its design. Its rushed production caused flame outs and crashes, losing thriteen planes and 10 pilots overall. Heinkel's only successful jet fighter contribution was too late to do anything of use.

Robin: I'd feel sorry for the guy... if it weren't for the fact that if he had gotten what he wanted the Allies would have been screwed in the proverbial pooch.

Well Britian was making its own Jet Fighters at the same time as Heinkel, it flew its first successful jet fighter, the Gloster E.28/39 in May of 1941. It could have gotten out more jet fighters even faster if they were given more funding as well. However that history would never be, everyone back then loved propellors too much.

Robin: Still glad that Germany didn't get the jets in the air till late in the war.

We now leave the sad tale of Ernst Heinkel and enter the new quest by Germany's airplane builders to make a jet fighter that could help the Luftwaffe get control of the skies. Taking the design of the 126, the Germans developed the Henschel Hs 132, a jet dive bomber. It was meant to go at 500 mph, making it difficult to track by Allied anti-air positions. The soviet army however overun the facilty before it could be tested, and they were so close too.

(Bad Guys stand in front of the prototype for the 132)

Gizmo: Alright lets take this baby for a spin guys.

(Red Star busts down the door an fires a whole clip of bullets into the prototype and hitting its engine causing it to explode. Gizmo gets back to his feet and rushes over to Red Star.)

Gizmo: The hell was that for!

Red Star: I wanted to see stuff explode... DUH!

Gizmo: This isn't fair! You could have at least let us test it out first.

Red Star: Nah, this was way more enjoyable.

Gizmo: I hate you.

Other airplanes never even got off the design table, the Focke-Wulf Ta 183 was designed to be an oval shaped fuselage airplane with a very long v-tail sticking up and out of it. It was much like the design for the Komet... only not life threating.

Robin: So what stopped Germany from building it?

Very high aspirations, essentially they kept arguing about how to get the design right... that and they were lazy.

Control Freak: Hey guys, we gotta get to work on that new jet fighter.

Billy: Nah, I feel like listening to old time radio.

Fang: I'm too bored to work.

Killer Moth: I'm working on my insect collection.

Atlas: I require more oil, I shall back when I no longer thirst. (Leaves room) No one touch my stuff.

(Billy gets up off of couch)

Billy: I'm gonna go touch his stuff.

Fang: Oh can I join!?

Billy: Sure!

(Both leave and Control Freak is pissed)

Control Freak: Great now we'll never get anything done... I'm gonna go have an ice cream, this place sucks.

Killer Moth: What about the plane?

Control Freak: Oh go to hell.

So the Focke-Wulf jet plane was never built, others however managed to get closer to development.The Messerschmitt Me P.1101 was an aircraft was one of those, a swing aircraft that would go at 612 mph. It was to be the second generation of jet fighters for Germany, but only got as far as the prototype stage before war's end. It was also developed too late to join the Luftwaffe.

Robin: I'm sensing a pattern here.

Many of Germany's secret weapons projects were developed late in the war in acts of desperation and attempts to create some new weapon that would turn the tide of war. It helped the Allies greatly, Hitler was so focused on producing new jet aircraft he left his already proven prop airplanes in the dust. The 262 was a good aircraft, but by using them for vengeance tactics that would produce no military gains and only civilian casualties, Hitler was wasting precious resources. If V2 rockets and Jet fighters were used primarily against the Soviet and Allied military he could have kept the war going on longer. The 262 was a better at taking on Allied bombers then it was at the purpose Hitler wanted it for, to pay the Allies back for everything they had done to him. And still, if the Germans had just kept producing prop planes that were easy to replace and easily fueled they could have accomplished the task of keeping out Allied bombers just as well.

Robin: So the 262 was a waste of resources at the time it was made, we know that. You explained it last time when you cited that there wasn't much fuel available for it or trained pilots to fly it. But geez, are you telling me it was the only jet fighter to actually see some success in the war?

Pretty much.

Robin: God, what a waste. So were there any other jets that even had the remote chance of being put into service along side the 262?

Just one bird brain, the (Smirk) Horten Ho (Smirk) 229, ... pft god that name is priceless!

Robin: Why?

Oh nothing, nothing, just... Horten... Ho! HA HA! God what next? The Focke-wulf Pimp? HA! HA!

Robin: I really don't get it.

Thats because you're gay.

Robin: Oh shut up.

Anyway the Ho (Smirk) 229, was a revolutionary designed aircraft with a very... sultry name if you will. (Smirk)

Robin: You done?

No, its just too easy. The Ho (Smirk) was developed in the 1930's, when prostitution was booming everywhere.

Robin: Rage!

Okay sorry, it was developed by the Horten brothers who were interested in an airplane design called the flying wing as a method for performance gliders. It reduced the drag of the glider because it had smoothed out and removed unneeded surfaces, creating les drag. To better understand the design imagine a bat, that should be easy enough for even bird brain here.

Robin: Hey!

(GIR pops out of cockpit of Horten Ho wearing a Batman costume)

GIR: I'm Batman!

Robin: No you're not, you're just insane moronic robot.

(Long Pause)

GIR: I got a cape!

Robin: Jesus Christ.

Now a bat has two wings and a small tail at the end. Thats a flying wing design, its basically two wings and small tail. No fuselage, no steering tail, nothing but the cockpit and the wings. Without a fuselage there is less drag and with wings only it shorter and sturdier then other aircraft. The design would later be adapted for future stealth bombers used by the US Airforce. Put all that together and you essentially have an idea what the Ho (Smirk) looked like. Its early prototype was constructed of metal and wood and included a primative ejection seat in the cockpit. It feature tricycle landing gear and a brake parachute for landings. Control of the aircraft was achieved by elevons and spoilers. The jet engines themselves were placed on either side of the cockpit and were built into the craft itself instead of looking like the were just added on like previous German Jets. The Horten's tested the aircraft in March of 1944 and it performed well. Orders for the production of more prototypes were issued and the 229 entered pre-production at the Gotha Aircraft production facility. Meaning the Hortens could quit their secret jobs as pimps.

Robin: RAGE!

Sorry. Germany could have very well got the aircraft up and running but the Americans proved too fast for them and Patton's army captured one of the prototypes as they advanced into Germany. When told they had captured a Ho many of Patton's men were excited but were quickly let down when told it was an airplane.

Robin: Enough with the prostitue jokes! Tell the history plain and simple!

You're such a stick. Anyway the plane was a revolutionary marvel for its time. A maximum speed of 607 mph, a combat radius of 1000 kilometers, armed to thew teeth with four 30 mm cannons and R4M rockets, there were even plans to make it a nightfighter aircraft. The only problem they ever encountered was when one of the prototypes crashed and killed its test pilot. The Ho was apparently too fast and too hard for the poor guy to handle.

Robin: Stop it!

Okay, actually the engines flamed out and the plane crashed, so it was the prototype that was early, not the pilot.

Robin: Okay, enough of the stupid sex jokes, they are seriously getting out of hand.

Oh shut up, you try talking about an aircraft that has a questionable name that makes it sound like one of two things, Santa's cheerful laugh or a woman that sells herself for cash.

Robin: Just get to the part where you say how useful the vehicle would have been if put into production.

As long as you weren't that dead test pilot, the Ho would have been a sight to behold. Even if some of the claims that were made about the aircraft weren't entirely true, like its estimated service ceiling of 16000m, it would still have been a capable aircraft. The problems it would have faced were that few pilots could have been found in time to actually fly the planes and, if those engine problems that caused the test pilot's death prove anything, the junkers jumbo turbojets would probably have been prone to mechanical failure. Despite this, it certainly would've given the Allied aircraft it faced off against one bumpy night.

Robin: RAGE!

What? That was a perfect opening!

------------------------------------

Over the battlefields of Europe, Captains Dick Grayson and Wally West were flying over the advancing troops along the German border, tasked with keeping them safe from German attack. They were flying in their new P-80's today as was the rest of the squadron. There a few P-51 fighters in the air with them, acting as their support.

"I don't want to get jumped by 262s Wally," Dick said through the radio "so keep your eyes open. The Krauts could come from any direction."

"Don't know why they bother though." Wally added "Luftwaffe's all but finished, same with the rest of the Nazis. We keep this advance up we'll be home by the start of Summer, maybe sooner."

"I'd like to hope so Wally." Dick replied "I'm sure everyone else is thinking the same thing."

"Think about it man," Wally continued "we go back home for the Summer, head down to Florida, kick back with some beach babes, a well deserved reward for making it through this mess."

"Can't argue with that Wally." Dick simply replied.

The conversation was cut short when Dick spotted something in the distance. Several boogies incoming, too fast for prop-planes.

"Fritz is joining the party Wally." Dick said over the radio "Coming in fast at 2 o'clock."

"Roger," Wally responded "let's show them that they're no longer the fastest thing in the skies."

"Squadron," Dick ordered through the radio "break and engage the enemy on my mark, break."

The P-80s zoomed towards the 262s, head-on. Dick fired on the lead 262, catching it in the left engine and forcing it to break off. The two sets of aircraft turned away from one another as they came within and arms length of one another. Now it was a free for all.

"Wally," Dick called "watch my back while I try and take out some of these guys."

"Gotcha." Wally responded.

A 262 rolled alongside one of the P-80s and then decreased in speed to get into firing position. The American pilot saw it however and quickly divided away as the German opened fire. Dick flew after the two as P-80 desperately tried to avoid the 262's machine guns. Dick opened up on the German jet fighter, catching it in the left wing engine. Black soon poured out of the 262 and the German backed off.

"Oh no, you're not getting away that easy." Dick said as he went after the fleeing Kraut

Zipping up after the Jet, Dick fire another volley of rounds into the fighter's tail. Suddenly the 262 exploded in a hail of fire.

"Must've got the fuel line." Dick said as he rocketed through the debris. "Okay one down, a whole bunch more to go."

A 262 sped across Dick's cockpit window view. A nearby P-51 support plane was too slow and ended up getting cut to ribbons by the German's machien guns. As the plane's engine went on fire Dick saw the cockpit door open and the P-51 pilot jump out, his chute opening.

"I got this one." Wally said over the radio.

Wally went off to avenge the downed P-51. He got behind the 262 and fired sevreral rounds into its tail. The 262 suddenly looped up and began to come back down on Wally's fuselage.

"Hah, nice try Kraut." Wally snicked

The P-80 rolled away from the incoming fire and the 262 quickly pulled back up. Wally turned and met the oncoming German in deadly game of chicken.

"Got you in my sights Jerry." Wally said

Wally and German fire at eachother. Wally spun his plane into a barrel roll while he he fired, avoiding some of the shots by the 262. One of his bullets smashed into the cockpit of the plane and injured the German Pilot. Wally eased off and missed a head on collision with the plane. Then he got behind the 262 and fired several rounds into the backside of the plane. Fire started creeping up on one of jet's engine, amazingly the German pilot managed to open the cockpit door and bail out in the nick of time before he was done for.

"Guy's got some balls I'll give him that." Wally said.

Another P-80 hit a 262 square on in the fuselage and right engine. The plane exploded and smashed straight into the ground. Dick was pleased with their progress so far.

"We keep this up the Luftwaffe is gonna run out of those speed demons." He said

"Guess they didn't expect us to have aircraft that could match them in speed huh?" Wally added

A P-51 zipped to dodge a chasing 262 on its tail, Dick's P-80 came to its rescue and shot the German plane clear out of the sky and straight to the Earth. The pilot bailed out when it started spinning towards the ground.

"The P-51s can't match these 262s." Dick noticed "We need to hold these Germans off and give them a chance to bail."

"Hey don't doubt them yet Dick," Wally said "they handle themselves pretty well, look off at 9 o'clock."

Dick saw as one P-80 pilot led another 262 into a P-51's line of fire. The German jet caught some bullets in the engine pulled away from the fight.

"Hmm, guess it all matters on who can think up a better strategy now a days." Dick thought.

A 262 snuck up on a P-51 and blasted it in the wing. The planes went into a death spiral and exploded. Dick got up behind the 262 and returned the favour with an unexpected rocket attack. The the rocket launched from the P-80 and smashed into the 262's engine, causing it to burst wide open. The plane went soon after.

"We got them on the run now boys." Dick said over the radio "Keep up the pressure."

Suddenly the fight was interupted when something speed right out of the clouds and zipped past Dick's plane.

"The hell was that?" He asked

"Can't tell." Wally said "Too fast for a 262, definetly not shaped like one."

Then Wally looked up and saw even more fast moving object.

"Ah crap, Dick!" Wally shouted "Bad guys above at 6 o'clock high! Evade! Evade!"

Dick looked up and saw two airplanes dive at him firing their guns, he rolled the plane away and narrowly avoided them slamming into him.

"The hell are those things?" Dick demanded to know.

Wally was barely getting a good look at the thing.

"Its faster then us, but not by much." He said "Cross markings, its German. Doesn't have a fuselage, looks just like a pair of wings flying by themselves, design seems like its swept wing. Looks like a bat or something."

"The Germans got a new toy!?" Dick shouted "Damn it all, just when we were winning too."

The bat like craft descended on a P-80 and the plane tried to dodge them. But the swarmed the American jet and fired on it. The P-80 suddenly burst into flames and fell from the sky.

"Damn, they pack a punch too!" Wally shouted

"Keep them off your tails." Dick ordered "We can't outrun them so just try and out manuveur them."

Dick tried to get behind one of the craft but the jet zoomed out of the way and rolled towarss the left. Dick followed him as quickly as the plane would allow. Dick was surprised there were enough trained pilots left in Germany that could actually fly such a craft. The new German jet fighter continued to alluded him through the clouds. Before Dick knew what had happened the dived back down at him from a greater hieght then he could reach. It forced him to roll away before the German hit him.

"Damn it all." Dick said aloud "These jets are tricky little bastards."

Wally was trying to evade one of the new jet fighters on his tail. He nearly got a rocket straight in his wing, but he moved the plane sideways and barely avoided the projectile.

"If these guy hadn't gotten the jump on us we'd be plowing through'em right now." Wally complained "Fritz never fights fair."

"Quit it Wally," Dick ordered "if we don't figure out something soon the whole squadron is gonna be blown out of the sky."

A P-51 was shot straight out of the air as one of the unknown German Jets sped out of mno way and hits it's engine square on. A P-80's wing ripped right off as another one of the bat-like planes fired a missile. The American fighter spun wildly out of control and slammed straight into the European countryside. Yet another P-51 caught fire as its fuel line was ruptured by one of the unknown aircraft. The pilot managed to bail out, but only just.

"We are some deep trouble here Dick." Wally said as he ran from the jet still on his tail.

"I know, I know." Dick responded "I need time to think here."

"Well think fast already!" Wally demanded

Dick noticed one of the fighters was a little shaky, perhaps Germany didn't have enough good pilots left after all. He turned the plane around and fired a few rounds at the fast moving target. One of the hits caught the plane in the engine. Suddenly, the jet sputtered and the engine gave out. As the German inside was forced to bail out of his crashing plane Dick came up with an idea.

"Aim for the engines," Dick said over the radio "they seem delicate or faulty maybe."

"Well its giving them a hell of a lot of thrust so the faulty part is in question." said Wally as one sped by him.

Suddenly one of the bat-like jets appeared right in front of Dick. It came barreling right towards him at full speed. Dick kept his finger on the trigger switch, but before he could fire his own gun, tracer rounds appeared from the left of his view and slammed into the German jet. It suddenly exploded. Dick turned around and saw five large fast moving shapes appear in his view.

"262s?" He thought at first "No too big, something else."

He then saw the British markings on the side of one of the planes as it sped past. Dick realised that these were of course British Gloster Meteors and their timing was impecable.

"Hey, what do you know!" Wally said happily "Looks like the crumpet eaters have joined the party!"

"Good, lets see how these bat jets like it when they get jumped." Dick said relieved

The bat jets were suddenly caught off guard by the new editional support from the British Meteors. The English Jets fired at the Germans Bat planes and sent them reeling back from the main group of allied airplanes. The fighter tailing Wally ended up getting several bullet's through it and crashign to the ground. Dick, Wall and the rest of the American pilots joined up on the Meteors' wing and suddenly had the German jets backa t a disadvantage. A P-80's rocket collided into the backside of a fleeing German bat jet, A Meteor's bullet's strafed along one of the engines of the enemy fighter until the damage became too great and the Kraut plummted out of the sky. One of the German jet's got it in the tail from another P-80 as it tried to reposition itself behind a Meteor. It started a dive towards the ground and crash in the middle of a field below. The Meteor's and P-80's had the German Bat planes on the run now. The 262s that remained suddenly bolted off and the Bat planes followed. Before it got too far away, Dick fired a couple of rounds into the backside of one of the fighters. The plane suddenly turned and sped past Dick, strafing his wing. Dick was still flying, so he turned his plane after the German and jet and managed to force it up into the clouds. He fired at its underbelly and the plane caught on fire. The engines flamed out and the jet began to plummet back to Earth. Dick pulled away from the finished and falling fighter. Wally managed to cut off another escaping bat plane.

"You're good Kraut," He said "real good. But as long as i'm arounf you'll always be second best see, nah."

"Just shoot the Jerry bastard already Wally." Dick moaned

Wally obliged and blasted a volley of bullets that slammed into the engines and destroyed the fighter.

"Alright!" He said in glee "One more of Uncle Adie's Superweapons out of commission!"

Dick and Wally rejoined the Meteors and other American Fighters. They had beaten back the attack, now they had to thank the guys who saved them. Dick patched through to their frequency.

"Thanks for the save back there." He said "We could've ended up as little minature black dots on the landscape if it wasn't for you."

"Yeah," Said Wally as he patched through as well. "say you guys have any idea what those things that jumped us were?"

It was at that point that the two Americans got a surprise.

"If you require that information they are refered to as Horten Ho 229s," A female voice explained "they usually attack bombers so I am not surprised that you have not heard of them."

Wally and Dick were confused as to whatw as going on, why was a woman answering them?

"Uh..." Wally started "excuse me, who are speaking too again?"

"Meteor Squadron Commander Korian Andelson, pleased to meet you." The female voice responded

"Um," Dick began " Okay. I'm Captain Dick Grayson and this is Captain Wally West. American Airforce.

"Hey." Wally greeted

"Forgive the confusion commander but," Dick said "aren't woman not usually pilots?"

"No they aren't," The Commander replied "but I'm not exactly employed by the standard RAF. Only a few people ever get into a Meteor, special trained people."

"So what," Wally began "you with the SOE or something?"

"The Special Operations Executive?" The commander replied "Yes, that is correct. Part of their aviation division of the services."

"So you just happened to be in this area then?" Dick asked "Seems a little strange that they'd send an agent out on a regular patrol mission like ours."

"Actually we have been tracking the movements of that particular squadron of 229s for quite some time." She explained "They've been a bothersome nuisance on Allied Bombing raids. With your help we managed to take down some of their most elite pilots. In fact, it should be me thanking you right now."

"Glad to be of service," Dick said "so I guess we should head back to base to rearm and refuel huh Wally."

"Aww, I wanted to see if Fritz would come back and try for round two." Wally pretended to complain

"Sorry we have to cut the meeting short commander." Dick said

"Don't worry my new American friends," The commander said "I think we shall get quite aquainted actually. We have been getting reports of the Nazis trying to push more and more superweapons out the doors to stop the Allied advance. Because of your actions today I think that you could be of some use to the SOE. I shall contact my superiors and ask them for a trasfer to your airfield."

"Thats not ness-"

The commander didn't let Dick finish

"I shall hopefully see you soon Captain Grayson and West. Good day!"

With that the commander and her Meteors took off... and Wally was none too happy.

"Great, you probably just got out entire base drafted into the SOE." Wally said "Colonel's gonna have a fit and we're gonna be stuck fighting planes like those Hos again."

"Hey give me a break Wally!" Dick pleaded "She was a commander! She outranks me!"

"Oh zip it Dick." Wally said "You jsut can't say no to a girl."

"Let's just get back to base." Dick ordered "I've had enough fighting for one day."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: The Most Iditotic Weapon Ever Made!

I said the Allies had some stupid ideas, well if this one ever ended up being true then it would have had the Titanic rolling in its grave. Hell, even the thought of it probably caused every dead body at the bottom of the Atlantic still rotting inside that famous ship to leap up and shout "THE F--K!" cause we're talking about an Aircraft Carrier ... made out of an iceberg!

Beast Boy: This is gonna be a very embarrassing chapter I can tell.

Raven: You have got to be kidding me. Why the hell would anyone want to make an aircraft carrier out of ice? I mean, were they smoking crack or something? Why would they do that?

Well it was sort of an answer to the growing problem of Allied ships being killed by German U-Boats. You see someone came up with the idea that if the ship was made of ice it couldn't flood and therefore wouldn't sink.

Raven: Why not just invest the money in Anti-submarine warfare? Wouldn't that be more practical?

Tell that to the project's mastermind, Geoffery Pyke. An eccentric inventor that was employed by the British Office of Combined Operations to help them in solving some of the strategic problems of the Allied war plan. He was also delightfully mad, as one of his suggestions towards destroying Germany's oil supplies at the Ploesti Fields in Romania was to have commandos in fire trucks sneak in and pretend to put out oil fires with hoses when in actuality the commandos fired out incendiary bombs from their hoses.

Raven: (Confused look on her face) Okay... that just sounds... retarded.

Well it was a better plan then his alternative, which involved setting loose hundreds of dogs with alcohol caskets tied around their neck into the fields so they could make the guards drunk and compromise the field's defenses.

Beast Boy: Well, you can't call him uncreative, heh he.

Raven: Why the hell did the Allies hire him exactly?

It was 1942, they were desperate for anything. But only the iceberg carrier we have mentioned got past intial conception. The original idea was to get a huge iceberg out of the artic circle and then carve it up, place engine on it and make it a mobile airfield. However, icebergs melt so the plan wasn't feasible in the slightest. That was when he decided that could make special slow melting ice and building a ship out of the stuff. The doubt in the plan was expected.

Allied Officer: Are you high? Or just plain retarded Mr. Pyke?

Pyke: I don't know... wanna see me stretch my leg back behind my neck?

Allied Officer: No.

But for some reason, somebody thought they could make it work. That somebody was Lord Louis Mountbatten who was unconcerned with the cost and specifics of the stupid plan and decided to help Pyke in his research.

Advisor: Sir I really think you should reconsider, Pyke isn't exactly all there you see and I fear his plan is incredibly... well stupid sir.

Lord Mountbatten: Oh Reginald don't be so shrewd, Pyke's Iceberg ship sounds like an exciting spend venture. I believe it can work so I know it shall work.

Adivsor: May I remind you sir that Pyke recently suggested that we assasinate Hitler by inviting him to Puppet show and then placing a flamethrower in one of the puppet's mouths to be fired at him.

Lord Mountbatten: Trust me, this iceberg ship is a wonderful plan. I have full confidence in Pyke's project, now excuse me I have to get back to my game of Golf. (Holds up gold club and walks towards hole) I just need this for a birdy.

(Suddenly Pyke comes out of no where wearing nothing, covered in honey and grabs the flag pole in the hole before running off)

Pyke: I'm Mary Queen of Scots! WA HA HA HA!

Lord Mountbatten: My word, I do hope the bees aren't out today.

Raven: None of that actually happened did it?

No, but I bet Pyke tried it once. Moving on, the project for the carrier was transferred to Canada, because honestly no one would ever think of looking for a secret Allied Naval project in the middle of Canada. No German would ever suspect Canada to be harbouring secret weapons!

Raven: Too bad the secret weapon its helping to make sucks!

True, but saying that kinda ruins the moment of Canadian pride... then again this entire chapter is a downer to the Allied Nation's pride so really I shouldn't be worried about that. Oh well, well some of the tests of early composition slow melting ice met with failures but an American research team found a way to use a wood pulp mixture to achieve the desired effect. And to honor the man who started the project they called it "Pykrete!"

Beast Boy: You sure you guys wanna call it that?

Scientists: Yes!

Beast Boy: You could aways call it wood ice or slow ice or mixed ice or maybe even name it after yourselves. You sure you want to call it Pykrete?

Scientist 1: Of course we do!

Scientist 2: Its an awesome name!

Beast Boy: Okay, just don't expect your scientific contribution to appear in any classroom chemistry lessons.

Scientists 2: Ha, we'll see about that!

(60 years later in a classroom)

Old Scientist 2: Hey everyone, allow me to introduce myself. I'm the famous scientist who helped create Pykrete!

(Students look on uninterested)

Student 1: The hell is that?

Old Scientist 2: Its a form of slow melting ice.

(Long pause)

Voice in Background: You suck!

With their exclusion from the history books assured now, the project went on as planned to create a massive aircraft carrier that any plane could land on! It was to be called the HMS Habbakuk!

Raven: Isn't that spelled Habakkuk?

Yes, but thats how Pyke mis-spelled it so there is no point in trying to correct a dead man now is there? The name was inspired by an obscure biblical scholar who foresaw a work 'which ye will not believe.' Well he got that right, we don't believe it. In fact we don't believe that anyone would be so stupid as to think that this was a good idea! But apparently they thought it was a good enough idea to get the boat to a preprototype stage before abandoning it. So lets tell the sorted tale of the world's most idiotic weapon ever concieved!

Beast Boy: Can you smell the embarrasment yet?

The story begins when Mountbatten hired Pyke for the Combined Operations office because Pyke argued that they needed him because he was man that, in his words, thinks. Well he certainly did a lot of thinking, he thought up a plan to transport troops and supplies via a pipeline.

(Beast Boy in pipe)

Beast Boy: How are we suppose to fit a tank in here again?

(Cyborg slams tank into pipeline entrance several times)

Cyborg: Just have to make it fit!

As well as a Motorized sled that would a roll torpedo down a hill.

Johnny Noxwell: Hi I'm Johnny Noxwell and this is Jackass! Today I'm go sledding down a hill on this torpedo. Check it!

(Johnny jumps on sled and flys down the hill and slams into a tree, exploding)

Camera Man: I think he's dead guys.

Steve-O: Who cares, this will get us awesome ratings!

Then of course Pyke came up with that iceberg idea and before you know it we're in Canada with Pyke and a team of researchers trying to create a huge ice ship that could survive a torpedo hit and be used as a trasport for hundreds of aircraft. This was in late 1942, the Kreigsmarine still ruled the seas and people were desperate for anything that could secure Allied shipping lanes.So even the crazy Pyke seemed like an okay choice. Pyke's team began construction on a mini-Habbakuk, 60-70 meters long. The real one would be close to 610 meter and weigh over 2 million tons. Next they would have to make an ice substance that was strong enough to withstand everything from bombs and torpedos to cannon and gun fire. In the spring of 1943, two American Scientists created Pykrete, which consisted of 14 percent saw dust or wood pulp 86 percent water. Mixed into a slurry and frozen these blocks of ice could withstand tremendous pressure and were immune to fracturing making it less fragile then regular ice. The stupidly named wood-ice blocks had their strength tested by Mountbatten himself. The Top Allied brass gathered to see how this plan would work out in the end.

Mountbatten: Ladies and gentlemen, I present... (Pulls cover off of chunk of ice) Pykrete!

(Long silence from audience as someone coughs)

Voice in the back: Thats a stupid name!

Mountbatten: Despite that obvious fact watch as I prove the strength of this ice. This pedastal has regular ice on it. (Fires pistol at regular ice and it shatters) Now, watch pykrete as it stands up to a direct shot from my pistol. (Mountbatten holds up pistol and shoots block of pykrete. It does not shatter but the bullet bounces off and hits Admiral Ernest King in the leg.)

Ernest: JESUS CHRIST!

(Ernest falls to floor in pain)

Allied officer: Amazing!

Allied General: Astounding!

British Person: Fascinating indeed.

(Everyone crowds around Mountbatten and shakes his hand.)

Ernest: Call an ambulance!

Allied officer: This is an amazing discovery.

Allied General: It will change the world!

British Person: You're a credit to the Office of Combined Operations Mountbatten.

Ernest: Will someone please #$&ing call a doctor!

Mountbatten: Well thats settled, who wants fish and chips?

Allied Brass: ME!

(Everyone leaves room while Ernest rolls around in pain)

Ernest: Am I going to die?

Actually Ernest was relatively unscathed and only got a hole in his trousers, but that wasn't funny so I changed history slightly. Anyway, it was long after that the British realised they couldn't properly fund the project so they sent it over to the Americans who later scrapped it because they had already recognized that the whole plan was a waste of time and money.

American General: This is a stupid idea. A ship made out of an iceberg, someone was either drunk or taking opium when they thought this crap up.

Advisor: What do we do with the preprototype sir?

American General: Let it melt in Canada... although I think that will take awhile.

(Canadian soldiers look on at slow melting mini-Habbakuk)

Canadian Soldier 1: We have nothing better to do then watch this thing melt do we?

Canadian Soldier 2: At least until TV is invented.

If ever built, the Habbakuk would have used 200,000 blocks of pykrete before having its insides chiseled out to make room for the crew quarters and aircraft cavernous hangers that would have housed hundreds of aircraft as big as Lancaster Bombers. It would have been the largest Aircraft Carrier ever built, twice the size of a normal American Aircraft Carrier. Twenty four electric motors powered by a single power plant would have run the ship. Taking in its size and amount of water displacement such a huge ship would create the speed is estimated at a top speed of... 6 knots. To better explain that in nautical terms here's a simulation of what would happen if the ship was ever launched.

(People on board Habbakuk start cheering as they begin to elave the dock)

Sailor: We're headed to Europe boys!

Crew: WO HOO! YEAH! KICK ASS! YAY!

Captain: Full steam ahead!

(Ship goes into water and starts to leave the dock at a snails pace. A few seconds later a row boat passes the huge ship in mnutes.)

Row Boater: (Points at Habbakuk and laughs) HAH HAH!

(Ship has barely even got 12 feet away from the dock by nightfall)

Sailor: This sucks!

Its doubtful the ship would have reached Europe before the war was over. Most of the men would have probably frozen to death by then in the cold, incredibly uncomfortable accomadations by then. So it was a good decision on the part of the Americans to cancel the order.

Beast Boy: Pyke wasn't too happy I bet.

No he wasn't but he eventually got over it... sorta.

Pyke: I have an idea for the invasion of Normandy! First we find ourselves some sea serpents, then we tame them, next we launch our attack on Normandy and have the monsters break through the Atlantic Wall for us!

Eisenhower: Where exactly are we going to find Sea Monsters Mr. Pyke?

Pyke: I've already got a team at Loch Ness sir. We should have one within the month.

(Long pause)

Eisenhower: Get out.

And thus ended the dumbest weapon ever conceived by the Allies, the costly ship was too slow, too big, too expensive, too everything. Like the Maus Tank it was unrequired. Regular ships were doing just fine against the Kreigsmarine in 1943, so there was no reason to actually try and build the stupid ship.

Raven: Glad to see some people have brains in this world. I wouldn't have let the project get out the front door.

Of course in our universe of WWII resources and cash are unlimited, so...

Beast Boy: Great now we have to do a scene with the damn Habbakuk.

Raven: I refuse to spell it that way.

Beast Boy: Can we just get this over with?

Fine, I want to do more insane Axis weapons anyway. Oh well, at least I got Allied Warplanes to look forward to later.

------------------------

London, Office of Strategic Actions, 2 days after the fall of Oberstborn

Lieutenant Logan had been summoned back to HQ in London, apparently it had something to do with the Oberstborn bunker and what he had found there. They said they had gotten new information that perhaps explained what was going on. Logan was glad, now they could find out what the Germans were trying so hard to protect back in that town. If they were calling him back to London it was probably something bad. At least there was the prospect of going on another mission to look forward too... which also meant he was gonna get shot at again... so there was really nothing be optomistic about.

When Logan first joined the OSS he was under the impression that he'd be spending most of his time decoding secret messages. Instead, because of his service record in the American Army and actions in North Africa, he was tasked with going behind enemy lines instead to try and disrupt German war plans. So far he had probably seen everything Germany had left to throw at the Allies and he knew it was costing them Billions. Sources from inside the Fatherland cited that the German people were crowing fed up with Hitler and a possible coup by German military leaders was close at hand. If things kept going like this the war may be over before even the Soviets could reach Berlin. Whatever the case didn't matter to Logan, as long as the Germans lost he was happy with the outcome. The task now was ending the war as quickly and with as few casualties to the Allied Forces and civilian population of Germany as possible. It wouldn't be easy, but Logan knew that the task had to be done. They had come so far in the past few months that to give up now would be idiotic. Hitler's empire was defeated and he was draining it dry of resources with his insane wonder weapons act. Stopping those weapons had become the OSS' prime mission. Being the single greatest threat to American and British lives on the Western front they needed to be neutralized if the Allies were to defeat Germany. Hopefully whatever mission his Commanding Officer had for him today would help achieve that goal.

Logan opened the door to the CO's office and stepped inside, there was Brigadier General Steve Dayton, furiously writing away at his desk.

"Good day to you sir," Logan said "I trust the hunt for those Nazi super weapons is going well."

"Indeed." Steve said in his direct and commanding manner "Several Maus Tank squadrons were destroyed yesterday when we sent them a faulty troop movement along their Northen flank. They were lured into the trap set by our T-28 tanks destroyers and P-47 Thunderbolt airplanes. All Maus Tanks destroyed. Nevertheless though new information has come to our attention. That manifesto and those order forms you found in the bunker match up to the coordinates of recent intel. If the information is correct the Nazis are building up forces for a massive strike against us."

"Germany doesn't have the capacity for an offensive," Logan reminded Steve "haven't since the Bulge."

"Germany also doesn't have the capacity to keep their weapon's projects going on like this." Steve reminded him "So really don't be too surprised."

"Is the intelligence reliable?" Logan asked "Cause I don't want to parachute deep into German lines and find nothing."

"Your target isn't the staging areas," Steve explained "the information states something much dire. I think it would better explained by the person that gave us the intel."

Steve pressed a button on the desk.

"Send her in now Rita." he said

Logan didn't understand what was going on precisely. Why shouldn't they attack the staging areas? Wasn't that usually what they did? Stop attacks and secret projects before they took hold?

"Sir, why exactly are we putting off attacking the staging areas?" Logan asked

"Recent photographs show that the areas are all situated deep within the German Rural Mountains." Steve explained" They are heavily defended by German Jet Fighter squadrons and anti-aircraft divisions. The areas are just too well fortified to be properly attacked and too well guarded to be infiltrated at the present time, not until we have more information on what is going on there. Like you said, we're not even sure if they can mount an offensive, let alone one at this size."

"What kind of defensive are we talking about anyway?" Logan asked

"An attack on every major city of the three main Allied powers."

Logan looked behind them to see where the monotone Slavic voice had come. Standing in the door way, wearing a raggy brown tattered uniform with cloak on her head and a Red Star on her chest was a Brown haired Russian woman.

"Communists gave us the intel," Logan sighed heavily "man this just gets better and better."

"Lieutenant Logan," Steve began "meet Agent Ravenna Rothakova of the Soviet Union Special Operations Division."

"Russian Spies huh?" Logan said "What division? Suppression of Dissent or Propaganda Control, I can never really tell."

"Logan," Steve interrupted "please do not insult Mrs. Rothakova. She came a long way from the Eastern Front just to give us this intel."

"Made time in her busy Secret Police schedule I guess." Logan continued

"Thats the KGB, a seperate agency from my own." Ravenna explained "If you want to continue accussing of crimes I have not commited I shall let you know that my department is affiliated with the People's Army, much like your OSS and SOE offices."

"So don't means you don't round up POWs and shoot them?" Logan asked

"No, and that is all I'm at liberty to say." Ravenna answered coldly.

"Didn't even know Commies knew the word Liberty."

"Thats enough Lieutenant." Steve said aloud "Now will you please let Mrs. Rothakova tell us what she has found out."

"Well she's in a free country for once," Logan said "I suppose she's allowed."

Ravenna snorted at him and went over to the side of the table. She unrolled a piece of papoer in her hands revealing a world map that had arrows pointing in three directions. Two at America, Two at Britain and one at the USSR. There was a big circled area around Berlin and all the arrows started just north of the circle in the rural mountains.

"The positions where the arrows end on the map are marked with Xs," Ravenna explained "each of them target a different city. If the arrows are to indicate an attack then it means there will be on strike in New York, one in Washington D.C., Two at London and one at Moscow. The operation is codenamed 'Final Vengeance' but its launch date and what exactly its intentions are are unknown at the time. We first got wind of it after the Battle at Kursk when we decoded secret messages from Berlin to top German Commanders calling for the preperations of the operation to commence. So far though, I am unaware of what the preperations are."

"How exactly is a strike suppose to come at all four cities from that deep in Germany!?" Logan asked "Its not like they can just fly there!"

"I am not sure," Ravenna said "all I know is that the coordinates I found with this map match the ones where your intelligence says the Germans are delivering supplies and weapons to. If the Fascists are planning something its coming from there. What I couldn't understand at first was how they could keep the area so well supplied with Germany's Economy crumbling all around them."

"I'm sensing a 'until' right now." Logan said

"Until I saw another map located within the report about the supply status of the staging area." Ravenna said "It seems to explain how Germany is able to create all of these super weapons. Here, let me show you."

Ravenna reached into her pocket and pulled out another map, this one with dotted lines all pointing at the staging area.

"These lines represent supply routes for the area, most of them are from inside Germany itself." She explained "Except this one."

She pointed at one line that was leading out of Germany.

"Where does it lead?" Logan asked

Ravenna continued to follow the dotted line until her finger landed half way around the world off on a small island off the coast of Japan.

"The Fascist's Allies, the Japanese are apparently living up to their end of the Axis alliance." She said "They are supplying the Germans with all the resources they need to keep their war effort going."

"You mean to tell me," Logan said "that the Japs are flying half way around the world to help keep Germany in the war with their secret weapons? How?"

"When Japan invaded most of Asia they plundered all they could from the conquered nations." Steve expalined "My guess is that they are using the resources of their vast empire to help the Nazis stay in the game. In return they keep the bulk of the Allied Forces stuck in the Europe first policy and perhaps gain German technological insight as well. If the Japanese are being supplied with plans to German super weapons it could be disaterous for the Pacific Campaign. Japanese Jet Fighter and Super Tanks would make any offensive against the home island impossible."

"So thats why I'm going to the Pacific to kill two birds with one stone then?" Logan asked "I stop the Germans from getting resources to keep their economy and their weapons running and take out Japan's secret weapons projects before they can get too far ahead of MacArthur and his boys. Sounds like a plan to me."

"You're not going alone Logan," Steve told him "Agent Rothakova risked her life to gather this intel and insisted to her superiors and to me that she be put on loan to the OSS in order to determine the severity of this threat and help put a stop to it. Because of that she will be going with you on the mission."

"But sir-"

Logan was interrupted

"Theres no arguing this Lieutenant," Steve told him "Ravenna knows more about this German plan then the rest of us and you know more about Axis' secret weapon's project then she does. As far as I'm concerned you need each other. Now I suggest you get a good night's rest both of you because you're headed for Japan first thing tommorow."

"How we gonna get there?" Logan asked, annnoyed somewhat

"By C-47 via..."

Logan suddenly knew what was coming and he quickly corssed his finger behind his back

"Don't say it, don't say it, please don't say it!" Logan muttered fingers crossed tightly

"... a stop on the Habbakuk."

"Damnit!" Logan shotued aloud.

"Its the only Airfield that can get refueled and into the Pacific by the day after Tommorow." Steve explained

"What is this Habbakuk?" Ravenna asked

"You'll see." Steve told her "Now you're dissmissed. But tommorow, you're headed for the Pacific together, so I suggest you get over whatever problems you have with one another."

Ravenna nodded, thanked the Brigadier General and picked up her maps from off the table. Before she left though she whispered in Logan's ear a small farewell.

"See you later, Comrade Capitalist." She said

Logan didn't say a word as she left to room. He didn't like this mission at all now, his new team mate, the prospect of a widespread German strike and especially the Habbakuk. If Ravenna stopped laughing long enough to remember he knew she'd tell everyone back in Russia about that cursed ship and knowing the communist propaganda makers and what they stood for they'd make America's biggest spend venture out to be a prime example of why they were happy they weren't a Capitalist society. Hopefully the ship would somehow melt by the time the news got out and America could deny everything about tis existance.

----------------

The next day saw Ravenna and Logan taking off from London and up into the Arctic Circle. After a long trip through the freezing cold of the near top of the world Logan was trying his best not to talk to Ravenna. He just wanted to spend this half of the trip doing his best to keep what little dignity he had left. Then Ravenna could laugh at him and his country all she wanted when they landed. Soon the C-47 began to make its descent.

"We've arrived at the Habbakuk folks." The pilot said "Hope you got some warm clothing on cause its as cold as ever."

Ravenna walked over to the front window of the plane, and saw what they were coming up on. A giant of a ship, an aircraft carrier to be precise, with airplanes strewn all over the decks. As they approached huge vessel Ravenna noticed something else about its structure, it wasn't steel. It looked cold, frozen and wetter then usual. She had an idea of what it was but she couldn't truly beleive it. So she tured to Logan

"Is that... ice?" She asked Logan

"Yes," Logan said defeated "you can go ahead an laugh now."

Ravenna tried not too, but it was too much to bare. Before her was oversized aircraft carrier, so big it was probably displacing a 3rd of the Arctic sea's water and to top it all off it was made out of ice. It was probably the most absurd thing that she had ever heard of. A ship of that size must've cost a fortune for the Americans... and they made it out of blocks of ice! She burst forth laughing, more so then she had ever done in her life, and she went back to her seat holding her sides. Her bellowing only ended when they would exit the plane, Logan's pride vanishing with every chuckle. She had every right to laugh at him, not ever the Soviets would have made such a dumb weapon. Eventually the plane landed with a bump and the two exited the plane. Ravenna was no longer laughing, instead she was just smiling cheekily. To Logan this was even worse then the laughing, especially her smile. It seemed to say 'Your Navy is run by idiots' to him. He decided to just bare the humiliation and let Ravenna have her fun, they'd soon be off this useless waste of resources anyway. A man in a Navy Uniform and Captain's Hat came up to them.

"Lieutenant Logan, Agent Rothakova, we've been expecting your arrival." The captain said "Your plane will be refueled and off to the Pacific within the hour. In the meantime would you care to take a look around?"

"No, that won't be nessecary." Logan said shaking his head "We're fine."

"Lieutenant where are your manners?" Ravenna said with a grin "We are guests on this ship, the best way we can show our hosts some hospitality is at least letting them show off its grand splendour."

When she said Grand Splendour he heard a bit of a smirk come out of her mouth. Best to just go along with it.

"Very well, show us around sir." Logan relented

The Captain seemed pleased and had them follow him inside the ship.

"The general quarters, bridge and decks above the landing field are all metal." He began "The decks below are made of solid ice. A special kind of ice made from wood and water. Formula is classified however, sorry."

"Oh don't worry Captain," Ravenna said, her grin growing bigger "my country isn't at all interested in stealing your 'amazing technological secrets'," When she said this she began to exaggerate the words "we value your friendship and trust too much."

"Good to know, lets move on then." The captain said

The captain didn't seem at all aware that Ravenna was mocking his ship, in a sutle and sarcastic way of course. The captain either didn't care, was too into the tour because he never got many visitors, or being inside this frozen icecube had made his brain forget about the concept of sarcasm. Either way the Captain continued to show them both the below decks of the vessel, the crew down there were huddled with blankets around them, shivering from the cold nether regions of the ship.

"We insulate the ship with cork." The captain explained "Makes the inside warmer without increasing the melting process. Also, ice is hard to walk on. Still, its not as warm as many of the men would like."

Ravenna didn't seem to mind the cold, either she was used to it by now from living in Russia or she was manging to stay warm by laughing under her breath. The captain continued to lead the two into the ship's interior. Eventually they came across the hanger.

"This cavernous hanger can hold up to at least a hundred planes!" The captain bellowed "We don't have many now, but thats only because they had to transfer them all to Europe. You should've seen this place when it was full! Thousands of reving engines was practically defeaning."

Instead there were only a handful of Supermarine Spitfires, some Tomahawk P-40s and few bombers of different sorts. For such a big hanger there was more room then actual planes. It only made Ravenna chuckle more.

'No one even comes here! It like the Allies don't want the Naval Airforces to know how much time they've wasted making this thing!' She thought

Logan continued to sulk, hiw pride dampening every step as the Captain tried to show off his pride in his vessel. But none of it impressed Ravenna, she walked the whole way through with that pleased smile on her face, laughing under her breath and making sarcastic snide remarks that the captain took for compliments. Logan prayed for it all to end, who couldn't take the communist beside him silently berating his country for its excessiveness. The situation was made more worse by another fact, Logan agreed with how the Russian Woman was treating this ship. He too thought it was a joke, he too would have been laughing along with her if he wasn't ashamed of the whole ordeal. To him the Habbakuk represented America's Biggest blunder of the war. By actually taking this project away from the British and going through with it the Americans had made a huge ship that was completely unnesscary and worse couldn't be used. He just prayed that Ravenna never found out why. That prayer went unanswered it seemed cause after the Captain had finished explaining about the gun defences of the ship that covered every inch and would never allow a single airplane to get by them, Ravenna asked a question Logan dreaded.

"I heard icebergs are pretty slow Captain," Ravenna began "tell me, how fast can this carrier go?"

Logan looked at the Captain, begging him with his eyes not to tell her. The captain did not see him and quickly answered Ravenna's question.

"Only 6 knots," he said "but we're okay patrolling the arctic circle anyway. Never know when the Nazis might try and put an airbase somewhere up here in the Arctic."

Ravenna seemed to be bursting at the seem yet keeping her mouth shut.

"Well thats certainly faster then a normal iceberg at least." Ravenna seemed to barely say.

After an hour of all of this the plane was ready to be flown again. The duo waved their goodbyes to the captain and crew of the Habbakuk and went inside the C-47. The plane took off and soon after they had left the field, Ravenna burst out laughing in her seat and crashed to the floor of the plane. Logan just sat their pouting.

"That was the most incredible example of badly implemented excessive American Capitalism I have ever seen!" She screamed allowed through her laughs "I can't believe you idiots actually made that thing! Oh this is just too good! This is even better then when I found that broken down Maus that fell into the lake back near Kursk! Its too much! Too much!"

Ravenna continued to laugh on and on for several more minutes. Logan had never felt so embarrassed to be an American in his whole entire life. His only response to the growing laughter was a rebuttal that restored some of his pride in America's navy.

"At least our navy kicked Japan's navy's asses." Logan muttered

"At least we didn't make a ship out of an iceberg!" Ravenna rebuttaled continuing to laugh

"Can we just both agree it was stupid idea and move on from it?" Logan asked

"Only after my sides stop hurting!" Ravenna said

This was going to be a long mission, Logan just knew it.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: V is for Vain Attempts to Win

Hitler always thought he could win, always! Well up until he bought the big Reichstag in the sky, but otherwise he always thought that Germany would win. Even with Allied troops on the Elbe, Russians surrounding Berlin, a country's economy in ruins and basically every building in the Fatherland burning like the surface of the sun, he always thought there was a way to win. This was more prevelent in 1944 after the Allies had invaded Europe. Hitler was of course pissed off at it all now that he had to fight on two whole fronts, so he decided to conduct a campaign of sweet vengeance against the Allies with wonder weapons, entitled Vengeance Weapons to be precise. He wasn't very creative when it came to naming his revenge plots. These Vengeance weapons weren't weapons of war they were weapons of terror deisnged to intimidate and scare the Allied Civilian Population of London and, in some twisted naive hope, force the Allies to the negotiation table so they could spare Civilian lives. Worse, most of these weapons were put together using slave labour. So if the deliberate killing of civilians in a campaign of terror wasn't enough, the Nazis were forcing people to build the things against their will. Hitler had Comic Book villian written all over him.

Beast Boy: I'll say. Hell this was the golden age of comics, DC and Marvel were already making fun of him by having Captain America smack him cross the face once or twice.

That got them put on Hitler's Death list, he never could take satire. At least they recognised him as crazy long before America even went to war with him. But despite that lets get back to the vengeance weapons. The first two are the more famous, the V1 flying bomb and the V2 rocket. The V1 was essentially an inaccurate bomb that could be fired from across the channel at England. They were loaded with explosive and fired from a rocket sled. When they were over a specific target the rocket would give out and the bomb would fall to the earth onto its target. It was eventually repulsed by other aircraft like the Meteor which were able to run and or keep up with it. The V2 was different. The first ballistic missile of its kind the weapon was able to fire from a launch pad and was fast enough to launch into the air and come back down with deadly force. They could put precise coordinates in for the rocket but they were still not entirely accurate. The V2 could not be shot down however and caused a great deal of deaths and damaged along with the V1 bombs. The final Vengeance weapon however is relatively unknown, it was not a bomb or a rocket but instead a long range cross channel artillery battery known as the V3. Designed to systematically shell London non-stop and whipe it clear off the map Worse still, it came very, very close to being completed. So here is the scary story of the V3 Artillery bunkers and how close London came to having to face a third Vengeance weapon and possibly having it kill one of the Pythons.

Monty Python Fans: NOOOOOOOO!

Relax, it never happened! Sheesh! You guys are so easily spooked.

Like most Vengeance weapons the V3 was long in development but seperate from the now infamous testing facilty at Peneemunde where the V2 went through its trials. The project was to have a set of bunkers, each with their own gun. These bunkers would go underground and be re-enforced from the outside to protect the weapons within as well as the officers and gunners themselves. The gun itself was different from other artillery guns of the era. Instead of being big and bulky this one was... well... thin... very thin... think anorexic teen super model thin.

Beast Boy: You mean a pipe?

Essentially yes.

Beast Boy: How do you fire artillery rounds out of a pipe?

Electricity my green skinned friend, the same wonderful force of nature that brought the gattling gun out of retirement and enabled to placed on A-10 Thunderbolt to deliver high velocity salvo rounds that essentially make a tank look like swiss cheese. But thats for 'Teen Titans: Modern Warfare' back to the V3. It started back in 1941 when one August Coender hit upon the idea that you could use electrically activate charges fired through angle side chambers to accelerate an cannon fired projectile beyond anything that could be produced by normal means!

(Beast Boy looks at Camera dumbfounded)

The cannon goes zappy and everything shoots out super duper fast.

Beast Boy: Ohhhhh. Wait a sec, why the hell was he thinking about that?!

I have no idea, he was a metal worker/amateur inventor, they do that sorta thing. The idea had been tried before in the Civil War, but all that accomplished was an exploding prototype. But Coender thought he could make it work. By May 1943 he had perfected his own prototype and it test fired in Poland under the watchful eye of V-projects director, SS General Hans Kammler. And yes, we know thats very close to Krammer, but thats an extremely easy shot considering recent events involving the actor who played the character so I'm not even gonna try.

Beast Boy: But you will make cracks about a jet plane sounding like a slang term for the word prostitute?

What can I say, somethings are way too easy to pass up. Anyway the 60 meter long gun fired its round and was able to reach over 15 kilometers. It fired a specially designed discarding sabot round in the shape of a dart. once exiting the barrel it it dropped the case or sabot surrounding the dart. This allow the fins of the shell to stabalize its flight path before it eventually hits its target. Everyone who wittnessed it was impressed and an order form for 150 full sized guns was asked for. By sticking these guns in five batteries it was believed that they shell London with 300 rounds every hour from their positions in Mimoyecques, France situated in the Calais region. Construction began on the first of these batteries in September 1943. Each of these guns were put together with 5 meter lengths of barrel that eventually created a 150 meters of barrel altogether. There were two side chambers where the ammunition itself was loaded.

Beast Boy: Okay how the hell does this thing work exactly?

Think of it like this, the charge is loaded into the main cannon at the bottom and fired, then all the other smaller cannons along the way it travels up the long barrel fire as well. Therefore the barrel spits out its 140 kilogram explosive cargo super fast at a 30 degree angle. This increases its overall velocity and arch towards its target. The little cannons were packed with explosive charges and detonated using electricity. Some people say the charges were small and conventional, others suggest they were rocket powered we don't know.

Beast Boy: Rocket powered Cannons, man the Nazis were ambitious bastards.

Th aim itself could be adjusted by removing or adding wooden planks under the barrel. So one could say it was in efficent marriage of low tech and high tech.

Beast Boy: A bloody and devilish marriage which no one would have recovered from. Just like Bradgellina.

Surrounding the battery was a large bunker complex with sleeping quarters, command and control, ammunition stores and a dining area. Because shelling the hell out of innocent civies apparently makes Nazis hungry.

Beast Boy: Assholes.

Of course the guys firing the thing didn't want to actually build the complex so they enacted slave labour from captured prisoners of war to do it for them. Most of them Eastern Slavic people. This wasn't uncommon of course, poor souls from all over Europe ended up in slave labour camps. Pretty much like Concetration camps except they forced you to work and make the weapons of the Reich bigger and badder. Thousands of slave labourers would die from working in Nazi mines, V-weapon factories and building bunkers for the Nazis. The Confederates would be proud.

Confederate Sympathizer: I resent that! We were fighting for our right to suceed!

Beast Boy: And you were fighting to keep your slaves.

Confederate Sympathizer: What? Black people are things!

Beast Boy: You should know something... we're in Detroit.

(Gang of Black people gang up behind Confederate Sympathizer)

Gang Leader: Honkey, you 'bout to learn the meaning of pain.

Confederate Sympathizer: Ah shoot, this is gunna hurt.

(The following scene was too violent to air in this kind of Fanfic)

It wasn't long before the French Resistance informed the Allies of the Nazi weapon's project. They began an operation to try and stop the weapon before it was ever used. The raids were intially unsuccessful against the now named 'London Gun.' It was near completion in july of 1944, when a lucky shot by some Lancaster Bombers with some British made Tallboy bombs came through. This was the World War Two bunker buster, the strongest bomb they had before the Atomic Bomb was made. It gets its name because its damn big.

Beast Boy: (Standing in front of Tallboy standing up on its tail) Damn, thats gotta be at least 21 feet high. I'd hate to get hit with that thing.

Amazingly even these bombs were unable to penetrate the hides of those bunkers inittially. But the British caught a lucky break. The concrete domes covering the shaft were open at the time and three tall boys managed to get inside, unbeknownest to the Allies who continued their bombing raids on the site afterwards. Unfortunately scores of slave labourers were killed. They did not die in vain however. The extensive damage done to the bunker now put their work far behind schedule. The Allies still did not know about this however so they continued to attack the site. In August they launched Project Aphrodite.

Beast Boy: They named it after a Greek Goddess of love?

They wanted to get a bomb in one of those shafts Green Man, do the math.

Beast Boy: You're disgusting you know that?

The mission called for two B-17 bombers, one loaded with explosive to fly as close as they could to the bunker. The crew of the explosives packed one then bailed out and the second bomber would use a radio control stick to fly the plane into the bunker. It did little actual, no more then tall boys and was soon abandoned. Joseph Kennedy Jr., the brother of John F. Kennedy, was actually killed on one of these raids. Therefore sparking many rumours that he was drunk while flying.

Beast Boy: Dude, don't.

Oh give me a break people, its the Kennedys! Tragedy is like a friggin magnet to them! Do you know how many memebers of their family have been killed or have been in involved in questionable activities?

Ted Kennedy: I, err ah... wasn't drunk with that Asian Chick in the car... and ehh, she was dead when I found her... yeah... thats the story. I'm gonna go get a beer.

Why do they all talk like that? Anyway enough dirt on Camelot, they really don't deserve it... most of them. That plae Joe was on exploded anyway so it wasn't his fault. I mean it just blew up, bam, kinda sad really.

Beast Boy: Well you said it yourself, tragedy magnets.

Anyway by the end of August the Germans were forced to abandon the bunker in the face of advancing Allied troops.

Billy: Billy ain't defending no damn giant exploding pipe cannon, I got a life!

(Runs off, Slaves labouers looks on with glee)

Slave: We're free! Finally! Let's go through all their stuff!

Slaves: YEAH!

The guns were dynamited in May 1945, but this wasn't the end of the V3 project. Two smaller guns were made later and fired on Luxembourg and Antwerp. However the guns soon showed a vital flaw in their design.

(Two guns fire over the heads of Billy Numerous and Private Hive)

Billy: Don't you think the guns are getting too hot!

Private Hive: Don't be stupid! They're awesome!

Billy: But the metal is turning red and starting to bend!

Private Hive: But we're firing so many shells! Its hard to even hear over it!

Billy: Billy thinks we need to cool it down!

Private Hive: I think you need to shut up!

(Guns suddenly exploded and send the two flying backwards, landing on their butts)

Billy: Billy Told ya.

Private Hive: Go to hell!

You see, the gun, as we explained, was exploding! With each shot it detonated hundreds of electrically fired charges and it was supposed to do this continously to keep up a non stop barrage. So when those two guns attacking Luxembourg and Antwerp blew, it showed the weapon's fundamental flaw, it heated up too fast. Once that happened the charges would probably begin to smolder under the hot pressure of the gun. When they were fired the weakned steal wouldn't hold up to the blast, the gun would bend, and eventually it would explode! If this weapon was ever used against London its doubtful they could've kept the shelling up for 300 shells an hour. The gun would probably blow up! Worse like any V-weapon, this never would have served anything but scaring some Londoners and possibly making people even more angry at Hitler. Hell the gun is basically a giant pipe! That isn't scary! Thats not something you put on posters! V1 and V2 rockets, those were scary! This is a pipe! A plumber could take it out just by unscrewing a hinge!

(Mustached Plumber takes a wrench and bashes V3 gun)

Johnny Rancid: Hey what are you doing?!

Plumber: Mama mia, I am a sorry. But-a, I just saw the pipe here-a. Shes a broken.

Johnny: Yeah! Cause you broke it!

Plumber: Whoopsie daisy. Me a sorry! Here, have a bomb-omb.

Johnny: A what? (Gets passed a bomb-omb and it explodes)

Plumber: Wa Hoo! (Runs away and jumps down a big green pipe that vanishes into the ground out of now where)

Later...

Private Hive: How come you didn't stop him?

Johnny: I thought the Italians were our Allies.

Private Hive: Their government surrendered idiot!

Johnny: Oh right.

And with that video game reference done with we close with this, Hitler was an unfeeling ass, slave Labour is wrong, the V3 gun would probably explode after repeated firing and it was essentially a very long pipe with a deadly purpose. But thankfully for all Englishmen suffering the Vengeance weapons, that bunker never got to fire a single shot at London.

--

It was hours before Ravenna finally stopped laughing, when she did the aircraft returned to relative calm. As much calm as you can get with two people with vastly different views when it came to politics. It wasn't long before Logan finally got up the nerve to ask her a question about her laughing.

"You don't look like the laughing type," he began "what was with all the seam bursting?"

"Not many things to laugh at in Russia." She explained "When you look at something as stupid as an iceberg carrier and you haven't laughed in what seems like ages, well its hard to keep it in."

"If it means anything when I first heard of the Habbakuk I laughed too." said Logan "Just wasn't as long and loud as that."

"I got a grand tour of the whole ship with an overly chipper captain who thinks that thing is the pride of your Navy," Ravenna explained "it was hard holding it in really. Besides I think that ship served one good purpose, its the first thing thats made me laugh in years."

"Why's that?" Logan asked "Russia can't be completely devoid of jokes."

"No, but its not such funny place as much." Ravenna told him "Not since the war, not since we lost millions of people to the facist invaders."

"Well you get to pay them all back in kind I guess." Logan replied "They torched your country, you torch theirs. Sounds appropriate to me."

"Do you really think its that simple?" Ravenna asked "Your homeland's capital hasn't been on the frontlines facing annihilation. You haven't had to fight in burning city where you can barely move without getting shot by a German sniper. You've only been fighting an enemy that means to dominate and enslave you. We're fighting an enemy that wants to whipe us off the map."

"Its the same enemy," Logan said "can't be all that different? Besides, I've had my share of tough scrapes with the Germans. Kicked their asses everytime, specially on D-Day. Score is 12 Allies, Axis Zip and I'm very skeptical that Hitler actually has the capacity left to hit all three Allied Nation captials plus New York at once. They've lost, we just have to do bit more fighting till they admit it."

"Thats the problem with you Americans," Ravenna said "you think this war is a game. Another chance to boast your military muscle. Meanwhile my people are fighting for their very survival. You don't know the Nazis like I do. They will stop at nothing to achieve whatever means to an end they wish."

"Hey, no one's doubting that you Ruskies have put up a hell of a fight okay." Logan protested "And I'm certainly not doubting they would try to pull some mass offensive out of the bag before this war is done. So far though they haven't be to successful and I'm just skeptical of what they can actually do. As for how evil they are, I know that. No need to tell me about it. Hell I've seen their cruelty and barbarism first hand. Ever heard of the London Gun?"

"The secret Nazi vengeance weapon that fired on England from across the channel in a vain attempt to scare Englans out of the war." Ravenna reiterated "Yes I heard of it. It was destroyed in commando raid shortly after it began firing."

"I was there when it happened," Logan said "hell I was part of the commando team that helped destroy the gun. The bunker wasn't meant to protect it anything but the guns themselves so the fighting wasn't like anything I'm sure expierienced. But man did those SS troopers put up a fight."

--

Mimoyecques, France

August 1944...

Logan's team had parachuted in with the rest of the commando strike force, a few miles away from the actual bunkers that housed the guns. They had begun firing on London a 24 hours ago and several civilian deaths. To stop the gun from causing more Logan and his team were to raid the bunker, kill or capture the Germans inside and destroy the gun. Their advance on the bunker would be covered by yet another bombing raid on the site. The question was why the Germans had suddenly stopped firing the gun. Logan didn't have many specifics given to him on what it looked like but he assumed it would be big. Considering it could fire a shell all the way across the channel.

Whatever the case Logan advanced forward with the Commando team, their destination marked by exploding Tallboy bombs. Logan hoped that one of those things would breakthrough and destroy the gun and the Germans before he had to. Eventually they came upon the target. A machine gun nest sat in front of a large bunker door. Its occupant had obviously gone inside to avoid the bombs. Logan would have to wait for the bombers to pass before they attacked. Eventually the bombing ceased and out from the door of the bunker came a German soldier. He wasn't shaken or even scared. Obviously the bombs had no effect on him. That bunker provided him with all the security he would need. Not tonight tough. He was the only guard on duty, facing off against three squads of fully equipped and highly trained Commandos. Obviously the Germans inside weren't counting on actually defending the bunker too well. Otherwise there would be more guards and more guns. But Logan knew that inside the bunker would be close quarters and thats all the Germans would need to hold them off.

Logan gave the signal for the men to go. Two commandos creeped up ahead of the squad. One took out a M1 rifle and fired a shot that hit the German machine gunner straight between the eyes. He went down instantly. The other commandos then rushed the bunker. Suddenly the metal door swung open revealing another German soldier. He was met with Thompson gunfire and went down. The commandos jumped over his dead body and continued inside. The whole bunker was alerted now. An alarm suddenly went up for the whole compound and the shouts of startled Germans were heard from within. The Germans closed in on the Commandos as hey began to enter the bunker. Logan fired at two men as they came up the stairs.

"Lets find the damn gun and put this bunker out of commision already!" Logan ordered "I don't want to have them calling for back up."

The commandos went down the stairs into the nerve center of the bunker. They came upon a corridor with many doors, obviously the garrison's sleeping quarters. Dozens of sleepy Germans scrambled out firing their guns at the Commandos. One of the men got hit in the leg with an MP-40 round. Logan ran out to save him. Pulling him away from the line of fire and back behind a wall corner, Logan fired at the Germans shooting at them from the doorways.

"Someone get a grenade in there!" Logan ordered

One commando did so as a grenade exploded in front of one of the doorways. The Commandos advanced on the doorway and entered inside. Taking out any Germans left there. German soldiers from the next sleeping area tried to reclaim the ground the Commandos had taken but they quickly cut down. Eventually the hall was clear and Logan's men advanced on to end of the hall where a large metal door seperated them from what the sign said was the control room. One of the commandos banged on the door with his body, bashing it open. Suddenly though he was ripped apart by machine gun fire. One of the operators had set up a make shift MG42 nest. against a couple of crates. Logan pressed himself against the wall and threw a grenade inside. The explosion killed the machine gunner and took out most of the control equipment.

"Lets just hope he didn't call for back up on the radio." Logan said "Let's keep moving."

Their next stop around the corner of the hall was a large room that entered into the dining hall. There were some Germans hiding behind the cover of tables, but they were quickly dispatched. At corridor was an elevator the lead down. With the upper floors pacified they moved down into the bunker.

"I'll lead my squad down the shaft," Logan told the others "you guys stay and keep an eye out for any possible Kraut reinforcements. We'll blow the gun and get out."

With that Logan's team descended into the bunker. Finally, after what seemed like an extremely long descent the doors opened. No Germans stood to oppose them for the moment. But that was subject to change. Logan had the men press up agaisntr the armour door leading to the next room. He had one open it slightly before kicking it the rest of the way. Machine gun fire followed soon after, this one was farther back then the last guy. Logan was beginning to wonder when these guys would quit. He screwed on one of the rifle grenades he brought along and put a blank cartridge inside the rifle. He took a quick shot and the grenade flew back into the room and hit the gun nest square on.

"Go! Go! Go!" He ordered

They now entered the gun bunker itself. When Logan laid his eyes on it he was surprised. It was just a long pipe, not at all what he pictured. The Nazis had to be desperate to think that this could help them win the war. He could see by the smoking metal that the chamber had gotten hot during firing and they had been forced to stop in order to keep it from over heating and possibly exploding.

_'Too bad for them I've come to fix that.'_ He thought

Logan had the men ready the dynamite charges on the gun while he checked the back room of the bunker. There he found an ammunition store behind one door, a few timed dynamite charges here would send the whole bunker sky high. Putting that thought aside a moment he went up to the second door in the back. There he heard shouting from someone behind it. German, sounded like he was yelling at something on the radio. Not wanting to risk a chance of the Kraut calling back up he busted down the door. He saw an SS Officer, recognizable by his uniform, on radio transmitter. The officer reached for his luger, but Logan was faster. He fired square at the officer taking him out.

"One less of Himmler's boys in the world." Logan said, looking back at the men "Charges set?"

"Yes sir!" Answered one "We're ready to blow this baby."

"One moment." Logan said taking out his own charge. He set it for five minutes, like the guns themselves, and threw it into the room with the ammo stores. "Okay, start your timers and lets get the hell out of here!"

The commandos piled back into the elevator and pressed the up button frantically. A few minutes later they reached the top.

"Everyoen out! Its gonna blow!" Logan ordered

The commando squads got themselves out of the bunker and rushed for the safety of the treeline. As they reached it, the guns exploded violently, putting the entire bunker complex ablaze.

"London's no longer under the gun boys." Logan said

Everyone groaned at his remark

"Oh come on that was a good one!" Logan tried to defend himself

--

"Later me and the boys found the slave camp that the Nazis were using to build the damn bunker." Logan told Ravenna "Bunch of poor dead and dying people. Damn glad to see someone not wearing SS uniforms. We told them the bunker was blown and that the bastards running it were dead. They were pretty damn happy. Best of all when the news broke the gun was blown the Germans pulled out of the area. No reason to protect something that was no longer there. We got the labourers back to Allied lines and some good medical attention. Me and the men saved a lot of lives that day and got a close up at Nazi Barbarism.

He gave a harsh look at Ravenna.

"So don't you say I treat this war as a game okay." He told her "I want to take down Hitler's thugs as much as the next guy. You went through hell, maybe your reasoning is to go cold and just focus on revenge. For me I have to look on the brightside, be positive, make a joke now and then. Otherwise, I'd probably just go nuts."

Ravenna didn't seemed interested in berating him for his comments, instead she apologized.

"I'm sorry for making assumptions then Lieutenant." She said "I shouldn't have assumed."

"Ah don't sweat it." Logan said "Everyone assumes too much sometime or another. Just trying to let you know I'm taking this thing seriously,"

This would've been more then enough for Ravenna to start liking the Lieutenant, probably even respecting him. He actually seemed be somewhat more mature then most of the stories of American soldiers let on, it made her smile slightly. He would've probably ended any tension between the two right there... but then he ruined the moment.

"Also I thought telling you that story would show you that you have one hot American soldier to help you out against the Japs." He said "Plus, I heard somewhere Russian girls like war stories."

Ravenna's face became flat and monotone again.

"Charming American wit." She said "For once Moscow describes something accurately."

"Well they gotta get something right." Logan replied to the comment "So, what about you? Got any war stories."

"Plenty," She began "all of them painful memories of friends lost and showcasing the horrors of war. Would you like to hear one of them?"

"You're gonna be a downer I jsut know it." Logan told her "Fine, lay one on me. We got time to kill before we reach the Pacific anyway."


	11. Chapter 11

A Note to Kraut Lover: Your review was removed for sympathizing with Adolf Hitler and the Nazi Regime. As for your comments, if you were paying attention their technology was advanced but most of it was crude, barbaric and intended for evil purposes. Developing rocket power and ushering in the jet age had a high price to pay because of it, more so then it should have been.

This is a Warning to all Nazi Sympathizers, if I see you making comments I deem inapporiate I shall remove your review and block any further reviews by your server. Heil your mustched dickwad of a dead Austrian Anti-Semite bastard somewhere else cause you ain't doing it here. I am not going to allow my story to become a forum for Nazi sympathizers like You Tube's WWII videos have. Thank You.

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Chapter 11: Its Burns Us! It Burns Us!

This chapter cheats a bit, but only a bit. We're going to talk about an underused weapon of the second world war, underused for good reason, strapping it on was essentially strapping on a giant flammable bomb to your back! We're of course talking about the flamethrower.

Atlas: (Pulls up a Flamethrower) Bitchin'!

We'll now show you what happens to a person when a flamethrower is shot.

(Bullet hits flamethrower pack and explodes Atlas runs around screaming)

Atals: AHH! AHH! AHH! I'm gonna die! AHHH! AHH! Someone get some water!

Idiot, you're a robot remember!

(Atlas stops running)

Atlas: Oh yeah, never mind. (Walks off still on fire)

So as you can see you do not want to get hit in your Flamethrower's back pack. It was one of the reasons that led to the weapon's eventual decline as a weapon used by the militaries of the world. That and it was seen as inhumane vy some people and useless at long ranges. However there is no law in the US that has strictly banned the American Army from using the weapon, the military just doesn't allow it in the arsenal anymore.

Beast Boy: Well at least no one has to worry about getting burned alive on the battlefield anymore.

Raven: I'm sure thats something every soldier thanks god for at night. Although getting shot isn't pleseant either.

Beast Boy: Hey, better then burning to death.

Raven: Look I've died once, I should be the one saying what kind of death is more preferable. I'd rather avoid being killed in either fashion.

What is the point of this arguement?

Beast Boy: None, its just a topic we sometimes deviate into.

Raven: Just like Tofu and Video Games and horror books. Our conversations seem to always go along those lines eventually.

Whatever, now back to the flamethrower. All of the big three Allies (Russia, Britain, America) and Germany had flamethrowers. All of them had the same basic design, a back pack where the fuel was kept, a gun like device where the fuel was ignited and a hose that connected the two components. The weapon was only good at close quarters, effective against fortified enemy positions and extremely useful in enacting a scorched earth policy.

Beast Boy: As if that wasn't obvious enough by the term 'Scorched Earth.'

While many of the other flamethrowers dissapeared from history, America continued to use them until the end of the Vietnam war. Now if you want the weapon you can buy it in some US states, but you'll never be issued one in the army... ever.

Raven: Wait a sec, you can still buy flamethrowers in the states for civil purposes?

Yeah, controlled burns to stop forest fires, once used by US troops to clear snow and of course by many major rock bands.

(Beast Boy rocks out on guitar before flamethrower shoot out fire across the stage and he smashes the guitar on the ground)

Beast Boy: Thank you Detroit! Goodnight!

Person in Crowd: This is Cleveland!

Beast Boy: Hey give me a break, I was close.

Raven: You were off by at least four states.

Beast Boy: Why do you enjoy ruining my attempts to cover up my ineptitude of the State cities?

Raven: Its fun. But this still doesn't make sense, what would anyone need a flamethrower for?

Self-defence?

Raven: Its a gun that shoots flames, thats gonna set you, the house and the intruder on fire.

Beast Boy: At least he won't get your stuff.

Raven: Your logic is priceless Beast Boy. Ridiculous but at the same time makes a strange roundabout point.

Beast Boy: You know thats why you love me.

Raven: Again, ridiculous but at the same time makes a strange roundabout point.

The weapon found its way into popular culture, in many games and of course movies such as the first Alien film. Although Hollywood has to keep its actors safe by using propane gas instead of liquid fuel, so the way the flame looks is slightly different, although of course better controlled.

Beast Boy: Maybe the US Army should have thought of that.

Raven: Please do not give them any ideas.

Beast Boy: Hey just saying.

Flamethrowers in the hand would usually be a death trap for those using them on the battlefield and under fire. Spontaneous combustion was something no armour protection could protect you from. So some people thought of a different strategy, make flamethrower tanks.

Beast Boy: Oh hell yeah!

Raven: This is turning into a such a guy fan fic.

Nonsense, if this was a really guy fanfic you would be in incredibly small bikini.

Beast Boy: Its not too late you know.

(Raven smacks BB across the head)

Raven: Behave yourself.

Beast Boy: Yes dear.

Flame Tanks were less dangerous to operate then actual flamethrowers, considering that they did not require you to load several gallons of exploding fuel on your back. They also had a longer range then the backpacks and carried more fuel. Like their infantry used counterparts they were good against infantry and fortified positions. However they had the fatal flaw of being out of range of some of the more powerful anti-tank weapons of the war. In the open battlefield it was far less effective. So the flame tanks were best suited to assualts on yrban areas or anything involving close quarters combat.

The Allies used flame tanks specifically in Operation: Overlord (D-Day) and on Iwo Jima. They were surprisingly effective in combat for both campaigns. Germany on the other had only experimented briefly with flame tank technology. The idea was later discontinued because of its mixed effectiveness on the battlefield.

Control Freak: Nuts! Looks like no cool tanks for us huh?

Gizmo: Oh well, lets go work on some exploding rocket planes.

(Bro. Blood comes through the door)

Bro. Blood: Don't be so sure, looks like we've just been asked make several flame tank squadrons ready for battle.

Control Freak: The hell? Rage just said Germany stopped making them.

Bro. Blood: Hey don't ask me what the frig is going on, I'm just sending the messages. Now hurry up and make some fire spitting tanks. Oh the order form says we have to call them Panzer Dragons.

Gizmo: The hell?

Bro. Blood: Just reading it off the order form.

There were two flame tank variants for the Allied Sherman called the M4A3R3 and the M4 Crocodile. The Churchil tank also had a variant called the Churchill Crocodile that used a hooked on trailer to carry its fuel. The M4 Crocodile had a similar design but the fuel tank went over its hull. The Russians also had their own Flame Tank, designated the OT-34. Essentially it was a T-34 with its hull machine gun replaced with an internally mounted flamethrower.

(Red Star sits in OT-34)

Red Star: Holy Caviar on crackers with Vodka! That is friggin' Awesome!

(Red Star fires the flamethrower into a nearby German held bunker and the Germans run out sreaming and on fire)

German Soldier on fire: Dear god! Its happening again!

Second German Soldier on Fire: When will the madness stop!

Red Star: Wow, Deja Vu. Oh well, its kick ass deja vu.

So the OT-34 seems to be capable of taking out tanks with its main gun and killing soldiers in fortified postions with its flamethrower. A nice marriage of the two weapons I must say. Unfortunately the OT-34 did not see much combat in the war. After Stalingrad and Kursk it was essentially a slaugtherhouse for the Germans on the Eastern Front. But if this Variant held up to the standards that all T-34's had it most likely would have been as effective as a flame tank as its Western Counterparts.

Raven: So where does that leave flame tanks today?

Seen only in video games and pop culture, Flame Tanks dissapeered shortly after WWII. Kinda like the Super-Heavy only this weapon had an actual use.

Beast Boy: I still would like to use one of those.

Raven: Thats because you're a guy. For some reason fire and explosions appeals to you.

Beast Boy: This is true, and therefore I shall try to defend myself against that argument. But it would still be awesome just to have that thing at the next Super Hero camp out. We could roast weenies and marshmellows in seconds!

Raven: I'll never understand your thought process Beast Boy, ever. Although I do admit it would liven up those rather boring camp outs.

Robin: Hey, you don't like them then don't come. Its an important event for us to disscuss how we could improve in our jobs as heroes and get in touch with nature.

Bast Boy: I'm all down with the second part but when we start going into bussiness when we should be on a break it just makes the night a drag.

Raven: I can barely read with you yapping on about how we need a better communications system between both towers and how we need to establish a few more teams up north and down south. And when you started talking about a space station then it just got too damn serious.

Robin: Fine, waste your lives just stopping crime with minimal resources. I'm gonna get those permission forms from NASA.

Beast Boy: Boring, hey Rae wanna go see a movie?

Raven: Sure.

(Both leave)

Robin: Why does no one take my work to improve the work Teen Super Heroes?

Because its stupid.

Robin: Go to hell.

Whatever, we said all we can about Flame Tanks, no to see them in action in the story!

Control Freak: One second there, did you order to get us working on more Flame Tanks?

No, I can't say I did. I'm just in charge of narrating and demonstrating the weapons in a humourous fashion. I have nothing to do with you making weapons.

Gizmo: Then who the hell ordered the flame tanks?

Beats me, find out in another Chapter.

---------------------

Ravenna hadn't said anything for a couple of minutes after Logan asked her for one of her own war stories. She seemed to be thinking which one was the least disturbing to re-tell with the way she looked at her feet for that amount of time. Finally she spoke.

"I was initially just an ordinary peaseant girl," she began "living my life like anyone would in the country. Until the Fascists came and burned my home to cinders. My story isn't too original though, since a lot of people probably went through the same thing. I lost everything in that attack, my possessions, my home, my Family, my friends, everything. My Mother forced me to leave when I still had the chance. She tried to hold back the Germans as they raided our home. I don't want to think what happened to her, what they did to her."

Logan saw Ravenna hang her head, obviously not enjoying the revisiting of that day.

"I'm sorry." Logan told her "Didn't mean to open up old wounds."

"The wounds are always open Lieutenant," Ravenna explained "theres no need to feel sorry. I can never forget the sight of my home burning in front of me."

Logan was quickly beginning to rethink his desire to hear a war story from her. From the looks of this it was going to be downer, for everyone on board the C-47. Out of respect he decided maybe he should let Ravenna stop telling him about her story.

"You don't need to tell me if you don't want to." He told her

"Its only fair I do tell you." Ravenna said "After all you shared one of your stories. Might as well tell you had I got where I am today."

"Whoa I didn't tell you that much." Logan told her "You don't have to-"

"Please just let me finish." Ravenna asked him

Logan decided that he should just listen to her.

"I later found myself behind German lines." She continued "Just a few miles outside of Moscow. I needed to get myself out of there before I ended up their prisoner. A fate I considered worse then death. I managed to make my way into one of the small town on the outskirts of Moscow. There I saw a German Motar team pounding at the Russian line. I found a rifle laying next to a dead Russian soldier and with my mother's face in my minds' eye I shot the two Germans as they loaded another one. The bullet went through the first one's head and then penetrated the second one's heart."

"I'm guessing thats the point when you decided to join the army huh?" Logan asked

Ravenna nodded

"I saw that I my mother didn't die in vain." She said "By killing those Germans I saved the lives of who knows how many of my Comrades that were pinned down by that motar. I saw a way to punish them for they had to my people and to my mother. So I joined up with the Sniper core and have been killing Fascists ever since."

"Wait a sec," Logan asked "if you joined up with the Sniper core how come you're Agent Ravenna and not Captain and or Sergeant or something."

"My actions were noticed by high ranking officials in the Special Operations Division." Ravenna told him "Of course that was only after Stalingrad."

"Stalingrad?" Logan said astonished "You were there?"

"Very few Russian Soldiers weren't," she told him "and fewer soldiers were ever the same after it ended. The time I spent in that city felt like an eternity."

------------------------------------

Stalingrad, September 12th 1942...

Ravenna huddled in the mass of soldiers as the boat made its way across the Volga. The commissar was shouting over his megaphone to the entire boat about the coming battle. Ravenna just kept her head down as German aircraft and bombs feel overhead. The commissars barely took any notice of them. For some reason, in all the maddness that was going on around the Stukas overhead seemed to be ignoring their boat. Must've been her lucky day.

"Comrades!" The commissar shouted "Today will be a day you shall always remember for the rest of your lives! Today you will fight the Facist Nazi invaders who have pillaged, raped and desicrated our nation! Today you shall punish the Germans for ever setting foot on our soil! Remember Comrade Stalin's orders, 'Not One Step Backwards!' Do not believe the words of the panic mongers, for the Germans are not as well supplied as many think they are. They have stretched their supply line too thin and cannot continue their advance into the Motherland! The Fascists have to capture this city if they wish to cut off our own supply of oil! But they shall fail! You will see to that! Any soldier caught deserting his post, wil be shot! We shall stop the Facist invasion at Stalingrad!"

The commissar pointed at the ruins of the approaching city, the skyline itself seemed to be on fire. Ravenna questioned if the city truely was worth sacraficing herself for now. But whether or not it was was of no concern, she was there to kill Facists and nothing more. That was more then enough to keep the commissar's happy. She didn't care about speeches, she just wanted a gun so she could start giving the German invaders what they deserved for invading her home. If she ever agreeded with an order Stalin had ever given it was 'Not One Step Backwards' because she didn't even consider the thought of doing so, there was nothing to go back to anyway.

As the boat began to approach the docks, more Stukas began approaching overhead. Gunfire straffed the craft, killing a few of the soldiers inside. One commissar tried to shoot at the incoming fighters with his submachine gun. He was quickly filled with bullet holes and collapsed into the ship. Several soldiers tried to escape what they saw was a doomed boat. The remaining commissars pushed them back down. One however got over the side of the boat past the dead Commissar. Within an instant the officers surrouding the soldiers opened fire on the man who jumped ship. Ravenna did not know whether he actually survived their barrage of bullets, but she doubted that they would've stopped shooting if they thought he was alive. It drove home the point to everyone on the boat, there was no going back. They needed to win this battle or die, for Ravenna dying wasn't an option.

They finally arrived at the docks, Ravenna was one of the first to scramble her way out of the boat. She was quickly shoved into a line of her comrades as another officer stood above them on crates shouting out instructions.

"The one without the rifle, follows the one who has the rifle, when the man who has the rifle is killed, the man without the rifle picks up the rifle and shoots!"

The officer would repeat these insturction to ad nauseum for the line, saying variations of the line over and over again.

"One man has the rifle, the other carries ammunition, when the one with the rifle is killed the one with the ammunition picks up the rifle and shoots!"

Ravenna knew that this was a bad situation for her, she was going into battle and she would only have the luck of the draw whether or not she got her gun. She was pushed through the line towards the front. Each person hoping for a rifle, only half of them would be lucky, Ravenna wasn't lucky. Taking her ammunition clip in hand she was pushed out of the line and forced towards the end of the dock past wounded and dying comrades on stretchers. She looked up the grey hill in front of her leading up to the city. It was a barren hill, with Germans ontop of it shooting down with machine guns and motar fire. Fellow soldiers blindly charging into the teeth of the Facist gunners, if Ravenna was to survive she would need to think smarter then they were. Moving from cover to cover of broken walls, Ravenna worked her way up the bank of the docks. A Stuka came low and strafed the hill once, killing a dozen soldiers. A commissar saw it coming back for another run and fired at with his submachine gun. One of the bullets must've hit the pilot cause before Ravenna knew it the plane twisted on its side and crashed on the other side of the hill. There was no time to stop, Ravenna needed to keep going, she needed to make it into the city. Eventually she worked her way to the other side of the hill and managed to crawl into the safety of a bombed out building where the rest of the soldiers were entering.

------------------

"That was essentially how I arrived at Stalingrad." Ravenna told Logan "Later I participated in an assualt on Red Square. Ended up getting seperated from the main attack force and found myself deep in German controlled territory. I managed to grab a gun off one of my dead comrades. I found a house with a German sniper taking aim at some of our troops, he didn't see me sneak up behind him. I shot him in the back and took his scope from his gun. It was a tight fit getting it on my Mosin Nagat though."

"And from that point on you were sniping Jerries huh?" Logan asked "All by yourself?"

"I was too far into German territory to try and go back," Ravenna reasoned "besides I was just following Stalin's order. He said 'Not one Step Back' he didn't say we couldn't keep going ahead on our own accord."

"How long were you alone for?" Logan asked

"A month, maybe a little more." she said "By the time I hooked up with some fellow Russians the Germans were controlling most of the city. Found myself trapped with fellow soldiers trying to repair desperately needed battletanks to fight off the Germans occupying to surrounding factories. I was their last line of defence."

----------------

The Red October Steel Factory in Stalingrad, November 1942...

"German troops in the building to the north of the factory!" Shouted the commanding officer on the factory floor "They're setting up a machine gun nest! We need a sniper!"

"On it!" Ravenna said rushing up to the top floor of the factory "Those Facists are as good as dead!"

"Hurry Ravenna!" The commander shouted "If the Germans take this factory then the rest of Stalingrad will be next!"

Ravenna knew that the situation was dire, the Germans practically controlled 90 percent of the city. This factory was one of their last strong points in the city and if it fell they knew that the city would be next. They did have one last hope. Inside the factory, engineers were furiously repairing two OT-34 Tanks. If they could protect the factory long enough to get those tanks running they could turn the tide of this battle and hopefully secure the area around the factory.

Ravenna took up position in one of the borded up windows of the factory. She took aim at the building across from her. She saw Germans rushing about, only 20 yards away from their position. Ravenna quickly fired on two German's hiding behind some boxes. Quickly taking one out, cocking the rifle and then firing at the second. They were too busy trying to kill the other Russian defenders to notice each other dying. Ravenna then saw the muzzle flash of the machine gun up in the cener window of the building across the street. She fired a round into it, killing the gunner inside.

"Gunner down, relocating." Ravenna called down

She positioned herself in another window, a tactic used by snipers to avoid being noticed by enemy soldiers on the ground. Staying at one window too long is always a bad idea in a combat situation.

She zeroed in on Panzershreck team rushing up from the left corner of the street. She took out the one carrying the gun with a shot to the head. The other German quickly ran off.

"So much for determination." Ravenna said to herself.

Quickly she ducked out of the window's view. As she did a spray of bullets zipped by her. She had narrowly missed the shot of a German soldier. Luckily this gave her enough time to reload her weapon.

"Relocate." She said to herself.

She moved to another window, now looking up the street. The building where Ravenna had shot the machine gun nest, the chattering of the bullets and the muzzle flash had been taken up again by another German. She trainned her sights on the window once again. The shot wasn't perfect from her angle, not yet anyway. She waited for the German to aim the gun towards her angle of the building. When a corner of his face showed she fired and took him out through the eye. But she knew that this was becoming futile. The Germans were coming up the road where her gun was pointed at and she could they had more men then she had bullets.

"Fix that tank already!" She shouted "I can't hold them off forever!"

"We just need to fill the gas tank! One more minute!" The engineer shouted back

"We'll be dead in a minute!" Ravenna repsonded

She fought on regardless, firing at one German after another. Making sure not to waste a shot until they finally stopped running and took cover. When they popped back up she was ready to fire. She had nearly exhausted her rounds in her last cartirdge when suddenly the engiineer called back up.

"Tank is ready!" He shouted banging on the hatch of the vehicle "Burn the fascists!"

The soldiers on the floor quickly opened the door of the Factory and the first OT-34 tank rolled out of the factory into the streets. Ravenna found a spare cartridges from a nearby ammo crate and provided the tank with cover. A panzerschreck user was taking aim at the tank, but she fired and killed him before he took a shot. The missile launched out of its barrel and flew straight into the air. The tank continued its roll out on the street, suddenly its spouted something from its hull machine gun position, but it wasn't bullets. Fire spewed out onto the German positions behind the crates on the small loading dock. It then trained the turret onto the German held building with the amchine gunner. Another blast of fire shot out in a continuing stream, soon the second floor of the building was on fire. The German machine gunner now taking the place of the last two would face a worse fate then his fallen friends. Ravenna saw through her scope that the gunner was looking at the floor. Suddenly he dissapeered, downward. He had fallen to his death, into a raging inferno below him.

"Just a taste of what you'll be living with for eternity Fascist." Ravenna said under her breath

With the machine gunner building a flame the Germans fell back as the second tank began to follow its companion up the road. Their destination the German HQ where the attackers had come from, where they would burn it to the ground.

------------------------

"My actions that served two purposes," Ravenna told Logan "it had saved the OT-34 Flame tanks from destruction. Allowing them to press on and destroy the German HQ in that sector. Thus, taking some of the pressure off the Red October Steel Factory. More tanks and vehicles would come for repairs and it strengthed our hold on the area long enough for our counteroffensive to take place. It also showed the usefulness of the OT-34 tanks in urban combat, in the months to come they would help us take out many German strongholds in the future."

"Wow, you're a tough girl aren't ya?" Logan asked "Bet you were glad that you guys eventually won that city huh?"

"I was, as many soldiers were." Ravenna told him "After hearing my story the Special Operations Division contacted me. They wanted me to help search out secret German war plans and weapons deep behind enemy lines. The job wasn't exactly new territory for me, so I accepted."

"And that inevitably leads us pretty much to now huh?" Logan wondered "Wella t least we're in the same boat together now. Neither of us knows much about the war in the pacific. Different terrain, different people, almost different war from what I here on the bulletins."

"You should feel lucky." Ravenna told him "Since the Americans took Iwo Jima people are saying its all over except for Tokyo."

"They haven't secured the Island, still a lot of Japanese hiding out there." Logan told her "Thats something the press won't tell ya. Besides, if your intel is right and the Japs are getting German weapons then we're screwed rightly in the ass. Any idea of what the target island is like?"

"Its a small one off the coast of the main island." Ravenna explained "Out of the way and out of the ordinary. I don't know much otherwise."

"Well whatever the Japs have on that island we better be ready." Logan said "Lucky me I have a seasoned sexy Russian army girl helping me out on this one."

Ravenna just grimmaced

"Your American additude never changes, even when you try to sound serious." She told him "At least you called me seasoned, that show you respect me as a soldier now. Just try and keep that bravado under control when we face the Japanese."

Logan couldn't help but smile slyly.

_"Oh yeah, she digs me."_ He thought to himself.

--------------------------------

For those wondering what our next weapon of war is here's a hint, look up the theme song to M.A.S.H.


	12. Chapter 12

Sorry it took so long to update, I was trying to do two chapters in one and get the Japanese storyline over with... but it looks like I've delayed too much. Please enjoy the suicide jokes... morbid as they are.

* * *

Chapter 12: Suicide is Painless,

Except for the part where the Plane Explodes.

And now we head over to the Pacific campaign theatre, a battlefront that was almost an entirely different war from the one in Europe. It was fought bitterly between two world powers that completely and utterly hated each other. One was Fanatical Imperial nation run by Military hardliners who believed themselves invicible, the other a nation that was completely pissed off because of a certain unwarranted attack on their home soil that would later be adapted by Micheal Bay into a crappy predictable WWII romance movie starring Ben Affleck. Japan and America respectively would wage war against each other in a bloody campaign that would cost millions of lives for both combatants. And for this story the Empire of Japan shall be represented by the Brotherhood of Evil, which is lead by a gay brain and his equally gay Ape friend.

The Brain: Go to Hell.

Just be glad I'm just making you wear the uniform, if I wanted to I could force you to wear giant black glasses and buck teeth. However that is racist as evident by a performance from Mickey Rooney.

Mickey: (Wearing Japanese Stereotypical buck teeth and glasses) Me So Sour! Me flying dicky!

(Audience does not laugh)

Mickey: Well you were laughing in 41, jerks.

Anyhow, the weapon of today demonstrates Japan's complete desperation and fanatical will to win a war that was all but lost in the closing years of the Pacific Campaign. At the beginning of the war the Japanese believed themselves invincible. Flushed with victory at Wake, the Phillipines and in other battles against America they thought that they themselves were undefeatable. This was called the victory disease by American military planners.

The Brain: All your base are belong to us!

Japanese Soldiers: BANZAI!

Japanese Soldier 1: Does anyone else feel a bit bloated and sick from all these victories?

Japanese Soldier 2: I tend to just ignore it and continue thinking of ways to shame American POWs.

And then of course came the Battle of Midway and the sinking of four Japanese carriers.

The Brain: Crap, we got F'ed in the A.

Why the hell are you talking like that?

The Brain: Mallah suggested we bring recruitment levels up by appealing to a younger demographic.

Mallah: Unfortunately he has no street speak skills.

The Brain: F--k off Mallah!

The Disease persisted throughout most of the war, until it became very obvious to everyone in Tokyo things were going down the crapper. That was made evident by the fact they were getting bombed by B-29's daily.

The Brain: They better not hit my Sake stash or there will be hell to pay!

(Explosion rocks the city)

Mallah: They missed your stash... but they took out the Sake Brewrly instead.

The Brain: Oh F--k! I hate those stupid airplanes! Why can't they let me drink in peace!?

Mallah: Also the bombers dropped some propaganda leaflets. They all say that Sake is for pussies.

The Brain: Thats it! They can kill all the civies they want and run our war effort into the ground but when they make fun of Sake they've crossed the line!

The Japanese believed they could turn the tide, and they believed the answer lay in an old Japanese legend, the Kamikaze or 'Divine Wind', a legend that goes back to earliest days of Japanese history.

Beast Boy: Flashback!

Ancient Japan once faced immenient destruction from a fleet of Mongol warships, all packed to the gills with bloodthirsty Mongolians all ready to start pillaging the land of the Rising Sun.

Mongols: Pillage! Pillage the Village!

PR Consultant: You know this whole Nomadic pillage and rape thing is very bad for our image. Maybe we should consider winning the hearts and minds of the Japanese people or perhaps a sedentary life style.

(Mongols all look at him deadpanned until one of them chops off the PR guy's head and throws the dead body over the ship's side)

Mongol: All right lets get back to war cry practice.

Mongols: Pillage the village!

But miraculously the Japanese were saved by a freak storm, called the Kamikaze, that destroyed the Mongol Fleet.

Japanese Forecaster: We're expecting a heavy downpour and 200 mile per hour winds. Which means theres a 95 percent chance of sunk mongol ships and dead bodies floating up on shores for tommorow. Damn am I glad that we got the forecast right for once.

In World War II waiting for the weather to take out the Americans was not an option so they created a man made Kamikaze, suicide airplanes.

The Brain: Deliberately sacraficing young men's lives for a cause that we all know is futile by telling them to strap on explosives and fly straight into an enemy warship. Nothing could fill my evil heart with such joy.

That would be so much more evil and scary if your voice wasn't like Stephen Hawking.

The Brain: Go to hell, I can't help if I'm forced to talk through a voice box.

The basic Kamikaze aircraft was any Japanese airplane that could still fly. Zero Fighters and Val Divebombers were among the most popular but the Japanese had other devious suicide attack weapons that intended to use when America invaded the main Japanese island. The idea seemed to be that if the Japanese military was to go down then it would go down fighting. Which oddly enough is the theme behind the first Rocky movie. Not that we're comparing Stallone's boxer morals to that of Sucidal fighter pilots, just that it sorta reminds me of that.

Stallone: If I was in the same room as you I'd slug ya.

Which one of the reasons I'm glad you're too busy making Rambo 4 to try.

Stallone: We'll see about that.

(Stallone takes off in search of General Rage in a river boat up the stream of Vietnam)

Sucker, like I'd be caught dead in Commie Land. Anyway back to the Kamikaze, while the image of a Zero slamming headlong into an American Destroyer is what most of us associate with the Kamikaze, the Japanese had other methods of killing their own soldiers and taking out as many Yankees with said soldier. One method had the idea of loading a Betty bomber with enough Thermite to burn a hole straight through a carrier.

Betty Bomber Pilot: Wait, what happens to me?

Well you obviously die a quick and painless death when you crash... unless of course you survive the intial impact then the thermite will probably burn a hole straight through your chest cavity and cause you to die a horrible and gut wrenching death. Either way you die but you help save Japan from being carpet bombed.

(Betty Pilot has now jumped out of the bomber)

The Brain: Pussy.

However, it wasn't easy to always get a Kamikaze to sink a ship. Besides other fighters, ship defences and American Radar telling them where you're coming from you can't just expect to slam into a ship and take it out. Torpedoes and bombs are designed for that, not the planes. So the Japanese thought of a better idea, make a plane that works like a bomb.

Japanese Pilot: I have better a idea, why not make a bomb that flys like plane. You know like the Germans did.

Mallah: Sorry, thats not as honorable as giving your life for your country.

Japanese Pilot: Well I love the Empire and all, but you see I kinda promised myself that I wouldn't really have to actually die in the course of protecting it. Maybe get a foot wound or some nasty cuts, but never die. Also I think I'm allergic to suicide.

Mallah: I respect your convictions, and for that I shall Torpedoite you.

Japanses Pilot: Huh?

(The pilot is loaded into a torpedo and blasted off into the sunset)

The Japanese knew that if they could get an aircraft that could go as fast a missile and have it loaded with enough explosives they could easily take out America's Naval Fleet. Which is why they created the Ohka, translated it means Cherry Blossom, strange name for a suicide weapon don't ya think? It was a manned cruise missile that was to be launched from the bottom of Betty Bomber, glided towards its target and then rocketed straight towards the enemy ship! Armed with a 1200 kg warhead the weapon could easily take out enemy ships. However the Ohkas didn't achieve the glorious kill scores the Japanese military hoped. Only three ships were sunk or beyond repair by the Ohka attacks, three more recieved minimal damage. Worse, the pilots in the Betty bombers carrying the Ohkas rarely made it back to home base after releasing the Ohkas. The Japanese therefore sacraficed more then just the Ohka pilots. The weapon's failure to destroy the American fleet meant the Imperial government of the Japanese had wasted the lives of these men in a vain attempt to win a war that even they knew was lost, not that they would admit it.

The Brain: Cie La Vie, its no different the United States asking its Nation's sons off to war.

Beast Boy: I don't think the American War policy ever became "waste as many US Soldiers' lives as possible" buddy.

The Brain: Give me a break, you know I'm an evil bastard already.

The American Navy dubbed the Ohkas, Baka Bombs. Baka means foolish or stupid in Japanese, but a more appropriate term for these bombs would have been-

Madame Rouge: Retared, pathetic, Emo?

Fanatical is the term i'm looking for. Your suggestions are a misconception, the people who flew sucide missions in the Japanese Air and Naval forces were not emo. They were mostly fanatics, they believed their actions would save Japan and ignored all the obvious facts that they were losing. Which is why the Japanese pilots who abandoned their aircraft so far in to this Fanfic would have most likely never have been in the driver seat of a Kamikaze vehicle. Instead a more accurate picture would be one such as this.

Kamikaze: Glory to emperor! Glory to Japan! BANZAI! BANZAI! All shall honour our sacrifice!

The Brain: Its so easy to get suckers like this to do your dirty work.

(Pilot walks in on the Brain)

Pilot: Sir I was wondering, since you're running this whole sucide project... when are you going to go through with your own suicide mission?

The Brain: You crazy? I'd get killed! Thats you, the pathetic lowly miserable henchman's job!

Pilot: Well it would only be fair if you yourself gave your life to defend the country like we're willing to do.

The Brain: I would but Mallah and I have a date. We are going to be rowing down the river and watch the Cherry Blossoms fall. Speaking of which your flight leaves in an hour. Drink your last bit of Sake and get moving.

Giving the the Kamikazes credit they never attacked civilian targets, but not every Japanese soldier is innocent of that, and they were doing the only thing they thought they could to save their country. But the problem with an all suicidal airforce is that loose good pilots and waste money on an aircraft that can only be used once. Its a poor barabaric strategy that takes advantage of young men who are deluded into dying for something that you have brainwahsed them to believe, that Japan could not be defeated and that they could save it by dying. Many Far-right wing Japanese citizens and politicians say that Japan should honour the sacrafices of these young men. I say they should instead charge the people who came up with this whole Kamikaze thing with murder. It doesn't help the ultra-right wing's case when they say Japan never commited any war crimes against American POWs, that there was no rape of Nanking, that they never forced Koreans to become comfort women, that Japan was not seeking Imperial domination of the Pacific but rather trying to liberate it and essentially Japan never did one single thing wrong.

Beast Boy: Well thats a bunch of bullcrap.

If it helps any, the Japanese government has come out and said that what the Ultra-right wings say about the war is not the official story that the Government has issued. They just don't think they should shut them up. But come on, how is invading China and subjagating thousands of square miles trying to liberate anything? Sheesh, even the Germans were more modest about their intentions then the Japanese. Imperial Empire of Japan people, does that scream liberation and Free Asia to you?

The Brain: Can we get back to the Kamikazes please?

Fine more mindless suicide jokes. Okay, so the Ohka was a failure that didn't mean they were done with it in the Kamikaze program. They began work on other variants for the Ohka as well as new jet propelled suicide craft.

Madame Rouge: America never gives up thinking of ways to harm the Japanese people and niether do we.

The Brain: You know someone could hear that quote and take it totally out of context of what you were trying to say causing a political backlash and several conspiracy theories to pop up.

Madame Rouge: Uh, theres a difference, the person who said the original quote is a poor public speaker and makes many spelling and grammatical errors, I however actually meant to say what I just said.

Yes I know I just made a friggin Bush joke, I can't help it if he says things that make him look stupid. The proper term I think he was looking for was 'niether do we in finding ways to harm the Terrorists.' Of course this must be because I'm part of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, a conspiracy that have apparently not even sent me a check after all these years. Do you sense sarcasm in that statement?

Wow, I just wasted all that time expanding a simple Bush joke, where were we? Oh yeah suicide planes. Taking the V1 bomb design into account, the Kaiwanishi Pulsejet plane was designed to work like a normal jet fighter... except like the Ohka it was meant to be used once. You know because the plane is supposed to explode. It would not have to be carried like the Ohka, but did not have as big a warhead and was not as fast. At least they could eliminate having to use bomber crews to get the planes into position, thus saving lives of Japanese pilots... except the unfortunate soul on the actual plane.

Pilot: Can't we make a reusable suicide plane? That would be cheaper right? And I wouldn't have to die.

Mallah: You're making it worse on yourself you know, everytime you ask a stupid question I have load more explosives into your ship to make up for your dishonor.

Pilot: Is it too late quit the air force and join the Navy?

Mallah: You can but they have their own suicide forces.

Pilot: Oh come on!

Yes the Japanese navy and airforce were both working together to get what little planes they had left to help in Kamikaze raids. They combined what litgtle they had left on their carriers and at their airfields, pilots and planes alike. But it wasn't just airplanes that got into the game, they had other suicide weapons as well. One known as the Kaiten (Reverse Destiny) Suicide torpedo, a manned guided torpedo. They were designed to be launched from the ship and while earlier batches had escape hatches those were eventually removed. Not that you could've ever gotten out and survived anyway. You were underwater going 78 kmh at the most. The water would've probably been sucked back into your lungs before you got to the surface... or your neck woulda snapped before then.

Madame Rouge: Enemy ships approaching, get in the Kaiten henchman!

Henchman: But I don't wanna go in there.

Madame Rouge: Well thats something you're just going to have to accept.

(Henchman trudges into the torpedo)

The Kaiten weren't very successful, American sources say they only sunk two American ships, Japanese sources say they got more. But those are probably-

Beast Boy: The same people who claim Japanese soldiers never raped, murdered or forced prisoners on death marches and into slave labour. We know.

Just reiterating, the navy also employed full fledged suicide subamarines called Kairyu (Sea Dragon) and they were designed for a special purpose, to attack the invading American Fleet. They had all the requirements you need to get a submarine working, periscope, engine, power supply, the whole deal. But they were mini-subs, different from the Kaiten. They could lay in wait for their targets for longer periods of time because they were more sub then torpedo. The two man crew inside could ram into or get close to an Allied ship and then detonate the 600 kilograms of explosives packed inside. Used effectively it could have blown up a good deal of American landing boats had an invasion ever occured. However Hiroshima and Nagasaki took care of that.

The Brain: Too bad, the explosion would have been sweet.

The Kairyu never saw action against invading Americans, but there was a surface craft that did. Called the Shinyo it was a speedboat designed to slam straight into American ships and explode. They had the explosives attached to their bow, so the full impact of the boat and explosion would be enough to breech the hull of the enemy ship.

Beast Boy: Oh, how much damage can a little speedboat do?

There were 6,200 Shinyo produced for the Japanese navy and 3000 for the army. No doubt they were thinking of making more. Imagine an entire fleet of super fast boats pummeling head on into an American Destroyer, thats the equivilant of getting hit by dozens of Torpedos all at once. You take enough damage from those your ship is a gonner

Beast Boy: Yeesh, okay they can do a lot of damage.

They sunk a handful of American landing craft in the later stages of the war, imagine if they were fully deployed against the Americans had they invaded the main island. It would have been a bloodbath.

Beast Boy: This is suppose to be a funny fanfiction, why do I feel so down?

We're talking about fanatical suicide, its only natural to feel down after awhile. But to lighten things up here's a parody of Miami Vice... starring the Shinyo!

Announcer: And now back to Tokyo Bay: Shinyo Patrol!

(Shinyo speeds down the waterways of Tokyo bay after drug smugglers)

Sonny: Rico, they gonna get away!

Rico: Not if I have anything to say about it!

(Shinyo accelerates within a few inches of the smuggler ship)

Smuggler 1: Why aren't they shooting us or something?

Smuggler 2: I don't know.

(Shinyo hits smuggler boats and both watercraft explode. Later at a memorial service, Rico and Sonny's names are displayed on tombstones.)

Cheif of Police: Rico and Sonny were some of the greatest police men I knew. Of course both of them couldn't keep down a relationship and some of the evidence they confiscated went missing very suspiciously, but other then that they were good cops. In their last act they took down a boat smuggling thousands of kilos of fresh cocaine... but in the process they destroyed all the evidence and the we had to pay compensation to the families of the dead smugglers in a lawsuit... but other then that we honor their sacrafice.

There was one more suicide designation, underwater suicide divers called the Fukuryu. (Crounching Dragons, and before you start making puns there are no hidden tigers in contrast to crounching dragons. Besides thats not the title of the movie anyway.) The divers were to go underwater, walk along the bottom, find a ship in shallow water and then stick a mine attached to a bamboo pole on the bottom of the boat killing themselves in the process. Yet another plan to stop invading American forces. While no actual combat deaths happened there were training accidents that caused some deaths. Wait a second how do you train to commit suicide via mine?

The Brain: Just tap the mine lightly to the ship!

Diver: This thing isn't live is it?

The Brain: Of course not! Just do it! I'll be behind this lead shield.

Diver: Okay!

KA-BLAM!

The Brain: We're gonna need another a diver!

(Dinosaurs in a living room laugh with enjoyment)

If you didn't get that reference to a popular sitcom starring giant lizards, then thats a real shame. So what was the end result to all these Kamikaze attacks? Well the reports are sketchy, ranging from 80-43 sunken or damaged beyond repair ships its hard to say that this strategy was doing anything but wasting manpower, in total about 3,912 pilots from both Naval air services and the Japanese airforce died for a lost cause. Had the Americans invaded the main island even more Kamikaze attacks would have been carried out, costing more lives. Even some of the quotes by the Kamikaze pilots themselves are distressing. One of the first official Kamikazes was claimed to have said that if Japan was gonna waste its best pilots then its future was bleak, that he was not doing this for the Empire but because he was ordered to and many thought it was stupid that they had no choice in the matter, because they were told the emperor had chosen them to die for their country.

All in all the blame cannot be rested on shoulders of the men in those fighters and suicidal boats, the blame should be rested on the military planners and leaders who decided that they could throw away so many lives so needlessly in an effort to stop an enemy that was vastly superior in strength to them by now. So the final verdict, don't blame the Kamikazes they were just doing their job. Blame the people who forced them to do their job.

The Brain: Men, today is the day you have trainned for. Today you shall plunge deep into the heart of the enemy and strike a blow for emperor that will ensure the survival of our empire and honor your family for all time.

Pilot: You coming with us sir? So you can share the honor?

The Brain: Believe me, I would love to do it myself and go in all your places, but Tojo said I can't.

Pilot: This Air Force sucks.

The Brain: Not for long, since when we're done there isn't gonna be an airforce left! Hell we even got plans to strap bombs to newborn babies and throw them out windows at American troops.

Pilot: Okay really theres a point where you need to draw a line with this whole suicide bombing thing.

The Brain: Tell that to Al Qadea.

(General Rage would like to apologize for any offensive Muslim jokes, but Al Qadea are Religious extremists so they don't count.)

Control Freak: Man am I glad us Germans don't have a suicide program.

Actually you do.

Control Freak: Huh?

But that story is for another chapter.

Control Freak: Wait, who the hell authorized any of this? This absurd!

Bro. Blood: You can always take up your complaints with the scary person behind said door on stage 23.

Control Freak: Why?

Bro. Blood: Well thats where the order for a dozen or so suicide planes came from.

Control Freak: Did you see the person who gave it to you?

Bro. Blood: No, all I could tell was that she had a cold voice and a rather scary uncaring demeanour towards human life.

Control Freak: Well I care a great deal about my human life, especially my own. Come on fellow Villians lets go see who this freakoid is!

Villians: Yeah, alright, sure. Yeah.

Billy: I got nuttin' better to do anyway.

Find out whose telling the Villians what German weapons to build in a coming chapter, for now more story.

---------------------------

The C-47 finally landed at its desitination the American held airfield on a small island, both Logan and Ravenna were quickly transferred from the strip and onto a small PT Boat that took them the rest of their journey to the American Carrier the USS Hornet a few miles north of the airstrip. The carrier has been positioned as a halfway point between the island where Japan was supposedly supplying the Germans with the resources needed to keep their war going. The crew could just see the target on the horizon as they looked out towards it. According to the mission plan Ravenna and Logan would depart from the carrier at night and sneak on to the island using a single landing craft. After that they would be on their own. For now though Logan was just happy he was on a carrier not made out of ice and, more importantly, had no fear of dealing with a smug Ravenna.

After climbing up the mesh netting that was their rope ladder they got to the deck of the ship. They were greeted aboard the Hornet the same way they were on the Habbakuk, except without the oblivious captain as before.

"Lieutenant Logan, Agent Ravenna," the Captain said as they were helped aboard by the crew "welcome to Pacific theatre."

"Thank you Captain," Logan said brushing himself off "I trust you've been briefed on the mission at hand."

"I have," he said "we're willing to help the boys out in Europe as much as we can. Hell if it kills the Nazis faster I just might get more pilots to help me turn Tokyo into rubble when we finally get around to the Jap's main island. But as is the policy of the campaign we go an island at a time, so no need to rush."

"I do hope we aren't pulling you away from your current mission here in the Pacific Captain," Ravenna said "the Lieutenant tells me its been very difficult fighting all around."

"Indeed it has," the captain responded "but at the moment everything depends on Iwo Jima and the boys on that island. I can't really do much at all to help'em out anyway, come with me I'll seetle you in."

As they followed the captain, Logan decided to shift the subject back to the mission.

"Were you able to do a reconaissance flight of the island?" He asked the captain as they began to walk across the deck.

"At first light we sent a single Hellcat over the island." The captain told him "Got a few good pictures before the Japs woke up and sounded the alarm. They're in my cabin I'll show you them."

Logan and Ravenna were lead to the Captain's Quarters, the recon photos stretched across his desk.

"All we know is it has a massive airfield and a hell of a lot of defences." The captains aid as he pointed at the photo "Its huge facility overall, barracks, HQ, bunkers, hangers, fuel tanks, observation towers, probably crawling with Japs and, if your intel is right, a good amount of Germans too."

"Any idea what they got going on there?" Logan asked

"None," The captain said "but whatever it is, its probably big. The airfield is large enough to house plently of bombers and fighters inside. Worse I fear they may have tunneled the whole place out, like Iwo Jima is. So who knows what they got going on there."

"Well its our job to find out," Ravenna told the captain "and blow the place up before it can do anymore damage to the war effort in Europe."

Suddenly the Carrier's siren began to blare, it was followed by frantic order from over the ship's intercom system.

"General Quarters! General Quarters! All hands on deck! Radar has spotted incoming boogies from the island!"

"Or any more damage to us." The Captain said "Lets head up top and see whats going on."

Soon the Captain had lead them to the bridge, outside on the deck pilots were rushing to their planes and crew members were running for their positions on the anti-aircraft guns.

"What do we got?" The captain asked

"Several large blips on the radar sir," the radar officer said "They look like flight of Betty Bombers and smaller escort planes."

The captain had a stern look on his face.

"Baka bombs." He said

"Baka Bombs?" Ravenna asked "What are those?"

"We've been getting intelligence from command to look out for a Japanese Weapon called the Ohka Suicide Plane." He told her "Some kind of jet powered manned missile thats carried under a Betty Bomber and then launched at us. We call them Baka Bombs because Baka means stupid in Japanese. Fitting name I say."

"How do we stop them?" Logan asked

"We don't do anything," The captain told him "its up to the pilots and gunners now."

Logan couldn't see much from his position on the bridge. All he could make out of the coming Japanese bombers were some small black dots on the horizon. American fighter planes began going off the deck and turned to face the bombers. As the enemy planes and American Hellcats got close to one another Logan watched as they engaged the bombers. From what he could see several of the planes caught fire and began plummeting out of the sky. He could barely make out much from this far away, which was probably for the best, but he could at least see one of the Betty Bombers explode into a fire ball. One Bomber however got through the Hellcats and released something from its undercarridge. The object began floating towards the Carrier. As it got closer, Logan saw two hellcats turn and blast the object to bits. There was a large explosion and the object was gone. Logan assumed that the object it was the Baka Bomb. The carrier bomber made a bank for home but was quickly shot down by other hellcats. But something didn't make sense, what about the escort fighters that had been detected?

"Sir," Logan began "how come the enemy fighters didn't engage?"

"I don't know." The captain said, he turned to the radio operator "Get me the lead pilot!"

"The operator clicked on the communication terminal, allowing the captain to pick up a mic and talk to the pilot.

"Captain where are the escorts?" He asked

"I don't know sir." The hellcat leader said "They just banked off to the left when we showed up. Didn't even try and fight us. It was weird."

"I think you should tell your men to find the escorts." Ravenna warned

"Why?" The captain asked "We got their bombers what more is there to do?"

"Why would escort fighters let their bombers die?" Ravenna asked "They didn't even try to defend themselves they just banked away from the bombers."

"You don't think..." Logan asked

"Sir!" The radar operator shouted "The escorts are banking around to the aft of the ship!"

Logan looked over and saw several large black spots suddenly sprout wings and creep ever closer to the carrier, they were moving too fast for prop planes.

"More Bakas!" The Captain shouted

"No those are jet fighters of somekind," Logan told him "actual planes not pilot guided bombs. And if they aren't bothering to shoot back..."

"Kamikaze jet fighters! I should've known!" The captain yelled, he picked up the intercom "Gunners! Fire all you got on our aft, we have an incoming kamikaze jet raid!" He then looked to the radio operator "Call those hellcats back now!"

The jets began speeding towards the hornet. The gunners opened u[ all they could on the incoming aircraft. Flak and machine gun fire perferated the sky. The hellcats booked towards the the carrier as fast as they could but they were too slow to make it in time. Two of the five jets took a hit and went down but three more were still coming.

"If one of those things hits us we're toast for sure." The captain said "How do you hit somethign going that fast!"

"30 seconds till impact sir!" Shouted the operator

"We need to think of something now." Logan said

"Have your men aim a few meters ahead of the aircraft." Ravenna told him

"But-" The captain started

"No time to argue, you're going to get hit anyway, tell them now!" Ravenna shouted

The captain quickly relayed the orders. The gunners started aiming ahead of the jet fighters projected path. One took a flak round as it approached within twenty seconds of the carrier. Another was straffed by machine gun fire as it hit the 15 minute mark and skidded out of control. The last one managed to get past the air defences and was approaching fast over the carrier.

"Brace for impact people!" The captain shouted

The jet started moving in but suddenly veered right. It took a flak round to its engine and miraculously shot of course. It slammed hard into the sea, its explosives detonating on waterfall. The ship rocked back and forth a bit but other then that was unscathed. Logan got himself off the floor as the ship calmed itself. Ravenna helped him up, apparently she had kept herself standing.

"How'd you-" He began to ask

"Know how to shoot them down?" Ravenna asked "When hitting a target on the move you shoot at where he's going to not where he is. Basically when hitting a fast target you think more like a sniper then an ordinary soldier."

"Well good job," The captain said brushign himself off "that quick thinking saved our asses. Look we can't stay in the island's range for long. More Kamikazes are probably on their way. We'll have to move the ship away from the island and reposition it someplace else off the coast at nightfall."

"I understand sir," Logan told him "we'll wait down in the hold for the mission."

"Good," The captain told him "you're dissmissed. I have to see to my ship."

Logan and Ravenna exited the bridge and began working their way back down to the hold.

"Fighting is certainly different here." Ravenna acknowledged "Whole squads of soldiers needlessly sacrificing themselves, what a waste. Reminds somewhat of the way soldiers ran into machine gun fire for no reason at Stalingrad when they should've kept their heads down."

"Why only somewhat?" Logan asked "Both methods are suicidal."

Ravenna gave him a stern look.

"The Russian soldiers who ran headlong into German bullets had little options left." She explained to him "They were running up a hillside with guns barreling down on them and stukas shooting them up. They were trying to survive the best they could, we all were. Some were just luckier then others. These Kamikazes, they're throwing away their lives for what? A whole squadron of planes for a single ship? Maddness. If you think for a second that we would sacrafice our lives for such a insignificant victory then you are gravely mistaken."

Somehow Ravenna knew how to make one feel like an ass for asking a simple question. Logan decided to apologize.

"Sorry." He said "Didn't mean to upset you."

"Your ignorance on how Russia conducts war does not upset me." Ravenna told him "I'd just prefer it if you did not compare me to someone as fanatical as those Kamikaze pilots were."

Ravenna continued to walk away.

"If you'll excuse me," She said "I need to rest up for the mission."

Ravenna left Logan's sight. Now he felt pretty bad about himself. She was a Ruskie sure, but he never meant to sound like he was insulting her fallen comrades. That was something no body should do to another soldier, commie or not. He guessed he should apologise to her for comparing two different soldiers with each other. But not right now, later on before the mission. She just needed to be alone right now.

"Probably needs to think about her dead buddies." He thought


	13. Chapter 13

I apologise for this horrible abseance of updates and hope some of you actually still care about thiss tory because I've been gone for so long. Hopefully the fact I've just uploaded five more chapters can make up for it. I do hope they were worth the wait. After losing my ability to write several times and being held up by school work and the like I can say see that I waited way too long. I apologise most graciously.

* * *

Chapter 13: Air Ninjas of the Rising Sun

Anyone whose tuned in to Japanese TV knows they have some crazy ideas.

Game Show Host: You want Million Dollar? You can win happy smile face Milllon Dollar when you eat... 'Bodily Waste!' You eat waste that comes out human body for lots of mega millionaire dollars! Waste like pee, sweat, snot, spit, loogies, dead skin, vomit and poo-poo!

(Large table with people eating bodily waste is shown)

Host: You eat most food without throwing up yourself and you win million dollar! Bodily Waste! Eat It! (Starts slapping contestant in face as he eats) Mao! Mao! Bodily Waste! Waste is power! THE POWER!

(Teen Ttians look on in disgust)

Raven: Who would watch that?

Starfire: Japanese people?

Raven: Well obviously, but what kind of Japanese people?

Starfire: Japanese people who enjoy eating the refuse of their fellow man.

Robin: You mean like homeless people?

(Other Titans give him stern looks)

Robin: What? Whaaaaaat? Homeless people eat garbage.

Well the concept of Japanese weirdness is not a recent phenomenom. The Japanese had a few strange ideas when it came to designing the Imperial Air Force's planes. So today Robin you're going to be looking at some Japanese prototype fighters, and these are actual fighters because they were not designed to be Kamikaze weapons.

Robin: Might as well, Star says I'm sleeping on the couch tonight.

Sucks to be you. By the way that means GIR is back.

(GIR begins to fall down from the top of the hanger)

GIR: I'm flyinnnnnnggg! (Slams into floor) YAY!

Robin: Oh joy.

Now onto our first Japanese Fighter. Concieved during 1944, a Japanese Military attache in Germany wittnessed the testing of the Me 262. After relaying the information back to headquarters the Japanese Imperial Navy commissioned the Nakajima Aircraft Manufacturers to build them their own jet fighter to help them in shooting down American bombers over Tokyo. It was to be built by unskilled labour and have its wings foldable so it could be hidden in caves and tunnels in defence of the home island. Needless to say the Japanese scientists in charge of the task had a big task ahead of them.

Prof. Chang: I protest to being the Japanese scientist. I'm friggin Chinese!

You're the only Asian we got, deal with it!

Chang: Jerk.

First things first, the Japanese had to make their own jet engine from scratch. After several models they eventually got it working. Now you're probably asking yourselves why Germany didn't just lone them a turbojet engine. Well they tried, but the sub got blown up on delivery so it sucks to be the guys at Nakajima, more so for the sub carrying the engine.

U-boat Captain: I regret nothing... except actually dying.

The Aircraft was named the Nakajima J9Y, or the Kikka for short. It was standard design for an aircraft but at the same time similar to the 262. It had a smaller frame and no swept back wings. Strangely though its landing gear were borrowed from broken Zeros and other aircraft.

Scientist: Why are we using scrap parts?

Chang: Its called a shortage of raw materials caused by American Bombers over Tokyo. Where have you been the last few months?

The delays in actually creating the engine probably led to the Kikka being designated as a 'Special Attacker' instead of its original role as a fighter plane.

Chang: What does special attacker mean?

Brain: Nothing, it just means all your hardwork won't go to waste.

Chang: The name sounds weird. How is an attacker special?

Brain: Its special when it attacks... and stuff.

Chang: I don't quite follow you.

Brain: Look, all we got left are Kamikaze squadrons. What do you think?

Chang: Oh god, you're telling me I've just spent millions of dollars devolping a stupid a plane that you're just going to blow up anyway!

Brain: Essentially yes. Think of it as giving the military a brand new pet goldfish that we don't care for and dies the next day. You'll get over it.

Chang: My hard work is being used to kill Japanese pilots, how can I just get over it?

Brain: When I tell you that unless you do you'll be flying the first one off the tarmac.

(Short silence)

Chang: I'm over it.

Brain: Thought so.

The plane had a few war-time test flights. It did well in its first trial on August 7 1945, except for its incredibly long takeoff. The second test flight four days later had rocket assited take off units installed on the plane to lessen the length of said take off. But unfortunately their positions were miscalculated and the pilot didn't see them go off. He aborted the take off and the plane was damaged when it hit the end of the runway. It had to be repaired before it could try again and by that time...

Chang: We're ready for another test flight, come on people lets get down to the field.

Pilot: Sir, whats that large mushroom like cloud in the distance?

(Chang looks over his shoulder and see mushroom cloud)

Chang: Ah sh-t!

The other variants of the fighter designated Kikka also never went into the test phase. However had the Germans been successful in supplying their Japanese Allies with a working turbojet engine then the Japanese wouldn't have had to scrape around the scrapyard to make their own and they could've gotten a plane that was just as fast and just as powerful as the Me 262. The Kikka's only prototype now resides in America's National Air and Space Museum.

Robin: Isn't it weird that the spoils of war for the United States always seems to be weapons and stuff the enemy had?

Well stealing cash and food is a bit pointless now. So they gotta take something. But the Kikka wasn't the only freaky airplane the Japanese tried to make. In fact they probably made one of the weirdest fighter planes of the war. The Kyushu J7W, or more simply known as 'The Shinden", was a backwards canard designed airplane.

Robin: Canard? The hell does that mean?

It means the tailfins for the plane are located on the nose. The same went for the propellor, it went on the back of the plane.

Robin: The back? Why? Whats the point of that?

It makes the plane more manuverable then most fighter aircraft... or at least thats the assumption. Essentially it was a plane that was designed backwards from the ground up. It could reach speeds of up to 469 mph and was armed with four 30mm Type 5 Cannons. If its manuverability was really as good as they said it was then it could've been a deadly interceptor aircraft. However only two prototypes were ever built and the first flights of the plane were also in August 1945 like the Kikka. Guess what event ended its development?

Robin: Man, Japan's secret weapons came real late didn't they?

Blame it on overconfidence, their assumption of a quick victory or their poor development facilities that were being bombed at the time. Either way the Japanese just didn't have the capacity to create secret weapons. What few advanced planes they could get were slow in development and the Americans had by then achieved air superiority. They just couldn't compete with America's industrial might. Well at least at the time...

Chang: They may win the war, but they shall never defeat our low priced high quality electronics and far superior advances in automobile comfort, customer satisfaction and safety! WA HA HA!

(This joke has been brought to you by the combined efforts of the Toyota and Toshiba companies)

So yeah thats basically it, Japan wasn't the economic powerhouse it is today back in World War II.

Robin: So we won the war against them by essentially not having our factories bombed to kingdom come.

Yes, thats really all that can be said. So we're pretty much done with this segment.

Robin: Wow I went through this entire chapter without that stupid Robot almost killing me.

(Suddenly a Shinden plan begins backing up behind Robin)

GIR: I'm a pilot! WHEEEE!

Robin: Oh crap!

(Robin runs from spinning propellor blades as plane continues in reverse)

Robin: You have it in Reverse you idiot! Turn it around!

GIR: Everyone knows the propellor goes in front stupid.

If either the Kikka or Shinden had been built earlier, probably with German help, their actions could have disrupted America's bombing campaign... but only temporairly of course before that big old bomb slammed into their heads.

Robin: Someone stop him! He's gonna kill me!

(Plane continues following Robin out of Hangar)

GIR: COOKIES!

--------------------------------------

As night came, Ravenna and Logan departed from the carrier on a small raft and made their way to the nearby island. They were hoping that they would land, find what they needed to know and get out there before they were discovered by the enemy. Ravenna seemed to have gotten over Logan unintentional insult of her dead friends. When he tried to apologise she simply told him to forget about it. Perhaps she didn't want an apology, maybe she already knew he was sorry about it. Nevertheless now wasn't the time anyway. As they brought the raft up onto the beach they now had to begin the second phase of the mission. Find out what the Germans and the Japanese were doing here and stop their operation. All it required was them putting the airfield and all its planes out of commision. That meant sabotaging the runway, the planes in their hanger, the air traffic control tower and anything else of military importance on sight. It would not be an easy mission but if they were to discover what the Axis was planning it had to be done.

They quietly sneaked off the beach they had landed at and made their way into the island. They quickly came upon the airfield as they approached the treeline. Logan took out his binoculars and began to survey the area in fron of him.

"I can see guard towers at the front and at the corners of the field's perimeter." He told Ravenna "A lot of nasty guards too. Don't see any Germans though, mostly Japanese. Can tell by the uniforms."

"Whats on the Airfield?" Ravenna asked

Logan moved the binoculars over to the airfield.

"Nothing really on the runway right now." He told her "Wait, theres something in the hangers."

Logan spotted it out of the corner of his eye, an airplane, but from here he thought it looked like it was parked with the tail facing the runway. Of course when he looked closer he saw it was in fact parked the right way, the plane itself just looked backwards. He could see it through the hanger doors, the cockpit was facing in the direction towards the tail flaps that were placed on the nose. And if his eyes weren't decieving him he could spot a propellor in the back of the plane sticking out just barely.

"Looks like the Japs have some new fighter." He told Raven "Built with the propellor where the tail is supose to be. Which means its not a jet, but it looks pretty fast none the less."

"Anything else?" Ravenna asked

"No, not-" then Logan spotted something out of the corner of his eye "wait, I see something."

The airframe emarged rolling down the runway and preparing to park itself in one of the hangers. For a second Logan though he saw a particular German Jet Fighter.

"Looks like a 262." He said, but then he noticed its different wing configuration and markings "No, scratch that, its Japanese. The wings are straight and the markings on it even make it more obvious."

"The Japanese have a Jet Fighter?" She pulled the Binoculars from Logan's grasp without even asking and looked for herself "The Germans are probably sharing their advanced Jet fighter technology with the Japanese in exchange for these facilities and resources. Thats why they look so much alike."

"Can I have my binoculars back please?" Logan asked "In America we kinda like to ask for things before we take them."

Ravenna snorted and handed them back to Logan.

"So what now?" Logan asked

"We need to sneak in and take out the facility." She told them "I'll take out the guard on the right corner tower. When he falls, get to the gate, cut through it and we can get in relatively un-noticed."

"And then we find the Germans and sabotage their little co-op with the Japs, got it." Logan said "Just try and be quiet taking the guy out."

"No worries." She told him "Its all a matter of timing."

Ravenna looked through the scope at the guard, he was pacing around slowly in the tower, guarding as best his abilities of course. She was waiting for the right moment to hit, an explosion, a plane taking off, anything loud enough to deafen the sound of the gun shot. Just her luck one of the Japanese Jets went out to the runway and fired up its jets. Ravenna took her chance and while the loud screeching perferated the sky she fired one shot at the guard in the tower. He went down quietly and the rest of the camp remained unaware of his death.

"Nice shot." Logan said, impressed by the spectacle "You need to teach me that sometime."

While she didn't acknowledge his compliment with a thanks she did give him a light smile, before returning to her serious demeanour.

"Go now." She told Logan. "I'll stay here and make sure you aren't found out while you cut our way in."

Logan nodded and he went to the gate. Silently cutting through the fence he then motioned for Ravenna to follow. They snuck onto the airfield. Now the tricky part began. The two snuck behind the closest hangers and began working their way through the facility as silently as they could. Opening the back maintenace doors to each of the hangers one by one, they found many of the jet and backward designed Japanese fighters. They also found some stockpiles of the Suicidal "Baka Bombs" in some hangers, obviously there for storage until more Betty's could be sent to the base for their use. The Japs and Germans had indeed been hard at work to have built so many of these advanced prototype aircraft.

"What do you think they're making these things for?" Ravenna asked "America owns the Pacific skies, or so I'm told."

"We do," Logan assured "but my guess is they're feeling the heat from our bombers on the mainland. Otherwise they wouldn't be asking for German help. If they get enough of these things into the air we could loose a lot of good B-29 pilots."

"So lets get sabotaging then." Ravenna suggested

The two began their work quietly, going from hanger to hanger they began to destroy the delicate plane engines on the Japanese Jets. They opened the engine hatches and cut a wire or two. For the jets they used some nearby tools on thge work tables to clog up the turbines. They unplugged the fuel lines for the backward built prop-planes. All of it done discreetely so as not to alert the pilots when next they entered their planes. Once or twice they came upon a guard or engineer inside the hanger and Logan had to take them out with a silenced pistol to the head and drag their bodies to the back of the hanger. They were careful not to cause to much of a ruckus and keep their voices to a minimum soa s not to alert any guards nearby. They had steadily worked their way around the airfield, missing only a few hangers on the far side of the field whish was more heavily guarded then their side. They found themselves on the opposite side of where they entered, near the control tower. But that target would have to wait, for straight infront of them was the large testing grounds for the airfield, where the German scientists were obviously stationed, helping the Japanese with their goals. It would be there where they would find the information on what the Germans were planning... hopefully.

Logan and Ravenna managed to sneak past the guards surrounding the facility. It wasn't an easy task but they were able to make their way into the main building's basement by breaking through a window. They found themselves in a large storage bunker that took up a large portion of the basement. It was packed to the gills with weapons of all kinds, none of them Japanese.

"Just as I thought," Logan said opening a weapon case and finding MP-40s inside. "The Germans are using the island to maintain their war effort away from war torn Europe in the pacific."

"And not just regular weapons either." Ravenna said, picking up an X-7 rocket "More then enough here to keep the war going for months if not years. But how exactly are they transporting it all to Europe?"

"Not sure, but I bet its on one hell of a big plane or even bigger sub." Logan told her "Better set some charges in this room too, make sure we set them back a few million pounds of stolen Japanese Gold."

Ravenna nodded and began setting charges on some of the weapons crates with Logan.

"Blowing this whole storage chamber up could weaken the structure of the buildign above as well." She told him "We could end up causing the whole building to fall ontop of everyone inside so I suggest wenot be among them when we set these things off."

"Good idea," Logan told her "but first we got figure out more about whats going on here."

Logan and Ravenna finished setting the charges and made their way up into the building. They didn't encounter much as they headed down through the halls of the structure, save for a few snoring Japanese workers and soldiers in their bunks. They weren't here for them, they needed information. They eventually came to a large construction floor of the facility. There were a few workers on the floor for the night shift it seemed. The two hid behind some crates and looked over at what was going on. Japanese workers doing exactly what Logan already knew, making German weapons, from MP-40s and 44s to X-7 rockets and Panzershrecks. But still no answers as to how they were getting their weapons to Europe in time. They far worse prospect was that the Japanese were getting even more advanced weapons out of this bargain then the Nazis had planned. The Japs would probably have figured out rocketry sooner or later if things kept going on like this. Jet Aircraft firing at American Soldiers in the pacific was a bad enough prospect, but if Tojo actually got his hand on some of Hitler's Wonder Weapons... well he didn't want to think about it. The value of this place being blown was now an even higher priority then it had been when they landed here.

Just then two people walked from around the corner, one was a Japanese Official of some kind, the other a very mean looking guy in a SS uniform and a scary mask over his face.

"Deathstroke."

Logan turned to Ravenna, who said the words with a very low and disgusted voice. As if saying the very name made her want to vomit. Since she hadn't been to the Pacific before, she obviously was talking about the German.

"You know the Kraut?" Logan asked

"Waffen SS," Ravenna said "one of Himmler's favourite Generals. He butchered thousands ont he Eastern Front alone in his campaign of terror."

"Sounds like a stand up Nazi." Logan sneered sarcastically "But whats he doing so far away from Berlin? Taste for Frsh Sushi with Sake on the side?"

"My guess is he's involved in all this somehow." Ravenna told him "I saw him at the airbase where I got the intel about this whole Operation. He's probably running the show."

Deathstroke was arguing with the official it seemed

"I don't care if the order isn't ready," he told him "I need as many weapons on the plane tonight. The Eastern Front is crumbling and if the plan is to succeed I need enough weapons to supply my men so they can buy me more time to amass my forces."

"We are trying Deathstroke-san," The Jap told him "but the men have been working hard all day testing planes and working in the factories. I don't think we can get the plane loaded up in time before next light. Even if we woke up the whole base to help load the bombers with supplies."

"I don't care how long it takes, just load the 390s and get me off the ground." Deathstroke ordered "I need to be back in Berlin yesterday."

"At once Deathstroke-san."

The Jap left Deathstroke and German began to walk away.

"Whats a 390?" Logan asked

"Unsure," Ravenna said "but if it can get him to Berlin by tommorow its a pretty long range bomber."

"Long range enough to hit New York?" Logan asked rethroically.

Ravenna knew what he meant.

"We need to find this bomber before Deathstroke takes off with it." Ravenna told him.

Suddenly a box from up top fell beside them, they looked up to see a lone Japanese worker terrified at their sight. He suddenly shouted-

"Yankee! Yankee!"

Ravenna quickly shot the man with her rifle from close range. Too late, the whole floor was alerted now. As they stood up and ran out of the room the alarm rang throughout the facility.

"Thats our cue to leave then!" Logan shouted "Run for it!"

The two began racing back the way they came. Japanese soldiers clad in their underwear had leapt from their beads and grabbed their rifles when the alarm had gone off. Logan quickly kicked the sleeping quarters doors in and began gunning the newly awaken guards as they rushed to met them. The few awake guards weren't much of a challenge either. One of them an at them witha sword in hand from around the corner. Ravenna shot him point blank with a pistol and the two continued one their way back to the storage room. They quickly got in and locked the door behind them. Getting out of the basement through the window they ran back towards the control tower. As they ran Logan finally pressed the trigger for the charges they had wired and a few seconds after they began to reach the control tower the testing and manufacuering facility behind them went up in a firey explosion from the ground up. As workers ran to find out what the hell was going on Ravenna and Logan made their way inside the control tower. The long guard sitting there at the desk tried to stop them but he didn't pull his pistol out fast enough and Ravenna got him with her own. They planted their last high explosive charge on the main support beam inside and rushed out. Logan activated it and the tower went up in smoke. Tumbling to the tarmac and crashing ontop of the pavement the airfield command was now out of commission and the base was in complete chaos as to what was going on.

"I think we've worn out our welcome.": Logan told her

"What was your first clue?" She asked him

Planes began rushing out of their hangers and exploding seconds afterwards, a result of Logan and Ravenna's sabotage. Except the few hanger they missed, as they rushed across the tarmac and back to their exit they saw three large shilouettes taxing off the run way. From here Ravenna could see their large wingspans, their huge engines and their bulky ugly design. But other then that she coudl not see what the plane was and it looked like nothing she had ever seen before.

There was no time to wonder what these bombers were, but she had a hunch it was the 390s Deathstroke had talked about. Ravenna continued to follow Logan out of the now chaos infused airfield and back to the insertion point. They got back into the raft and began rowing away from the island.

"Mission more or less accomplished." Logan told Ravenna "We now know what the Japs and Krauts were doing and put a stop to it. Plus we know what the Germans are using to transport the stuff, or were now that the base is blown. That 390 bomber."

"I think I saw them starting to take off from further down the runway." Ravenna told him "I couldn't make out much except they look like ugly beasts."

"We can't do anything about that now." He told her "We can tell command when we get back to the carrier and tell them about it. But by the time we do they'll probably be too far away to launch a squad to look for them."

"At least we know our new mission," Ravenna told Logan "find out more about these 390s and what they're role in Operation: Vengeance is exactly."

Logan nodded in agreement. When they were a little further away from the island he spoke up again.

"Say," he began "good job tonight. You know with the sniping of the guard and sabotaging and stuff. You're pretty good, for a Ruskie."

"You're not so bad yourself," Ravenna complimented "for a Capitalist of course."

"Very funny," He told her "you'll grow to like me."

"We'll see Lieutenant, we'll see."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14: Hobart's Funnies and other Tank Add-Ons

Ever heard of the Sega CD? It was a console add-on to the Sega Genesis that played... well game CDs. Other then Sonic CD and a few other cult hits... it just didn't work out too well. Next came the 32X for the Genesis which had just as equally crappy and forgettable games. Both incredibly expensive, both pathetic attempts to make a dead console last longer and both huge gaming failures. Now you probably ask yourself, outside of the potentinal 'Theres too many WWII games out there' joke, "What the Hell does this have to do with a fanfic on crazy weapons of WWII?" Simple my young friends, we're here to talk about some Add-Ons that actually worked and they were all a product of the outside the box thinker/Engineer/Not Insane, Percy Hobart, an armoured warfare expert that was assigned to create a class of vehicles that would make the Sherman tank a far better kick ass fighter then it was the vulnerable easily killed tank it eventually ended up known for. The line would be forever know as Hobart's Funnies.

Hobart: Just because they're unorthodox I don't think you should call them funny.

Cyborg: You get your name in the history books, stop complaining.

We already mentioned one of the Funnies back in the flame tank chapter, the Churchill Crocodile, but there were plenty more just as useful and potentially kick ass Sherman modfications by Hobart. So lets get cracking, this is the history of Hobart's Funnies, tank by tank.

Hobart: Look, call them Hobart's Super Awesome Tanks, Hobart's Overlord Tanks, hell even just Tanks by Hobart. When you call them funny its like you're mocking them.

You're getting a whole chapter practically devoted to you, quit whinning.

Hobart: I just had to get a ridiculous name.

The tanks were first thought up in 1943, with D-Day on the way Allied Command saw the need for specialized tanks that could get the landing forces over small rivers, through mine-fields and could take out heavily fortified positions. Hobart came up with some inventive ideas as how to solve these problems. He surmised that he could take Allied tanks and modify them in different ways to meet a particular need on the battlefield. One of those designs came from and early tested tank that preformed in Africa. It was a scorpion flail anti-mine tank, which Hobart updated using a Sherman tank attached to the flail. He called it, the Crab.

(Cyborg sits in Crab)

Cyborg: You aren't gonna make a joke about... you know.

Too obvious, even for me.

Cyborg: Just checking.

(Cyborg starts up the tank)

The Crab works like this, while the tank moves forward towards a mine field the flail in front begins spinning around. The flail is nothing more then a bunch of chains all strewn together on a single rotating cyclinder, like a large twirling brush if you will. And like a brush the flail hits the mines in front of the tank causing them to explode! The tank itself remains unharmed as the flail's chains activate the mines a good deal away from the tank.

(Crab begins plowing through minefield)

Cyborg: I'm invincible! Invincible!

However there is the slight chance that one mine will be slightly off a way from the flail and miss the chains entirely. Instead the tank will roll over it with one of its treads and-

(Crab tread hits mine and explodes, Cyborg steps out covered in soot)

Cyborg: I are invincibalble.

Yeah, but that is extremely unlikely. The Crab was one of the more simple and rather successful mine clearers of its day. It saved a good deal of Allied lives from getting maimed by those horrid trap weapons of WWII.

Cyborg: Except me.

Oh you're a half robot, you'll be fine. Another design was the AVRE, short for "Armoured Vehicle, Royal Engineers." It was a Churchill tank with its main gun removed and replaced with an externally loaded Petard Motar gun. It fired and 18kg high explosive round 150 yards that was useful against concrete roadblocks and enemy bunkers. But besides carrying German Defense destroying explosives it also was designed to operate several pieces of equipment for the landings on D-Day. The first was the Bobbin a giant roll of canvas attached to the front of the tank and rolled out underneath it.

(Cyborg sits in a AVRE with a large white Bobbin roller device in front)

Cyborg: How come it looks like toilet paper?

Don't ask. The Bobbin was to allow itself and following vehicles a path they could follow and not have to worry about sinking into the mud of Normany's beaches.

Cyborg: So it is like toilet paper, it keeps the brown stuff from making a mess.

And people say I have a disgusting taste in humour. The next device was the Fascine, basically a bundle of wooden sticks all lashed together with wires. This would be carried in front of a tank and then detached to fill a ditch that blocked the tank's path or form a step over obstacles for the troops.

Cyborg: Why can't I just ride over the ditch?

(Cyborg's tank attempts to do so and falls straight into head first.)

I meant large ditches Tanks can't cross in a single run.

Cyborg: My bad.

There was the small box girder, an assualt bridge that could be lowered quickly and allowed soldiers and tanks to walk over flooded areas or small streams without getting bogged down.

Cyborg: Whats the point of that?

Well, the soldiers don't get put in water up to their waists and become vulnerable targets to Germans with Machine guns. That answer your question?

Cyborg: Sorry I asked.

There was the Bullshorn plough, an mine plough that could be used to unearth and render mines harmless. Not as cool as a spinning flail of chains though.

Cyborg: True dat.

The double onion, was a metal frame with two explosive devices that could be attached to a concrete obstacle, such as a wall and detonated from a safe distance. Kinda like a breaching charge only bigger and more excessive.

German soldier 1: You think they can get in here?

German soldier 2: Its not like they have some kinda tank that can blast a hole into the wall and send their soldiers in here to give us a whooping.

(Wall to compund blasts open and Cyborg's AVRE tank rolls in)

Cyborg: Time for a whoopin'!

German soldier 1: Oh Seizer!

Hmm, not sure why they called it the double onion though, maybe its because it made Germans cry. Anyway, next tank. The Beach Armoured Recovery Vehicle or the BARV, yes we know its a letter off from barf, I'm not making that joke either. It was a Sherman M4A2 tank with its turret removed and replaced with a tall armoured superstructure and could drive in 9 feet of water. It was in a sense a heavily fortified amphibious tow truck. Designed to remove broken down or swamped vehicles from the Normandy coast that were clogging the accessways for American troops headed into France from the beaches.

(Cyborg starts pulling a broken down Sherman out of the waters of Normandy)

Cyborg: This sucks! I wanna blow something up!

Out of all these tanks only one of them had problems getting to the beaches on D-Day. The DD Tanks, or Duplex Drive Tanks. The were M4 Shermans fitted with a floatation device Canvas screen. It allowed the tanks protection from the waves and thus not have their engines flooded. The tank would be launched out at sea and then it would swim onto the mainland using its own motor to power a propellor in the back of the tank that would take it to shore. The tank worked, but only on relatively calm seas. On beaches Juno, Gold and Sword the tanks were either loaded onto the beach directly (Gold) or managed to get all or most ashore over a period of time. (Juno and Sword)

On Utah four of the tanks were lost when their LCT hit a mine and sank. The other 28 tanks landed on the Beach but came late after other amphibious craft. They still managed to play a role in the battle however.

Omaha was a disaster however, almost every tank launched was lost, constituting in high casualties on the beach. The tanks were launched too far from shore and the harsh seas over took many of their floatation sheets, flooded their engines and sank. The canvases were designed to help the tanks float in one foot high waves, at Omaha they were six feet high. Do the math.

(Wave comes up on Cyborg's DD Tank)

Cyborg: Well thats a load of bull-(splash)

(Tank sinks, Cyborg trudges up on beach and pours water out of his sockets)

Cyborg: I think theres a fish sloshing around my energy cell cavity.

Despite these problems the tanks would play an important role on the beaches they did successfully land on and helped the Allies secure the beachheads quickly. So other then Omaha they did very well... for early amphibious vehicles of course.

Cyborg: They don't blow up stuff enough.

Red Star: Yes, tank no good if theres no explosions!

Hobart's tanks were designed to meet special needs on the battlefield, not just to blow crap up.

Red Star: What about my special need to see things explode?

Cyborg: I'm beginning to think he has problems. Considering what his power is.

Fine, you want a tank add-on that blows s--t up huh? Fine! Meet the T34 Calliope Rocket Launcher Tank Add-on mutherf--kers!

(M4 Sherman drops down in front of Red Star and Cyborg, attached ontop of it is a large rocket launcher, each metal shaft containing an explosive warhead inside)

Cyborg: Awesome!

Red Star: Frickking A man!

Attached to a M4 Sherman battle Tank, the T34 Calliope tank mounted rocket launcher could fire a barrage of 4.6 inch rockets from its 60 launch tubes! Later upgraded to 7.2 inch rockets in 1944-1945. It was produced in small number sin 1943 and first used by the Allies in 1944 in France. It was certainly something that could level a German held position in matter of seconds with outmuch trouble and definetly not somethign to tangle with. Now imagine if this tank was commonplace for most battalions in the US Army, you would've had... hey... wheres the tank?

(Rocket mounted M4 Sherman is seen rolling off into the distance firing rockets indiscriminately while Cyborg and Red Star laugh)

Cyborg: King Kong ain't got nuttin' on me!

Red Star: Suck my Russian ass you Fascist bastards! Red Star Rules you little bitches!

Those two need counseling... big time.

--------------------------------------------

March 7th, 1945, German city of Remagen...

The order had been very direct, reach Remagen, capture a bridge and you'll help end the war faster. The promise was too tempting to pass up. SoVictor Stone's tank battalion had entered the city just a few minutes past noon. The bridge here, called Ludendorf, spanned the Rhine river and lead straight to the heart of Germany itself. Victor knew about the Krauts trying to blow up as many bridges as they could to prevent the Americans from crossing the Rhine. It wasn't going to stop the advance overall but it would slow it, giving Hitler more time to build up more of those wonder weapons. After the losses the Ratte incured on his men Victor did not want to face more weapons of its ilk. So if taking this bridge meant a speedier end to this war then he wouldn't object to it.

Hawkins and his Tortoise tanks were still with them. Trudging along at the back of course and barely keeping up with the group, but still he was happy to have their muscle. Didn't mean he didn't have some of his own though. A few days ago he had been commisioned some new replacement tanks. What was better about thes eones however was the large rocket launcher pods ontop of the them! Called Calliopes or something, he didn't care much, just the fact his men had some heavier artillery was good enough for him. With any luck they'd take this bridge and be out of this war by the end of April. The prospect of home was pretty good for Victor, but for now he had a job to do.

"This bridge better be in decent shape when we get there," Victor said "I don't want to have driven 30 miles in a day for nothing."

"Sir look!"

Victor looked up ahead where his gunner had shouted, he saw the bridge. Still standing but obviously in an intense fire fight. It was their lucky day. The Germans were apparently being pushed back across their own river, bad news that meant they'd try to blow the bridge up. He needed to take the bridge before that happened, otherwise it would be another six months of hell. That was something he didn't want to deal with.

Victor had his tanks speed up the road, Hawkins would be forced to lag behind. The crowded and condensed streets made it impossible to get through the city. He would have to go around. Victor knew he couldn't wait for them so he pressed on ahead. There was little to no resistance in the town, the Germans had already abandoned the city. All that mattered to them was blowing the bridge, all that mattered to Victor was getting across the bridge. Contradictory goals, same as all wars.

Victor arrived at the line being held by the US ssoldiers near the bridge. They were firing at the germans opposing them from the otherside. Obviously delaying the advance long enough to get the bridge rigged to blow. Victor took up position behind the soldiers.

"Need some help?" He asked the Master Sergeant loading his sniper rifle.

"What a coincidence," The soldier said "I was just about to ask for some tanks. Germans got the whole bridge pinned down by machine gun fire. Snipers in the opposing towers on the other side of the line. Can't get through, can't get take the bridge. We're stuck."

"How many gunners?" Vic asked

"Five," The master sergeant said. As he told Vic the number he raised the sniper to his face and aimed down the scope. He fired a round and then turned back to vic. "make that four now."

Snipers, always cocky bastards they were. Vic didn't have time to joke though.

"Look we need to take this bridge before the Krauts blow it," Vic told him "otherwise-"

"We're stuck here with Jerry for Summer Break," The Master Sergeant said "I know. I read the mission report."

"You don't mess around do ya?" Vic asked

"Master Sergeant Roy Harper isn't one to mess around commander," The Sergeant said "I've seen too many good guys die to do otherwise."

"If we take out the gunners can you get your men across the bridge and take this thing?" Victor asked

"No problem," Roy told him "don't see how you can get your guns across the river bed though."

"You think Germany has some cool toys?" Vic asked him "Wait till ya see what Uncle Sam gave us."

Four of the Calliope tanks pulled up to the fron and aligned themselves along the bridgehead.

"Damn, thats a lot of rockets." Roy said

"You know it." Vic said as he lifted the radio and shouted "Alright boys, pour it on!"

The Calliopes began firing their rockets across the bridge. They streamed through the sky and came down hard on the otherside of the bridge. Explosion after explosion rocked the German positions with ease. It was a devastating attack. Soon allt hat could be seen was a raging firey explosion on the other side of the river. One of the tower's on the German side took a direct hit and the stone walls crumbled to the ground. The barrage lasted for another few minutes until it ceased when the Caillopes were expended of their munitions.

"Thats some actual progress I must say." Roy said looking through his scope "Don't see a soul. Suck to be the Krauts today I guess."

"Come on lets take this bridge." Vic shouted

"Don't need to tell me twice." Harper said getting up from the trench.

But just as they were about the head up and explosion rocked the earth in front of them. Fire balls sprang up around the bridge frame and clouds of smoke suddenly blocked their view of the other side of the river. Vic stared on in disbelief, had they failed? Were they too late? Was the war to go on forever now?

Victor was dispirited for a few seconds, feeling he had screwed the mission up by not getting here in time. But the smoke soon cleared and he saw that the bridge, while damaged, was not gone. It was still standing, the Jerries had failed. They still had a chance to get across.

"Better move before they try that again." Vic suggested

"Just make sure to keep us covered as best you can." Harper told Vicn as he turned to his men "Lets take it too'em boys!"

The soldiers rushed onto the bridge and made their way towards the other side, all hoping and praying that they would make it across the Rhine, into Germany and ever closer to Berlin. And they knew, that the closer they got to Berlin the closer they got to home.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: When Tanks Fly!

Guess what weapon we're gonna talk about now? Yes, this seems improbable, but they managed to get a tank to fly in WWII. Mind you it had nothing but the chassis and some machine gun ports but the point is it was flying, so give them credit for that.

Robin: How the hell do you get a tank to fly?

You take off everything that makes it a tank bit by bit until its light enough to stay aloft for long periods of time. That means the armour, the turret, the heavy engine and fuel tanks. Essentially you're stuck with a simple lightly armoured vehicle that can't stop even the most basic of bullets from infantry soldiers that could easily kill the crew. That way the tank flies... its a flying death trap but it flies.

Robin: how come I have a feeling this is gonna be another crappy Allied Weapon of war.

You're smarter then you look bird brain. Meet the M1932 Christie "Flying Tank!"

(Small Turretless tank with a large bi-plane wing attachment ontop is rolled in front of Robin)

Robin: Right... this officially has gotten weird... seriously weird.

We've already covered the Allies' most insane inventor now for the most inept. American J. Walter Christie, a man the history books have largely forgotten. Somewhat unfortunate because his biggest attribute to tank warfare was creating the "Christie Suspension" which would become a trademark in all his tanks and eventually be adapted by every tank out there... sorta.

Christie: With my new suspension tanks can go faster farther and move even better! These wheels remove the ridiculous long winded caterpillar treads they stuck on tanks in World War one! Now they can become faster and more efficent on the battlefield then the lumbering titans of yesteryear! They can also have their treads removed on demand and still be able to drive anyway thanks to these big honking rubberized wheels that support the treads in the first place.

(Long Awkward pause by chiefs of staff)

US General: Right... well the fast stuff is cool, but the last part with the removing of the treads... whats the point of that?

Christie: It makes them faster, more manuverale, improves their cross country performance and it just sounded cool... plus I wanted to put my name on something.

US General: This is incredibly boring, when does the guy with the big explosive rounds get here?

Aide: Tommorow.

US General: Shoot.

Suspensions are boring, no one wants to write an entire paper on suspension and tanks without threads. While the invention did improve a tank's ability to drive faster, turn harder and essentially go anywhere Christie didn't put much armour or heavy guns on them. It was to keep the tank going as fast as possible but the lack of armour and heavy weapons on his designs didn't impress the Army. Complicating Christie's problems was his own ego and unwillingness to cooperate with the needs of the army. This wasn't like Heinkel and the Jet Engines, anyone who knows tanks knows that they need armour and lots of it. Otherwise your men are stuck in a giant moving sardine can that will become a death trap under enemy fire.

Red Star: And it just ain't a tank without mega heavy guns that can pierce through the hide of the toughest German beast!

(Fires tank gun)

German: Mein spleen!

Red Star: I love that sound.

Yes that too, I guess. So essentially Christie's tanks were fast and had good mobility but they were also small and fragile. Plus tanks without treads is kinda useless. If Christie stuck to his suspension he would've been okay with the army, probably could've refined it for bigger and better tanks. Unfortunately he just kept making the same old slightly modified cruddy little tanks that were each more poorly armoured and turretless as the last, all of them spanning from 1919 to 1932. Then he got the crazy notion that if he could make a tank light enough he could get it up in the air! The military purpose would be the tanks could fly behind enemy lines, shoot up the bad guys and cause general chaos all around. The problem was making it work properly. To help explain why here's GIR once more.

GIR: Yello!

Tanks are big lumbering lumoxes, you can't strap wings on them and expect them to fly. If you ever saw that old stock footage of the 100 winged airplane that tried to get of the ground but crashed horribly you'll know why.

(GIR watches famous stock footage of 100 wing plane test flight)

CRASH!

GIR: Plane fall down! Funny! HE HE HE HE!

Weight is as much a factor in planes as is drag and flight capabilities. If a plane is too heavy it can't support itself and it will fall like a sack of rocks. The engine must be powerful enough to lift the craft off the ground and still be able to fly a good distance. So lets look at a standard design for a tank, Turret, chassis and treads.

(GIR is stuffed inside a tank)

GIR: I feel squished

Now to counteract the problems of weight that makes this tank unable to fly Christie would make it smaller.

(Tanks shrinks)

GIR: I can't feel my legs!

Remove the turret

(Turret falls off)

And get rid of most of the armour around the chassis.

(Armour removed)

GIR: I think I'm stuck in here.

For the christie tank doing all this got the weight to around... 4.5 metric tons. Its as light as you can get. Its armour was 10 to 15 mm, practically non-existant. Worse no turret, so it was armed with machine guns instead. The smaller size meant it could only sit 3 crew.

(Three more GIRs appear in tank)

GIR: I have brothers!

GIR2: I like pie!

GIR3: Monkeys!

Robin: Great now theres three of them.

Okay, we got the tank, now to fit it with something that can make it fly... wings. Well we've already devolved a tank back into a nothing but a lightly armoured machine gun nest, lets devolve a plane! Take a regular Bi-plane, remove the fuselage, keep the engine and tail, more the propellor up to the wing and than stick the whole thing ontop of said tank.

(Wings attachs themselves to tank)

GIRs: YAY!

Well there you have it, Christie's M1932 Flying Tank design. (It also had the suspension thingy that was comon with all of Christies previous tanks) Now you're probably thinking the reason it didn't go into service was because it couldn't fly. Well, you're half right, it flew, just not very well. You see Christie sold some of his tanks to the Russians, his older version to be precise, the M1931. The Russians borrowed the design and made their own flying tank, the Antonov A-40! They used bigger wings from larger aircraft and were able to stick some slightly bigger tanks on like the T-60... still a lightweight though.

However, even though tests showed they could get the thing to fly...

(Russians watch their flying tank take off)

Russians: YAY! Wohoo! We did it! YEAH!

(Tank attempts to land and crashes)

Russians: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh.

Landing was a different story and the project was disbanded. The Ruskies did keep the suspension invention to use in the T-34 though, as well as another invention of Christie the sloped armour disign that deflected anti-tank weapons. Other then that, they disregarded the rest of his tank designs. Especially that useless tread removal feature. The T34 would go on to become the most awesome tank of the second world war. The M1932 didn't even leave the ground cause the US military decided to cancel its production. Christie would never see his tanks used in any field of combat, let alone WWII. He was a good tank modifier I'll admit, but as a tank maker he was severly lacking in understanding what a tank needed. In the end, he flew his tank too close to the sun... like Icarus... except without the wax wings... and with a tank.

Robin: So how would this thing have preformed? Tell me now, cause these thigns are getting on my nerves.

GIR 1: I want ice cream!

GIR 2: I want candy!

GIR 3: I wanna watch monkeys fling dookie!

Very well, start the engine.

(Flying Tank takes off down the runway)

GIRs: Wehee!

Now the tank could get in the air, most assuredly, but you couldn't steer it outside of up and down. The tank was not connected to the wings all the time, it was a detachable set of wings. The manuverability of the plane in the air was limited. In contested air space it would've been a sitting duck for enemy fighters. German planes could easily strike a heavy blow to the unmistakable and very large target.

(German plane comes up from behind and shoots the flying tank)

GIRs: IT BURNS! YAY!

(Tank starts lowering to ground)

Now if you actually survived the 109s and 190s trying to kill you there was the landing. Not easy, even with that useless suspension. You see Christie's designs were usually mechancially unreliable, this tank wouldn't have been a big difference. The vehicle would have probably crashed or had trouble starting, take your pick.

(Tank gets stuck in a ditch as it crashes)

GIRs: AGAIN!

Lastly, anything from a rifle to an anti-tank weapon could've easily killed the crew inside, making them easily prey for any German on the ground.

(Gun totting bad guys pop up around tank and shoot it to pieces. they then run off. Original GIR's head rolls out the tank hatch)

GIR: I like monkeys!

Robin: Hmm, at least the others are dead.

Unreliable, unsafe and impractical. They might as well have made a tank out of wood and filled it with exploding barrels! This thing was so crippiled it isn't even funny! Although coming up with better tanks is. Why not make one out of meat? Or perhaps give it the ability to swim underwater! Its makes perfect sense! More sense then a flying tank that would've killed more Americans then Germans in the end.

Robin: I gotta rebuild this stupid Robot now huh?

Well if you don't then I will, but I'll send you the bill.

Robin: I hate you.

--------------------------------------

The Bridge was still in German hand, but the Americans had managed to take half the bridge so far. Using broken and busted German trucks and vehicles for cover they had set up a perimiete half way across the Ludendorf Bridge. They had already disabled the explosives on the side they had taken, but the Germans still held out. It was too risky to try and send tanks across the bride until they could be sure they could hold it. So Vic radioed command for an airstrike on the German positions.

"I repeat the bridge is still in enemy hands." He told them "We need to get some planes to hit the Germans on the other side hard enough so they'll either retreat or just plain die."

"There aren't any planes in your area Commander," HQ told him "however you're in luck. A squadron of flying tanks-"

"Oh no, no, no, no, NO!" Victor said cutting him off "Sir, that is last thing I need right now. Those guys only excel at getting themselves killed."

"We can get them across the bridge and take the positions for you. Its not like they got Bazookas or something over there right?"

"The germans don't need Panzershrecks or any rockets for that matter," Victor told him "They just need to shoot for the eye piece and kill the crew inside with a single bullet!"

"I don't want to hear Commander, the decision isn't up to you." HQ explained "We need to take the bridge and we need to do it now. I'm sending the Flying Tanks, they'll be there within a few minutes."

The radio turned off and Vic could only sigh heavily as he rubbed his forehead in dismay.

"Great they're sending over the little flying sardine cans," Victor complained sarcastically "I feel so much safer now."

The M1932 Christie Flying Tanks appeared on the horizon soon after. They were making a beeline for the otherside of the river. Victor would be going wow if he hadn't seen them in action on D-Day. Those metal boxed deathtraps were scattered all over the Normandy countryside. Either dead, broken or shot to pieces. Only a few were still actually working and they didn't last long. Why command was still allowing people to kill themselves in those things he didn't know. Considering the Flying Tank operations in Normandy had been called the biggest disaster of the campaign he didn't understand why they hadn't decomissioned them.

Nevetheless those flying junkheaps landed on the other side of the river. Well, landed or crashed was the more accurate term. Some of the tanks and their top heavy wings slammed into the ground, falling over on their front ends. Others had their wings snapped in half when the landed and skidded slightly out of control. One mroe missed the mark and crashed into the river instead of on land, the crew most likely drowned.

"Always starts the same way," Victor observed "then it gets worse."

Victor was right, befor ehe knew it those suicidal idiots in their death trap tanks made a beeline for the German held positions. The Germans turned to face the tanks coming up at them shooting all they could into the tanks. Victor knew that the Machine Gun and rifle rounds would be enough to pierce the tank's weak armour. Luckily for this squad they mostly recieved MP-40 fire with its smaller pistol shaped rounds htting them. Unable to penetrate the M1932s headed up into the German held area of the bridge head. For once it seemed like they were actually winning. Germans were cut down fast and hard. The sudden appearance of the Machine gun totting tanks had taken the Germans by surprise.

But the success didn't last long. One German turned his MG-42 around and started firing on the M1932s in quick succession. Victor watched fruitlessly as he saw one, then two, then three of the tanks stop moving. That could only mean the crew inside were dead.

If they had actually done anything right it was take the pressure off the American Infantry and allow them pin down the Germans. Some of the Krauts began to retreat, but most stood their ground. Now trying to hold off both the advances of the Americans from both sides. The M1932s were doing little to change the battle situation but distract the Germans for a few minutes.

Just when it seemed that it was all fruitless, an explosion rocked the one of the German held sandbag positions, destroying the machine gun nest inside. Victor looked to the left of the bridge and saw a familar sight. Hawkins and his Tortoise tanks had finally arrived. Their long range guns were more then enough to reach the other side of the bridge. They carefulyl began firing a steady stream of explosives at the Jerries. As the dust cleared the German gun fire ceased. The Americans Streamed across the rest of the way. The Ludendorf Bridge at the Remagen River was now theirs. Vistor radioed command with the good news.

"Sir, we've got the bridge." He said "Ludendorf Bridge is captured. We got a straight shot into the Fatherland now!"

"Good job Commander!" The other line said "We'll be sending troops to help reinforce your position. Watch out for Jerry he'll no doubt try and destroy the bridge again."

"Will do." Vic said "Over and out."

Vic got out of his tank and walked over to Hawkin's postion.

"Sorry we're late old boy," he said "little bit of traffic getting here."

"Just glad to see ya Hawkins," Vic told him "your tank is a fat bastard but at least it can shoot a lot of crap up."

"Yes thats at least one good benefit of being a slow plodder." He said "Still, I rather being in something a little lighter at least. That bridge won't be able to hold even one of us. I'm afraid I won't be heading into Berlin with you."

"Too bad," Victor told him "just stick around okay. Krauts won't give up trying to blow this bridge that easy you know."

"Agreed, carry on then." Hawkins said

Victor went back to his tank. It was funny really, as slow and useless as the Tortoise was it proved to be even more effective in the last two battles then M1932s had in the entire war. It was light enough to fly, but not armoured well enough to fight. Now Vic would have to turn to the grim prospect of both defending this bridge and removing their dead from their shot up metal coffins. He silently cursed the idiot who made came up with this flying tank idea.

"Sent a bunch of good men to die just to get some stupid tank to fly." Vic thought "I swear if I meet the bastard who came up with this idea I'm show him one his shot up tanks and ask if he would like to go into battle in it."

Vic would have to put his anger aside, he still needed to keep the bridge secured long enough to get the men to Berlin and back home before more people had to die because of some stupid weapon.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: ...And Now Boats that Fly!

To keep up with the theme of flying object that shouldn't really be flying, heres something that is actually useful. unlike the M1932. This chapter is about the German VS8 Hydrofoil Speedboat, an ambitious invention that was far ahead of its time. Now assuming none of you have any knowledge of understanding the terminology of different types of boats-

Gizmo: Which means everyone out there who isn't in the Navy.

A Hydrofoil is a type of speedboat with specialized wings under it that help it to, in manner of speaking, fly across the water. Hydrofoils do this by using these wings like any airplane would. As the craft builds up speed it is lifted out of the water by the wings. Because the boat is barely touching the water now the drag you would otherwise get is relatively gone. You're now technically flying a few feet above water. It may seem this technology is rather recent, but it was actually developed in Germany by a man named Baron Hans von Schertel.

(Control Freak and Gizmo laugh under their throats)

Schertel: Is my name funny to you?

Control Freak: Yes, I can't lie about it. Its too ridiculous not to.

Schertel: Yeah, I know I think its stupid too.

Strangely the Nazis didn't think much of the idea of a flying boat, yet for some reason giant tanks appealed to them. In any case they let a good opportunity for a speedy transport vessel slip them by. No one could grasp the concept of why a flying boat was cool or needed. For some reason the Germans did not have the need... the need for-

Control Freak: Are you ever going to stop using that joke?

Never. Anyway after toiling in his lab for nearly a decade trying to get everyone to buy his designs he decided he would need help, especially after his private resources were expended. Thats where the strange part of this story comes in. Meet Gotthard Sachsenberg, the only guy to ever criticise Hitler in Germany and live to tell about it.

Mammoth: You're joking right?

No, we're serious. The Sachsenberg family owned the Dessau-Rosslau shipyards and Gotthard was a real political rogue in Germany at the time. He was a naval hero, member of the Reichstag, vocal critic of the Reich and, most strangely of all, of Jewish Heritage.

Mammoth: Now I know you're joking. I may be stupid, but even I know theres no way Hitler would let that guy live.

Only one attempt was ever made on Gotthard's life, he was taken out into the woods to be shot by two Nazi agents. But he somehow managed to convince them to let him off.

Gotthard: You do realise killing me won't accomplish much.

Nazi Agent: We'll shut you up.

Gotthard: Perhaps, but what about my family? They'll probably start questioning what happened to me and then you'll have to kill them. Easy enough perhaps, but I was a naval hero of the Great War and I own one of the biggest shipyards in Germany. Sure you will shut me up, but whose gonna make all the precious U-Boats for the Bevarian Corporal leading this country? gonna be hard spreading the Aryan race when Hitler finds out the Bismark is stalled in production.

Nazi Agent: Well... sure... but we can't let you go.

Gotthard: Why? Its not like anyone's watching you.

Nazi Agent 2: He's right the SS hates the woods, they're allergic to the evergreen.

Nazi Agent: Fine, but what happens when do find out you're still kicking?

Gotthard: I have an idea, I'll write a letter to the Reichstag that says if they leave me and my family alone I'll donate some Strudels to the Secret Police headquaters!

Nazi Agent: Sold!

Sachsenberg's resources and Schertel's genuis would produce many revolutionary ship designs for WWII. The VS8 would be one of them. Initially coming up against some set back and competition the Kreigsmarine approved the VS8 and authorized it to start working on its production. It was still a prototype by this time however and still needed to be refined. It was intially penned to be one of the landing craft for the invasion of Britian. Delays of the second prototype killed that dream and it wass refitted for a new role in delivering supplies between Italy and North Africa.

Gizmo: Bummer, what a way to screw a speed boat.

Not really since its prototype wasn't all too speedy. Inadequate engines were one of the causes for the slow development of the VS8. While it proved more manuverable it wasn't fast enough for the standards of the Kriegsmarine. In rough seas it was harder to handle, in fact it was always hard to handle. That job required a steady hand and ne weakness to inherent sea sickness. If you've ever been on a shaky speed boat... its no fun... especially after a huge breakfast.

(Trident piloting a VS8)

Trident: Oh god... why did I have those mackerel and scrambled squids with a side order of puffer this morning? (Turns greener and leans over side vomiting) Oh man, where did the carrots come from? Why's it always carrots?

The foils were lightweight, meaning they could easyily be damaged by even minor obstacles like kelp beds.

(Trident his a kelp bed and the boats slams down hard throwing him out)

Trident: DAMMMMMNNNNNN!

(Ker-Splash!)

At lower speeds it had an incredibly deep draft which made the plan to use it as a landing craft a bad idea. It most certainly would have been bogged down in shallow water and close to shorelines. The boat was deeply flawed. After several revisions of the VS8, including an idea to use it as a mine layer, the project was cancelled as were all Hydrofoil projects.

(Trident crawls out of water, in obvious pain)

Trident: Can I go home now?

Gizmo: What the hell is up with this boat? Its not very fast, its not very easy to drive, its easy to wreck, does it have any good qualities?

It looks cool.

Gizmo: Thats the line you use to say it sucks.

Yes, but it would've had its uses. As an interceptor patrol boat or a transport to bring in at least one light tank the VS8 probably could've served its time in the war well. It was being developed in 1940 so it could've gotten into things very early on. It had four machine gun turrets so it would've been well protected and all. But as stated before the problem was with its speed and handling. It had the potential to get supplies and troops across from Sicily to North Africa easily and kept the Germans there better supplied then the lumbering merchant ships that were easy targets. An airplane would've overlooked the small craft easily. So why was the production of the boat so badly done and messy?

Gizmo: Well Sachsenberg was Anti-Nazi, hell they tried to kill him once. Why exactly would he want to help the same people that tried to off him? Doesn't make too much sense. He could've sabotaged his own project so he could both make cash and screw with the war effort.

A likely possibility but we'll never know for sure. While Gotthard had his shipyards stripped of him by the Soviets after the war he was able to keep his castle and hid several German scientists there who helped to eventually develop new medicines and pharmacuticals to re-establish the family Fortune. Meanwhile Schertel got help from Sachsenberg one last time when he escaped the Russians and Sachsenberg got him a deal with some Swiss Bankers. Schertel, who had now helped advance the cause of Hydrofoil technology would open a bussiness producing crafts with the technology. Together they had proved that the Hydrofoil boat could indeed be a useful military supply boat... just not a good landing craft. Lets face it, Speedboats and land don't mix. Check up speedboat crashes on youtube, you'll see.

Control Freak: This is fun and all but we got to get back to finding out whose behind us developing these strange weapons. Lets get into that office boys!

(Cotnrol Freak leads villians to the office of the strange woman who is making them create all these weird German weapons. They pass a studio guard)

Studio Security: Meh, I'm off duty. (Dips Donut in coffee mug)

(Villians stomp up to the office)

Control Freak: Alright guys, time to find out whose trying to make us develop suicide planes for the upcoming chapters along with several other strange weapons.

Billy: Billy gonna kick her ass!

Bro. Blood: Can we please just bust in there and get this over with?

Mammoth: Let me do it! Busting in doors is my job!

Gizmo: Because otherwise you're completely useless.

Mammoth: Shut up, give me my moment to shine already I haven't had much page time in this story!

(Mammoth smashes down door revealing the inside of the office.)

Control Freak: Alright lady, who are you and what makes you think you can get us to make your crappy little secret weapons for ya?

(Someone sits in the evil egg shaped chair behind the desk)

Lady: Someone whose show isn't cancelled like yours.

(Villians look on confused)

Control Freak: Okay... that kinda hurt... was that really nessecary?

(Chair turns around)

Villians: (Collective Gasp)

Control Freak: Oh my god!

(A woman in a red outfit, black hair tied up on top with two strand at the sides of her face and golden eyes stares back at them.)

Azula: Hello lesser villians, allow me to introduce myself, I'm Princess Azula, from Nickelodeon's hottest new show "Avatar: The Last Airbender." Now in its third season, catch it every Friday night at 8:30 pm.

Gizmo: Shameless plug!

(Fire blasts over his head)

Gizmo: Okay I take it back!

Control Freak: What the hell is a Nick Toon character doing in a fanfic about a Cartoon Network show!? No one said this was gonna be a crossover!

Azula: Perhaps you should seriously consider reading the fine print on your contract.

(Azula passes contract over to Villians, Brother Blood catches it)

Bro Blood: (Reading with eye glasses) Son of a gun, its says here that the identity of this fanfic as a crossover or not, shall not be divulged directly to you the party signing this contract. This is so you don't ruin the surprise that may or may not come up.

Control Freak: Okay fair enough. So why are you making us create weapons for you?

Azula: Your show was cancelled after only five seasons. Mine has been on for only three and the fan base its created is enormous! Have you seen the comic con video? Theres thousands of people dressing up like me in there... well me... or my stupid brother... or Ty Lee... or Mai... well regardless they still dress up as characters from my show so there.

Control Freak: Good for you, what does that have to do with making weapons.

Azula: Why should my show be continually eclipsed by other shows on Nickelodeon that aren't as popular or aren't even making new episodes? No thats unacceptable. So I decided to create a vast army of war machines, powerful enough to conquer all the other timeslots on Nickelodeon's schedule. But I can't do it on my station... Nickelodeon execs would catch me within seconds. So I decided to go over here to this cruddy cancelled superhero cartoon and get you as a cheap source of slave labour to build my weapons of mass destruction!

Gizmo: So why us and not the Titans?

Azula: Cause I liked the flair of this Nazi Germany thing, reminds me of home. Needs a few adjustments though.

(Presses button on desk and unflures a Nazi like flag, with its Swastika replaced by the Fire Nation symbol)

Azula: Thats better, I also need to get me one of those brownshirt uniforms, or should I say redshirt uniforms.

Private Hive: This is bogus sir! I'm not working for a girl sir! I'm outta here sir! (Begins to leave)

Azula: I thought you might feel that way... TY LEE!

(A happy flippy Girl in a a nazi like uniform but with a fire nation eblem where the swasticka armband should be, jumps up from behind Azula, rolls into a spinning ball in mid-air and hits Private hive with a good series of jabs on his lower back, he falls over in pain)

Private Hive: Jesus Christ Sir! I can't feel my legs Sir! Call a medic! MEDIC!

Ty Lee: Wow that was just as fun as you said it would be Azula. By the way, brown doesn't suit me, can I wear pink instead?

Azula: You always want to wear pink.

Ty Lee: PLEEEEAAASSSSEE!

Azula: Fine!

Ty Lee: Yay! (Flips over and hugs Azula) Thank you Azula! You're my best friend forever!

Azula: What did we disscuss about hugging?

Ty Lee: Not in public?

Azula: Precisely.

(Ty Lee backs off)

Control Freak: So your gal pal can make us paralyzed from the neck down. So what? It can't kill us.

(Two large dagger stick next to Control Freak's face. a bored girl comes out of the shadows)

Mai: I missed on purpose. Next time I puncture that fat hide of yours.

Azula: I think you now know the score gentlemen... unless... (Fire erupts from finger tips) you'd like to have a villian Bar-B-Q?

Villians: No! No! No!

Gizmo: We're good, we get the picture.

Azula: Fine, now get back to the studio. You have some weapons to make me.

Control Freak: We are so screwed.

Gizmo: Damn straight.

Billy: Billy wants to go home now.

---------------------------------------------------

Allied troops and tanks were already making their way across the Rhine now, but the battle wasn't over. Even if the Ludendorf bridge was holding Victor knew that the Krauts would seek to rectify their error. He had posted four tanks on each side of the bridge, two pointing downstream the other two upstream. Which ever way Jerry came they would be facing down the barrel of a Sherman tank. A few Anti-Air vehicles had been moved up further downstream and on the other side of bridge to ward off air attacks. Despite all this protection Victor couldn't totally assure Command that he could keep the bridge from blowing up. It was already damaged severly from the explosion that tried to demo it the first time. The only reason it was still standing was that they were luck.

Victor couldn't contemplate the miracle for very long he was too bust watching his side of the river for any possible German attack from the river. Kraut Patrol boats could try a desperate attempt to blow up the bridge, maybe even ram one of the pylons in hopes of taking what was left of it down. Vic had to keep this bridge open, they had already come this far, they couldn't afford to get cozy now.

Victor's and Command's belief of another German attempt at blowing the bridge soon made itself clear. Three shapes appeared down river, approaching fast on the bridge. Victor got his binoculars and looked towards the oncoming boats. He saw three, small boats with a wide hull and deck racing towards them. From what he could see though the boats weren't touching the water. He could see their bellies and a small wing like structire underneath appearing briefly from the wake of the ships. Victor had heard of these boats, they were VS8's, super fast "flying boats" was what the papers called them. They had transported supplies across to North Africa to try and keep Rommel from losing the war there. Didn't work however cause the Brits were blowing up more tanks then they could replace. They also acted as raiding and landing craft in some of the early operations of the war.

He heard about one attempt to sneak in some German Commandos into Britain using the boat so they could blow up radio towers. The raid was a disaster, because when the VS8 they were on crashed close to shore they exposed themselves to British troops patroling the sector and wrre captured. Their boat hit a small sand bar and sent them all flying. Poor Krauts, didn't even get to start the mission.

The river here seemed to be deep enough for these VS8's to cross without crashign though. Victor knew that they were probably trying to take out the bridge, but with what? There was no time to ask, Victor radioed his men.

"Fire on the targets coming from downstream!" He ordered

The boats coming at them continued to press on, despite the explosions hitting the water next to them. The shells were just too slow for them. Thats how it appeared until one tank hit the water in front of the lead VS8. The boat didn't explode, but the pillar of water that sprung up lifted it out of the water. The came down on its nose and began to flip over in the water several times before crashing with its belly up. The other two boats closed for the kill. Now closer they began firing on the bridge and the tanks with their machien guns. Vic's Sherman tank took out the next VS8 as it closed in on the bridge the explosion that resulted broke the vessel in half and sent up a fire ball into the sky. The resulting wave from the explosion caused the second VS8 to suddenly veer towards the other end of the Rhine's shore. It smacked into the bank, unable to alter its course in time. The underwater wings were shreaded off the side of the hull and the vessel flung it self onto land it crashed just short of the sandbags the infantry had set up. The Shermans all pointed their guns at it, ready to fire if the the machine guns on this one opened up. Instead the Germans inside, lucky to be alive, instead surrendered themselves to the Americans.

"Thats the first sensible thing I've seen a bunch of Krauts do in a long time." Victor said to himself

The small skirmish was rather pathetic, the VS8's had both failed to take out the bridge or kill any Americans. Now their boats were lying on the bottom of the river or ontop of the bank ready to be salvaged by the American military. Perhaps the boys at Allied Command would like their own speedboat one day, if they could work out the kinks in this one first though. Thnat whole fight was just way too easy, they didn't even have to hit the boats to kill them. There was noi time to wonder about why the Krauts thought these three little boats could take the bridge out, Victor still had work to do.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17: Rocket Man burned out his Fuse out here Alone

Strapping a rocket to a plane is a stupid idea, but the Germans thought it was a cool idea. Yes, rockets are faster then Jets, thats how they escaped the Earth Gravitational pull to bring men to the moon. But rockets are also unreliable, dangerous and difficult to get to work when they don't go straight up. They burn up fuel fast and when that happens... well you plummet from the sky and die horribly. That didn't stop the Luftwaffe though, because the only thing more famous then their jet planes was the infamous rocketry program they began. It would produce some rather terrifying weapons, like the V2 rocket. However they were also the ones to introduce rocket planes to the war arena. Best of all, the whole program ran on slave labour! As reproduced here thanks to the efforts of Slave Mistress Azula and the Teen Titan villians.

Azula: Work more cancelled peons! (Cracks whip)

(Teen Titan villians work endless to put together German Rocket planes)

Gizmo: I always wanted a girl to use a whip on me for something, now that its happening though I don't like it.

Control Freak: Shut up okay, otherwise evil crazy fire bitch up there is gonna sick her crazy goth-like knife throwing friend on us.

(Dagger flies into view and sticks itself into the table)

Azula: Less talk more building slaves!

(Villians work faster)

Azula: Being an evil mastermind ruling over cancelled cartoon show characters is funner then I expected. We should have music to celebrate this occasion. Ty Lee, play my Imperial March mix CD!

Ty Lee: Goody! I like music!

(Puts on Imperial March music)

There was a practical reason for this, the Versailles treaty Germany signed at the end of WWI had nothing in it saying Germany couldn't make rocket based weapon systems. Of course Hitler pretty much threw that whole treaty out anyway so that technicallity was just something that must've made the other Germans sleep a little easier at night knowing they hadn't compeltely broken the treaty. In any case Germany was Rocket crazy in World War Two and their rocket plane airforce was one of their crowning achievements.

Brother Blood: Why does this crazy Fire bitch need rocket planes exactly?

Mammoth: Don't ask questions, one of the HIVE henchmen tried it and now he's gone.

Brother Blood: You don't think-

(Screaming can be heard in background as a rocket goes off)

Azula: Hmm, not black and crispy enough. We need more optiminal burnage all around.

Mammoth: Well we're doomed.

Rocket planes were almost exclusive to Germany during the war. There were plently of successful test and recon rocket planes, but only one managed to get enough praise to earn a place as a useful fighter plane, the Me 163 or Komet as it was called.

Azula: Which is why I'm having these cancelled sods rebuild them enmasse!

Billy: Billy Numerous is not a sod!

(Azula punches fire at him)

Billy: Shutting up.

Azula: Good, and make more of you so we can increase production or Ty Lee will put on non-stop My Little Pony Toy comemrcials on every screen in this building!

Ty Lee: I like the pink ones.

Billy: That cuteness is gonna kill us all.

Bill 980: You said it Billy!

Billy: Oh shut up, I'm not in the mood.

Azula: Now where was I? Oh yeah, since my Great-Grandfather Fire Lord Sozin used a comet to start our glorious march to world domination a hundred something years ago I thought it was apporiate to have the first Fire Nation aircraft in history be named after it. Think of it, now we don't need to wait a hundred years to wait for the comet's power and destroy countless human lives. We can use it all the time... in Airplane form.

Mai: You know, the plane is spelled with a K.

Azula: K, C, whats the difference? They do it in Mortal Kombat! Now, strange bodiless Authour of this story, give me the specs of this weapon!

If you insist of psycho chick of fire. The Me 163 Komet is a puny little aircraft, one that would make the other pilots laugh because of its... small, short and pudgy design. This was to limit drag around the aircraft by decreasing its weight. The Komet was intended as an interceptor, to speed in and destroy Allied bombers that were pounding Germany to dust. Its first model was tested as a glider, to see if it could actually get airborne. It made the transition to rocket plane in 1943 in its second prototype phase. As we mentioned the plane was stubby, only 18 ft and 8 inches long with a wingspan of 30 ft and 7 inches. It was powered by a liquid fuel rocket engine that could reach maximum speeds of 960 km/h. Its only armanent was its MK 108 mm cannons, one on each wing. In its early days of operation it was a speedy little death machine that destroyed many allied bombers over German held soil. It may have been stubby, but those cannons packed a hell of a bite to them.

Azula: I am intrigued! Its both a propaganda tool with its name and it delivers copious amounts of death. I love it already.

Plane had two phases, the rocket phase and the gliding phase. The Komet would take off with its rocket engine and intercept the target, eventually when it ran out of fuel it became a glider and headed back towards base to land. The engine ate up fuel so quickly that the plane only had a range of 25 miles so the German military assests it protected has to be in close proxemity of its airbase. Otherwise it would have to turn back before it got to the bombers or it would crash in the German countryside before it got back to base.

Bro. Blood: Which begs the question of how little miss hot head slave driver is gonna use it! I mean, her people haven't even developed rocket fuel!

Azula: Which is why the first stop on my list is to conquer a fellow Nicktoon. Jimmy Neutron has more rocket fuel then any one boy deserves! Also your cartoon has spaceships and rockets as well, so its a start.

Bro. Blood: Hey, how come you didn't try and kill me that time.

Azula: Oh I did, you just didn't see it. By the way you may want to put your backside out.

Bro. Blood: What are you- (Notices butt is on fire) AHHHHHHHHHH! (Runs into washroom and throws his ass down into a toilet) Oh thank god. (Tries to get out) Uh oh... I think I'm stuck.

Brother Blood and Azula have demonstrated the reason to the Komet's down fall, the lack of fuel. Germany's fuel shortages were depleted by the time the Komet was introduced and once allied pilots found out all they had to do was wait for it to switch to glide mode to pounce on it and take it out of the sky the Komet was a sitting duck. Worse, gliding accidents were frequent and more Komets had crashed by wars end then in ratio to the bombers they took out, which stands at sixteen.

Azula: Meh, I'm gonna use it to strafe people on the ground anyway.

The Komet's G-forces were so intense that many pilots couldn't handle the stress. This was before pressure suits, so that option was out. The Komet pilots also needed to wear the same equipment high level bombers used in order to properly intercept the bomber formations at high altitudes. The Komet was designed to with an service ceiling of 39, 700 ft, thats where oxygen pretty much doesn't exist. All these facts made supplying Komets expensive and there was never a guarantee that the pilots could shoot down a bomber. The plane was so fast that you'd need to have a steady hand in order to properly hit anything at the speeds the Komet went. It was an aircraft ahead of its time.

Azula: Well I can always just steal that stuff and train people to properly use them anyway.

Suit yourself, but you'd probably be better off using a weapon far more insidious then the Komet. Something Henrich Himmler, Reichfurher for the SS, asked for himself.

Azula: Hmm, I think I've heard of that plane, already getting the drones down there to build some as well.

You have?

Azula: Well it was comissioned by a war crinimal/mass murderer, it was too intriguing to let it slip by.

The Bachem Ba 349, or Natter, the German translation of a particular breed of snake, was a rocket powered interceptor aircraft that was to be used like a surface-to-air missile. Designed by Erich Bachem, the plane was to help make up for the lost air superiority of the German Luftwaffe. It would be launched straight into the air, radio controlled from the ground and guided towards enemy bombers. The pilot inside the plane only had one job, fire the missiles that made up the plane's only arnament. Once that part of the mission was through and all rocket's were away the plane the pilot and the rocket engine would land in seperate parachutes while the wooden casing would be disposed of. However the plane wasn't what it seemed, the hope of anyone actually surviving the plane's mission was almost impossible. The pilots recruited to fly it were lied to by the German high command. Himmler, who had taken the project up, knew that the rocket plane would be better suited as a suicidal aircraft that would ram other airplanes and destroy both them and the pilot inside.

Ty Lee: That sounds nasty, Azula are we gonna stuff our fellow Fire Nation buddies in there?

Azula: Of course not Ty Lee, that would be wrong. We're gonna use these stupid slave workers instead.

Gizmo: Eeep.

Private Hive: What makes you think we'd actually go through with this... maam.

Azula: Two words, Electric Shock.

Private Hive: Excuse me?

(Azula zaps Private Hive with her lighting bending.)

Private Hive: Just point me in the direction to shoot. (Plops on table)

The German pilots flying these missions were told they weren't going to die, they just needed to get close enough to the bomber to steer the Bachem into it and bail out at the last second. Of course escaping the cramped conditions would be almost impossible and surviving a 1000 foot drop from a speeding aircraft was very unlikely. Of course the Germans by this time were losing so they had very little options left.

Azula: I however like to keep my options open. Which is why I'm putting them into production early.

The Germans were also not limited to using just rocket planes as suicide aircraft, there were other methods too. Herman Goering authorised a set of missions that would have Germany's best pilots ramming straight into B-17 bombers. He told them the same crap story, that they weren't going to die and they could bail out right before impact. The term for these Suicidal attacks by Germans was called Selbstopfer or Self-Sacrifice. It was different then the Kamikazes in Japan, cause while the Japanese never lied to their soldiers about their imminent deaths the Germans did. No one but the most devoted Nazis would've given their lives for Hitler at this point in the war, so they were told they could escape death. The possibility was slim however. The first idea to use this method of self sacrifice was on modified piloted V-1 bombs, the idea would have gone through had Albert Speer not convinced Hitler otherwise.

Azula: My father would never let someone question his plans, no matter how valuable he was. Ask my brother Zuko. He got burned and he wasn't even valuable in the first place.

The Bachem was near suicidal as it was intended just to fire rockets and be disposed of afterward, the pilot intending to jump out before it crashed. This made it more fficent then the Komet cause it didn't crash on the airfield and cause damage to the tarmac. What killed the Bachem eventually was a series of set backs and delays, mostly resulting in crashed Natters, several unmanned some manned. The Americans finally captured the plant later in the war but were only able to capture four of the Natters, the remaining Six had been burned.

Azula: What a waste of such a devilishly wonderful concept.

The plane never launched in an actual combat situation, but if it did then for the few months it could've made an impact may have caused quite a few problems for the Americans. Since the planes were disposable they could easily be replaced. The problem would've been keeping the pilots trained to fly the thing alive. Since it was launched like any rocket other rocket of its time the G-Forces invovled would've made anyone riding inside ready to hurl. As for actually being able to escape the plane when its fuel ran out you had a slim chance. You may have died before you could pull the ripcord on your parachute or worse it would get tangled around you as you flipped over and over in the sky caused by the still speedy aircraft. Or you could run out of fuel early and suddenly crash. The plane was a death trap, no sense getting around that. More Germans would have suffered a horrible fate had this plane made it to service.

Gizmo: Lucky for them, now how are we gonna escape the same fate?

Hey, don't look at me. Did you see the blue fire and the lighting hands? That bitch is crazy! good luck though.

Gizmo: Thanks, that means a lot.

Azula: Schnell Slaves! (Cracks whip and villians work faster) Everytime I cause others pain it makes me feel... I don't know... alive.

Mai: Thats because you're sadistic sociopath.

Azula: Really, I thought this was normal.

--------------------------------------------

Somewhere over Germany, 2103 hrs...

Dick was never one to shy away from a mission, so when Korian had sent a request to his commandign officer that his squadron meet up with hers for a special assignment, Dick accepted. Of course the request didn;t give specifics other then rendezvous point and time for what Korian had wrote as "security reasons." The map said that the coordinates were 70 miles or so north of Berlin, taking into account the mission was taking place so close to Hitler's burning capital of his doomed empire Dick was assuming that whatever it was he had just signed onto was most likely big.

The other pilots didn't have any real complaints, they were just happy to get some action in with the war coming close to a close. They heard that the Allied troops were crossing the Rhine right now and that pretty much meant the game was up for Hitler. In a few short weeks things would be over. With the Russians pushing from the east and the American and British forces crossing into the Rhineland it wouldn't be long until their tours in Europe were over. They were hoping to bag a few more kills so they could all become aces or whatnot. The only problem for them was that theyw ere going to be up so late to get those kills.

They finally met up with Korian's Meteor jet planes at the rendezvous point.

"Bout time you showed up." She told them over the radio

"Hey these planes are fast," Wally protested "but we're flying all the way from French-German border. Give us a break."

"Doesn't matter," Korian told them "you're here now and we have a mission to do."

"What exactly is the mission anyway?" Dick asked

"Yeah you were remarkably vague on that part of the invite." Wally added.

"There is going to be a bombing raid on Berlin tommorow." Korian answered punctually "They're going hit anything of strategic value that they can. Strongpoints, factories, flak towers, command centers, anything that they can hit they're going to take out. It all part of the plan we agreed with the Russians. We smash as much Nazi property as possible and they can take the city faster when their troops get there."

"Super," Wally said "so why are we here again?"

"Because bombers in this sector have been continually harrassed by German interceptor fighters, particularly of the rocket kind." She told them "Ever heard of the Komet?"

"Yeah," Dick answered "Hitler put into mass-production a year ago. They've been hitting bomber formations ever since."

"Tangled with one or two when we were in P-51s." Wally added "Fast little buggers but once they ran out of fuel they turned into gliders and were easy pickings. From then on I just kept them away from the bombers and waited things out till they started gliding. Made things really long and really boring."

"Well trecently we discovered a airfield in this area." Korian told him "Recon photos showed it was packed to the gills with Komet rocket planes. It the place they've been deploying from ever since we started bombing Germany hard. Its the main source of pain for any bomber in this sector. We need take them out before they can disrupt tommorow's bomber raid."

"Simple enough," Dick said, but he immedietly added "what's the catch?"

Korian didn't answer right away, he could tell there was something else. He didn't want to tell them cause she wasn't sure of the intel. But it was best to do so just in case.

"Well, recent intelligence suggests the base is getting more rocket planes." She told them "But they're a different make, not Komets. They're called Natters."

The other two pilots were taken aback by this.

"Natters?" Wally said "I heard rumor about those. Some kind of rocket plane that rams bombers or something like a suicide attacker."

"Near-suicidal attacker." Korian told him "The Natter pilot isn't obligated to stay in the doomed craft. He's suppose to fire his missiles and jump. Of course, leaping out of a plane being powered by a rocket can end up snapping you neck from the G-force so... not exactly wise to fly it anyway."

Dick now understood the stakes of the mission, they were going up against some really dangerous aircraft. Despite their flaws they weren't something to trifle with. Komets were deadly for the small amount of time they were powered by rockets of course.

"So the mission is to strafe as much of the airfield as possible and blow up as many komets and Natters as we can." Dick elaborated "Okay got it, so why'd you pick us to help?"

"Simple," Korian told them "you managed to survive an encounter with the 229s and you were the closest field with operational jet aircraft. They're the only things that can keep up with the rocket planes."

"So we're just your only choice." Wally said

"Precisely."

"Well thats great," Wally said sarcastically "I feel all tingly inside."

"Stow it Wally," Dick told him "we're here now thats all that matters. Lets just try and kill some Krauts okay."

"Fine," Wally submitted "I guess I can accept that."

The P-80's and Meteors came over the airbase at that moment. The planes prepared themselves for their strafing runs. As they swooped closer to the airfield they saw several small stubby aircraft on the tarmac. Those were the Komets, they needed to hit as many as they could on the first run. The rest would probably launch the second they got the chance.

"Hit them hard!" Dick ordered

The P-80's swooped in low, firing machine guns into the Komets below them. Bullets slammed directly into the fuel tanks, rupturing them and exploding several.

"Rocket fuel makes this job all the easier." Wally said as he began his run.

Already there were smoking plane wrecks on the tarmac. Wally began firing his own guns at the other side of the field. He took out at least two Komets with his first salvo and a third with the next. Now the airfield was on full alert.

Korian's Meteor's swooped in for their run. The jet planes took out several Komets on the deck and killed a few pilots scrambling for the planes. Korian launched a rocket at the control tower. The rocket smacked straight into it and detonated. The control tower now burned brightly in the night sky.

Dick Came in next. While most of his wing went after the hangers by firing rockets into them, he struck the few komets left that were taxing down the runway. They were increasing in their speed rapidly. Dick fired his guns ahead of them. A few bullets found their mark and blew up on of the Komets. The one behind it smashed into the wreckage and exploded. The rest of the Komets had made it into the air. Still no sign of the fabled Natters though.

"I got the stragglers!" Wally said

He punched his P-80 after two the Komets that had gotten off the tarmac. Suddenly they turned sharply and came at him. The Bullets started whizzing by his windshield as they approached him. Wally did a barrel roll to avoid some of the ordanants and fired his own salvo of rounds. One of the bullets smacked dead on target and sliced through the plane into the fuselage. The engine caught on fire and the Komet spun out of control. The second one broke off and made a dash for the skyline. But Wally wasn't letting him get away. The Komet flew straight up into the sky, trying to reach the safety of its ceiling and hoping Wally wouldn't follow. Wally wasn't falling for it, he let the Komet keep going, waiting for his moment. Suddenly it came, the Komet suddenly eased off, unable to take the direct asent any longer. The engine wasn't powerful enough to keep it flying straight up for that period of time. The Komet tilted off, still making for the sky. Wally saw seized the moment and fired as many bullets as possible as he sped closer to the plane. The bulelts hit their mark and the komet caught on fire and exploded.

"Yeah!" Wally shouted "Whose faster now!?"

Dick followed after the last Komet that got away. It was speeding as fast as it could in a straight line, trying to put as much distance between the P-80 and him. But Dick's plane was catching up. The Komet swerved and rolled in air to try and thrwo Dick off. The P-80 didn't flinch and Dick fired a salvo round into the German plane. The wing of the Komet was shreaded by the rounds that penetrated it. The Komet decided to not run anymore and came at Dick head on.

"Fine then," he said "head on it is."

The Komet sped straight into Dick's line of fire and shot several rounds into the P-80. The plane's cockpit window was hit with several bulelts and started to crack, bullets smacked against's Dick's chair, one hit his arm. He tried his best to ignore so he could return the favor to the German he just shot him. Dick fired his own rounds at the Komet. They also slammed into the Cockpit, but these ones hit home. The pilot was riddeled with bullets and suddenly the Komet dropped from sight.

"See ya in hell Kraut." Dick mocked, as he held his arm "Damn, it hurts like hell. I'm lucky it missed my head. That rocket's speed must throw off the accuracy a bit."

Korian wasnow flying over the airfield, she was looking for so called Natter on the ground but they weren't there. Suddenly she saw smoking billowing from behind the hangers. Five shapes proppeled themselves upward from the ground, fire spraying out their backsides. It was the Natters, Korian heard they launched like actual rockets. They were already speeding away, there was no way they could get them all. Korian manuveured her plane into position and fired at the escaping planes. One of them exploded as it took off from the ground and fell back to earth. The other was hit directly in the engine and began to fly in spiral towards the sky. The plane then exploded spreadign debris everywhere. The other three had already sped off in the horizon.

"Looks like the Natters got away huh?" Dick said as he pulled alongside Korian

"Yes, but it doesn't matter." She told him "The planes only have one good ride out of them before they have to bail. I was just hoping we could destroy a few extra rocket engines so they couldn't use them again."

"Point is we completed the mission, this airfield is out of bussiness." Dick told her "Best we head home."

"Agreed." She told him "Thanks for the help Yank. I thought I could count on you."

"Just glad to get in a few more shots before this war is over." He told her, he then called Wally "Come on Wally lets head back."

"Man, over already." Wally said dissapointed "I was hoping for a bit of a challenge you know."

"Relax Wally," Korian told him "I have a feeling the most challenging days are ahead. The Germans are getting more and more desperate with these super weapons. I have a feeling they may just try something drastic to shift the war in their favour."

"Last time that happened they got themselves kicked right out of the Bulge." Dick reminded her "They were practically decimated, why would they try something like that again?"

"I don't think Hitler really cares at this point how many Germans he sends to their deaths." Korian told him "He knows its over, he's just trying to take as many of us out with him."


	18. Chapter 18

I'd like to apologize for the terrible wait. There was no reason it should've taken this long. All the blame rest on me. I'm a slow writer, very slow. I can't promise the next chapter will be up quickly. What I can promise is I will finish this story. I promise that.

* * *

**Chapter 18: Launching Torpedoes is for Sissies!**

The Axis loved its subs, no more so then Germany. If it weren't full the U-Boats of the Atlantic the Kreigsmarine would have played little to no actual part in the World War Two after the sinking of the Bismark and Hitler's subsequent orders for all surface ships to remain in port. U-Boats were the new era of naval warfare, preferably for their stealth capabilities. You could easily spot a battleship miles away with a plane, subs were slightly more difficult to find however.

Cyborg: We always stop off at the local sandwich store.

Very funny, I'm laughing at your corny joke... on the inside.

Cyborg: Oh you liked it.

In any case the Japanese and the Germans both used subs in their respected Campaigns against the Allies. Unfortunately for them neither was enough to win the war. That still didn't stop them from trying. A Japanese sub hit and sunk the USS Indianapolis which had just delivered the First Atomic bomb to the Air Force. A few days earlier and they probably could've ended several decades of future debate about the dropping of the bomb years before it started.

Chang: Oh boo-hoo, so a few thousand losers got incinerated because we missed the opportunity to take one bomb out. Seriously who gives a-

**In regards to those who were killed or are related to someone who was killed or lived through the actual bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki we'd like to apologise for Professor Chang's offensive comments. He has been beaten severely and cannot apologise himself on camera because of the massive blood loss.**

Anyway, controversy aside, submarine warfare hit its peak in WWII. The subs back then were primitive by today's standards, incredibly cramped and difficult to work in, but they got the job done. Well as long as they could stay hidden that was. Thing is the sub isn't good for much besides taking out enemy supply vessels and other targets of opportunity. Taking down an enemy nation's naval strength is one thing, but it can't win you the war in the long run.

Cyborg: Well what if the nation so to speak is essentially a nomadic sea faring people who live on the water in giant boats? Couldn't taking out the boats win you the war?

That's science fiction, incredibly implausible.

Cyborg: Fine you're no fun.

Subs weren't the only rising star of naval warfare. Aircraft carriers were now seen as a war winner, replacing the battleship as the most important ship in the fleet. It could both attack ships and land targets at a further distance and could bring an entire force of airplanes anywhere in the world. If someone could combine the stealth aspects of a Submarine with the abilities and qualities of an aircraft carrier you'd in theory have a force that would be undetectable and could unleash havoc on anyone, anywhere at any time.

Cyborg: We have something like that now... ballistic missile submarines.

Well sure, but a missile and a plane are two very different things as a plane can be reused.

Cyborg: Well its a lot more practical then stuffing planes inside a sub and launching them. Who would actually try and do that?

The Japanese, you know them if the potential is there they have to try. Why do you think they keep making robots out the ying yang while America is stuck in the dark ages of such design.

Japanese scientist: My robot can help feed the hungry and solve hostage crises with its superior negotiation skills. It also can make milkshakes, play basketball with its multi-jointed robotic fingers and has several thousand facial expressions that can be displayed through this realistic human face installed onto it. What can yours do honourable American Colleague?

American Scientist: Mine can destroy other robots in arenas for the amusement of others!

(Scientists look at one another for the longest time)

Japanese Scientist: Okay... that's... cool... I guess.

So anyway, Japanese Aircraft Carrier Submarines, where to begin? They were know as the Sen-Toku or I-400 class Submarine. One of the biggest Submarines at its time, weighing in at 6, 560 tons, could stay hidden under the water with a load of three sea planes ready to be launched anytime and anywhere. The Sen-Toku were specified for a specific mission, attacking the United States homeland. The Sen-Toku fleet when fully built would be launched, travel to the east coast of the States and then send in the planes to bomb and attack the cities of Washington DC, New York and destroy the Panama Canal. Had this plan been carried out and been successful it would've cut off Eastern Seaboard supplies to the Pacific front... not that it mattered since this was in 1944-45 and the Marines still had the Western Seaboard.

Chang: Yeah, yeah, so we didn't put that into the equation, whatever.

Cyborg: They couldn't have really gotten away with that... could they?

The Japanese and Germans used Subs to horrendous effect in the opening days of the USA's entry into the war. They sunk thousands of supplies worth of American shipping and wreaked havoc on the Western seaboard for quite awhile. Thankfully the war would never fully come to America's soil.

The entire plan to attack American industry with bombers launched from a sub however wasn't realistic at least not in the sense of what Japan was capable of at the time the plan was conceived. It probably could've been carried out but they would've need a lot more subs then they had to fulfill their desired objectives.

The plan for the Sen-Toku was scrapped eventually however, as word came down that the Allies were preparing to invade the home islands the Sen-Toku were positioned to destory the invasion fleet at their staging islands. That also didn't pan because out because-

Chang: Atomic bomb, surrender, blah, blah, we get it. We were very slow, I don't care. Let's see America build an underwater aircraft carrier, hmmh? They spent half their cash on that crappy floating ice sculpture in Canada!

You're forgetting an important piece of the aircraft carrier... the planes. The Sen-Toku could only carry three and all of only one type, the Aichi M6A floatplane. A two seater with only one gun mounted in the rear, a top speed of 295 mph and only able to carry a single torpedo or 800 kg bomb. Pretty much every plane the Americans had outclassed it.

Chang: But we made an underwater friggin aircraft carrier! Who cares?

The sub itself would've been fine without the aircraft carrying design. It had eight torpedo tubes, a machine gun and some heavy calibre guns it could use to hit ships with. Everything a sub needs to function, it was just bigger than the others.

Chang: Screw it! You people will never appreciate technological genius.

Cyborg: How exactly do you get a plane to launch from an underwater sub? What about water logging and flooding?

The Aichis were enclosed, so no worries about flooding the engine. If that happened they could easily drain it before flight. The planes would be launched using a catapult system and when their mission was complete they were meant to be ditched in the ocean and the pilots picked up.

The ultimate fate of the Sen-Toku however was to be scuttled by the US Navy at the end of the war. Apparently the folks in charge didn't want to reverse engineer the technology.

US Marine: We kicked their asses with our regular Carriers, why do we need more underwater?

Chang: See! No one thinks big anymore! Screw you all! Screw you and your unimaginative western minds! (Stomps off)

I think it's important to note that while the Sen-Toku were the closest to actually being used in the war, the Germans had their own mess of strange underwater craft for use that could also launch aircraft... but they weren't really Aircraft carriers since they one launched one plane and they were scrapped at the start of the war.

Control Freak: Can we skip being tortured by Azula then since we got nothing?

No you actually do have something, a submersible cruiser!

Control Freak: God Damnit!

(Whip cracks)

Azula: Work more slave! Mai has enough sharp knives to puncture your entire bloated body!

Mai: Do we really need to threaten them with knives? I mean... the whip is scary enough.

Azula: I know what is scary, Mai. I am the Fire Lord's daughter after all. Sheesh.

The Type XI-B U-Cruiser, like the German Underwater Carriers was conceived before the war. Back then torpedoes still hadn't come into their own and mounted turrets on a Sub's deck were seen as the best way to engage and sink an enemy vessel. Why I'm not sure. The point of a sub is to remain underwater and unseen by the enemy. By the time you surface, get the crew out, ready the gun, load it, fire it, store the gun again and submerge you've already lost the value of surprise... or you're sinking to the bottom of the ocean via large gaping hole in your U-boat..

Azula: Hey, the Fire Nation needs subs... despite the fact we've pretty much decimated the fleets of the other nations. The point is I need them to attack Bikini Bottom and finally destroy Spongebob once and for all. Look at this Nick schedule, he's got like 17 time slots a day, back to back, and a movie event like every other night!

But the U-Cruiser wasn't designed to engage underwater its designed to-

Azula: Did I ask your opinion? No! Shut up!

Fine, build the U-Cruiser. Won't help you kill that sea sponge. It was designed to attack surface objects with its anti-air and armoured turrets. It was more like a ship that could go underwater then an actual sub. It had torpedo tubes in the stern and bow, but the ship was designed to fight from the surface then retreat into the water when the job was done. This made it significantly larger then most submarines in order for it to carry its heavy gun load and the shells needed to keep them firing.

Azula: Fine, I can't use it underwater, so what? I can sneak these Cruisers close to land targets, surface and then bombard them into dust! Whats so bad about that?

Nothing really, but like the Germans you have something called... oh I don't know... a battleship to do that. Adding a sinking and floating feature just seems a bit much not to mention costly. Building this beast of a sub would've cost a lot of money for the Kriegsmarine and at the time there wasn't really a point to have a giant, massive submarine that would need to surface to do any real damage.

It also had the ability to launch scout planes that it stored in a vertical cylinder. This could in theory improve the XI-B's search capabilities. Or it would have if it wasn't using the Ardo Ar 231 Float plane.

Azula: Whats wrong with it?

Well after dragging the thing out, assembling it and getting it to launch properly if the sea wasn't too choppy was a hell of a lot of work. Not to mention it had the habit of breaking apart into little pieces when it landed. That's not a very good weapon to entrust your life to. Horrible bone-shattering death and the incredible pain that comes with it while slowly drowning in the ocean is a major turnoff for most pilots and anyone with half a brain.

Azula: I'll have to test that then. Ty Lee get us a living crash test dummy.

Ty Lee: We have plenty of conventional ones in the back Azula.

Azula: Yeah, those don't scream when they catch on fire, they make watching the tests less enjoyable. Take the fat one, he seems to be slightly less flame retardant then the rest. He may survive and still prove productive.

Control Freak: Mother.

Later Outside on the water...

Azula: Remember idiotic comic relief villian, if you live you get ten more seconds on your next break.

(Control Freak shakes nervously in the cockpit)

Control Freak: This thing isn't really going to fall apart is it?

It will, but the water should break your fall.

Control Freak: Ohhh.

(Plane begins to take off slowly, lifts of the water, a wave catches its tail flap and falls to the ocean in a great big splash. Control Freak trudges onto the beach soaking wet and a fish in his mouth.)

Azula: (Writing on clipboard) Float plane... counter-productive. Thank you for your help in this experiment slave. Back to work.

Control Freak: Someone please kill me already.

The U-Cruiser would eventually be scrapped as well because the German High Command decided it was far too costly and outdated by newer Sub tactics. Torpedoes had pretty much come into their own and the old days of U-Boats using deck guns was over. By this time a few incomplete hulls were finished and these had to be dismantled and refitted for more conventional subs. However where the true story ends, the conspiracy theory follows.

The idea is the U-Cruiser was actually finished, well one working model at least. The rest of the project was scrapped just like the real history states. This only U-Cruiser in existence is then said to have had one of three fates. All of them rather ridiculous when put them into context, kinda like all conspiracy theories when you think about it.

Without further delay lets us show off these three theories together in a production we like to call: Tin Foil Hat Theatre! Starring the now enslaved rogues gallery of the Teen Titans.

(Azula and her friends in on a balcony in a small theatre overlooking a stage)

Azula: This should be fun, even I need to take a break from killing and maiming people.

The first theory is that the U-Cruiser was meant to Hitler's escape sub, so he could travel to Brazil and establish a Fourth Reich.

Private Hive (dressed as Hitler): I will bring back glory to our people by abandoning this European hell hole and escaping to a tropical paradise. Heil me.

Fang: (Reading from Script): But how will you escape mein furher, the soviets have surrounded us all.

Private Hive: We shall use my awesome sub, it is totally rad.

(Large cardboard sub emerges from backstage with the help of henchmen holding it up.)

Fang: (Reading from script) The glories of the Reich and its technology know no bounds. Surely we are the master race.

Private Hive: Come let us leave our people to be enslaved by the Soviet menace as I am an asshole and just don't give a crap.

You know you guys could've read that with less detachment.

Private Hive: You're not the one with the scary fire bitch looking over you, it kinda drains the enthusiasm, sir.

Of course we now know that Hitler rejected all escape plans and refused to even leave his bunker at war's end. The second problem with this theory is the fact that the U-cruiser is far too big and impractical as a proper escape vehicle and a smaller sub would've been way more effective anyway.

(Cardboard sub collapsed onto stage knocking Private Hive over)

Private Hive: Oh the tragedy.

Azula: I have grown suddenly bored with this. Mai, get those two mediocre actors off the stage.

Mai: My pleasure.

(Private Hive and Fang run off the stage being chased by flying daggers)

Private Hive: Give me a break! I didn't understand my motivation!

The second theory is that the sub was meant to go on a covert operation one that would hopefully get America out of the war. The belief is the Dutch family was meant to help the Germans negotiate a separate peace with the US. If true this would've been a horrendous betrayal on America's part as part of the Allied nations who had agreed that only total surrender of the Axis powers would ever be accepted and no separate peace could be signed between one enemy nation to one allied one.

Private Hive: Don't send me out there again, sir. I can't act with that scary lady looking over us.

I got other actors, ones that are actually good for one.

(Kitten in a princess outfit waits on a dock)

Kitten: I am Princess Juliana of the Dutch Royal family and I am waiting here at Cape Cod for my submarine to arrive so that we can secretly end the war between Germany and America. Hopefully they'll actually come and won't stiff me.

The theory is that the same day Juliana left from Cape Cod, August 26 1944, a US boat patrol was looking for a German sub and found nothing. This supposedly means that the U-Cruiser was unable to rendezvous with Juliana and the American ship in order to help with the supposed separate peace agreement... or something... it's really confusing.

(Trident stand on a fake mock cut-out of a US ship)

Trident: I have searched the water all day and have not found a single submarine. It appears as if America will never be able to escape the war as without a signing of an agreement we are doomed.

(The Dock kitten is standing on breaks and she lands on her ass.)

Kitten: Cheap shoddy set workmanship! I'll sue!

To think that such a coincidence proves the existence of a conspiracy is incredibly stupid. The US navy and the British navy were looking for and failed to find subs all the time. For some reason Juliana was at Cape Cod to meet with Germans that would negotiate with Americans to help end the war and left when they didn't show because there was no other reason she could be there besides a conspiracy. No one goes to Cape Cod for a vacation it seems.

Kitten: I certainly don't, especially when the docks drop you on your ass into the water like this! Bullcrap!

I tried going on the internet to sort this thing out, all I turned up was a rather confusing loosely pieced together wall-o-text that couldn't prove anything outside a few coincidences. Suffice to say the entire conspiracy idea makes no sense anyway, since Juliana and her family were exiled by the Nazis and to think they'd actually want to negotiate with them is rather absurd.

Azula: I'm still bored!

(Trident runs off stage while Kitten gets to her feet. Ty Lee jumps down and hits her with so many jabs that she falls back to the floor unable to move.)

Kitten: Why did you do that?

Ty Lee: I don't know, I haven't done anything in awhile... here and on my own show. I just wanted to be involved.

(Kitten is dragged off set by henchmen)

Our last theory states that another sub, designated as a type IXC/40 was sunk a month or so earlier... which doesn't make sense since that's a different friggin Sub and the designation is really really confusing. The best I can do is come up with a whacky analogy.

(Atlas holds up plate of kraft dinner with ketchup and pepper on it with some fries on the side)

Atlas: This is a u-boat.

That's the third theory in a nutshell.

Azula: This was a waste of time. Mai, Ty Lee we're leaving, but first...

(A few minutes later, the entire theatre is in flames.)

Taking all of this into regard, the U-Cruiser was far outclassed by everything else out there by the time it was ready. Like the Atari gaming system was when the Nintendo Entertainment System and Sega Genesis arrived.

Gizmo: You managed to sneak in game humour there, nice.

Thank you, we needed some analogy to explain it. Anyway even if one ship had been built and used against the allies it wouldn't have mattered, a battleship or destroyer could easily destroy it with a few well placed rounds before it could get a shot off. Subs aren't meant to fight like battleships, trying to make one do so is a waste of resources.

Azula: So much for my schemes, guess we'll have to scrap it.

Of course there could've been one practical use for this outclassed and useless sinking ship... coastal bombardment.

(Azula stops in her tracks)

Azula: Oh really?

Actually that's supposed to be "O RLY?" you see it's an internet me-

Azula: Shut up! I didn't ask you to explain your ridiculous internet code of conduct to me! Just get on with the story and let me do my job as evil princess. Go!

London, England, 1st of April, 1945

A few weeks after the Mission in the Pacific, Logan and Ravenna were back in England at last and ready to be debrief on what they had found in at the Japanese base. The troubling reports of secret weapons manufacturing, shared jet plane technology with the Japanese, and most disturbing a new strange bomber they could identify as '390'. Whatever it was, Brig. General Steve Dayton was not happy about it.

"The way you both described the aircraft is most troubling." he told them "If this report is accurate its twice the size of many of our regular bombers and what's worse it has very large range."

"If it can get from the Pacific to Germany without refuelling once it's safe to say that it can easily reach any allied capital or city." Ravenna finished for the general "Washington, London, Paris, not even Moscow is safe."

Logan shook his head.

"Just what we need right now," he said "war almost over and every major city in europe and and the Eastern seaboard of the United States is in the crosshairs of a giant bomber we know nothing about."

"I doubt that's the least of our worries," Dayton told him "the Nazis are sacrificing too many resources to just stop at making bombers, huge tanks and guns. There are probably we don't even know about."

"But why are they bothering at all?" Logan asked "I mean, even if they manage to get this 390 to America and bomb a few cities it won't change the outcome. Hitler's finished we all know that!"

"I hardly think this is about winning anymore Logan," Ravenna told him "Hitler is running his country into the ground with this reckless spending. I think he's willing to take us all down with him when Berlin goes."

"Which is why we need to know more about this 390 bomber." Dayton told them, getting up from his desk "Lucky for us recent events have given us the opportunity to find answers."

Opportunity? What was the General talking about? Logan could smell another mission coming on, that was for sure.

"Where you sending us now sir?" Logan asked

Dayton walked over to the large map of Europe on the wall, with several flags and lines drawn across it, each for a different frontline. A frontline closing on Berlin.

"Recent success in western Germany has allowed several divisions of the armoured and infantry divisions of the Allied forces to push further and further into Germany." He explained "They're almost at the outskirts of Berlin right now."

Ravenna's face became sour. Logan could notice a tinge of anger and disgust at the news. He'd thought that being told Berlin was going to fall would make her happy. Then he realised, it wasn't falling the way she wanted.

"So the Americans and British are going to attack Berlin?" she asked

"Not alone," Dayton assured "your fellow Russians have made a huge push to Berlin. They're only a few miles out as well. However they've halted the advance for now."

"Why?" Logan asked "Hitler's this close to getting his assed kicked."

"Yes that is true," Dayton admitted "but recent influxes of Germany's advanced weapons is starting to get on the Russians and our nerves. Churchill and Eisenhower have both sent messages to Stalin imploring them to help ease the stress for both our fronts by attacking together. Rumour is, he's agreed."

Ravenna's eyes seemed to widen, in semi-state of shock and surprise. The news had apparently shattered something she once believed to be true.

"Stalin," she said slowly "Stalin has agreed to ask for help in taking Berlin? Why?"

"It wasn't easy to convince him I hear," Dayton told her "and he hasn't accepted anything yet. He's asking his Generals now what their assessment is and trying to work out a deal that assures his men will take the Reichstag and no one else and that he will be allowed to try Hitler for war crimes in his country."

"But the belief is we'll be joining the Ruskies in the attack?" Logan asked

"Precisely," Dayton confirmed "that bring us to our chance. We have intelligence from our agents in Berlin that confirm where the offices of that German general you saw in the pacific are.

"You mean Deathstroke." Ravenna said with venom in her voice

Dayton nodded

"We're going to send you to the Eastern front to join up with the Russians in the attack." He told them "You'll push in to heart of the Third Reich, breach the office of Deathstroke and find out what he's planning. If there's information on this project, he must have it."

"We won't fail you sir." Logan told him

"You better not," Dayton replied "it's not just our lives that are on the line here now. You leave in a few days, till then, just enjoy London."

Ravenna and Logan left Dayton's office shortly after.

"Well bussiness is done for the day," Logan said "wanna go down to a nice English pub and graba few beers? Bet they got vodka somewhere."

"I'd rather read up on the intelligence reports for the mission." she told him "I want to know what we're going into."

"Lighten up Rae," he told her playfully "that can wait. Let's just have some fun for a few hours."

Ravenna seemed to snap at the suggestion from Logan to have fun. Like it was some kind of curse word to her.

"I can't have fun with a war waging on." she told him "How you can I don't know, but I can't."

Logan put up his hands in a defensive action.

"Whoa, whoa," Logan told her "I get the picture. 'I've seen too much death, I've seen too much war, I've seen too much pain.' I get the picture Rae. That doesn't mean you can't just loosen up a bit."

"I'll loosen up when Hitler and Deathstroke are dead," Ravenna told him harshly "not before."

She walked away, apparently trying to lose Logan. He kept following her though, with renewed interest in the conversation.

"What's with the Deathstroke jive?" He asked her "Every time his name pops up you go all cold and venomous."

"It's none of your concern." She told him "So let it drop."

"Hey," Logan told her "we're on the same mission remember? Finding out about this plan the Nazis are cooking up and Deathstroke is the head honcho behind it it seems. If I'm going into this with you I gotta know what it's about."

Ravenna stopped in her tracks and looked at Logan sternly.

"Do you really want to know that badly why I hate Deahtstroke?" she asked

"Yes," Logan told her "like you said so yourself 'I'd like to know what I'm getting into'."

Ravenna seemed to become less tense, she didn't smile at him but she seemed to relent to his logic. As hard as that must've been for her.

"I'll tell you about over lunch then." she said

"Great," Logan replied "let's go."

As the two walked down the hall to the exit of the command center Ravenna had one last thing to add.

"By the way," she said "don't call me Rae."

English Coastline, Radar Station near Dover

A few years ago this was the frontline of the war, now it was just sentry duty, waiting for any possible bombers or foolish Jerry planes to come strafing in. For the operators here at the radar station the war was over. The Blitz was long gone, the Germans being thrown back on their own soil, the Allies close to victory. All that was left was to have some tea and remain on the job till the peace treaty came.

Thats what Corporal Evans, who was at the moment manning the radar screen, thought at least. There were no blips on the screen, so there didn't seem to be any cause for alarm. Why everyone was suddenly rushing outside confused him. Following he saw them all peering off into the channel. Apparently something had surfaced and they were trying to get a good peek at it.

Evans saw a large craft, it looked like a u-boat except it was much bigger... much, much bigger. The craft supported two large guns on either end of the ship. Suddenly those guns were aimed at them. With a large bang everyone instantly ran for cover. The shells slammed into the radar station, taking out the anti-aircraft guns situated there as well.

The phone line was still up though, Evans made a call to command, that a large sub was on the coast and had fired on their radar station. It seemed to be heading down further, to find more radar stations to pounce on.

The sub was the least of their worries however. As the operators got to their feet and took a look at the sky they saw several silhouettes of aircraft approaching the coast, fast. Definitely jets. Thanks to the sub they couldn't fire back at them, but they could call it in to command and that's exactly what Evans did.

"Several small fighter aircraft heading in from the mainland sir!" he said "They look like ME-262, and there's a lot of them."

Evans then saw something else. Flying lower than the jets were more than a dozen smaller stranger aircraft, one he had never seen before. It had wings, but on each one was some kind of bladed rotor. Whatever they were they were streaming in with the jets and headed inland.

The sub had opened the way for them, without the anti-aircraft guns or the radar stations to warn command they had a straight shot at London. But they forgot to kill Evans or the phone line, and that's all they needed.

The Sub continued along its way blasting radar stations along the coast. Someone was going to have to stop this thing, or else England would be blind and open for a full-scale attack from the air.

What's up with the weird airplanes? Find out next chapter.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's note: Finally! Done! I'm very pleased with this one really, although I screwed up a lot in the intial write up I corrected it all very quickly. Honestly, the first cut was really bad, very bad. But its fixed now. Just finished it all today. Now its better.

Hopefully this story will kick into overdrive now. I wanna get this fan fic done so I can do this great Idea I came up with for a new fanfic. So enjoy the new chapter folks, read and review.

--

Chapter 19:

Flight of the Osprey's Flailing Grand-Daddy!

Anyone who bothers to catch the US miliary law drama "JAG" on TV, even just one episode, can pretty much tell everything about the characters and the show within a few seconds. Essentially, the Judge Advocate General corps, the US Navy's court of law, is full of young buxom All-American hardasses. Some of them are complete total piles of masculine alpha male testosterone, and others are hot semi-problematic chicks who have issues with men, serious issues. That and they're followed by fat comedy relief sidekicks as well. Also most of the show's existence relies on the Pentagon letting them borrow military hardware so a lot of it tends to be pro-US army. Note I didn't say pro-US government, as they can start getting pissy about American policies... just none that pertain to America's military. Thats happens when you ask the DOD for help.

And if you haven't seen the show... you have no idea what I'm talking about or where the hell I'm going with any of this. Fine, here's a demonstration. Starring Robin and Starfire just because we need to use the Titans once and again.

Announcer: Following in his father's footsteps, Commander Harman Rabb, nicknamed Harm because the guy who makes up nicknames was on leave that day, became a navy fighter pilot. But one day he totally f'ed up and lost his ability to see at night.

Robin: MY EYES! THEY BURN! I'M BLIND!

Announcer: Even though he had no real degree in practicing law, Rabb became a lawyer for the Judge Advocate General corps, who apparently dictate the law of the sea, even though that job is technically Poseidon's. So now he's a Navy Lawyer. Man thats a big step down from fighter ace. Together with Colonel Mackenzie, nicknamed Mac cause the guy who makes up the names became a vegetable after being hit by a car before he could get to her, they protect innocent soldiers from being wrongfully prosecuted, solve heavy handed mysteries of political intrigue together, the kinda stuff that should left in the hands of actual military police, and at times even fight international terrorism to keep the show interesting. All the while building romantic sexually repressed tension along the way

Stafire: These clothes aren't revealing enough.

Wait till the Australian special Star, wait till then. Of course it will be heavily and cleaverily censored by the FCC, but you get the picture.

Robin: Can we get on with this?

There were some episodes of JAG that focus on real Military issues, you know, to make things look more realistic. War in Iraq? JAG was there! Kosovo? JAG was there! Troubles in South America? Yep, JAG was there too... even though half the time it didn't make much sense.

One episode focused on selling a particular heavy handed piece of military equipment that was suffering development problems at the time. The Verticle Take-Off and Landing aircraft, known as the Osprey. Which many fans of Splinter Cell may recognize as Sam Fisher's personal go to anywhere ride in the sky.

Heres how the episode went overall...

Robin: Do we have to do this?

Star: I don't see the significance of what any of this has to do with WWII?

Shut up and just play your parts, geez. All will be explained in time. Why you all such annoying bitches! GOD!

Robin: Fine, ahem. (In character) Apparently an Osprey has crash and killed a US marine. We must go and find out whether or not it was pilot error or a problem with the aircraft.

Starfire: Even though this is probably something for actual investigators to look into and doesn't really need two Navy lawyers I will go as well to help Harm... and to give the fans more thinly veiled sexual tension.

Later on the ship they apparently meet a senator who for no good reason hates the Osprey.

Senator: Its a waste of resources, we should spend the budget on boring crap like roads and schools.

Robin: But the Osprey can lift off like a helicopter and fly as fast as a plane. What's not to love? Come for a test flight, I'm sure you'll see its awesome.

Senator: I will give you the benefit of the doubt since nothing could possibly go wrong.

The senator gets her neck broken because the osprey bumps up. Further antagonizing her against the machine. Eventually it all comes down to Harm giving a heart warming speech of feel good Americanism. We'll sum it up here.

Robin: The Osprey needs fine tuning sure, but we can't progress because without progress our military will fall behind the rest of the world. Despite the fact we're fighting a bunch of douchebag terrorists now a days with nothing but IEDs and suicide bombs. But you never know when North Korea might show up.

In the end the Osprey got off the hook, the Senator was turned around and everything was okie dokey! Plus, thinly veiled sexual tension between Harm and Mac was there... as it always friggin is.

Truth is, the Osprey was in development hell for years. It cost billions of dolalrs to refine, but the end result is a rather solid aircraft that can lift off like a helicopter and fly like an airplane. Its mainly used by the Marines for getting them in and out of hot zones fast. It took awhile, but with time the Osprey found its niche.

However, for the Axis years before, time was a commodity they didn't have. Nevertheless they were the first to try and make a VTOL aircraft... and failed horribly. It was called the Wesser WP 1003/1, for time purposes we'll call is Wessey. Say hello to Wessey folks!

Robin: Its a machine it can't say hello.

Shut up. Wessey here is a smaller, less technically advanced version of the Osprey. It also has a different system of going from Airplane to Helicopter mode. The Osprey rotates the actual rotors and its connecting engines, giving the vehicle more stability and flexibility in the air. Wessey had a different design, based on an early helicopter called the Fa-223 Drache. This vehicle looks incredibly ridiculous but it works. It has two huge rotors and a tail fin. These two rotors are attached to wing like implements, which make its look like poorly designed airplane. Nevertheless the Drache could fly. So why not adopt the design to Wessey?

Robin: Because it ends badly I'm guessing

Wessey is a fixed wing VTOL aircraft, these are ancient VTOLs essentially with a major design flaw that nobody seemed to figure out till later. You can lift off like a helicopter just fine with these kind of crafts, the trouble comes when you switch to airplane mode. You see unlike the rotors based system, the whole wing moves when you switch to airplane mode. You have to be moving when you do it and you'll see why. GIR, please show them.

(GIR is inside a Wessey and flying in helicopter mode.)

GIR: Bzzzzzzzz, I'm a bee! BZZZZZZZZ!

Stop imitating the rotor. Anyway as you switch to airplane mode the vehicle no longer follows the rules of a chopper, just the rules of a plane. Choppers are held up by their rotors which provide them with the needed lift to get off the ground. Planes need their wings. The problem is if the wings are angled the wrong way you won't get the lift you need to fly. When the Wessey switches modes its wings are for a few seconds pointed in a position that makes it impossible for the wind currents to properly hold up the plane. Thus the vehicle stalls, dies and ultimately...

(Wessey looses lift and begins to fall)

GIR: Hello ground! (CRASH!) I can see my butt! Hey butt!

Ouch. The Osprey solves this problem because the wings don't move, just the rotors. Its able to glide for those few precious seconds when the rotors are switching modes. That and the process is rather quick anyway. Wessey has to keep moving and even then theres no guarantee it will stay up in the air. Considering the Osprey itself was plagued with more pressing matters then wing design, its more then likely that Wessey's problems and its 1940's era technology would have struggled to get airborne.

Robin: Struggled eh? I'm guessing this is gonna be like on of those black and white personal flying machines from the early 20th century then.

Take a look for yourself bird boy

(Wessey just bounces off the ground several times in a deseperate attempt to fly.)

Robin: Its just gonna keep doing that isn't it.

(Wessey continues to hop out of the hanger, onto the runway, and gets runover by a landing 747)

Robin: Okay, this is starting to become pathetic. So whats the specs?

Wessey has no arnament, probably never would. Then again they tried making the Drache a bomber, so who knows. It had a decent speed, but poor armour, easily killed by enemy aircraft, even easier to catch. Most likely would've been used for light recon or transporting troops to the battlefield. But with the slew of obvious technical problems facing the Germans its highly unlikely it would've seen any action. Which begs the question here folks, I've explained how ancient this kind of tech is and how dangerous it is to operate. Yet I suspect Azula is, as of now, trying to get one of her own up and running.

Azula: Damn straight I am.

Why dare I ask?

Azula: Look, in my show I don't have to worry about being blown out of the sky. We took care of the airbenders, we're good. As for the tech problems, well adding the rotor system instead of the whole fixed wing idea... yeah I think we can manage that.

Billy: Great, Rage just gave away a damn secret. Now Billy has to build this high faluting rotor thingy too. Billy is pissed at him now.

Azula: No complaining slave! Back to work! (Fire whips Billy Numerous)

Billy: Ah!

Azula: Excellent.

Don't you already have flying blimps of death? Why go for over kill with these VTOL aircraft?

Azula: I like overkill, ask Ty Lee.

Ty Lee: Once Azula killed this bug, but smashing it wasn't enough so she... uh... do I have to tell this story its embarassing.

Azula: Ty Lee, no one cares. So your reputation is shot and boys will think less of you. It doesn't effect me does it?

Ty Lee: (Submissive) No.

Azula: Then tell the story.

Ty Lee: Alright fine.

Someone has a tight psychological grip choking the existence out of them here and its not Azula or me thats for sure.

Ty Lee: Oh shut up. Anyway she made me chew the bug up, then spit it out, then placed it in Komodo Rhino poop and made me eat it again before spitting it into the fire place.

Azula: Man was that a fun day.

Ty Lee: I had to spend six hours trying to get my breath to smell nice again.

Azula: And I spent Six hours laughing my ass off, therefore everyone had a fun day at the expense of you because I was too busy relishing in that bug's death to torture anyone... even Zuzu.

Azula in the short time you've been in this story you've revealed you share many of the troubling signs of a serial killer in waiting. You torture small animals, you feel a sense of entitlement over your peers and you obviously have parental issues.

Azula: I don't have parental issues okay. Just because my mother loved my big brother more then me because she was a disgusting rotting waste of human skin, doesn't mean I have parental issues. Plus those Turtle-Ducks had it coming... they were mocking me with their quacks.

Okay... sure. Back to Wessey vs those Blimps. No other country in your world has those war blimps, I doubt even those morons in Dimmsdale on the Fairly Oddparents show could muster up a defence against them.

Azula: They have magic fairies, they can just wish me away. Lucky for me I'm working on a way to fix that problem. Mumbo! Progress Report!

(Mumbo is seen covered in dirt and soot working on a large vehicle)

Mumbo: I'm infusing the armour with magic counter-spells as fast as I can.

Azula: Not fast enough! You've continually slacked off and missed important deadlines. This one should've been finished a mere two seconds ago and you've wasted practically all that time talking to me!

Mumbo: But you wanted a progress-

Azula: Silence! You're becoming a burden to this organization. And you know what happens to burdens... they go to the furnace rooms.

DA DA!

Mumbo: Not the furnace! Anything but the furnace!

Azula: You'll be placed in one of our large cremation chambers and forced to endure the most gruesome form of execution know to man! Listening to Chong the Nomad's crappy hippie songs!

(Shift to Chong in furnace)

Chong: (Singing) Azula, locked me up in this furnace,

Gives me people to sing songs to.

Trapped in here forever and die.

Hmm, that wasn't up beat enough... oh I know!

SECRET TUNNEL! SECRET TUNNEL!

Mumbo: Sweet mother of god!

Azula: Now work faster you no talent blue faced excuse for a magician! Schnell!

(Mumbo begins placing counter spells faster)

Look Azula, I'm just gonna come out and say it. I appreciate the fact you've been able to increase the obvious Nazi reference jokes to a new level, but its starting to make even ME worry about the safety of my extras. I still need them for the rest of the fanfic.

Azula: Oh relax, I'm not killing anyone important. Just torturing them. I use the lesser important henchmen as guinea pigs to make sure this stuff works. I can show you some examples if you like.

That won't be-

Azula: MAI! Play the demonstration film!

(Mai sits up in projector booth and sighs)

Mai: This job is so boring.

(Projector starts up and begins playing a film)

Azula: These are all scenes of our tests on the Wessey aircraft. Here you can see the blades of this vehicle spin off through the cockpit as it hits the ground with ones of its wings.

Pilot: OH GOD! MY TORSO!

Azula: Next is this wonderful scene where the dummy ended up catching on fire. He exited the wreckage screaming some sort of non-sensical shit. I think he was making some sort of plea towards us to offer him assistance for his dire situation. Whats that called?

Asking for help.

Azula: Oh right, well I didn't really get it so I let nature take its course.

Pilot: I'M BURNING TO DEATH! WHY DOESN'T ANYONE HELP ME!? THERE'S A FIRE EXTINGUISHER RIGHT THERE! JESUS CHRIST!

Azula: This next clip, well, the vehicle didn't even get off the ground. It just kinda bounced up and down instead.

Well thats not so bad.

Azula: Then it kinda bounced into one of those jet planes though. Not pretty. Well the explosion was, but everything else after that wasn't.

(KA-BOOM!)

Okay I've seen enough. Azula you have issues, serious issues. I think it would be better for all of us if we just went to the actual story now.

Azula: Fine, I'll watch the rest myself. MAI! Get me popcorn!

Mai: God I hate this job.

--

English Countryside, 1st of April, 1945

Korian's Meteor Squadron had gotten the report just an hour ago. A submarine of somesort surfaced and opened fire on a section of England's anti-air defences along the coast. Effectively opening up a small hole big enough to let in a bunch of small aircraft. They weren't paratroop planes or jets or prop-planes though, the report described them as "Never seen before." While Korian had no description as to what to look for, she figured that if she spotted somekind of aircraft that didn't look famillar to her she'd have her target.

Soon she saw it, a large squad of planes, well she assumed they were planes. They had their props sticking upwards and their wings turned up with them. It baffled her as to what they were. But they had German cross on them from what she could see, so they weren't friendly. Thats all she really needed to know.

"Those are some rather strange planes," said one of her wingmen "what you make of them ma'am?"

"More of Uncle Adolf's wonderweapons no doubt." She told him "I have nothing on them though, must've just come off the assembly line. That not why we're here though. Whats their heading?"

One of her wingmen calculated their position quickly with his map on the dashboard.

"Well, at the way they're going they'll be in London in a few short minutes." He explained

"They're not going to make it to London," Korian exclaimed "not if I have anything to say about it. Get past their escorts, shoot those strange planes down. Their mission ends here."

Korian's Meteors descended on the new aircraft, barely even flinching at the prop plane escorts that tried to stop them. Closing in for the kill, Korian opened a salvo of rounds on the strange twin propellored aircraft and jsut as quickly as she fired the whole thing fell apart in the air. The blades of the propellor spun off wildly and the entire craft simply dipped into the countryside, its wing burning brightly as it fell to earth.

It wasn't a fight, it was a massacre. Korian could've been in a Hurricane fighter plane and easily killed these things. The jet propelled meteors soon felt like overkill as one by one each of these new aircraft dropped out of the sky. The only thing that was unexpected was how exactly they would die which could range from exploding into fire balls or their cockpits being shreeded to bits. One aircraft even suddenly turned its wings around, apparently changing into a regular airplane, but the craft suddenly dropped out of the sky and crashed. Korian could tell why, it was unable to maintain lift in its transformation. These planes practiucally killed themselves.

Three of the planes however managed to transform proper into regular airplanes and sped off slightly faster. Korian could've followed but ME 262s had suddenly shown up from behind to aid the now scattered prop escorts and new aircraft in their mission. Korian had to break off to engage them and help her men.

"How many got through?" Korian demanded over the radio as she turned back

"A squad of spitfires a few miles west reported they took out a whole flight of those things." Announced one wing man "Another squad says two escaped from them."

That meant at least five of these machines were scotfree one their way to London. She could only hope the boys on the ground could handle the new problem by themselves.

--

London, a few minutes later, Leicester Square

Ravenna was eventually glad she took Lieutenant Logan up on his offer, after the first minutes of walking around te city she honestly had no idea where they were going or where anything was. Her enterance into the city the first time was incredibly jarring, considering both the plane and the car had the side windows blotted out so she couldn't see in her compartment. Being a Russian and a member of the Communist party seemed to make her a security risk. Now that she was under the care of an OSS agent, Logan was deemed all the security needed to keep her from trying to gather intelligence on the city and Britian as a whole, like how many outdoor restaurants there were or what exactly made the fish and chips taste so good. Both Logan and Ravenna found the concept ridiculous, as there was nothing in plain sight that Ravenna could see that Stalin would find interesting. Even the anti-aircraft guns and military transports that were running through the city at times weren't all that important to her. They would be gone from the streets once the war was over anyway. Ravenna herself was somewhat more taken with the city then Logan, considering this was the first time she was getting to see more of it.

"It must be convienent for the English to have such a big clock over their heads all the time." she said "Back in Russia I can never tell the time."

"Watches are all frozen?" Logan asked jokingly

"No they're broken or no one has any." She explained "Plus after a few days on the front, time doesn't matter anymore."

It was only a few minutes past noon and the city had dozens of people walking around, getting groceries, picking up the paper, stopping at restaurants and cafes to get some lunch. Ravenna couldn't help but watch the Londoners all bustling about. Logan easily spotted her inability to stop staring at what he saw as average behaviour.

"You look as if you never saw a city before." Logan told her

"I have just not a place like this." She explained "I've only been to two real cities in my life, Moscow and Stalingrad. The latter was practically destroyed by the time I got there and Moscow... well... its different city. No one is ever running about like you, they're either in line waiting for food or shivering as they try to get to their jobs in the factories."

"Well we stand in line to," Logan corrected her "I mean its war, we ration, lines get long."

"The lines usually stretch halfway down the block," Ravenna told Logan flatly "how long is the average line at your grocer?"

"At worst I guess... aisle three? Heh, heh." Logan chuckled, this was quickly turning into a 'my life is harder then yours' conversation. so Logan tried to change the subject.

"Okay lets get back to the whole city thing," Logan said as they began walking once more "are you from the rural areas of Russia?"

"I think thats the only other place I be from besides the city the Lieutenant." Ravenna answered in annoyed tone of voice "What kind of question is that?"

"Hey I'm just making small talk here." Logan explained "Figured if you told me where you grew up I could tell you where I grew up."

Ravenna just sighed at this.

"If this is just another excuse to get me to share more life stories-"

"Listen," Logan told her "we're working together now okay. The fact that all we seem to know about each other is that you're Russian operative who survived Stalingrad and I'm a OSS agent kinda makes this relationship impersonal."

"Thats what keeps it professional." Explained Ravenna "We can't get too attached to working with each other. Either we'll both die before this war is over or simply be shipped back to our respective countries. Its best if we keep this partnership like this, that way we don't miss each other when we're gone."

Ravenna tried to walk away but Logan rushed over and blocked her off.

"What is with you and this strange lack of actual emotions?" Logan asked "Ever since we met you've barely even smiled let alone laughed."

"We're at war theres nothing to laugh or smile at." Ravenna explained

"Does this have anything to do with what happen back there in the Pacific and that German guy, Deathstroke?" Logan asked

He expected her to flinch or get enraged over the question, but she didn't. She looked as monotone as ever.

"Even if it did it is none of your bussiness." She told him

"No it is," Logan told her "the fact is he's involved in whatever the Jerries are planning and I need to know what you know about him. Not just that he killed a bunch of people, everything you know about him. I can't have you with-holding information on me when we're going to be going into a warzone in a few days. You said you'd tell me whats up with him, so would you mind telling me what is up?"

The Russian girl sighed and shook her head, apparently admiting defeat in the argument.

"Fine," she said "you have a point. I should be telling you about who he is. Lets find some place to talk."

"I know just the place." Logan smirked

--

Later in pub nearby, the two finally sat down. Ravenna however wasn't exactly pleased with the accomadations.

"This place smells of alcohol." She said

"Its a pub, its suppose to." Explained Logan "Just relax okay."

The waiter arrived at their table soon after they sat down.

"Can I get you or your girlfriend anything sir?" he asked

"I am not his girl-"

Ravenna was interrupted by Logan before she could finish.

"Just a beer please, she doesn't drink." He explained

The waiter walked off to get Logan's drink. Unfortunately this left the Lieutenant alone to face the growing frustration on Ravenna's face.

"Okay, fine." He said "I guess I should've picked some place that would have a less... intimate setting. Still its the most private place I could think of."

"Theres over twenty people here." She told him "How do you define private in your country?"

"Can we get to the point, who is Deathstroke and how do you know him?" Logan asked

"I know him because I saw him burn my village to the ground." Ravenna explained

Immedietly Logan seemed to regret pressuring her to answer his questions. No wonder she was so adamant in not talking about it.

"He's the one isn't he?" Logan asked "The one thats responsible for killing your mom."

"I only caught a glimpse of him before the soldiers rushed into our house," she explained "I have no doubt he was the one in charge. He pointed my house out to the other germans, he ordered them to attack my home. So yes he was the one who killed her."

"Considering you're so incredibly sure about that I don't doubt it." Logan told her.

Ravenna didn't seem to hear that statement, and just kept rambling on.

"Maybe it was an order he'd been given, maybe he was doing it to achieve food supplies for his men and keep partisans from seeking revenge," Ravenna went on "or maybe he did it for the fun. Who knows really? The point is he killed her and thats all I care about."

The waiter came back with Logan's beer and then walked off. When Ravenna felt comfortable no one else would interupt the story she continued.

"I didn't tell you this before but I spent my days after my mother died crying to myself." she explained "I let my emotions over the tragedy get the better of me, I blamed myself regularly not seeing who was truly at fault. Then I realised that focusing on her death wasn't going to solve anything, only after seeing the aftermath of other German raids on Russian villages and shooting those Germans myself did I realise the only path to righting the wrongs Deathstroke commited was by making sure he and his fellow facists failed in their mission."

"So all this time, the reason you don't show any emotion or very little emotion at all is because you're incredibly focused on killing Deathstroke?" Logan asked "Until you've killed him you can't be distracted by anything else."

"Not kill," Ravenna told him "thats too good for him. Not after everything he's done. No he needs to fail, loose the war, the one he's fought so hard to win for his precious fuhrer. I don't him to be the one to kill him, I want to watch the look on his face as he sees that the Nazi dream has utterly crumbled before his eyes and theres nothing he can do to stop it. I want to see justice done, that is all. Let someone else hang him, I'll watch it and just to see his face. But I won't be the one to kill him, just the one to deliver justice unto him and watch him suffer as its carried out. Then I will be at peace."

"Thats kinda cold." Logan told her "But considering he's a Nazi I can't really argue with you."

"Cold it may be," Ravenna admited "but as you said its the only thing I can do. I can't be distracted by my emotions again. If Deathstroke is to pay for his crimes I must remain impersonal, I can't let my emotions control me again. I can't let them cloud my mind from the task at hand."

"You keep talking about Deathstroke's crimes," Logan said "what exactly has he done besides kill your mom?"

"We have a file on him a mile long." Ravenna explained "He's killed thousands of people on the Eastern front, organized slave labour for many of the vegeance weapons, the V3 slaves you saved... he brought them to that camp. He's been helping to assemble Hitler's wonder weapons for years and planning on how to properly use them all. Every major secret weapon Hitler has unleashed is the direct result of Deathstroke's pressuring for their use. He especially likes to test the latest prototypes on live victims. He used a Ratte once to level a whole village in Italy just because he wanted to see the size of the crater it left."

Logan could only shiver at this prospect.

"Mean son of a bitch huh?" Logan asked

There was a long pause between the two, both absorbing the information and trying not to fully think about it as well. Finally Logan broke the somber mood.

"I'll help you get him Rae." He told her "I'll help you get him."

"Just worry about stopping his plan." She told him "And don't call me Rae."

Logan shrugged and went to take a sip of his beer when he heard come kind of chopping noise coming from otuside. He was immedietly suspcious of it all

"Fighter patrol?" Asked Ravenna

"No not over London, thats for sure." Logan said standing up "Besides that doesn't sound like a Spitfire to me. We got trouble, come on!"

Logan put some english pounds down on the table and he and Ravenna rushed out the door. When they got outside they saw a large hovering craft witht he German cross on its tail floating overhead.

"What the hell is that thing?" Logan asked

"Don't ask me, nothing in the files about that." Ravenna told her

The aircraft kept flying over their head, out of Leicester Square and with it several other aircraft of similar shape and size.

"Where are they headed?" Ravenna asked

"If they keep going that way they'll be on Downing Street in a few short minutes." Logan told her "We gotta beat them there, whatever they're planning it can't be good."

"Why? What is on Downing street?" Ravenna asked as Logan grabbed her hand and tugged her along

"A certain cigar chomping Limey with a bowler hat and a pension for oration." Logan told her "Now come on!"

--

Downing Street, minutes later

Logan and Ravenna had to commodere a passing motorist's car to get to Downing street in time. Even then the though it was still too late. As they slammed the breaks and got out of the car, the strange new aircraft were already there above the street and beginning to land. They were shifting into some strange upwards propellor form with their wings. As the transformation took place the whole aircraft seemed to just dropped out of the sky and smash into a building. It hadn't be hit, it just looked like it had lost the ability to stay afloat.

The other machines began landing in Downing street on rooftops and in the streets. Out of them barrels German soldiers in full combat gear and armed to the teeth with automatic Stg-44 Rifles. Already British soldiers and national guard troops had taken up defensive positions everywhere on the street and began firing back at the Germans.

One of the krauts spotted Logan and Ravenna and fired on them. Quickly the two ducked behind their own car and unholstered their own guns.

"Jerry in England," Logan snorted "just peechy. And just when I thought I could relax."

"Theres not enough of them to invade," Ravenna said "why are they here?"

"They landed on Downing street, theres only one reason they're here they're going to try and kill Winston Churchill!" Exclaimed Logan "He lives here at 10 Downing Street."

"Then we must stop them," Ravenna said "even this late in the war, the death fo an allied nation's leader at the hands of the enemy could prove disasterous!"

"My thoughts exactly." Logan said

The lieutenant popped back up out of cover and began firing on the Germans pilling out of the newly landed aircraft with his Thompson sub-machine gun. Ravenna did the same with her pistol. The Germans quickly took cover around corners and beside cars. Both the Downing street English defenders and the newly arrived team of Logan and Ravenna had them boxed in. The Germans on the ground retreated into a nearby alley, while the ones ontop of the buildings began to fire down on the defenders.

"We gotta take those Jerries up top out." Logan said "Not to mention catch those other guys before they make it Churchill."

"I can handle the rooftops," Ravenna assured "but I need a rifle."

Logan signalled over to a nearby English soldier

"Hey mac!" He shouted "We need an Lee-Einfield over here!"

The soldier, without question tossed over his rifle to Logan and pulled his pistol out of its holster as a replacement. Logan passed the rifle ontop Ravenna.

"Its not made in Moscow but it should do the trick." Logan told her "Need helping figuring out how to fire it?"

Ravenna pulled back the bolt on the rifle, aimed at one of the Germans up top and fired off single round. The German fell from the roof and slammed into a parked car below. Ravenna just smirked at Logan.

"I shall manage." she said "Go after those facists already!"

Logan saluted and rushed off after the Germans on the ground alone while Ravenna gave the English and the Germans a first hand demonstration of her sniping skills.

--

Logan was led through the back alleys of Downing street, the Germans ahead of him by a mere few meters. He had to keep pace with them, lure them off from Downing street and led them into a place where they would be easy prey for any Allied soldiers that were coming to contain them. One of the Germans spotted Logan and fired back on him. As the American took cover around the corner, the other Germans jumped over the fence for a nearby building while their friend tried to take Logan out.

The liuetenant burst from the corner and sprayed the lone German with bullets, continuing his pursuit of the krauts he too hopped the fence watched as they entered the nearby building. What were they doing? This wasn't going to get them back to 10 Downing street any quicker. Logan followed them in, but he had to be careful. Hitler wouldn't have sent any ordinary soldiers to try and take out Churchill.

Once he entered the house Logan encountered fire from up above. A german was positioned on the banister. Logan fired a quick burst and the Kraut went down, falling back amd slamming into the wall. As Logan rushed up the stairs another German rushed from around the corner and grabbed him. The Jerry tried to wrench Logan's gun away, but he easy smacked the thompson into his head. The German relinquished his grip. Logan quickly grabbed him and threw him down the stairs, he smashed into the banister and more then likely broke his neck.

Logan kept rushing up, changing magazines as he went. He saw another German trying to get out the window and onto one of the metal barred pieces that covered it. The German saw him and went for his luger. Logan shot first and the German fell, impaling himself on the spiked fence below. Logan winced when he saw the sight but knew he still needed to find the other Germans. There was a reason he was trying to climb this metal piece. Og course, they were going for the roof. Logan lifted himself onto it and then clawed his way up to the roof. Taking cover behind a nearby brick chimmney he peered out and saw four Germans on the roof. He fired at them and quickly they all took cover where they could. Logan peered back out and fired two bursts at the one partially exposed German, hitting him in the arm. The German dropped his gun and Logan rushed out to the chimmney he was hiding behind. He slammed his foot in the German's face as he went for his weapon and the Jerry went flying off the roof, his helmet swirling in the air as he toppled off. The other German on the adjacent Chimmney tried to fire, but Logan shot first and killed him.

The last two Germans made a break for it, jumping for the next rooftop, one was lucky and made it... the other didn't and smashed into a window before he fell to the ground. The surviving German was now running across rooftops, trying to make it back to 10 Downing street. Logan looked down, eyeing the drop before him.

"Man," he sighed "all I wanted was one friggin R&R in London with a hot Russian chick. Why they'd have to ruin it?"

Logan walked back tot he otherside of the roof and ran towards the edge, he leapt, just barely landing on the opposing roof. The German was already a rooftop ahead of him, apparently managing this better then he was. Logan kept running after him, leaping from rooftop to rooftop, sometime having to claw his way back up when he hit a slippery shingle. He saw the German at last reach back to where Ravenna and the English were shooting back on the Germans on the roof. He could see the massive flying machine himself.

"Can't jump over a street Jerry." Logan said as he raced to the next rooftop.

The German did something else, leapt onto the flying machine and ran across its back to the cockpit. He made some sort of hand signal. What was going on? The vehicle suddenly lifted straight up into the air and got closer towards the next building over. More then likely it was number 10 Downing Street. Logan realised this and raced to the next rooftop, but missed this time.

Logan grabbed onto the the rain gutter instead, it began to buckle and break under his weight. He shimmed himself over to the nearby runoff drain and grabbed it with both hands. It snapped and he rode the thing down into the alley, smashing intot he alley.

"Not my day." He said picking himself up "So not my day."

--

Ravenna saw the whole thing. Aircraft hovered above her, the German holding onto the cockpit. He was going to make a jump onto the number 10 house. She kept her gun at the ready. The German suddenly leapt from the vehicle and into the air. Ravenna fired a shot, catching the man in the foot. He still landed on the roof but in a rather painful heap as she could hear his moans from all the way down on the street.

"I got him." She said "Wonder if he'll be able to jump with only half a foot."

The fight wasn't over yet though, not until she could identify the body. She'd let the air-corps deal with the now retreating aircraft, she had to get inside and stop German.

"Hope Mr. Churchill won't mind having me stop by." She and several other Downing street defenders rushed to number 10 and broke in through the front door.

--

The plan had faltered somewhat, but it was almsot complete. Despite his injury in the foot he managed to slip into the window of number ten downing street. He had his luger ready to make the final kill. But he had little time he could hear the Tommys downstairs clambering up to save their beloved prime minister.

He burst into the study and saw bowler hat peeking out from the big stuffed chair. It was him! He fired several rounds into the back of the chair, unloading an entire clip. When he knew he was empty he walked on slowly towards it and tapped the hat. But a body didn't fall... a stack of books did instead.

"You came all this way to shoot a stack of books with my hat on it?"

The German turned and he saw the very man he came to kill, pointing a pistol at him. His round waist, his bald head a cane in one hand and a stern disposition on his face. He showed no form of fear or anger... only a sense of determination and boldness that prevailed for him throughout the years.

"I knew Hitler was daft," Churchill said "but if that was your mission this all seems a bit of a waste to me."

The German didn't say anything, just dropped the gun and backed away, but he was prepared to try and finish what he started.

"You know from what Adolf kept yapping on about I expected you here five years ago in September." Churchill said, taking up his cane slightly to look at his watch "Oh well, better late then never. I had a special spot planned of where to properly meet you all when you strutted down here, but unfortunately you caught me at an inopportune time. I was having my mind afternoon tea. If Huns wish to kill me you could at least pick an apporiate time so as not to be rude."

He could hear the English rushign up the steps, it was now or never. He shouted 'For the Furher' in German and rushed at Churchill, pulling out his SS knife. The Prime Minister simply shot the man several times in the stomach. The German seemed to stop in mid run. Churchill simply took his cane up and pushed the man over. The Prime Mnister shook his head.

"Such a senseless waste of human life." He said

Ravenna and the English soldiers rushed up the stairs and saw the grisley scene of Churchill over the dead German body and shaking his head seemingly very dissapointed.

"Mr. Prime Minister Churchill," Ravenna announced "we're here to protect you."

Churchill looked over with a smile.

"What the bloody hell kept you all?" He asked "This man neary ruined my good hat."

Churchill walked over and took his hat back up from the pile of shot up books. The British soldiers went over to the German's body and began searching it for intel. Ravenna went to check on the Prime Minister.

"Sir are you injured?" she asked

"I told you my dear I'm fine." Churchill assured "Honestly its like everyone in the army thinks I can't take of myself or something."

"I have no doubt sir," Ravenna said "just making sure."

At this time Churchill noticed Ravenna's accent.

"You're Russian aren't you?" He asked "Ha, thats a laugh. A Communist actively defending my life, I just know Stalin is going to have a feild day with this one. Nevertheless gratitude is in order. Could I offer you some whiskey?"

"Sorry sir but I am on duty." she told him

"Understood." Churchill said "More for me then."

At this moment Logan finally lumbered up the stairs and spotted Ravenna talking with the Prime Minister.

"Sorry I'm late." He said "Those Germans had me running all around the place. I think the ones that are still alive have been rounded up. American and British troops are looking for stragglers."

"Ah good," Churchill said "means I can get back to my tea time then. And when I saw that I of course mean my whiskey. Care to join me Yank?"

Logan walked on over to the Prime Minister to take him up on his offer. He looked over briefly at the dead German.

"So uh, whose the stiff?" He asked

An English soldier pulled up some ID papers from his pocket.

"Says his name is Otto Skorzeny." The English Soldier told them "Hmm, ins't he that man who helped get Mussolini out of Italy?"

"Ah yes, Hitler's best commando eh?" Said Churchill "Well he won't be troubling us anymore then. To think all this trouble over little old me. Have I really pissed Hitler off that much?"

"You kinda screwed up his plans for world domination sir." Logan reminded him

"He's done a good enough screwing that up himself with all these ridiculous wonder weapons of his." Churchill said "I could hear the new plane of his for miles out, saw it hover right close to my window I did. Still, we should try salvaging what we can from the wreckage."

"Yeah who knows," Logan said "in a few years maybe we can make one that doesn't crash all the time."

--

AN: Otto Skorzeny was a real SS commando and he was a real card carrying Hitler lover too. For some reason a lot of Alternate history stories keep him alive at the end. I'm not sure why. If anyone from the German war effory deserved to live it was Rommel, but for some reason Skorzeny is deemed untouchable in alternate history stories. So... I killed him.

Besides, it gave me the chance to have Winston Churchill kill a Nazi! How friggin cool is that? The next coolest thing would be FDR in a wheelchair blasting into the Reichstag and shooting off bazooka at Hitler's podium while Eisenhower and Churchill bust in from above and start blasting up the place. I'd use Stalin, but he's an asshole in his own right... but most assuredly less evil then Hitler. At least he never tried to destroy all of Europes Jews in a mass government sponsered genocide! He just plopped all the dissadents in Gulags and mental hospitals.

Okay Tangeant, sorry, next chapter we'll be getting into WAY cooler flying machines then Wessey. Pancakes, mega-bombers, lots crazy aircraft from the allies. So till then, have fun folks.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20:

Flying Pancakes and other Planes that I couldn't make up if I tried

I've decided to lay off the German stuff because, frankly, Azula is creeping the frig out of me man. So lets get back to the Allies. After such failures as a flying tank and an iceberg Aircraft carrier, you'd think that the Allies didn't have a single awesome secret weapon in their arsenal that they could use. You'd be wrong, not every prototype airplane or vehicle the Allies had was total crap, in fact a lot of them worked pretty damn well. The problem was the war was pretty much over by the time production began. Unfortunately such awesome planes like an ancestor to the B-2 bomber, backwards frame built planes and a flying pastry stealth fighter never saw service. To honor these would be warriors Robin is here to present us with these planes, and hopefully GIR will not wreck them because they are incredibly expensive and are very dear to my my heart in terms of awesome WWII weapons.

Robin: Thats a tall order, you want me to make sure these planes don't get broken.

I can accept a scratch or something that can be buffed out. Maybe its better if you just lock him away in some cage or something. Please. This stuff is impossible to reproduce except with CGI.

Robin: Fine, but I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing for the purpose of preserving history.

Pft, man are you ever corny. I expect that crap out of Superman, but you? You're a bat spawn you should do better.

Robin: I'm not doing anymore "Holy 'Blank' Titans" jokes if thats what you're asking.

Party pooper, your fans love that crap, or at least the fans of the nice Robin from the sixties, before you became an angst ridden piece of-

Robin: Can we lay off the mutual animosity please and get back to the planes?

Ah yes, we should probably start with one of the more awesome ones. The Vought V-173 and XF5U, called the "Flying Pancake" and "Flying Flapjack" respectively.

GIR: PANCAKES!

(Robin tosses the robot out of the frame)

Robin: God that thing is so annoying.

The first was a prototype wooden airframe model to correctly callibrate the unique design, the second a full ranged fighter bomber. Why were they called the Pancake and Flapjack?

Robin: Could it be that they're incredibly flat airplanes with two propellors sticking out of them?

Yes, pretty much. The voughts were designed as all-wing aircraft, meaning they have no fuselage and very little drag. Pancake could fly at a maximum speed of 138 mph, the Flapjack was expected to fly at a speed of 475 mph. The disk shapped body on both of the aircraft served more then just the purpose of reducing drag though it also served as a kind of primative radar stealth system. While it more or less could've been spotted on radar as it wouldn't be able to bounce the images off of its self, its flat design would make it hard to spot by enemy planes. That is until in jumped at them of course.

Robin: Pancake and Flap jack huh? Wheres the sryup then?

I'll give you sryup bird brain. The Flapjack was armed with six .50 cal machine guns or four 20mm machineguns or two 1000 lb. bombs. More then enough basic fire power to blast other German prop planes out of the sky. Flapjack was able to fly even faster at lower altitudes, at 8,534 metres it could do 765 km/h. Meaning it could dive down and make a speedy getaway. Best of all, final designs gave it an ejector seat, so as to avoid those honking giant propellors that kept it afloat. Hows that for friggin sryup!?

Robin: If its so badass why didn't it ever get into the war?

Production delays, okay! Geez don't kill my flying hot rod buzz man. That and the Jet age was fast approaching, by the time it was ready the prop planes were being phased out and the sleeker jet planes had taken up the spot light. Flapjack and Pancake were cancelled before they could ever complete the project.

Robin: Harsh. So should I take the flapjack for a spin?

GIR: I wanna go too!

Robin: Um, sure GIR. Why don't you go into that box over there and I'll get things ready.

GIR: I likey boxes, almost as much as I like pancakes.

(GIR steps into box, Robin nails it shut, and throws it on a bus to Alaska.)

Robin: That oughta hold him. Now lets get flying.

Flapjack would've been the final product. If finished it would have been an effective recon or fighter/bomber aircraft. More over it was incredibly structurally sound. The last prototype had to be destroyed by a wrecking ball, so German bullets would have had a tough time with it.

(Robin flying Flapjack)

Robin: Its a solid airframe, and despite the couple of hops I had to do down the run way I'm flying. I can see why it would've been a good light bomber craft and good for recon. But I gotta tell you Rage, it just doesn't do it for me.

Its the closest thing to a flying saucer you could hope for! What more do you want?

Robin: I don't know, something that can leave a dent in a fortified enemy position.

Alright, alright, I see your point. Recon is fine for pinpointing what you want to hit, but for pure firepower you do need something a bit bigger. Say no more Robin, I got just what you need. It should even bring back some Bat-Wing memories of your youth.

Robin: Please. The Horten Ho 229 looked like a bat, thats all I'm giving you. But it still doesn't match the bat-wing. Have you see that thing? It hovers! Its got sixteen cup holders and a 200 CD disk changer! It rocks.

Well I don't know about that... but how about... a giant jet powered mega bomber!

Robin: Say what?

(A shadow dwarfs the Flapjack as Robin looks up to see a jet powered bomber flying over his head. Shaped like an older version of the B-2 Stealth Bomber. Or if you want to get technical, a giant boomerang.)

Robin: Whoa.

Thats right, whoa! Say hello to the Northrop YB-49! A jet powered bomber with a wingspan of 172 feet! Contrast that with America's biggest bomber of the time, the B-29, at 141 feet and 3 inches. That is one massive plane!

Robin: What compelled them to make this?

It sounded cool. What other reason is there? That and could carry more bombs, 32,000 lbs of death from above. Unfortunately the plane met several delays and eventually the war passed it by.

What doomed its service after the war was that its tremendous wingspan severly limited its mach speed, worse it couldn't carry any of those glorious megaton bombs the Air force was so into at the time. It was replaced by the less ambitious and much more reliable Convair B-36 strategic bomber, which would go on to become a popular icon of the early Cold War era. Meanwhile the YB-49 was relugated to the growing list of forgotten allied weapons and would only resurface in alternate history video games and books where it actually got to fight in the Second World War. So lucky for it, we're keeping that tradition alive by showcasing it here.

Robin: Who exactly is flying that thing?

(Blackfire waves from the cockpit of the YB-49)

Blackfire: Hi losers! Guess who got the big plane? Thats right, me! All hail me! I own you! All of you! Cower in fear!

Robin: What the... Rage is your wife piloting that thing?

Hey I can do whatever I want, I'm the narrator of this damn story. Besides, snookums wanted to blow up a city block or two. I couldn't say no.

Robin: Mindless destruction, should've guessed.

Its a turn on for me, much like repetitive training, catching crinimals and detective work is a turn on for you.

Robin: It is not!

So I suppose all those magazines of Bad Guys weekly under your bed is just for show? And the reason they're full of holes isn't because you've been firing off Robin-rangs into them while in the bathroom.

Robin: What? Thats ridiculous! How would you even know that?

Beast Boy's contract with me states, in the fine print, he must find info on you that I can use to either blackmail you with or embrass you with. Don't blame him, he didn't want to watch your weird form of mas-

Robin: Why do you pick on me like this?

Because its enjoyable, it makes sure you keep doing work for me and most of all its help to emasculate you in front of your girlfriend. Call it hobby.

Robin: Fine! Just talk about how the damn mega bomber could've been used in the war.

Why not? This bit is running long anyway.

So it couldn't use nukes, at least not the kind that were in operation at the time. You know like Fat Boy and Little Boy, those things were huge! Conventional bombs however could probably have fit inside. The bomber most likely would've been used to level Germany and Japan on a mass scale, like the B-29. Suffice to say, with jet powered bombers on their side the Allies could've delivered more daily doses of death for the unfortunate populus of the Axis.

This would probably be as good a time as any to remark on the tragically high loss of civilians in the closing months of the wars, both in Japan and Germany. The Allied strategic bombing plan proved effective in destroying key military and industrial target, but the inclusion of civilian targets was not only immoral, but ineffective in the long run. The only reason it worked in Japan was because they dropped a nuke on it, and such a method is now deemed too terrible to ever use again... well as long as the guy on the button isn't a crazy nut job.

Blackfire: Lucky for you Americans you voted that Black guy into office, so you're good. But for me, I get to blow up a city block! HA HA!

(Blackfire pushes a button and lets several tons of bombs drop onto a mock-up of a German city below. Explosions ensue.)

Blackfire: Look at all that strudel! Insane isn't it?

Wait, strudel? What did you bomb?

Blackfire: I think it was the bakery district.... my bad.

Great, now where am I going to get my German Black Forest Cake? Oh well, onto the next plane.

Now as you've noticed a lot of the Allied aircraft were built for the war but never got into service in time. Two of these planes were the de Havilland Vampire Jet fighter and the XF-85 Goblin! Pretty ghoulish names I'll admit, but they were pretty cool.

The Vampire was the second Jet fighter after the Gloster Meteor to fly in the RAF. It had a slightly different role as a fighter Bomber and had a revamped design. The jet engine was mounted inside the chassis instead of the wings, like modern jets today. Capable of reaching speeds up to 548 miles per hour is was a great improvement over the Meteor in terms of performance and could carrying up to 8 rockets or two 500 pound bombs.

For a visual idea of what it looks like, take the tail of a P-38 fighter and stick it onto the back of a more streamlined Gloster Meteor and you got yourself a Vampire. Or look it up on the internet, I mean, you're already on it right?

Robin: So the Axis had the Horten Ho that looked like a bat and the British had this thing that was aptly named a Vampire. So, why didn't it get into service?

It did, after the war. It was used by the British airforces up till 1955 when it was retired and used as a trainner for new pilots until 1966. It didn't see much combat or any real fighting at all, at least against other aircraft, but it did see combat during the Malaya insurgency of the late 1940's to early 1950's.

Robin: What was that?

Oh some British Commonwealth war involving Communists and Cold War politics, this is the internet folks, if you want to know more go and find out more. We're talking about WWII, not every single event in history.

Suffice to say, the Vampire wasn't a 'sucky' aircraft. Ha, I got vampire joke in after all! It like all secret weapons of the War just came late in development. Lucky for the Vampire its retired status doesn't mean its gone forever. There still plenty of working models out there in museums across the globe. Residing in hanger coffins, waiting for the day when they will rise up and bring upon the day of eternal night. But they say humanity will have a defender, a slayer who will protect mankind from these devilish airplanes...

Buffy: Thats where I come in, my name is Buffy and I fight evil. Its what I do.

I here thats how season eight would've started, just a rumor. But hey, say what you will about these airplanes being late to the party, at least they're more like vampires then the characters of a certain craptacular book that was recently made into a movie are.

Edward: I glow like diamonds!

(Head gets sliced off by a katana, camera pans to show Ravager, aka Rose Wilson)

Thank you Ravager.

Ravager: Everybody gets one.

(Ravager runs off)

I need to use her more. Well with three Vampire jokes in the bag I think we can move on now. Its designation as a fighter bomber would've meant the Vampire would be busy itself by shooting up convoys, bombing enemy positions on the road to Berlin, and keeping the skies clear of enemy planes and blasting large holes into enemy tanks on the ground. All in all, a solid and reliable aircraft.

Now onto the next Jet plane, the XF-85 Goblin!

(Robin looks at pintsized aircraft)

Robin: Why is it painted green?

Its a stupid Spider-Man reference, give me a break. Anyway this little airplane, which essentially looks like a chopped down version of a P-51, was what we call a parasite aircraft. That means it was launched from another aircraft, a bomber. This meant the plane would be loaded onto the mother aircraft, in this case a Convair B-36, before take off. In flight the plane would be released, it would power up its jet engines and it would escort the bombers to their destination. Its a sound idea, it cuts off on the need to create long range fighter escort planes as you can just carry your escort wherever you go. The problem is getting the Parasite plane to dock with the still flying mother aircraft after its job is done, not exactly easy as our good friend GIR will show.

GIR: Hey everybody!

Now in order to dock with anything in mid-air requires careful percision and even more careful handling. In-flight refueling used by many military planes today is still a dangerous procedure for this very reason, but the planes are both always moving. The plan here with the Goblin is to land another smaller jet craft onto a bigger jet craft by aiming the plane at a hook that will secure the mother plane, pull it up into the bombay and dock it. That means the Goblin will come to a full complete stop. Aircraft carrier landings at least have enouch space to land planes on them as well as sufficent room to slow down to aircraft before it falls into the ocean. These people were asking the pilots to slow the plane down enough to hook onto a very small very indiscriminate piece of machinery.

Too fast and you'd probably snap the hook off the plane.

GIR: WHEEEEEEE!

(GIR slams into the hook, ripping it straight out of the plane)

GIR: SORRY!

Too slow and you could stall. To low and you'll miss. Better then getting too high though.

GIR: Whats that hooky thing coming at me?

(Hook smashed into cockpit window and impales itself in GIR's head.)

GIR: Oh! Its a hook! Silly me.

Even expierenced pilots found this process incredibly difficult. Not only was docking hard though, the Goblin wasn't up to the task it was designed M2 browning machine guns we're good enough to take on the enemy plane it would have to face to protect the bombers, it was also slower then some of the other jet planes that were coming into service around the Late 1940's. The MiG fighters of the day, the MiG-15, could reach speeds over 668 mph, four more then the Goblin. It doesn't look like much, but the Air Force is very picky.

More importantly, advancements in jet technology meant planes could travel further and stay with the bombers longer. Parasite planes just weren't very cost-effective or nessecary when other alternatives were in use.

However, "The Flying Egg" as the Goblin was affectionately called, despite its obvious dangerous docking procedures, could've been useful if it had gotten into service a few years earler. It would've easily been a match for the best jet fighters of the day and while its armanent wasn't as heavy as other airplanes most Axis aircraft in the later stages of the war weren't as well armoured as the future MiGs would become. Piston aircraft would've been easy pickings. The Goblin just came too late to be of any use to the allies, better technologies had come along already.

Then again, maybe there was another reason the small aircraft never got into service.

Robin: It doesn't seem that bad to be honest. It fly decently enough, sure its puny and stunted but hey since when does size matter?

(Blackfire flys up to Goblin in YB-49)

Blackfire: Hey Robin, nice little plane ya got there! By the way I brought several bikini models up with me, I'd like you to meet them.

(Bikini models look out the cockpit window and all laugh at Robin's very small airplane)

Model 1: Its so small and tiny!

Model 2: I feel sorry for his girlfriend.

Model 3: Oh please like he has one!

Model 4: Look at it! Its barely visible!

Model 5: Compared to his, my boyfriend's is average size.

(Ladies all laugh and the Bomber flys off)

Robin: Ouch... my pride.

So we've had two jokes that involved Robin's lower regions which means we're pretty much done. As you can see the Allies had some pretty sweet aircraft, but a lot of them came too late for the big show and ended up getting cancelled or used in other services. If only they had been developed earlier they could've taken part in the greatest conflict in human history. Now, they're just footnotes of history.

So lets give these planes a shot at the big time shall we? Onto the story!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Korian Andelson had just gotten an upgrade, the SOE had saw fit to give her the controls of de Havilliand Vampire jet fighter. Needless to say she liked the new accomodations. The plane was sufficiently faster, manuvered better and was of course better armed then her Meteor. She had to admit though, her first mission in it seemed rather mundane. After taking out secret airfields the Germans were hiding their rocket planes, bomber escort didn't seem to make much sense.

They explained the reasoning, the Americans' new bomber the YB-49 had just entered combat service and was about to head out on its first actual mission. Said mission was going to be over Berlin itself, they were going to hit the industrial center of the city... hard. Specifically the target was amajor manufacuturing plant for Maus tanks, the fewer of those on the battlefield the better. Especially with what was coming up.

Korian had heard down the wire that the attack on Berlin was ready. The Russians and the Western Allies were going to share the honor of taking the city. Under the condition of course that the Russians army would be given the sole honor of taking the Reichstag. The Western Allies were simply tasked with helping the Russians get there. There were other conditions, but Korian wasn't told about them. Possibly because they refered to objectives and missions she didn't have clearance to be told of.

At least it wasn't that bad, she had Dick and Wally covering her back... although they weren't exactly in the Shooting Star jets they had been using for awhile. They were up in the belly of a B-29 bomber ready to be let out at the first sign of trouble.

"According to XF5U recon photos," she said over the radio "theres quite a number of anti-air defences around the factory."

"Those flying flapjacks may not be dogfighters but they certainly have given us a good view of the city." Radioed in Wally "Think they can help us drop a talldoy bomb on Uncle Addie's head?"

"I doubt it," Dick told him "that cowardly son of a bitch has probably already retreated to his that little hideaway he has in the Bavarian Alps."

"We'll worry about that scum later." Korian told them "Focus on the mission. How are those little planes of yours doing?"

"What the Goblins?" asked Dick "They're cramped, uncomfortable and I feel like I'm practically sitting on both its engine and fuel tank. Doesn't make me feel safe. I might as well strap myself to a bare jet engine and arm myself with a Browning Automatic."

"Oh its not that bad." Wally insisted "I mean at least we're still fast right?"

"Just get me back in one of those Shooting Stars as soon as this mission is over." Dick told him

"We're approaching the target." Korian said

Below they could see the industrial district and just barely make out the Maus Tank factory up ahead. Korian could also see at least four ME-262 fighters speeding towards them.

"Why aren't there more of them?" asked one of the YB-49's pilots

"The Luftwaffe is stretched to the limit." Explained Korian "We have thousands of bombers hitting this city daily, they can't defend against every single attack. They don't the pilots or the planes to do it. Their whole army is on the breaking point."

"Then this should be a cake walk." Dick said "Let us drop we can take these suckers."

Korian gave the go ahead and two Goblin mini-jet fighters dropped out of the bomb hatch of the B-29. They boosted up their engines and took off towards the ME-262s. Korian was right behind them.

Wally and Dick just seemed to slip past the German jets. The enemy pilotsonly saw grey blurs speed past their windows. Wally and Dick turned around directly behind the enemy jets.

"Our guns aren't that strong, aim for the engines under the wing." Dick told Wally "Its the only way we can make a dent."

Wally went in first, he lined up his target and fired on the left engine. After a few shots the enemy plane's wing exploded and the craft went tumbling to the earth.

Dick trailed his fire into the plane, using the tracers as his guide. They slammed one by one into the chassis of the ME-262. It tried to manuver away but Dick kept on his tail. Suddenly the enemy's engine exploded and the German jet spun out of control towards the ground.

Korian engaged the third enemy plane, head on. She fired a stream of machine gun bullets at the cockpit, a few moments later it suddenly burst into flames. The German jet still rocketed towards her slowly, but Korian pulled herslef out of it before the two planes collided head on. She came up under the belly of the final plane as it was making its approach to bombers. She riddled it full of holes and watched the entire jet explode above her. She slammed through the debris field, amazing coming out with relatively no damage.

The YB-49 continued its approach and then dropped its payload. Suddenly the factory below was engulfed in fire and smoke. A large pillar of flame burst from the center of the factory as one bomb dropped in and hit a powder keg of munitions. Needless to say mission accomplished.

Dick and Wally returned to the B-29 to dock. But it took them several tries to eventually latch back on. Korian would include that in her report about the Goblins, but she was rather favourable about the YB-49. Thanks to its speed they got this mission done faster then usual and the delivered payload sent the facotry crumbling to the ground. Those Maus Tanks wouldn't be bothering them anymore.

------------------------------------------------------

Victor's Tank Battalion was positioned a few miles outside of Berlin's outskirts. They were getting ready for the push into the very heart of the Nazi Reich. He could fell the end was closing in. The Germans were finished and they'd all soon be home.

Home, after what seemed like forever they would be going home. He just had to survive one more fight.

He could see a large number of bombers and fighter planes flying overhead. Probably returning from another bombing of Berlin. While he was happy they'd probably less Germans to deal with when they rolled in there, Victor was getting tired of the waiting. He wanted to end this now.

According to his superiors he'd be working with the Russians to help take Berlin. Imagine that, working with the Ruskies. He had heard a lot about the Russians from the newsreels, about Stalingrad, Kursk, their push up into the 'Fatherland' so to speak. Like Victor himself they had all come a long way. His orders were to push into West Berlin and link up a Russian Tank unit led by a guy called Captain Kovlar. From there the Russian would let him in on exactly what their big mission was. He was hoping it wouldn't have to involve another Ratte. Whatever the mission was, he was prepared for it.

Just one more fight, one more fight and he'd get to go home.

----------------------------------------------------

Logan and Ravenna we're already on their way to the Western Allied lines. Once the initial attack started they head off toward their mission objective and find out more about what Deathstroke was planning.

Ravenna looked out the window of the plane. She could see the smoking ruins of Berlin off in the distance. It was a sombering image of what was to come.

"This is where it ends." she said "All the suffering, all the destruction, it all ends there. As soon as we kill the monster thats lurking inside that crumbling city."

"Going to be one hell of a fight, thats for sure." Said Logan "They don't call it the Grande Finale for nothing you know."

Ravenna didn't say anything for a moment, but she eventually turned back to Logan.

"I don't understand, why don't they just give up?" She asked "Its over. They can't win."

"Your guys didn't give up at Stalingrad." Logan told her "Why should they give up Berlin for us?"

"Its different." Ravenna told him "If we had lost they would've erased us from the Earth. Hitler would've killed us all. We knew that, I knew that. Thats why we fought, to survive."

"Maybe for the Germans it seems like the same thing." Logan told her "Remember, they're being led by a mad man. I understand your point, your city wasn't a total loss. You always had chance despite the odds."

"They're surrounded, deminished, without any real army to actually fight us." Ravenna said "Yet that warmonger Hitler is going to make them fight in the hopes of saving his own neck isn't he?"

"More then likely." Logan replied "But if he wants a fight, we'll give it to him."

------------------------------------------------

Next: The Attack on Berlin Begins! See the Allies and Russians work together to bring about an end to Third Reich, but the Nazis aren't going down easy. Prepare for the most horrifying secret weapons ever devised when the Battle of Berlin kicks off.

This of course means Azula returns to torture our poor villian cast members. Sucks to be them.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: The Battle of Berlin!

Featuring:

Big Train Guns, Helicopter Packs, Land Subs and Night Vision!

Well folks its come to my attention that these beginning pieces about the backstory of the weapons showcased in the REAL story are getting long, detailed and not as entertaining. Apparently I fail at being a good history teacher. Well fine, you want more story? I'll give you more story! Twice the amount of story in fact! Originally all these weapons in the title would've had their own chapter, but since we're doing the Battle for Berlin, the grand finale of the actual war we might as well increase the standard chapter ten fold!

Of course to get to that point we have to do something else, we have to go back to good old Azula back at her Teen Titans Villians Concentration Work Camp! Meaning we'll get even more story about her torturing our favourite bad guys. So congratulations, you're contributing to the continued suffering of several cartoon characters! But on the plus side, you get to watch three hot chicks from the Fire Nation all the while! Complete with all the Lesbian undertones of Azula and Ty Lee's abusive relationship and Mai's passive-aggressive 'I don't give a shit' additude as she throws knives at people! If there was ever a chapter dedicated entirely to Fetish Fuel this would be it! Did I mention that while we were gone Azula's gotten a taste for leather? It has something to do with her fascination with Nazis, I don't know. Anyway, on with our story!

You know, the Nazis may have been evil, but man did they have some whacky ideas! Oh sure, none of its as messed up or as whacky as you'd see in Castle Wolfenstein, but they had some pretty far out and messed up ideas.

Consider for example, Hitler's fascination with really big guns. Which was more then likely him lashing out in an attempt to compensate in other areas, if you know what I mean. The biggest guns Hitler ever had created were the Schwerer Gustav and Dora, two huge 80 cm K (E) railway guns both with a barrel length of 32.48 meters! They both fired huge Armour piercing 3.6 meter shells that weighed 7.1 tons and Explosive shells that had an explosive mass of 700 kilograms! Seriously, why do you think they needed a railway track to transport the damn thing? They were friggin huge guns! But Hitler wanted something much bigger! A 1,500 ton, 42 meter long, 18 meters wide, 7 meters high monstrosity of an atillery platform to carry the same guns both Dora and Gustav used! Why? So it could take the damn gun anywhere it wanted thats why!

Allow us to explain, a railway system like that of Dora and Gustav can only travel on train tracks, making their range somewhat limited and their mobility rather constricted. Giving the guns a bigger tank like platform would've given it more mobility, well as much mobility as tank that weighs 1500 tons can give you.

This was the P. 1500 Monster, very apporiately named. And as you can see its in the same Landkruzer catergory as the Ratte Supertank was. Only this time its even more ridiculous. Which explains why Azula is so focused on getting it finished.

Azula: Alright you idiot lesser villians, listen up, you've continued to fail to live up to your work quotas. I suppose we could blame the author for taking so long to finish this damn story, but I don't care. The fact is I want this giant gun finished as soon as possible. No scratch that, I want it finished yesterday!

Control Freak: We made the tracks! Give us a break! This entire damn thing costs more steel then we actually have!

Azula: Oh thats bullshit, the Fire Nation smelted a giant drill the length of an aircraft carrier! We haven't even discovered lightbulbs yet and you're telling me you modern era supervillians don't have enough steel! What kind of stupid excuse is that!

Dr. Light: Slade makes all the damn oversized messed up weapons. Like them burrowing worms. We're just bank robbers here! We don't have that kind of no how!

Gizmo: Didn't you make a damn Northern Lights sucking platform in season five?

Dr. Light: That cost me an entire year's worth of scratch buddy. Plus there were transportation costs, its very hard to smuggle large metal pieces into the Arctic Circle, believe you me. I had to-

Azula: Shut up! Bunch of slackers, if I didn't need your man power I'd just kill you all right now and be done with it! Well, lucky me we do have at least one 'World Domination' motivated villian. Brother Blood!

(Brother Blood, nervously, comes to the front of the assembled villians)

Bro Blood: Uh, yeah.

Azula: I want you to get as much steel as possible to smelt us that giant gun and the chassis for this Monster atillery gun, and be quick about it!

Bro. Blood: Well I suppose we could always go to Steel City or something. I mean, I tried that and failed horribly, but it definetly would have enough steel. I mean, its the in the name and all.

Azula: And you didn't mention this sooner why?

Bro. Blood: Well uh, you didn't really ask. And I didn't want to end up like all those HIVE henchmen you burnt to a crisp because they spoke out of term and whatnot.

Azula: I need steel if this damn project is going to get off the ground! I want a huge f-ing gun to blow shit up already and you idiots are delaying it! On the other hand, thank you for letting me know where we can get materials. Anybody here know someone we can call to get our steel from?

(Suddenly Ding Dong Daddy shows up)

Triple D: Hey there Kitty Kat, I got the skids on Steel City! I got a hella lotta cool cats down east side who can whip us up a batch of grade-A nuts and bolts in an hour or two! We be kicking back on the motherload in no time dog!

(Azula looks on confused)

Azula: I'm sorry, I don't speak moron. Can you repeat that again before I decide to kill you for wasting my time.

Triple D: Easy there Daddio! Ding Dong Daddy isn't Crusin' for a Brusin from you! No need be a square about my jive Cusin!

Azula: (Creates a blue fireball) Urge to kill, rising.

Mammoth: Uh, I think he means he can get us some steel.

Azula: (Calms down) Whatever, just do it already.

Triple D: You got it swinger! I just gonna ring up my brothers for yas right now!

(Ding Dong Daddy heads off to the nearest phone)

Mad Mod: Oi, this stupid why don't we why don't we just steel the damn original big guns that the Jerries used and skip this whole thing?

That would be impossible, Gustav was cut up into bits by the US army, while Dora was destroyed by the Germans to keep it from being captured. All in all, the guns are no longer in service.

Mad Mod: Didn't the Jerries at least finish a part of this machine? You know, we cut down on costs and everything that way!

Gizmo: This coming from the cludgehead that made a secret base in the belly of a oil rig.

Mad Mod: Eh, the exterior was pretty much already done. I just hollowed out the insides.

Dr. Light: Which were filled with giant moving platforms and doors that led to upside down rooms.

Mad Mod: Oh shut up. I'm eccentric alright.

The P. 1500 was cancelled by Albert Speer. Who, like with the Ratte, knew they thing was just a big waste of money.

Private HIVE: Can we tell Azula that sir? You know so we can get out of doing this sir?

I'd advise against it.

(Triple D on the phone)

Triple D: Yo there daddio! Here's the story. I needs me some fine lookin steel, 1500 tons of it cool cat. Can you do it Big Daddy? (Pause) Boss! I knew yous was one Earthbound swinger. See you in a bit, we'll have blast, maybe even take down a few square nosebleeds too. See ya then. (Hangs up and heads back to Azula) Well Dolly its all set up, we'll be crusin' on them big old treads down the road in no time. We'll have the best drag on the road!

Actually, like the Ratte, the P. 1500 couldn't be transported over roads or bridges without breaking them. Another problem of being an oversized tank you see.

Azula: No one cares. As for you Ding Dong Daddy, you have done well. I appreciate you acquiring our much needed materials, your services will no longer be required.

Triple: Say what?

(Starts up lighting attack and fires it at Ding Dong Daddy, sending him flying out the window to his no doubt painful and agonizing death. All other villians look on in horror)

Azula: He was annoying, not to mention a minor and unpopular villain in your series. Does anyone have a problem with that?

(Villains all shake their heads)

Azula: Good, now until the steel arrives, EVERYONE GET BACK TO WORK!

(Villains disperse, Ty Lee comes up)

Ty Lee: Gee Azula, that was frightening, yet inspiring as well. You always know how to motivate people, thats why I admire you.

Azula: Brown nosing will get you everywhere Ty Lee. But don't overdo it. Say wheres Mai anyway?

Ty Lee: Oh she's writing on that strange electronic thing. They call it a computer I think. Something about a livejournal.

(Switch to Mai)

Mai: (Typing on keyboard) Azula just killed another one of these Titan villains. It's starting to get a little messed up beyond the point I find reasonable. I know she's unstable, but to be honest I'm starting to wonder if she needs psychological help. Yesterday I saw her screaming at that thing they call a toaster for burning her bread and then chucking it out window before blasting it with a fireball. I seriously wish I was back home right now, Zuko may have issues but at least he wouldn't kill me at the slightest provocation. As usual I am incredibly bored. (Stops typing) Can you believe I get six hundred hits a day on this site? Honestly who wastes their time reading this stuff?

(Switch to Azula)

Azula: Well as long as she's enjoying herself... and not saying things about me of course. Well then let's move on. Narrator, continue, I command it!

Finishing off the P. 1500 Monster, it's safe to say that while it would take a lot of fire power to blow up, it would definitely be targetable from the air. Let's be honest, if it was going to be effective against the Allies and remain safe from harm they'd need to build it its own bunker or somethings out in the middle of nowhere. The cost of this ridiculous weapon is just astronomical and only a megalomaniac like Hitler or a certain fire Princess would consider building it.

Anyway, onto our next weapon. Everybody knows about Nazis and Jetpacks, for some reason the idea of that is incredibly cool. However, like NASA and everyone else on the planet we've never really got close to an actual working comic book style jet pack. Why? Because strapping what is essentially a giant jet engine to your back is incredibly dangerous and hard to control. There are of course other supposed personal flight devices out there though. For example, Leonardo De Vinci drew up plans for what was essentially a flying machine. It looked like someone just strapped helicopter blades onto a pogo stick and there was no way that it could've flown without some kind of combustible engine powering those blades why?

Robin: I am not flying this thing.

Come on it will be fun.

Robin: No it won't, I already can guess this thing is going to hurt me. It probably won't even get off the ground.

Hmm, point taken. Ahem, Deus Ex Machina!

(Thunderclap, and suddenly Robin is in the air on said old fashioned De Vinci flying machine)

Robin: You son of a bitch. (Begins to fall)

Now Robin can try to use De Vinci's hand crank in the vain attempt to spin the blades fast enough to produce lift. However, the human body is only so powerful especially one as weak and flabby as Robin's.

Robin: Go to hell! (Continues to vainly crank the helicopter blades)

Now if De Vinci's machine could somehow spin those rotors automatically with some kind of engine maybe Robin would be able to survive this fall. But knowing Robin's luck he'll probably be saved by Starfire any moment now.

Robin: Shut up and clap in a damn modern version of this thing!

And ruin Starfire's chance to rescue you? I think not. She deserves some kind of payback after being so ritually thrashed around in the Tokyo movie, along with the rest of your co-stars.

Robin: Are you ever going to let that go?

No.

(Just as Robin reaches the ground Starfire shows up and saves Robin)

See, what did I tell ya? Now, before Starfire puts him back on the soil and attempts to kill me, let's return to what this whole spiel is about. Let's imagine something like De Vinci's little helicopter flying machine and modernize it a bit. Essentially we're going to remove every bit of a regular everyday helicopter except the blades, the rotor and the engine that spins the whole thing. Then we're going to strap that your back and turn the whole damn thing on so you can experience what that big bald Nazi thought in the last few moments of his life during the "Raiders of the Lost Ark" plane propeller scene. Only hopefully your head won't turn into brain-flavoured salsa.

Or you could just imagine the helicopter pack Gizmo uses in the Teen Titan's episode "Mother May-Eye."

Gizmo: Hey don't tell them that! It's bad enough I'm being forced to make tech for this Nicktoon Pasty-faced psycho bitch! If she touches my stuff, I'm gonna stick my screwdriver down her rectum and make her eat her own shit before... before... she's standing right behind me isn't she?

(Azula is smiling rather evilly behind Gizmo)

Azula: Oh goody, you are ahead of schedule on that. How nice, I hope you don't mind that I'm going to have to take it from you, unless you'd like to actually try that little stunt with your screwdriver.

Gizmo: Eh-heh, what I meant to say was... I'd be happy to give you my tech pack with all its glorious really cool weaponry. (Tosses tech pack on the ground in front of Azula) Here take it, I never liked it anyway.

Azula: Hmm, you know I'm still not satisfied. Mai, could you please take little baldy Mc Big Mouth here and teach him a lesson.

Mai: Do I have to?

Azula: Yes you have to, because all you've been doing this entire time is just sitting in your room sulking while I've been the one motivating these idiots to work.

Mai: Don't you mean, threatening?

Azula: Tomato, Tamata, who cares. Just throw knives at the little bastard already.

Mai: Whatever, it gives me something to do.

(Mai begins chasing Gizmo around the factory floor tossing knives and shurikens at the little bald villian)

Gizmo: Don't hurt me! I bruise easily! I'm a lot younger then you'd think!

Mai: Oh shut up and take your beating like a man already. (Throws six super sharp pointy sticks at Gizmo)

Gizmo: Mommy! (Ducks under continued onslaught)

Well he's dead. At least the little loser finally got a girl to chase him though. Where were we then? Oh yes.

The helicopter pack idea may sound cartoony, but the Nazis actually thought of producing it. It's called the Heliofly, which is essentially a helicopter back-pack. Mind you the idea wasn't to allow people to actually fly, it was more about giving humans increased speed and jumping distance. It was developed by an eccentric Austrian inventor named Paul Baumgartl who dreamed of the very idea of strapping on a helicopter and essentially flying to work. But then again, who doesn't right? Except this was before rockets became super popular, so now a days we all want a jetpack.

Paul developed his little idea out of a po-dunk little shop, creating some rather interesting designs. However helicopter technology was still in its infancy back then and he never really was able to work out the kinks. Modern day helicopters after all need a tail rotor just stay stable. The fact that this pack's landing gear is your own two feet, well, yeah landing was definitely not very safe. Unlike Gizmo's helicopter pack it can't hover and it can't go very high.

So lets list off a few things, this weapon is dangerous to the user, doesn't fulfill the fanboyish dreams of a helicopter pack and if used by the average soldier you'd probably be cut down within second when you started to land. That is of course if the landing didn't break your leg of course.

Finally, I don't understand why Azula needs this thing. I mean, she can essentially shoot fire out her arms and legs and use them like a personal jet pack! Well maybe jump pack, but she can still use them to go super duper fast! Why does she need this?

Azula: Hey, Gizmo's helicopter pack cuts down on costs, it's better than the original heliofly and it allows for every stupid non-bending schmuck in my army to rain fire down from the sky! Using guns of course because they're lowly non-benders. Besides who said I was hoping they would survive? I'm going to stuff explosives into their backpacks, so when they get close enough to my enemies they will explode taking a substantial amount of the good guys out with them!

Ty Lee: Wow, that sounds incredibly deceitful and mean Azula. Not to mention it kills our own people, why would you...

Azula: Did I ask your opinion? You just stand there and wiggle your boobs around already! It's all you're good for.

Ty Lee: (Verge of crying) Yes ma'am.

(Ty Lee wiggles her boobs, sobbing quietly to herself)

Azula: Now to mass produce my little helicopter packs. Magician!

(Mumbo Jumbo comes up)

Mumbo Jumbo: Uh, yeah.

Azula: Use your magical abilities to create more of these helicopter packs for my forces!

Mumbo Jumbo: Well I can't exactly just poof them into existence, my powers only turn cheap magic show tricks into deadly gags. I'm like an ineffectual version of the Joker.

Azula: Oh that's cute, then I guess you'll have to do it the hard way! (Stuffs helicopter pack into Mumbo Jumbo's arms) Use that wand of yours, levitate the parts required to make this thing into position and assemble them! Now before I slice your head open!

(Mumbo Jumbo runs off to do as Azula demands)

Dr. Light: Okay, why aren't you using your magical powers to kick her ass already? Come on man, get us out of here!

Mumbo Jumbo: You think I haven't tried? That little pink acrobat she carries around jumps up and smacks my wand hand whenever I start muttering a word! Don't get me started on the creepy moody chick, Azula says she'll cut out my vocal chords if I try again. Really, it's bad idea man, a bad idea.

Dr. Light: Well we gotta get out of here man! Look at Johnny Rancid! A few months ago he was in peek physical condition! Now he looks like crap!

(A skin and bones Johnny Rancid shuffles on screen carrying parts for the assembly line)

Johnny Rancid: Work will set you free, work will set you free.

Dr. Light: That's going to be us soon man! That's going to be us!

Mumbo Jumbo: How'd they do that him?

Dr. Light: It involved torture I'm not prepared to describe.

Mumbo Jumbo: Okay, such as?

(A few weeks earlier)

Azula: Johnny Rancid you've failed to meet your assigned tasks. That Maus tank doesn't have its turret on yet.

Johnny: Johnny Rancid works at his own pace lady! No one tells him how to put rides together!

Azula: Well your free spirit is lively and robust. That will have to change. Ty Lee!

(Ty Lee disables Rancid's appendages and Azula drags him over to a nearby door)

Azula: Behind this door Mr. Rancid is a fate worse than death. Here you'll spend endless hours being subjected to the worst form of torture known to the Fire Nation!

(Azula opens door to reveal Chong the Hippie Nomad and his little hippie group)

Chong: Hey there friend, we were just about to sing a song about flowers and love. It goes like this.

Love and flowers,

Flowers and love,

They're lovely and flowerly,

Flowerly and lovely,

Ignore their flowerly lovelyness

and you will miss out!

Thank you, thank you. Now here's one about fighting the man and living in harmony with nature. Lilly can even braid your hair later.

Rancid: AHHHHHHHHHH!

Azula: Enjoy!

(Rancid is thrown inside and the door is locked behind him)

Chong: Oh I hate the government,

Thats why I roam you see.

The government killed my Koi fish,

And broke my ukulele.

Rancid: LET ME OUT! (bangs on door)

(Back to normal time)

Mumbo Jumbo: Okay, I see your point, but how are we going to get out of here?

Dr. Light: I'm working on an escape plan. Don't worry, I've almost got all the kinks out. But we have to remain quiet about it.

Control Freak: Escape plan, I'm in. What do we do?

Dr. Light: Meet me here near the smelting machine I'll explain everything.

(Meanwhile back with Azula and Ty Lee)

Azula: (Consoling crying Ty Lee) Okay, I know you're not useless. You have other great qualities. I was just in a bad mood.

Ty Lee: I know Azula. You're my best friend. (Starts crying into Azula's chest)

Azula: (Pats her on the back) Sssh, sssh, it's okay. Everything will be alright.

(Billy Numerous and Private Hive look on)

Billy Numerous: You know, despite the fact Billy is a slave, there are perks to this job.

Private Hive: That's a big ten four good buddy.

Billy Numerous: You think they'll start making out soon?

(Azula sees them)

Azula: Hey, back to work slaves (Shoots a fireball at them, forcing them to run away)

Ty Lee: (Backing away from Azula) I'm glad we had this talk Azula

Azula: Yes me too, now go paralyze a few useless lackeys. You'll feel better in no time.

Ty Lee: Okie Dokie! (Cartwheels away)

Azula: Alright then, to the next weapon!

So it's time for an incredibly whacky weapon folks. This thing is so ridiculous that it's two thirds of a plot device from Three Stooges movie involving Martians! Said plot device was a flying amphibious submarine that when under the control of Martians tried to blow up Disneyland. Well there's no possible way you could make a submarine fly, however amphibious submarines that is at least plausible.

The Germans called it Project: Seeteufel. Originally what was suppose to be a German Mini-sub, became a sub with tank treads. Why? Well I guess it would make defending rivers a bit easier, but to be honest the entire concept is stupid. Its was even stupider in the Three Stooges film because they made a half assed attempt to make us think anything like a submarine could fly! Then again we're talking about the Three Stooges.

Only armed with two torpedoes or two landmines and a Machine Gun, its doubtful how much damage this thing could've done. Of course I'm sure it would've given the Allies a decent laugh before a ship or two began sinking.

Don't get us started on how land operations would've faired. Its chassis is a submarine, a mini-sub to be frank. The treads were so narrow it made manoeuvring rather pathetic. At its top land speed of 30 kilometres an hour, it's safe to say that if it ever came across a tank or any Allied soldier with an anti-tank weapon the sub's crew of two would be dead within seconds.

What's surprising is how it got to a developmental prototype stage before being scuttled by the Germans. They could've saved themselves the money and just dropped the idea altogether. Like I said, the Nazis made some pretty whacky stuff, I didn't say it was all good.

Which again begs the question, why the hell does Azula want one? I mean I know she's crazy, but stupid? No, I don't buy it.

Azula: Ha! Shows what you know. Anything can be of use to the Fire Nation, even a submarine that goes on land.

Let me guess, suicide vehicle right?

Azula: Why not? A few dozen of these could blow up a fortress wall or maybe even an enemy ship if they got close to one. Just pack some explosives into the torpedo tubes and BOOM! Instant fiery death for all those near.

Okay, I have to honestly ask this, what makes you think of your fellow Fire Nation brethren are actually going to go along with this?

Azula: We're a country of nationalistic imperialists with a military dictatorship, perverse code of honour and little regard for those we consider inferior. That and we apparently worship some fire god known as Agni. We're WWII's Japan with a side of Nazism! I'll just tell my subjects that if they kill themselves they'll be remembered as martyrs and go on to some paradise with... I don't know... virgins or something. I can probably tell them that when they die they'll receive a dozen Ty Lees in the afterlife. They'll believe anything, they're idiots.

You're really scraping the bottom of the Nazi weapons barrel now Azula. I'm just saying. That and you've probably just made some rather offensive remarks that are going to piss off a whole bunch of people.

Azula: I'm Princess Fucking Azula, they have a problem they can take it up with my fireballs and lightning bolts!

Okay, its official we need to get you some psychological help.

SCENE TRANSITION!

Well its two hours later and I've gotten Azula into a sit down session with a psychiatrist. I had very little money though, so I just dressed up in a beard and decided to be said psychiatrist. Worked for Sokka.

Now Azula, it's time to get to the source of your megalomania and well... your insanity. Tell me of your childhood.

Azula: I had a normal childhood. I spent summers on Ember Island with father and mother. Those were happy days. I remember how I'd run off, kick sand in people's faces, take buckets of water and wash away unsuspecting sand castles and entice other children to swim half way out to sea. And my father just laughed and laughed at the end of the day when I told him about it all. Good times, good times.

Hmm, so your father let you run amuck then.

Azula: I wouldn't call it running amuck. I was expressing myself, through the pain and torture of others. Of course, not many of the other girls wanted to play with me... except some of my parent's friends' daughters. Ty Lee and Mai, they've always been such good friends. Mai was always so willing to do anything I wanted, just as long as it was something. Ty Lee, I was always a role model for her. She looked up to me and I tried to teach her how to become a better person.

How exactly?

Azula: Why by giving her Indian burns of course. Also noogies. It's even better when you can actually set the skin on fire. Ty Lee always said she'd tell, but I made sure she told her parents that a torch fell on her by accident. I remember this one time we got this whip and-

Did it ever occur to you that abusing Ty Lee like this could be harmful to her? Or perhaps normal children don't do these kinds of things?

Azula: No, I was showing Ty Lee the hard facts of life. If she wanted respect she had to step over all others in her path to get it. That's at least how I saw it.

Hmm, I see. Well then tell me about your parents a bit, your father for example. What was he like?

Azula: Oh he was demanding and forceful. I always gave 100 percent. Until of course that wasn't good enough, I then started giving it 110 percent. He always wanted me to become a Firebending prodigy. I always had to be perfect, always. Father demanded perfection, obedience, loyalty to him before all others. You know, the normal things fathers ask of their children.

And your mother?

Azula: Yes, mother. She was always... disapproving, so distant, so... detached. She didn't like staying next to me. You know she was always like... like a porcelain doll or something. She was valuable... beautiful... but she didn't want to be around you... because she was afraid you'd kill her. She just stood, watching me, shaking her head, wondering what was wrong. Those dead sad eyes of hers... just boring into you. Pretty much you get to point where you want to grab her like any regular doll and shake her AND SHAKE HER AND SHAKE HER!

(Grabs pillow and starts pounding it to pulp before setting it on fire and tossing it the window where it slams into Mumbo Jumbo)

Mumbo Jumbo: My face! It's on fire! AHHHHHH!

Well... uh huh... hmmm. I think we're done for the day.

Azula: But we haven't even discussed my loathing of Turtle Ducks yet.

No, no, I think we're good. Let's just move on shall we?

(Control Freak walks over to smelting machine where Dr. Light is)

Dr. Light: Good you're here, stand on this stool.

(Control Freak does so)

Control Freak: Alright so what's the plan?

Dr. Light: This. (Light holds up a rope)

Control Freak: Ah, an escape rope. We can use it to tie off to the side of the building and...

Dr. Light: No it's not that, (ties ropes into noose and places it over pipe overhead) Suicide is the only way out of this. I'd have done it already but I can't go alone. Here's what you're gonna do, you're gonna stay here while I grab a knife from the moody chick as well as some booze and painkiller from the supply cabinet. Meanwhile you'll be hanging yourself from this pipe.

Control Freak: So what's the knife for?

Dr. Light: Figured I could just stab that guy Adonis in the back just once. I hate him, nothing personal. Well, see ya Control Freak.

(Dr. Light places noose over CF's head and kicks the stool out. Control Freak simply falls, taking the rusty pipe with him)

Control Freak: My chubby bod saves my life once more.

Dr. Light: Darn, looks like we'll both have to take the painkillers.

Control Freak: Look we can get out of here Doc, you just have to calm down.

Dr. Light: Calm down? I'm being tortured slowly to death by some Nicktoon chick with serious mental problems, do you really think I can take this anymore? We're slowly becoming an allegory for the Holocaust man!

Control Freak: Oh for the love of crap, don't go that way. We're barely even an allegory to the sweatshop labour in third world countries. Listen, this is bad. But if know anything the Titans will soon be here to put a stop to Azula and we'll be saved. Just be patient.

(Meanwhile back in the Titans area of the studio the Titans sit around and do nothing)

Cyborg: So should we be like, stopping that Azula person yet?

Robin: Nah, I don't feel like it.

Starfire: Who wants more brownies!

Titans: I DO!

(Back with Azula)

Azula: Ty Lee, Mai, how is the Amphibious Submarine production coming?

Mai: Okay I guess. We have like several now, I think seeing me chasing that bald kid around motivated the others to step up the pace.

Mammoth: I am not going to end up as a knife throwing target, no way!

Gizmo: This is bullcrap, (Gizmo picks pointy sticks out of butt) we're being pushed around by a girl! Its like having Jynx in charge of us again.

See-More: Where is she anyway?

Gizmo: Duh, she's a good guy now. Where do you think she is? Avoiding this back breaking labor!

See-More: Ah it ain't so bad, I mean sure we're slaves but at least she not killing us.

(Everyone looks over to pile of dead henchmen)

See-More: Well... she's not killing anyone who was an actual villian.

Mammoth: Hello, Ding Dong Daddy.

See-More: She's not killing us! You can't argue with me there.

Gizmo: Well not in a literal sense at least.

Azula: I don't pay you idiots to gossip! Back to work! Schnell!

Atlas: You don't pay us at all!

(Azula charges up a lightning bolt and fires it at Atlas sending him flying into the wall)

Azula: He can take it cause he's a robot. Anyone else wager they can?

(Villians feverishly return to work)

Azula: Excellent, now Ty Lee let's see one of these Seeteufels shall we?

(Ty Lee brings out a Seeteufel... painted pink)

Azula: Uh, Ty Lee, what did we discuss about the color?

Ty Lee: But Azula it's so eye catching! Besides, I drew a frowny face on the front

(Ty Lee points to said frowny face)

Azula: Be that as it may it's still pink.

Ty Lee: Well, Mai made hers all black. That's her favourite color after all

Azula: At least that makes sense somewhat. This is just silly. From now on let's not paint them pink.

Mai: Whatever, just as long as it's not orange.

(Meanwhile in Konoha Naruto suddenly stops in mid walk)

Naruto: Hmm, I have a sudden urge to punch something pale and moody... oh well Sasuke will do I guess.

(Back with Azula, Ty Lee rushes up to Mai)

Ty Lee: MAI! Why did you have to do something Azula likes!

Mai: You brought it up, I didn't even care. So what if she prefers black, whoop de fucking do. No one cares.

Ty Lee: Azula cares! That's what matters! Why do you embarrass me in front of her! (Starts to sob)

Mai: Ty Lee, get a hold of yourself. You're trying to win the approval of a psychopath! Don't you think that's just a little bit dangerous? Besides, Azula's never satisfied with anybody's work but her own. You know that.

Ty Lee: But she's MY psychopath.

(Mai just stares at Ty Lee with a perched eyebrow)

Ty Lee: In a completely platonic way of course.

Mai: Right... Ty Lee, I know you're not REALLY gay. But... you come close to sounding like it sometimes. Just so you know.

Next weapon, now we're finally connecting with something practical and reasonable. Night-vision! Well okay maybe not true night vision, but trust us, this is totally cool for once we swear!

Late in the war around February 1945, Germany passed out a some new support equipment c to help its soldiers see better in the dark, most of them in the Eastern Front where the Russians were pushing up. It was called the Zielgerat 1229, codenamed and more popularly known as the Vampir night vision scope. It was designed to fit on top of a Stermgewehr 44, one of the world's first Assault rifles.

It was a battery back pack that attached to a telescope one could put on the top of the rifle. The Battery itself was hooked up to a large funny looking searchlight ontop of the telescope, what was special about this light, however, was that it could help one see in infared.

Control Freak: COOL! Like the Predator! (Puts on Predator mask and makes rasping growl noises) Let's go hunt some Austrians!

No, not like the Predator.

Control Freak: But... but you said...

There are two types of infrared, the lower form we see in media now a days is what tracks human body heat. The Vampir couldn't see body heat, it detected Infrared light. It's invisible to the naked eyes, but when viewed through the special lenses of the telescope one can see the night illuminated. It still primitive by our standards, but back then it was a breakthrough. Of course considering Germany's position back when it was introduced it wasn't much of a tide turner. As powerful as the StG 44 automatic rifle was, by time the Russians were on Berlin's doorstep there weren't enough German bullets to keep them at bay.

(Johnny Rancid with a German helmet on and Vampir night Vision scope)

Johnny: Time to send the Ruskies back home crying!

(Looks through scope to see approaching Russians)

Johnny: Wow, that's uh... that's a lot of tanks and soldiers. Uh what's with that truck? Oh god... are those... they are! Rockets! RUN!

(Johnny rushes out of trench, Brother Blood watches on dressed as Nazi General)

Bro. Blood: Hey you can't run! That's desertion! Get back here and defend the Fatherland till your dying breath! You have an oath to Hitler and all that other bullcrap.

Johnny: Screw that Bohemian Corporal! I wanna live!

Bro. Blood: Fine screw you then, I'll defend this line myself (Takes up Vampir night vision scope) Hey what with all those plumes of smoke coming from the Russian lines?

(Katyusha Rockets slam into the ground near Bro. Blood and explode! Azula claps)

Azula: Excellent, excellent, that was most entertaining, what do you think Ty Lee?

Ty Lee: I suppose it was great, but there was nothing pink or fluffy in it.

Azula: (Sighs heavily) Ty Lee, you never pay attention do you? Look, cute and fluffy is boring. Pain and destruction gives one a natural high that not even opium or marijuana can induce. Let me show you, come to my room.

Ty Lee: Oh boy! Azula is going to teach me things! I hope she won't use the whip again.

(Later...)

Azula: Now you see the rack is a great instrument of torture, if you're lucky enough you can dislocate body parts and cripple someone for life. Like this poor sod.

(Billy Numerous strapped to a Rack)

Billy: Heh, heh, Billy figured you were into this kinky German sex stuff. So, uh... when do you tear off my clothes?

Azula: Shut up.

Billy: Okay, okay... hey aren't I suppose to wear a gimp mask?

Azula: See this is when you turn the rack Ty Lee. You have to pull it tight, like so!

(Azula cranks the rack, Billy gets stretched out and screeches)

Billy: OW! Wow, that did feel good. So when does the whole silk strap beating begin again?

Azula: See that wasn't tight enough, if they don't feel enough pain in the first pull thats bad. First impressions are a must, but you can make up for it like so!

(Rack pulls tighter)

Billy: YEOW! Jesus, that stings, okay can we get to the next part I think I'm secure enough.

Azula: Now that they're beginning to sweat we pump up the anty! You getting this Ty Lee?

Ty Lee: Yes Azula, but did we really need to use one of the villain workers for this?

Azula: Yes, we did, he was pissing me off. Speaking of which we're not done!

(Azula begins cranking the rack faster)

Billy: Okay, Billy wants off now! Billy isn't having fun! SAFEWORD! SAFEWORD! AAAHHH! WHAT'S THE GOD DAMN SAFEWORD!

(Later..)

Azula: And that was essentially what I did today.

Mai: Azula, we know, we were there.

Azula: I'm aware, I'm just reminding you all of how bad ass I am. Now let us enjoy our delicious dinner banquet.

(Table is full of high class gourmet food)

Azula: Ladies, to evil.

Ty Lee: Wow this looks great. What are the workers eating?

Azula: Huh?

Mai: You know, the villains we enslaved. You are feeding them right?

Azula: What? And waste all this perfectly good food? I think not. Don't worry there's a dumpster down there somewhere, I'm sure they're okay.

(Downstairs...)

Control Freak: Whats in there guys?

Gizmo: We got Banana peels and some yogurt tops.

Mammoth: Theres still some crumbs left in this bag of chips!

(See-More tries to grab bag from Mammoth and they fight over it)

Control Freak: Knock it off, we're not gonna survive by killing each other.

(Billy Numerous is wheeled in by Private Hive, arms are in slings.)

Billy: Billy's arms burn... worst S&M experience ever.

Mumbo Jumbo: For the last time idiot, it wasn't a damn S&M experience! You were being tortured!

Billy: Sure did feel like it.

Mumbo Jumbo: God you're stupid.

Dr. Light: Remember guys, we still have the suicide option.

Control Freak: I did not live half my life wasting away reading comic books and watching TV to be killed by a Nicktoon Villainess and her psycho friends! I'm not going out that way! I'm gonna march right up there, right now and kick her ass so hard she'll be sent flying back to the warped dimension she crawled out of.

Gizmo: Hey genius, remember Ding Dong! There's no way in hell we can take that bitch on! She's flippin crazy and she shoots lighting out her fingers! Forget it man! Just forget it! We're gonna die, accept it and deal with it.

Control Freak: Alright, fine you have a point. Azula is a far better villain then all of us put together. Especially since most of us were just villains of the week.

Atlas: Hey I got another episode... didn't I?

Control Freak: No, you didn't. I got three episodes, you got one. And might I add it was a pretty weak showing. Seriously, robots who think they're better than humans, big flipping whoop. Seen it, done it, no one cares.

Atlas: Oh and your nerdish episodes were so much better.

Control Freak: They were fan homages... plus they were funny. Look we all may not be the greatest bad guys, and we may get beaten six ways to Sunday whereas Azula kicks everyone's asses without much trouble. But as any big fat nerd will tell you, every good villain has a weakness, a weakness that ties into their character traits, what makes them who they are, what-

Gizmo: Get to the point.

Control Freak: Gentlemen, our only hope is to find Azula's weakness and exploit it before we're all in a mass grave. I know just how to do it!

(Holds aloft a DVD box set)

See-More: A movie, you're kidding right?

Control Freak: This is the complete box set to Avatar the Last Airbender Season 3. It contains every episode of the final season, including the four part finale!

Gizmo: Four part! We only got a two part finale with a shitty epilogue episode! What the-

Control Freak: Stow it, in this DVD is the secret to Azula's downfall, I'm sure of it. We just need to watch all the episodes and discover what her weakness is!

Mammoth: How'd you get that anyway?

Deus Ex Machina people! Who is the narrator here! Me! I'm in command here! I have the keys to the kingdom! Me! I! I AM THE GOD! I AM THE GOD!

Control Freak: Right, whatever. Come on guys we got a marathon of cartoons to watch!

So it looks like our little Villains have a plan. I'd tell Azula... but that wouldn't be fair. So then with this half of the story wrapped up its time for the second half. And yes... its gonna be a long... long chapter. See, less than a few paragraphs on each weapons, most of this chapter is story and now the rest of it is going to be one really big story about the fall of Berlin... or at least part of it.

Enjoy the explosions!

April 20th, 1945, the outskirts of Berlin

The trains stopped near the assembly era, each car carrying dozens of new soldiers to join the battle. Commander Kovar watched as they piled out and took positions for the charge into the corrupt heart of the Fascist Reich.

Kovar had come a long way, they all had. From the ruins of Stalingrad they had cut a path striaght through the countryside to the heart of Germany. They had lost many men, but it was all worth. Today was the day they had all been hoping for, revenge.

How fitting it was that the offensive would start on a day of celebration for the architect of Russia's misery. Hitler's birthday present this day would be to watch as his precious thousand year Reich crumbles before his eyes.

The Allies would inevitably be helping them of course, they would be closing off Berlin from their own side of the battle. But Kovar was assured that Russia would be left the Reichstag... and that he would have the honour of taking part in a very important mission for the Soviet Union. He moved his OT-34 tank into position with his comrades, they'd burn a path into the city for their comrades and meet up with an American to help them in their mission. A one, Victor Stone, an African-American he was told. He didn't think America allowed people of color into their army? This war was full of surprises.

"On the Fuehrer's birthday," shouted the kommissar "a barrage of Katyusha rockets will tear his wretched capital to pieces! The Allies attack from the west, smash the German resistance, and push them towards us! Our tanks will tear down their monuments, their homes, everything! With bullets, with your bayonets, with your BARE hands! Do the same to their wretched soldiers! No mercy for the fascists! No mercy for anyone of German blood! Today, we have our vengeance! For the Motherland! ATTACK!"

The battle cry went up amongst the Russian lines. The battle had been joined.

Thousands of Russian soldiers poured straight into the fray, gun fire and rockets could be heard all around. Commander Kovar didn't seem to notice. He surveyed the carnage, his head in plain sight for all to see. He could spot a building across the way, along with the outlines of German infantry men.

"That building is keeping our comrades from advancing." he said "Move up, let us burn the rats out of their hole."

Kovar ducked down into the tank, joining his men. The OT-34 approached the building, the Germans wasted their bullets in vain trying to shoot through its armour. One of the Germans tried to desperately ready his X-7 launcher ready in time to fire... but it was already too late.

Kovar ordered the crew to let loose its flamethrower. The flames spewed out from the tank's nozzle and engulfed the building. The Germans inside screamed in pain, falling out of windows and onto the cold hard ground below. Russian soldiers cheer with glee as they rushed over to the dying Germans, firing off rounds from their guns as the Fascists rolled in agony. Kovar merely laughed.

"Observe the so called Master Race comrades." he said "To think they thought they could bring the Motherland to its knees."

Suddenly there was an explosion that shook the insides of the tank.

"Are we hit?" asked the driver

Kovar looked around, he saw no damage, no fires. The rocket must've missed them.

"No we're okay." Kovar said "I'll take a look up top."

Taking out his pistol, Kovar opened the hatch of the tank. He saw a small crater next to them where the rocket had hit. From the look of things it had come from the very roof of the building they had just burned. Perhaps one of the rats had escaped up there. Suddenly, what sounded like an engine was heard overhead, Kovar looked up to see what was probably the weirdest sight he had ever seen. It was a German soldier... in mid-air... flying with some kind of backpack.

He heard of these soldiers, suicidal flying infantry they called Gyro-troopers. They had been used in small groups back in Stalingrad to leap from building top to building top. The Germans were hoping to out flank them that way. They didn't count on Russian snipers taking them out.

Now one was flying downwards, towards him. He had tossed away what looked like Panzershreck and now pulled out his MP-40. The German landed ontop of the tank, before Kovar could possibly hope to shoot him out of the sky. The flying man hit Kovar in the face with his gun, and then tried to shoot him with it. Kovar grabbed the gun and two men began to struggle. While he was lower then the German from his position, Kovar was not as top heavy as his enemy was. He forced the MP-40 back into the German's gut. The man could not keep his balance with the heavy rotor blades sticking out his back and tumbled onto the front of the tank. Kovar called down to his men.

"Shoot the flamethrower!"

His men obliged and let loose a stream of fire. The German was engulfed and rolled himself off the front of the tank screaming. Kovar merely grunted, he had won the fight... but he felt as if the German hadn't suffered enough.

"Forward!" he ordered

The Tank moved ahead. The German, still screaming and rolling on the ground trying to put out the flames, could only watch as it came closer to him. The tank treads silenced his screams.

"Keep an eye out for more of those flying Germans." Kovar warned "They could be anywhere."

The tank pressed forward through the city streets. The Germans were retreating into the buildings for cover. The fools, they had only made Kovar's job easier. Another blast from the flamethrower set the building up in flames. Kovar repeated the action all the way down the street, burning the German vermin out of their holes.

A blast rocked the ground ahead of him. He peered through the visor to see a Maus tank guarding the corner of the street. It had already pinned down a squad of Russians with its machine gun fire and now it was looking to kill them. Kovar ordered the tank into an alley way, just before a shell slammed into the street where they were.

"We can't kill that thing head on," Kovar told his men "drive through this alleyway and come up behind it."

The tank began its journey through the alley way, Kovar went up top to man the machine gun in case they were attacked from above. Once more he saw those flying Germans bounding from roof to the next over him. They were tossing grenades down on the tank. Kovar ducked back into the tank as the grenades bounced off and exploded around them.

Kovar popped out once more, he heard the rotors of the flying Germans start up again, readying for another run. Kovar aimed his machine gun and watched as the flying Germans appeared again. In their hands this time were Panzerfausts, good for only one shot but that would probably be all they needed. Kovar shot at the Fascists. They fell from the sky, slamming into the very buildings they were leaping to. Some of them slammed into their squad mates, their blades still rotating as they hit their fellow soldier's flesh. Instead of panzerfausts blood rained down on Kovar. One of the rocket launchers dropped on top of the tank. Kovar grabbed it before it fell off.

"Could be useful." he thought aloud

They exited the alleyway and now were directly behind the Maus tank. Kovar fired the Panzerfaust's one shot at the tank, in unison with his own tank's cannon. The blast smashed into the back armour of the Maus tank and ripped apart one of its treads. The Maus tank's turret now tried to turn to face the new threat, but it was futile. Another shot slammed into its back and the Maus tank went up in a pillar of smoke and fire.

"Hitler's wasteful spending on these monstrosities will be his downfall." Kovar said

"Sir," shouted Kovar's radio operator "orders from command! There is some kind of... giant artillery gun halting our troop's advance! It is situated five blocks away from our position."

Kovar took up his binoculars and peered at the horizon. Through all the smoke and rubble he could see a large gun rising up into the sky firing shells at the Russian lines. He could see the results as large explosions slammed into the buildings amongst the Russian lines.

"We must destroy that weapon," Kovar said "if we do not the advance will slow!"

"Allied planes are preparing to bomb the gun itself, but they are facing heavy anti-air fire from around the gun's position." explained the radio operator "We need to take them out."

"Where is this Anti-Fire coming from then?" Asked Kovar "We will see it falls silent."

"A set of fortified German buildings near the guns," the operator told him "if we take them out we can open up a path for the Allied bombers."

"It shall be done." Kovar boldly stated "And since we speak of them, what about our Allied friends in the west?"

"They begin their crossing of the Elbe river as we speak sir."

Meanwhile at the Elbe River...

Victor's tank squad advanced on the river crossing, the make shift bridge that would take them across the Elbe and into Berlin was almost complete.

Vic could see the plumes of smoke rising up from the city itself. The Russians must've started their attack already. Other Allied forces were pushing up south the city right now, within a few hours Berlin would be encircled.

That is if things went according to plan. That was something Vic knew was very rare, especially in this war.

As the bridge crossing began Vic spotted something heading towards the river... in fact it was several somethings. Vic peered through his binoculars... and he could hardly believe his eyes.

Subs, submarines were headed towards the river. Vic had seen a lot of weird German tech in the past few weeks... but this took the cake. Submarines that could drive on land. Victor couldn't help but laugh aloud.

Everyone else apparently saw the tanks too, as they were soon laughing at the sight as well. At least he knew he wasn't crazy.

Whatever the case, the German subs were headed towards the river, apparently they were planning on destroying the makeshift bridges and halting their advance. Despite the absurdity of the situation, Vic simply shrugged and got his men back under control.

"Alright boys," he said trying to contain his laughter "enough laughing at the stupid Jerries. Put them out of their misery already before they wreck our offensive."

The Shermans rolled towards the river bank and began firing on the subs. It was a turkey shoot, the land subs simply exploded with one shot. A few made it to the river, but even then it didn't do them any good. Infantrymen with bazookas simply fired into the water, the explosions damaged the craft and forced them to surface. In the end the entire force of land subs were either destroyed or disabled on land. The still living Germans among the subs surrendered and the offensive continued on unabated.

It did, however, give Victor an extra bit of confidence. If this was the best the Germans could do in the opening salvo perhaps encircling and taking this city would be easier then he thought.

Meanwhile in East Berlin...

Kovar's tank pushed forward through the German lines, accompanied by other loyal Russian soldiers and tanks. They were beginning their attack on the fortified German buildings, known as flak towers. Destroying these would ensure the Allied bombers a clear path towards that giant gun firing on them.

Kovar could still see the beast, blasting away at the Russian lines. It was so far the biggest obstacle in their way right now, destroying it would ensure the day's victory.

Then he spotted the Flak towers, their tracer fire looming in the distance. Kovar looked up to see several smaller planes overhead. Apparently the Allies were trying to destroy the forts before them.

"Sorry my flying friends," he chuckled "these Fascists are ours! Men burn the flak towers, show no mercy!"

The Russians rushed the flak towers, its defenders desperately fired back. Kovar could see more of the flying Germans leaping across the battlefield and onto the forts roofs in attempts to outmanoeuvre the Russians.

One flying German managed to leap to the top of a small building, but another tank's cannon ripped the top of the structure apart, sending it crumbling to earth. The German tried to fly off... but as he did he was shot at by Russians from the ground. He collapsed into the pile of rubble below.

The Russian tanks now pounded the German flak towers with all they had, but soon they faced another threat, crashing through several buildings, with little regard for anything in its path German, Russian or otherwise, came another one of Hitler's monstrous machines. A Ratte tank, it was firing its guns randomly in every direction its huge turret could swing. It wasn't apparently intending to hit anything as long as it hit something.

"That Ratte's driver is mad!" Kovar said "He'll kill us all, even his own countrymen!"

Indeed, the Ratte did kill his own countrymen. Several of the German tanks defending the flak towers found themselves crushed by the Ratte in its frenzy. One of the attacking Russian tanks tried firing on it, but the shells simply bounced off its armour. The Ratte fired back, but at such a close range the bombardment from their massive guns did more harm than good. While the attacking Russian tank was destroyed, the blast also killed many Germans situated nearby and even took out a huge portion of the flak tower.

"We must take him out before we all die!" Kovar shouted, he looked down at his radio operator "Call in a Katyusha rocket strike on that thing's coordinates!"

The radio operator did so. As the Ratte prepared to fire again, another volley the rockets sailed in, slamming into its side and ripping its armour apart, but it was still alive.

Luckily, for Kovar and the Russians, the Allied planes overhead decided to enter the fray. They began dropping their bombs and firing their rockets at the machine, slowly tearing the landkruzer vehicle apart.

"Follow up on our western Comrades attack!" Kovar shouted "We've wounded the monster! We must finish it!"

Kovar had their Tank get up closer to it. Now they were too close to be hurt by the giant gun. The other Russian tanks joined in on the assault. They began firing at its treads and turret, hoping to destroy the beast quickly. The Ratte began driving forward, intent on crushing the Russians under its treads. Eventually the engine was taken out by another volley of Katyusha rockets and the Ratte stopped dead. Another well placed bomb from an Allied Aircraft blew apart the heavy gun of the Ratte and the entire vehicle was now in flames.

Kovar breathed a sigh of relief, that was pretty close. The Russians resumed their assault on the flak towers... but by now it was merely a clean up job. The Ratte's frenzied attempt to defend them only forced the Germans to abandon the fortified structures. The Russians now only had to ensure the guns on the building would never be used again.

The Skies above Berlin...

"That was insane," Dick said in awe as he flew over what was left of the flak towers and the Ratte "that giant tank just came out of nowhere! Why did it do that?"

"Suicidal soldiers I guess." shrugged Wally "Still at least it had a nice explosion."

"Knock it off you two," Korian ordered "we need to get to that artllery cannon, the faster its destroyed the easier it will be for the Russians to advance."

"Alright," Dick assured "no problem Korian. Where are the heavy bombers?"

"A few minutes out, right now we need to keep the skies clear of any possible German aircraft. Lets head on over to the cannon and see if we can take out any additional anti-aircraft guns."

Dick and Wally took point in the formation with their Shooting Star Jet planes, Korian took up the rear in the de Havillan Vampire. Passing through the smoke rising up from the city they looked down to see the giant artillery piece.

Giant was an understatement, this thing was a monster. It dwarfed all the buildings around it! It was even bigger than the Ratte was.

"Look at that thing!" shouted Wally in amazement "How the hell did they get that thing here?"

Korian looked off to the side of her plane, she spotted a long trail of tread marks, crushed roads and bulldozed buildings. It stretched practically for miles.

"The bastards drove through their own buildings just to get into position." Korian said "They really have gone mad."

"Desperate, mad, whatever," Dick chimed in "we have to take this thing out now."

Wally searched around near the the Monster of a cannon. He didn't see much, but he find what looked to be a stash of artillery shells nearby.

"Guys, look!" he said "Near the left rear tread of that thing, it's the ammo dump."

"Those shells are so big they have nowhere to put them," Korian observed "not if they want to keep up the fire."

"This makes our job easier." Dick added in with a smirk "Do we still got rockets left? I only got guns."

"I got two," Wally replied "Korian?"

"Three," she replied "if we aim carefully we can set them off and stop the gun from firing."

"Worth a shot." Dick said "Lets strafe these bastards."

Dick augured the Plane down, Wally and Korian followed. The Germans on the gorund desperately fired up at the planes, but their rifles and MP-40s were useless against the speed of the jets. Dick fired his guns into the pile of shells and Wally and Korian launched their remaining rockets. They pulled up as the rockets hit home. As they did their planes began to shake wildly. Wally looked back to see a huge explosion rock the side of the Artillery gun. Who knows how many Germans had been killed in the blast. The gun stopped firing at last, but it still stood. Not for long though.

American B-17 flying fortresses soon flew out of the smoke. They dropped their payload on top of the gun. It took a lot of bombs... but eventually the cannon toppled over and the chassis of the machine exploded.

"Good show everyone." Korian said "I think we can leave this city in the Russians capable hands. Let's get our bomber friends back to base. We need more rockets anyway."

"Yeah, I have a feeling this battle isn't over yet." Dick replied "We're gonna need all the firepower we can get."

Back on the Ground...

Kovar watched the explosions, the entire cannon fell like a mighty oak cut giving under the lumberjack's axe. It was a glorious sight. Now nothing stood in their path.

"Onward comrades!" Kovar shouted "Our victory is assured!"

The Russians pressed on up the street, further into Berlin. Germans began retreating in droves from their position, even the flying ones. The Russians shot them in the back as they ran and out of the sky as the leaped from roof top to roof top.

A commissar rushed up to a Russian armoured car. It was outfitted with a speaker system. As it drove on with the advancing troops, the Commissar gave its operator an order.

"Spread the word comrades!" he shouted proudly "Let the German people know what their great leader has brought upon them! Let them hear our warning!"

The car began shouting its proclamation in both German and Russian for all to hear.

"Citizens of Berlin! A ring of steel surrounds your wretched city!" announced the car "The Allies to the west close the gap with each passing moment and our own troops will soon seal off all escape! There is no victory for you here! Only death! We shall crush all who oppose the will of the Red Army! We will have vengeance!"

The Russian soldiers cheered at the declarations. They continued slaughtering the retreating Germans as they did.

"The crimes of your leaders shall be repaid in full!" declared the speakers "Abandon your posts! Abandon your homes! Abandon all hope!"

Later that night...

The offensive had gotten off to a good start on its first day, better then anyone could hope. In a few short hours, the combined strength of the Western and Russian armies had encircled Berlin. If any Nazis wanted to flee the city it was too late. German forces were surrendering in droves to the advancing Allies, who were by now pressing forward to meet the Russians. By the time the sun set on the 20th of April, Berlin was effectively surrounded.

But the fight didn't stop when the sun went down.

Ravenna and Logan had already been inserted into the city, a small squad of Americans would be escorting them. Their orders were as followed, head to the SS HQ in Berlin, find Deathstroke's documents about Operation Final Vengeance. There they'd find out what Deathstroke was planning and hopefully be able to stop it.

The city was by now in ruins. It had been bombarded so heavily it was barely even recognizable as a city.

"I remember old newsreels of what this place looked like." Logan said softly "Now that I'm here it doesn't look as good though."

"Quiet," Ravenna told him "you'll give us all away."

They suddenly heard music coming from down the end of the street corner. It was a German Military march, from what Ravenna knew it sounded like the song "Last Crusade". The squad quickly ducked into an alley. They watched as a German armoured car drove past them.

"Idiot," Ravenna whispered as it passed "the driver is only going to get himself kill by my people or yours."

"I thinking he's hoping to find mine." Logan elaborated "I don't wanna be him if the Russians find him."

"You wouldn't." Ravenna assured "Come on."

As Ravenna got up to go, a shot rang out. One of the American soldiers among them went down, clutching his leg. His friends pulled him back into the alley way.

"Sniper." Ravenna stated pulling out her rifle and cocking it "From the looks of he's on the otherside of the street."

Ravenna took the downed American's helmet as the medic treated his wounds. She propped the helmet on her rifle's barrel and pulled out a mirror. She manoeuvred it to reflect the other side of the street, then she let the helmet slowly peer out of the corner of the alleyway.

Two seconds later another shot fired and the helmet spun off the barrel.

"I know where he is." Ravenna told the others "Wait here."

She left the Americans and went around to the back of the building they hiding behind. Entering through the backdoor she scrambled up to the second floor. She propped herself up against the window and looked out at the building she had spotted the German in. She peered through the scope, looking for any sign of movement, a speck of moonlight shining off the Fascist's scope.

She spotted it, for a brief second she saw a flash of light. She fired.

Ravenna returned shortly, she found the others staring out freely at the building across from them.

"I think you got him." Logan told her

"I know got him." she replied "Now come on, we need to check on the body."

"Why?" Logan asked

"I wanna know how he saw us." Ravenna answered

They looked down at the dead German, Ravenna had got him right through the heart. His gun was sprawled out next to him. It was a StG 44... but different. This one had a weird large contraption attached to its scope.

Ravenna looked through the scope... and saw entire room lit up.

"This weapon can see in the dark," she told the others "like some sort of night-vision. Could be useful."

"Alright, let's just head on over to the SS HQ already. Get this damn mission in the bag and all."

"It should be far now." Ravenna said "A few blocks north of here and we should spot it. I can use their own precious wonder weapon against their guards as well."

"I do love poetic justice." Logan mused "Some of the German own tech is gonna help us bring them down. Man ya gotta love that."

Vic's tanks had done well today. They'd pushed pretty far into Berlin and captured quite a few Germans along the way.

However, now they had to stop. After all, they were meeting up with the Kovar fellow around here. He'd have their mission, the one that was oh shrouded in mystery for some reason.

Eventually he saw what he believed to be Kovar's tank approach his Sherman. Kovar popped out of the top of the Tank and looked down at Vic and his squad as they rested against their tank.

"I'm look for Commander Victor Stone, see him?" the Russian asked

"That's me," Vic replied "I'm guessing you're Commander Kovar."

"Precisely," he replied "strange... I expected someone... else... I did not know America allowed coloured people into its army."

"We're segregated but we're allowed." explained Vic "I'm part of an all African-American company."

"Hmph, the same group of people the Nazis believe as inferior as us Russians." Kovar mused "How appropriate you've been assigned to help us in our mission."

"And what exactly is this mission?" Victor asked "I've been told to come out here and no one is telling me why? So if you can tell me what our mission is please do."

"You sound as ready for battle as I am." Kovar observed, a pleased look on his face

"I just want to go home," Victor told him "thats all I everyone here wants. We've proven we can fight as good as any white man, now all I want is to get back state side. If doing this mission means we can go home then so be it."

"Don't worry, it does." Kovar told him "If we're successful then we'll effectively end this dreaded conflict once and for all. We're going to heart of Berlin together Comrade, you and me both. Further then any American is allowed. And together... we're going to kill the person who started this damn war in the first place."

Vic was startled, this Russian couldn't have been serious. If he was suggesting what he thought he was suggesting...

"You... you mean...?"

"Yes." Kovar nodded

"Why me?" Vic asked "Why not anyone else?"

"They told me I'd figure it out when I saw you." Kovar said "He needs to die begging and pleading for mercy, running scared like the dog he is from the very people he thinks superior to. We're going to kill him Victor Stone... and make sure it's as inglorious as possible. It will be an example to all those who try to follow in his footsteps, his death will be the downfall of Nazi ambitions. Adolf Hitler will die by our hands."

Ravenna took up position on the roof of as nearby house. The SS HQ was only across the street. There weren't many guards, just a few regular SS soldiers and infantrymen wearing those strange flying contraptions on their backs.

She'd pick them off while Logan and the other Americans stormed the building. The signal would be the first shot she'd fire. In any other circumstance she wouldn't be able to see the Germans as clearly. But with this night-vision scope... she could make them all out very clearly.

A shot rang out, and one of the SS troopers fell to the ground. That was the cue for Logan and the other Americans to rush in. They took cover behind the wall and began firing at the SS troopers in the courtyard. One of the flying Germans launched off from the roof towards Logan and the others. Ravenna fired another burst of shots and hit the man's head. The German slammed into the ground and died in a heap.

Bullet after bullet slammed into a different Nazi's chest. Logan and the American soldiers slowly advanced on the building and Ravenna covered them all the way. Taking out the flying Germans and those on the ground with ease.

One of the flying Germans did get past Ravenna though and landed on Logan. She watched in horror for a moment or two when the German did land on him. She thought he was done for as the blades chopped around getting close to his head. But a burst from his Tommy Gun ended the life of the German and Logan tossed him off.

Logan and the Americans then entered the building. Unable to cover them now, Ravenna headed down towards them.

Inside, Logan and the American troops closed in on the head office of the HQ. They heard rustling from inside. Logan knew that could only mean someone was destroying documents as they spoke. The mission in jeopardy, Logan burst into the room. He trained his gun on the man ripping up secret files from his cabinet.

He couldn't believe, it was Heinrich Himmler, the actual head of the SS. The quick encirclement of the city must've trapped him inside Berlin.

The SS leader went for a luger on the table, but Logan fired at it flinging it away. Then he rushed up and pinned the German against the wall.

"Don't kill me!" he pleaded "We can negotiate!"

"Save it!" Logan shouted

Logan slammed the butt of his gun into Himmler's stomach and the Nazi bended over onto the floor.

"Secure him," Logan ordered "he's got a lot to answer for when this war is over."

There was a rustling from one of the closets. The American soldier nearest it opened it up and pointed his gun inside.

"Hey we gotta another one!" he shouted

He pulled out a grubby little man in a dirty lab coat.

"Don't shoot!" he cried "I'm unarmed!"

The Americans searched him to see if he was telling the truth, while they did Ravenna showed up. She was stunned by the scene before her.

"Is that..." she began "is that Himmler?"

She looked over at the SS Leader, now curled up into a fetal position with American guns pointed over him.

"Damn straight." Logan said "We got this one to."

Ravenna looked at the lab coat German now. Her eyes shot wide open. She walked over to the man, staring him straight in the eye.

"Look at me."

The German refused.

"Look at me!" She screamed

The German still refused

Ravenna now grabbed his head and pulled him into his line of sight.

"LOOK AT ME!"

The German finally shifted his eyes into Ravenna's... and then broke down in sobs.

"What's going on?" Logan asked "Rae you know this guy?"

"No," Ravenna replied "but I know of him. Meet Josef Mengele, the Angel of Death of Auschwitz concentration camp. He performed sick experiments on people... living people. Stuck needles in them, cut off limbs, sterilized them with x-rays, performed shock treatments, every horrible thing imaginable. We only found out about it when we found the camp and retrieved some of his documents from the buildings."

The German didn't say anything... he just sobbed to himself.

"Why are you crying?" she asked "Are you sorry? It bit too late for that."

"I'm crying because I'll never finish my work." The bastard sobbed "You fools have ruined it all. All those years wasted-"

"Shut up!"

Ravenna shot him once in the foot and watched the Nazi fall over in pain. Neither Logan or the Americans voiced any protest.

"You and Himmler will be held accountable for your crimes." She told the pathetic wailing man "There's no running off to some far away land, no cyanide pills to escape justice. You'll hang from a noose by the time this all over."

"It doesn't matter."

They looked over to Himmler, who raised himself off the ground.

"We'll all die soon anyway." he explained "Deathstroke will make sure of that."

Logan marched over to him and pulled the man up to his eye level. Time to get what they came here for.

"What is Operation: Finale Vengeance?" Logan demanded

"Its our last throw of the dice." Himmler said "We're going to lose, but we're going to take as many Allied lives as possible. Moscow, New York, London, Washington DC, and Berlin itself. We're going to kill you all along with us!"

Logan threw the man to the ground. He was sickened beyond belief now. Not only were these bastards planning to kill American, Russian and British civilians, they were planning to kill their own people! These people were insane.

"We'll see about that." Logan said defiantly

After the Nazi war mongers were properly tied up Logan and Ravenna searched the SS archives. They found blueprints, plans, everything and anything about Operation: Finale Vengeance. There were so many weapons involved in the mission, some the Germans only had enough money to make a handful of. Bombers that could cross the Atlantic, subs that could carry rockets, airborne aircraft carriers, even something about a bomber that could reach sub-orbit. All the documents referred to a grand weapon that could wipe cities of the map with one blow... but didn't say what it was.

"Almost everything is here, but it doesn't tell us everything." Logan said "We know how they're getting across the ocean but what are they dropping?"

"The documents say that the weapon's identity is only known to a few select members of the Reich's chancellery." Ravenna read "So then where are they?"

"Where else?" shouted Himmler from across the room "The Reichstag itself. We haven't used it for anything but propaganda and storing our files in it. You want to know about how we're going to blow you all up go ahead and go there. We're die anyway! I don't care anymore!"

"Shut him up already!" Logan ordered

The American soldiers did so. But even though Himmler was annoying he had been helpful.

"If the Reichstag is where the information on this secret weapon the Nazis are going to use is then we'll have to bust in there and find it." Logan reasoned

"Which means we're headed into the heart of the Reich itself." Ravenna added "Sounds risky."

"You're not scared are ya?" Logan asked "I mean its only the heart of the greatest evil empire in the world."

"You kidding?" Ravenna asked "I want to be there, I want to see our troops take that building for the Motherland. I was going to make sure we went there anyway just for that, this just means its part of the job now."

"Good enough for me." Logan said "We'll send to boys back to Allied lines with our prisoners. It's time we find out what Deathstroke has in store for us."

AN: So the war is coming to a dramatic close, trust me it is, and Ravenna and Logan are headed to the Reichstag to watch the Nazi Regime fall for good. But what is this secret weapon Deathstroke is planning to drop on the Allies, Soviets and his own people? And separately will our Titans villains escape Azula's clutches? Find out in the next dramatic pulse pounding chapter of...

Titans of War!

See? Wasn't that a hell of a lot of story? And the next one will have even more! We're in the homestretch now... just around two chapters left.


	22. Chapter 22

Titans of War

Chapter 22: Heart of the Reich

AN: Today's chapter is different, we're starting with the actual story first, ending with today's weapon. Perhaps its better this way, as people can just ignore the little history lesson overall. Not that it matters, it won't be a long one anyway.

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The sky was black with smoke now, as Berlin itself seemed to burn from all sides. In less then two days the overwhelming forces of both American and Russian forces had drained the last bits of reserves from every major defensive point in Berlin. Soldiers were abandoning their posts on the Russian side of the city and surrendering to the Allies on their side of the city. They knew it was lost cause to defend the crumbling regime. They only cared about one thing... survival.

The only major defensive point of resistance was the Reichstag itself now. The building hadn't been used much since it had first burned down. It mostly existed as a form of propaganda. Only a few speeches had ever been given in its halls since Hitler took full power over Germany. But it was significant in one respect, for the Russians at least. Taking the Reichstag meant they'd achieve their final revenge. So as the Americans watched on the sidelines, the Russians headed in to finish the war.

However the Reichstag was significant in another respect for Logan and Ravenna. Inside they'd find the secret behind the Nazis diabolical vengeance plan and exactly what it entailed for their respective countries. Whatever it was it couldn't be good. Logan would be the only American taking part in this attack, and Ravenna herself would finally see her country men triumph over their hated enemy first hand. They were both already at the staging area... preparing for the final assault.

"So many years," Ravenna thought aloud "I never thought I'd be here to see the end of it. To see all of this come to fruition."

"That's somewhat morbid." Logan told her "What? Did you think you'd die before you'd get this far?"

"Sometimes," she admitted "other times I just thought I wouldn't be here precisely. Now I'm going to watch the Nazi Regime die in front of my eyes."

"Don't count your chickens before they're hatched Ravenna." Logan warned "We still got who knows how many units of SS Troopers in our way."

A whistle cried out over the battlefield. That was the signal, time to go.

Ravenna and Logan rushed to get behind a tank as it headed towards the heavily defended courtyard of the Reichstag. Bombing from Russian planes had devastated most of the defenders, Maus tanks lay in ruins around the steps. Their bulky frames and heavy weight had destroyed the steps beneath them and made them easy targets for Allied and Soviet air superiority. Nonetheless the tank fired on the German soldiers ahead, still clinging to hope they could defend this important German landmark.

It was in vain of course, but even Ravenna had to admire their spirit a little. Didn't make her hate them any less though.

As the tank they hid behind drew closer to the entrance of the building the mass of German soldiers began to pour out. Their tanks were gone, but they still had a few of their weapons left. Soldiers with those helicopter packs, the wire guided missiles, those infrared rifles, everything was barreling down on the Russian attackers.

Protecting her comrades the best she could, Ravenna used the stolen infrared rifle to take out the wire-guided missiles operators in the windows of the Reichstag as they approached. She also took care of any snipers and machine gunners in those positions as well. Logan took another approach to clearing out the road ahead, mounting the top machine gun of the tank he began firing on the out pour of German troops coming at them. He was hoping they'd give up soon, but that hope was soon dashed. As he cut down the Germans he could see it in their eyes that they weren't going to give up. It wasn't out of some fanatical devotion though, didn't look like that at all. These soldiers weren't defending this place out of patriotism or duty, they were doing for the most basic of instincts, survival. They had the look of a cornered feral animal in their eyes, one that was beaten, bruised and bloody but refused to quit out of fear of death.

Logan pitied them, but it didn't stop him from doing what he needed to do. He wanted to make it out of this alive as well; this wasn't personal like it was between them and the Ruskies. To live he had to kill them, it was the only way he'd ever get home.

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Home seemed so very far away right now for Victor. As he and Commander Kovar moved through the rubble of Berlin towards Hitler's Bunker he couldn't help but feel a sense of dread. He was so close to the end of it all, he could hear the battle at the Reichstag raging in the distance, it was almost finished. But that just meant he had to survive who knows how much more time in this godforsaken city. It could be from anywhere to five minutes to a day... and a lot of things could happen in both time periods.

He had no illusions; killing Hitler wouldn't stop the war. The Germans would still need to surrender. This was just to make sure the world would have its corpse. That the monster would be dead and he would die un-heroically. His legacy would be one of a coward and a bastard, nothing more. That's at least how Kovar put it.

Kovar, when Victor first meant him a few hours ago he seemed like a regular veteran soldier. Grizzled, hardened, the old fashioned shoot everything that moves and roll over them for good measure kind of guy. He'd probably be the kind of person the American Army would want, if he wasn't a Communist of course. After awhile though another side of that personality was shown as well. He was vengeful, very much so, as was his entire crew. The German soldiers they spotted in the streets, whether moving to attack or retreating, always ended up getting gunned down by Kovar's men. He never batted an eyelash as he wiped out whole positions of Germans holding out in alleyways. He merely laughed at their attempts to destroy his tank with Kar 98's and opened up the flamethrower on them. It was very disturbing to Victor.

True, he hated Nazis as much as the next guy... but Kovar loathed them. He figured all Russians were like that, considering what happened to them when the Germans invaded them. Still, it didn't make it any less easy to watch.

Finally their long drive ended, they arrived at their destination. Before them they could see the outline of the Bunker. As they got closer they could clearly see the ugly slab of concrete sticking out from the rubble around it.

"So this is where the great leader of the German people hides while his people and city fall around him." Kovar laughed "Pathetic."

"Should we give them a chance to surrender him?" Victor asked "He's the only one we want after all."

"HA!" Laughed Kovar "If anyone is still left with that madman after everything he's done then they're obviously his most loyal soldiers. To warn them would only give Hitler a chance to commit suicide or flee."

"So what do we do?" Victor asked "Fire up the flamethrower and hope it kills him? Cause I'm not going in there, who knows how many soldiers are guarding him."

"Your point is valid," Kovar nodded "but fear not... I got an idea. We'll spook the little Mudak out."

Before Victor could ask the Russian to elaborate, Kovar was on the radio with command. He gave a set of coordinates, obviously for the bunker and told them to fire. The next thing they knew a screaming barrage of Katyusha rockets were heard overhead, they slammed into the bunker with a devastating earth shaking sound. As the smoke cleared though no visible damage had been left of the bunker itself. The rockets were obviously not enough to penetrate its walls.

"A lot of good that did us," Victor told his Russian friend "what exactly did that accomplish?"

"If they believe the bunker is taking fire they'll decide to move their precious leader or he'll run." Kovar explained "Either way, we get to bring him out into the open. Come on, we'll go around back."

It didn't take long to circle around to the back of the bunker, there the tanks waited just around some obscuring rubble. Kovar kept watch over the bunker exit, eventually a group of people emerged from inside. Kovar smiled and ordered the tank to move forward. The Russian tank emerged from behind its cover and made the group of Germans run for cover.

"Let them run!" Kovar ordered "Look for the one we want!"

One German stood their mystified, scared out of his wits he tried to claw his way back into the bunker, but machine gun bullets peppered around him. Kovar could make out his distinct hat, his eyes, the mustache, it was him.

Victor kept his tank behind Kovar's, keeping the Germans who stayed off his Russian friend. They tried shooting at the tanks with their pistols and rifles, but to no avail. Victor easily gunned them down as the rest ran for cover. One German, a woman, rushed over to the one near the Bunker's side and pulled him towards her, trying to lead him in a way she thought was safer. Instead of pushing her away though, the man slapped the woman to the ground and took out a pistol. He fired several shots into her before turning the gun on Kovar's tank... and throwing it to the ground in front of the tank. He wanted to get out, but he could find no safe passage. He wasn't looking for a defiant last stand.

Kovar didn't give him a chance to, a stream of flame engulfed the German. He fell backwards into a ditch, still on fire.

When the flames died down and the area was clear, Victor and Kovar got out to inspect the ditch. The German was now smoking black, charred, clinging to life.

"Mission is almost accomplished." Kovar said aloud "Now we just need to finish him."

"I don't see why we can't just drag him to trial?" Victor asked "He's not that badly burned. Then we could have him strung up, desecrated, his body dragged through the streets like they did to Mussolini."

"Don't be naive Victor." Kovar shouted back "We let him take the stand and he'll try to defend his actions, calling for future generations to complete his work. We can't let that happen, he has to die... badly... terribly... disgracefully."

"But if we kill him," Victor warned "then it will be like he died in battle, people could make a martyr out of him."

Kovar thought Victor's words over a moment. Then he suddenly dropped down into the ditch next to the man.

"I know you can't understand, but I don't care."

Kovar began violently kicking and punching the burnt German leader, stepping on his open wounds and sores. All while he spoke in Russian, listing off what seemed like other people's names in anger. Then he climbed out of the ditch, and called over another soldier from his tank.

"Tell him when we bring him back to Moscow there will be more of that." Kovar told him "That we'll keep him alive, but only barely for days, and watch him suffer. But in the end he'll have the chance to defend himself in a fair trial, to try and redeem his actions... but we will find him guilty and he will pay the price for all the lives he's ruined."

He then handed the soldier a gun

"Then give him this... and tell him its the only other option."

Victor watched as the translator repeated in German all Kovar had told him. He watched as the dying Fuehrer took the gun in hand and began quietly cursing the German people under his breath, Germany, everyone and everything he knew, denying he was wrong to the end, but refusing to let the Allies make a mockery of him and allow the Jews and Communists to seek justice for his righteous crusade to see them all destroyed. Victor heard the translator repeat the words in English back to him, for a dying evil bastard he had a lot to say. Finally the burnt Chancellor turned his gun towards his own head.

As the camera rolled over the scene, catching every moment of it all, Kovar couldn't help but feel a form of satisfaction. He could hear the shot ring out for several seconds after it had been fired. The whole scene, from his emergence from the bunker to his final moments had been captured. Hitler, in his last breath, incriminated himself of his crimes, admitted to them, and died, not for country, race, or valor... but to avoid the justice he deserved.

Kovar didn't think he deserved a burial... so he had his men burn the body to ashes with the tank.

"We'll gather up the ashes and throw them into the nearest river." Kovar told Victor. "No one will be able to ever mark his grave."

After a moment of silence, a full ten minutes in fact of everyone taking in the whole thing, the group of tankers returned to their vehicles. Kovar gave Victor the ashes he could muster up from the ditch in a small jar.

"He didn't leave much left," Explained Kovar stoically "you'll have to find the best place to dump him. Then journey back to your own lines."

"What about you?" Victor asked

"I have one more stop to make." Kovar told him "It need not concern you, go home Victor, you've earned it. Hopefully we can all do the same soon."

Victor watched as Kovar's tank disappeared into the ruins of Berlin. It had been a long road since this war broke out and never in his wildest dreams did he think he'd be here, in this city, holding the ashes of the most disgusting monster in history. It was an overwhelming feeling. Victor didn't exactly know how to feel at the moment.

But as far as he was concerned his war was over, the fighting was almost done. It was about 20 minutes through Allied controlled territory before he got back to the command post and then he'd finally, finally be done. For once in a long time, home had seemed so much closer then right now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

The Reichstag defenders were holding strong, keeping the Russians away from the front entrance as long as possible. Ravenna and Logan had been forced to take refuge behind a large broken wall as machine gun fire rained down on their position.

"Think you can get a shot off?" Logan asked

Ravenna raised her head up slightly, only to quickly lower in as bullets slammed into the wall above her head.

"Not under this fire." Ravenna told him.

Ravenna's fears of being shot to pieces soon became obsolete; before they knew it the machine gun grew silent and in its place was the roar of flamethrower. The two looked up to see a large tank near them spewing fire into the entrance of the Reichstag. Germans fell to the ground and rolled down the steps to a dead stop, fire wrapped round the pillars blocking more soldiers from getting out. By the time they had died down, Russians troops were already scrambling up to the big entrance door.

On top of the tank, Ravenna recognized an old friend. Commander Kovar, laughing in delight at the sight of his countrymen and fellow soldiers as they came ever closer to victory. Ravenna could barely contain her surprise.

"Kovar! She shouted as she and Logan rushed over "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently helping you all win this war of yours." He shrugged, getting down off the tank "This is the final step towards victory; I'm not missing out on partaking in it. Question is, what are you doing here?"

"I and the Lieutenant Logan are on special assignment." Ravenna explained "There are documents inside the Reichstag we require. In order to get them we must help take it."

Kovar seemed very interested that an American was here at the Reichstag.

"An American eh?" he asked "Well congratulations you will be the only Westerner to watch the Nazis fall before your very eyes. Their leader is already dead, this will be the final much needed blow."

Ravenna and Logan were puzzled, what was Kovar talking about?

"What do you mean their leader is dead?" Asked Ravenna

"Adolf Hitler is kaput." Elaborated Kovar "Burnt, dead, gone, charbroiled, he's no longer our concern."

So, Hitler was dead. While good news, Ravenna and Logan wondered what this meant concerning the Nazis and their little Vengeance project. In order to obfuscate their concerns Logan greeted the good news as anyone would expect someone to do.

"Well isn't that good to hear." Logan piped up "Just wish I had been the one to do it."

Kovar laughed heartily at this.

"You and me both Comrade, but come, we have far more pressing matters."

With that, Kovar, Ravenna and Logan all entered the very heart of the Reich on foot. As they entered the main hall they were joined by thousands more Russian soldiers, all rushing forward through the crumbled halls of the Reichstag. All of them were eager to rush through the final bastions of German resistance. Chances were they wanted to be the ones to reach the roof first. Whether that determination would be their undoing or actually help them was yet to be seen.

An officer pushed himself up on some overhanging scaffolding, a dying German soldier was beneath him trying to crawl away. The officer shot him with his pistol once he saw he was alive. Then without missing a heartbeat he turned to his comrades.

"The Motherland smiles upon you all!" He shouted at them "You have fought long and hard to reach this far! We have all sacrificed to reach this point! Yet she is still not satisfied, the Motherland asks one last thing of all of you! To complete our revenge! Exterminate the Fascists from this decrypt burning building, rip their flag from the roof and raise our own in its place! Show courage! Show pride! Show Honor! But show no mercy!"

More then anything, the Soviets seemed to take that last order to heart, rushing head long into the fray screaming bloody murder as they went. Ravenna and Logan had to rush through the influx of incoming soldiers just to keep pace with Kovar who seemed like a man possessed. He wasn't slowing down for anyone.

They reach the main entrance hall, or at least what was left of it. The Germans may not have used the place much since the fire back in the Thirties, but they certainly weren't intending to abandon the landmark from the looks of it. Soldiers lined the staircases and walls of the area, keeping watch with their guns at the ready. Many Russians were gunned down as they entered but there were always replacements for those who had fallen.

Ravenna pressed herself up against a broken piece of the caved in ceiling that now lay on the ground. Logan joined her, Kovar didn't. He took a more abrasive route around the carnage through some of the fallen scaffolding. He was shooting wildly at any Germans he spotted, mostly those rushing down the stairs. Ravenna at least was a little more practical, picking off the Germans from a distance so her comrades could rush through. But a machine gun on the top of the stairs was able to evade her bullets, as it sported some kind of makeshift shield that protected its gunner.

"We'll never make it to the roof with that thing in our way." Logan told her "Draw its fire I'll try and take it out."

Ravenna nodded and quickly rushed towards another bit of cover across from them, a fallen pillar. She fired at the machine gun, making it focus on her. It didn't see Logan rush out to fling a grenade towards it. The explosive device landed behind the shield and the next second a blast sent the gunner flying backwards and away from the gun.

Kovar laughed at the sight before him and continued along his merry way. Up the steps he rushed kicking down the door at the top of them and rushing through into the halls. Ravenna and Logan ran after him, entering the burning inner halls of the Reichstag. All around them they saw burning Nazi flags, over turned furniture being used as barricades, torn pictures of Hitler and the screams of both Russian and German soldiers as they battled each other in hand to hand combat. They caught glimpses of the struggle as they rushed through the area, Russians beating in the skulls and slicing the necks of German soldiers. It wasn't so much a fight as it was a slaughter.

They eventually arrived in the grand meeting area, where the German parliament was suppose to meet. After the fire they never really assembled here much except for a few rallies and propaganda recordings, but that hadn't stopped the Nazis from hanging a large Eagle over the place. It sat at the back of the hall, lording over the chancellery and parliament like a mountain lion over its prey. Down below, German soldiers were desperately trying to hold back the Russian tide as it swept into the very halls of their crumbling government.

Kovar couldn't help but feel a sense of accomplishment... but it wasn't enough. Not yet.

"They try to hold us back," Kovar observed "to impede us, how futile."

"I'll thin their numbers so our men can get through." Ravenna told Kovar "You and Logan get down there and help in the assault."

Ravenna took aim with her rifle as Logan and Kovar rushed downstairs to the parliament. She settled her sights on the officers, the leaders of the defense and began to empty her clip. She made sure to take clean headshots and quickly maneuver over to the next target before he knew what had happened, the sounds of battle seemed to help in that endeavor.

Officer one fell, crumbling forward into the seat before him, the next one fell backwards into the chancellery seating near where Hitler must've once stood once or twice. Ravenna fired again at the machine gunner beside her last target, he slumped over but did not release the trigger, strafing two other Germans in the back before he died.

As Ravenna continued to fire another threat became evident from across her, Germans on the second balcony seating began firing on her position. More of her comrades were there to back her up, but she had to quickly shift focus to them or face being shot full of holes. She just hoped she had done enough to help Logan and Kovar shift the tide down below.

If she could look down to watch them though she would see they were doing rather good for themselves. The dwindling reserves of German defenders were no match for never ending onslaught of Soviet troops. Nonetheless they fought on like men possessed. In the midst of the carnage, Logan and Kovar thought they could hear music coming from the podium. At first they believed it was in their heads, but no it was there. Someone was playing Nazi marching music for their German friends to keep their spirits up, but it wasn't enough to help them win.

"Their numbers are thinning!" Kovar shouted loudly as he fired into a German's kneecaps at close range "Keep shooting!"

Logan watched a Nazi with a flamethrower rush in and try to spurt fire at the Soviet troops. Logan however kept his cool and merely shot at the large tanks on the man's back. They exploded taking other Nazis nearby with him.

Kovar noticed a wire guided missile next to him, the German operator had been killed in the fighting. Figuring he would no longer need it, Kovar took the weapon for himself, set it up and fired it straight at his target. He did not need to wire guide it though, as his target was not moving nor human. It was the large Eagle at the back of the room. The missile slammed into the insignia and the large Nazi symbol began to crumble and finally fall to the ground in a huge heap. The debris from the crash leveled the podium area and sent the Germans who were defending those positions running for cover.

"Their defense falls as easily as their decrypt regime and its decadent symbols!" Kovar shouted with glee "It won't be long now!"

The way was now clear for the Russians to take the parliament floor. The Germans had been forced out at last. Now their attention shifted to a large door at the back of the room one that would lead straight to the roof. Ravenna joined Logan and Kovar as two large burly Russian soldiers busted down the door.

"We're almost there!" Kovar said with unbottled anticipation "I can taste it! I can feel the very breath of this filthy ideology drifting away!"

Logan couldn't help but interject, he had been hearing so many Metaphors in the past few minutes it was maddening. He had to say something.

"Does everyone in the Soviet Army have to make fighting Nazis this full of metaphors and abstract observations?" Logan asked the two "I mean, I know this is personal but its kinda morbid."

"They call this the Patriotic War for nothing Logan." Ravenna told him "Besides we've had how many years to come up with this stuff? I think we have the right to use it."

Logan merely shrugged and they continued up the steps towards the roof. When they arrived they finally could see the sky again through the burning and crumbling roof of the Reichstag. More of the dome fell off as they ascended and they entered into a chaotic scene playing out before them. Nazis and Soviets all firing at one another with reckless abandon, bullets were whizzing everywhere, explosions were erupting left and right and the sound of artillery shells could be heard easily from their position.

They weren't very far from their goal, at least in terms of feet. They had tons of enemy soldiers in their path, but at least they had more Soviet allies waiting in the wings to help them. Ravenna took up position behind some scaffolding to lay out cover fire for Kovar and Logan as they pushed forward through the mass of German soldiers. They ducked and rolled from cover to cover, taking pot shot at the German positions ahead. Nazis fell over the railings above or collapsed onto the pavement from a well placed headshot. As large group of Nazis took cover behind a mass of collapsed ceiling pieces ahead, Logan took out a grenade and flung towards them. The resulting blast either killed or disoriented the Germans enough to properly give Kovar the time to take them out.

They now neared the end of the dome, a large open doorway to the actual outside roof itself. Ravenna joined them as soon as they reached it. The roof was littered with Nazi defenders, all of them dug in rather deep. But that wouldn't matter in the next two minutes. Logan looked up, hearing the whistling sound of rocket overhead. He knew that sound, Katyushas.

"Cover!" Logan shouted

Everyone quickly got away from the incoming projectiles. They slammed into the roof headlong, destroying the Germans where they stood. It was a bloodbath. Nothing survived the barrage, nothing that didn't want to be dead to be precise. Germans with their legs, arms even half their torsos blown off and were somehow still alive clawed their way along the roof, begging to be killed.

Kovar didn't answer their pleas. He was too busy picking himself up after the rocket strike. Ravenna and Logan rose along with him and began walking out onto the devastated terrace of the Reichstag roof. Kovar found a Soviet flag bearer among his dead comrades and took up the Hammer and Sickle as his own. He looked back at Ravenna, apparently asking her for her approval to let him plant the flag. For a moment she didn't answer, considering what it would mean if she let Kovar go through with this honor, one she herself would've liked to have. But in the end, she relented, realizing that the honor was every Soviet's, no matter who planted the flag, not just Kovar's.

She nodded to him, and Kovar's smile widened. He rushed towards the edge of the Reichstag, flag aloft and waving brilliantly in the sky. But as he ran something stumbled up from below the ledge Kovar was jumping down to on his path to the Nazi flag. A German soldier rose up and with a luger pistol fired off a round that caught Kovar in the leg. The mighty Russian tank commander fell to the floor of the ledge and the German moved in to finish him off, but he was kicked back by Logan and thrown to the floor. The German rolled back up, but his shoulder was soon pierced by the rifle round from Ravenna. He stumbled close to the edge of the Reichstag, only for Logan to stab him in the forehead with a knife and booted him off the side of the building, the blade still lodged in his forehead. The lieutenant could retrieve it later.

Ravenna rushed to Kovar's side and helped him.

"Come on," she egged him on "you can make it."

Taking her pistol Ravenna shot at the rope holding the Nazi flag high aloft the pole. The Swastika drifted down to the streets below as Kovar finally took his stand.

"The honor is all yours." Ravenna told him "The honor is all of ours. Place the flag Kovar."

Kovar plunged the flag deep into the sand bags surrounding the Nazi Flag pole, a tremendous cheer rose up from behind him as he did so. The Russian collapsed to the floor of the ledge and propped himself up against the wall near the flag, breathing heavily.

"Well you got your revenge." Logan told him "Was it all worth it?"

Kovar thought the statement over, the years of bloodshed, torment, most of his friends killed, his whole family dead, thousands of miles from home, more wounds in his body then he could shake a stick at, countless brave Russians gone in the line of duty and now his blood was leaking onto the conquered building of his hated enemy.

"Yes," Kovar stated flatly "it was all worth it."

--------------------------------------------------

It took hours before the building was truly secure and Ravenna and Logan could actually look for the files they needed. Kovar was fine, for the most part. He was in a medical tent at the moment having his wounds treated. Hopefully they'd be able to save his leg.

However Logan and Ravenna had to put their friend's current situation out of their minds for now, as they still had a bigger and far more grand problem facing them. "Operation: Final Vengeance's" objective was finally clear. It had been obvious ever since they first started this mission; they were going to bomb the cities of London, Moscow, New York City and Washington DC. The means appeared to be that rather large bomber they saw in the Pacific, the Junkers 390. It was a powerful looking beast of an aircraft with sixe engines and apparently enough range to get to America with a full load of bombs. There were other weapons of course, but they weren't familiar with them.

"Hitler's certainly saved his best weapons for last." Logan observed "Still it doesn't make sense to expend all this effort to drop a bunch of conventional weapons. It's bad, but it's not a very grand objective."

"I agree." Ravenna replied "It just doesn't make sense; a bomber of the size of the 390 could carry a far greater weapon then regular German bombs."

Logan flipped the page of the folder... and both he and Ravenna stared at what was there bug eyed. It made their spines shiver and stomachs drop like they were full of lead. This was the weapon the Germans were making... and it was terrible in its scope.

"When do they launch?" Logan asked

Ravenna quickly flipped the page... and she saw the launch date.

"Upon Hitler's death." She read aloud "How long before the Germans find out about that exactly?"

Logan realized not long.

"We better contact command, now." He told her "We have a big problem on our hands."

Logan looked back at the picture of the weapon they faced. It was a large bomb; one that Logan had only seen pictures of in top secret files, that Ravenna had only heard about as theoretical. But they both recognized the symbol, the Radiation warning sign.

The Germans had a nuclear bomb.

-----------------------------------------

Beast Boy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on right there! You're telling me the Germans had a nuclear bomb! That isn't just some weirdo plot made up by conspiracy theorists and game designers?

To be honest Beast Boy, the info about the Nazi Nuclear program is rather sketchy. We know they were interested, we know they were trying to make one, but we also know they didn't exactly have the proper materials as well. At least that's what the official US army files say. According to official non-speculative history the nuclear program for the Nazis was essentially a mother who was never pregnant, never conceived.

Beast Boy: And unofficially?

Well they may have been closer than we thought, or they may at least have had the capacity to make a bomb. Estimations put the possibility that a German atom bomb may have only been as powerful as one kiloton. That's way less than the Hiroshima, 13 kilotons or Nagasaki bomb, 25 kilotons, but just as deadly. We're looking at a weapon that could probably level half of Manhattan and make the surrounding area a nuclear wasteland. It would probably not as cool as the Fallout games, but still pretty barren for a very, very long time. Meaning no Broadway plays for at least sixty years, maybe more. Which in turn of course means no Lion King, no Spam-a-lot, and no Wicked. Sorry musical fans.

Beast Boy: Well now you're really scaring me.

Hey it never happened, in my experience its best not to think about alternate history too much. It hurts ones heads and gives them nightmares. You don't want to know how hard it was getting the image of a Nazi Astronaut on the moon out of my mind. Question, does Azula want the bomb? Cause she's wanted everything else.

Azula: Course I want it! That thing is the ultimate explosive device! Firebending would never be able to generate that much heat! I simply must have it!

Why? So you can wipe the Earth Kingdom off the face of the earth?

Azula: F--- that S---! I have far more greater uses for it! For example, have seen some of this shit these idiot fans write about me? I mean, seriously do these people have lives of their own! Look at this crap, I lose my memory and turn into some idiot drooling peace loving sissy! Bulls---! Lots of crap of me dying in some embarrassing bullcrap way or have my final scene in the finale switched around to turn me into a whinny bitch and my Brother and that water tribe peasant can get together or some s---. Since when does he even like her that way? Oh and don't get me started on this crap involving me and said Water Tribe peasant for some godforsaken reason, honestly who the f--- do these people think they are!

So what, you're going to blow up the Avatar fan base? That's a little harsh, I mean not all Avatar fans totally f-up your character.

Azula: I have to set an example; therefore a good portion of innocent fans must die. Too bad. Also I really, really want to blow up that iCarly bitch... Agni do I hate her. Stupid bitch thinks she can just take over my shows timeslot, I'll show her. And Out of Jimmy's Head too! I'll blow all those stupid cartoons away and leave only room for my show again! Avatar will finally get the recognition it deserves.

Geez, someone's acting out a little today.

Azula: F--- you!

Mai: Have you taken your pills Azula? You have a case of sailor's mouth for some reason

Azula: I take them when I feel down bitch! Screw off!

Mai: That's not how the medicine works Azula.

(Hands Azula her pills and she reluctantly downs them)

Azula: I apologize for the outburst, let's start again. I wish to use said explosive ordinance to lay waste to my enemies in such terrifying and illustrious way that my repressive compulsive anger issues will be easily silenced... because there will be no one left to bring it out.

Kim Jong Ill has more restraint then you.

Azula: Shut up and tell me where you put the bombs. I know you like to keep these films of yours real so where are they?

Do you know how much a nuke costs? Not cheap my dear, not cheap. You wanna pony up the cash for that stuff, go ahead, but don't look at me for it!

Azula: So how are you going to make the kaboom without a bomb?

A nuke is essentially one hundred cases of dynamite exploding Azula, that's a lot easier to buy in bulk then a nuke. I have those, that's basically it.

Azula: Then I'll just make one of my own then, how hard can it be I have a whoa factory of slaves at my command.

Why do you think it was so hard for the Germans to make this thing? Nukes requires intensive amounts of man power, huge resources, lots and lots of uranium derived from factories and people who actually know what the hell they're doing. German could barely keep planes in the air by the end of the war, let alone make a bomb of that magnitude. Even if they were close, and the eyewitness reports of such claims are sketchy, there's still the issue of delivering the device!

Azula: But I have the technology! I have the knowledge! I can look up the specs on this weird Interweb thing you people have! What's so hard about teaching these idiots how to make a bomb!

Because its not that easy! Think of it like this, I give a laptop containing the blueprints to the Little Boy atomic bomb to a bunch of Renaissance era inventors, some of the smartest minds of the modern era. I tell them what it is and what it can do and I've even translated the blueprints into their language. In theory this would give them the ability to make the bomb because they have all the knowledge right in front of them, however they simply do not have the resources to refine the Uranium, the proper materials to encase the core in a tough metal shell that's large enough to contain the device, the science of atomic energy has not been developed yet so they don't have the knowledge of how precisely the weapon works even if I try to explain it to them and they certainly don't have the proper industrial capacity to assemble the weapon either. At best, they'll stare at the blueprints on the laptop for an hour or so, come up with some funny designs of their own; fail to make them work and eventually the laptop will run out of battery and die. Knowing Leonardo Da Vinci, he'll also probably get bored with the idea and make something else instead. He kinda had ADD.

The same problem is there for you and the Germans, you have the knowledge of how to make this bomb, but what you don't have are the means. The Germans for example didn't have the industrial manpower or proper components available to make a bomb because their economy was bone dry and their industry was bombed back to the stone age by the allies. You by contrast are from a country in the middle of a steam powered industrial revolution, however you have still not yet discovered any forms of power beyond that and the reactors required to properly produce the uranium for said bomb need a lot more then friggin steam and coal fumes to run. Even here you don't stand a chance because this is a bloody movie studio! There's not a reactor around for miles that could make you the uranium, let alone enough of it to make a bomb!

Azula: Fine, fine, my dreams of nuclear fallout streaming down onto my enemies is a little harder then I previously thought, go figure. We'll just steal a nuke or something; I have villains as slaves no biggy.

Good luck with that, let's say you somehow DO get a bomb... how are you going to use it? Nuclear missiles have their own propulsion systems as a means of delivering themselves to their target, are you going to snatch one of those?

Azula: Happens all the time in your movies.

Movies are fictional for a reason Azula. If you get just a regular atom bomb you'll still face the issue of delivering it. Same as the Germans, even if they had the bomb the likelihood of them being able to get it to their enemies would be very difficult indeed. There were many forms of delivery systems the Germans thought of to bring the war to American shores, all of them rather farfetched and beyond their capacity once the war went south. We'll focus on the whole subject of the Axis trying to target America another time, right now lets look at the Junkers 390.

The 390 was a huge aircraft, rivaling the size of some of Americans biggest flying fortresses. Overall the design of the aircraft is sound, make a plane that can travel across the Atlantic ocean, simple. The Six engines and larger wingspan would've allowed the Germans to get to America, bomb a city or two and leave. They'd probably be intercepted by fighters at some point though. If ever spotted on American radar the 390 would've been easy prey for any American fights. It wasn't like they had fighters that could stay with the plane for long, they would all eventually have to go back for fuel. As for actually building them the Germans got two prototypes up and running... which were promptly destroyed by the Allies in a bombing raid, really one should expect this after awhile when they research these so called Wunder Weapons.

Azula: You must've built them. Maybe I can't drop atomic bombs on people, but I can still reign terror down from the heavens! It will be as if I'm a god! A god you hear me!

Ty Lee: Azula, while a lot of people would probably call you a goddess, cause you are... um... don't you think the whole... being a god thing... is... kinda... crazy?

Azula: Silence Ty Lee! I don't need your approval for anything! I'm already higher in rank, social class and in the government then you! I hold the keys to the kingdom not you! So shut your mouth before I rip it off.

(Ty Lee runs off crying her eyes out)

Mai: Really Azula was that necessary?

Azula: Oh she cries at everything, road kill, starving puppies, being forced to eat dirt, she's such a baby. She'll get over it. We need to worry about finding that bomber, round up the slaves we'll scour this entire studio if we have to!

Oh that's definitely not going to happen, I don't think your slaves are interested in helping you anymore.

Azula: What are you talking about?

(Large brick busts through Azula's window)

Control Freak: Up with labor! Down with management!

Azula: Oh damn, uprising, alright, Mai get out the flammable gas we're gonna fill the room and then that will be the end of it.

Billy Numerous: Oh do you really want to trust her with that? After all, she thinks you're a sycophantic narcissistic psycho! Am I reading this right?

Control Freak: Just read the passages you idiot!

(Azula steps out onto the ledge.)

Azula: Do I need to get out the beating sticks, perhaps the large spiked chain? Get back to work and stop trying to pin your opinions of me on Mai, she's too much of a wimp to actually write that stuff down.

Johnny Rancid: Not on the internet she isn't, her blog is full of crap on you. Like how your snoring annoys everyone but you won't admit you do it.

Private Hive: Or how you kept a teddy bear when you ten because you felt it was the only thing that loved you.

Gizmo: Or the fact that she thinks you're an obsessive compulsive bitch who needs a chill pill, seriously.

Azula: I'm silently fuming now, you have thirty seconds to get back to work before you all become charbroiled villains.

Control Freak: Don't believe us! See for yourself! Here's the transcript!

(Control Freak throw up a large stack of paper to Azula, who begins to read aloud)

Azula: Azula tortures people for fun, she seriously needs a psychiatrist, sometimes I feel sorry for her because she has so many issues with her family but she bottles them up, then I realize she's just plain crazy and wonder why I'm still her friend, every time I'm around her I feel like I'm going to get my throat slit. (Turns to Mai) Is this true? Have you been keeping a blog talking about me behind my back?

Mai: Honestly I don't really see the issue. Its my private thoughts Azula.

Azula: On the friggin internet!

Mai: I'm sorry if it offends you Azula but its the only way I can properly express my thoughts on you. Otherwise I'd eventually just explode and tell you to see a shrink... then you would probably kill me.

Azula: I never expected this from you Mai... although I guess I should've considering what happens during the final season, but still!

Mai: It's not my fault you need therapy, that's your father's. If this is how other people view you have no one to blame but yourself and how you act. Its not like I started a hate club, I worry for you more than anything really.

Azula: I don't need to be worried for! I'm completely sane and stable! Anyone who says different is a fool who deserves to be gutted!

Mai: You're kinda proving my point you know.

Azula: Shut up! You want to complain so much fine! Go back and have sex with my brother for all I care, I'll kill these little bastards myself!

Ty Lee: (Pokes head out of bathroom) Can I help?

Azula: Go screw yourself pinky!

(Ty Lee goes back in bathroom and cries some more)

Mammoth: Okay, we've pissed her off, now what?

Control Freak: Without her friends keeping us in check we can easily escape with no trouble at all! No acrobats putting our legs to sleep, no ninjas with knives staking us to the ground, its smooth sailing from here on out!

Bro Blood: What about the fact that we've angered the obviously unstable psychotic girl who spews fire out her fingers?

Control Freak: Oh... right... I didn't think of that.

(Azula jumps off the ledge and onto the factory floor)

Control Freak: Quick henchmen distract her while we make our escape!

Henchman 1: But... we'll die.

Control Freak: I'm aware of that actually... bye!

(Control Freak and the other main villains make a dash for the door)

Henchman 1: Well guys, its been an honor. I don't even know any of your names but I consider us all family.

Henchman 2: F--- this s--- I wanna live! (Runs for door, other henchmen follow)

Henchman 1: AWWW! Guys!

(Azula begins slinging fire all over the room, roasting henchmen to charcoal and throwing explosive fireballs everywhere. The chaos blows out a hole in the wall all the main villains run out of. Billy Numerous trips as they run)

Billy: Billy can't go on! Go on without Billy! Leave Billy behind! Billy will just slow you down!

(Everyone keeps running, apparently not listening to him)

Billy: Wait don't leave! Billy was being dramatic!

(Fireball goes off next to him, Bily Numerous splits into two extra Billys who help him up and run alongside him to catch up to his friends. Azula stomps out of hole after the villains breathing fire from her mouth)

Azula: Burn everyone! Burn everything!

(Titans Villains stop near a hanger)

Gizmo: What now tubby! She's gonna kill us!

Control Freak: We just need to find a means of transportation out of here!

(They open the hanger doors to reveal the Junkers 390 waiting for them)

Private Hive: Deliverance! We're gonna make it!

Control Freak: Everyone on board! We're flying this bad boy outta here!

(Junkers 390 begins taxing on runway very slowly and then starts to take off)

Villains: (Singing) I'm on a plane. I'm on a plane.

Everybody look at me cause I'm flying on a plane.

I'm on a plane. I'm on a plane.

Take a good, hard look at the motherf---in plane.

Control Freak: I'm on a plane motherf---er take a look at me.

Straight speeding through the air up in the clouds you see.

We got the wind flowing cross our wings, I ain't trying to be vain.

But you can't stop me motherf---er cause I'm on a plane.

Private Hive: Take a picture trick. I'm on a plane bitch.

We can bomb Azula's ass to dust in a sitch.

I got my pilot goggles, and my scarf.

We got machine guns hanging out the turrets and bags ready for our air sick barf.

Villains: I'm on a plane. I'm on a plane.

Everybody look at me cause I'm flying on a plane.

I'm on a plane. I'm on a plane.

Take a good, hard look at the motherfuckin plane.

(A blast of lightings strikes the wingtip of the 390 and it begins the crash with all on board screaming for dear life)

Azula: I really, really hate that stupid song. (Blows on smoking fingers) I need to get those idiots back, without a workforce I'll never be able to conquer Nickelodeon and get Avatar its rightful place as the greatest cartoon ever made! I must assemble the army! Wherever those fool villains are I will pave over them and anyone who stands in my way!

(Meanwhile near the Titan's trailer, the 390 lies in a broken heap of metal. Starfire comes out to greet the scattered villains who have all miraculously survived the crash.)

Starfire: Does anyone wish to partake in some brownies?

Control Freak: Oh sure, just let me get this scrap metal out of my ass. Say you wouldn't happen to have like an attic or basement you could hide us in would ya?

---------------------------------

Well the villains are safe, for now. Azula is on their heels and now the Titans must protect their mortal enemies from a villain who will totally f--k them up if they're not careful. And what about that other story? Will they stop the Germans from using their atomic bomb? Well tune in next time to find out!


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Target: America

Well it's been awhile, but we're still committed to ending this, so last chapter I believe we saw the ins, outs, possibilities, impossibilities and countless problems of the German atom bomb effort, but while they may have not been able to get a nuke to the shores of America with the Junkers 390 they had other plans and other methods of taking the war to American shores, such as a sub that would tow a portable firing platform for a missile, possibly nuclear, and a large mother ship of a plane that could launch parasitic jets to blow crap up, some were even suicidal jets! Now let's-

Control Freak: Oh shut up man! No one cares! You're just gonna put them in the story proper anyway, describe them there or something!

Someone is awfully crabby, I thought you'd feel better getting away from the crazed Fire Princess and her slave factory. Have the Titans been treating you poorly?

Billy: Oh no, not at all. Billy hasn't been better in years. Cyborg makes some mean hot wings!

Cyborg: Order up (Places hotwings down in front of Billy who begins eating them along with his clones)

So what exactly is the problem then?

Control Freak: Azula is still out there! And she's gonna come for us man!

Oh, that's actually a good point.

Robin: It doesn't matter, if Azula comes we'll be ready for her. She's just one girl, we can take her easy.

Control Freak: (Grabs Robin) You don't know Azula man, she was working us to death! We were practically making borderline Holocaust jokes! That shit will get you in trouble man! Almost as much trouble as showing Muhammad!

Robin: (Throws Control Freak off) Get a grip on yourself you fat nerd, we're the Titans, we've beaten you people dozens of times, we can handle one crazy Fire Princess.

Do you even watch her show?

Robin: I don't have time for television, especially not Nickelodeon. Are you trying to tell me she's tougher then all these guys combined?

Villains: (Answering immediately) Yes.

Starfire: This seems like a horrible lack of confidence. Perhaps more chocolate chip cookies will lift their spirits, I shall go out and buy some. (Leaves)

Trust me Robin, you really don't want to underestimate Azula. She's not your regular villain, at least not the kind that kept showing up on your program.

Bro. Blood: I feel insulted, my arc wasn't that lame was it?

Season three is kinda forgettable man, 1 and 2 had Terra and Slade, 4 had Trigon, 5 had a league of evil, you're kinda dull to be honest. Although admittedly your comic counterpart was hella crazy.

Bro. Blood: Oh... I suck.

Robin: She's a spoiled rotten little bitch who can shoot fire out her hands, big whoop. We can handle it, we're superheroes. We've fought way worse bad guys.

(Starfire returns)

Starfire: Um, I'm afraid I cannot reach the store... as there seems to be a large group of the huge weapons that General Rage has described throughout the course of this fanfic at the door.

(The Titans race outside to find a huge army of German Tanks surrounding the trailer)

Beast Boy: She brought her entire army to attack our measly trailer?

Raven: This girl has serious overkill issues.

Robin: We'll handle this, Villains you stay inside and-

(Turns back to see villains have locked the door behind them.)

Robin: Um, nevermind.

(Single Tank approaches and Azula pops her head out the hatch.)

Azula: Well if it isn't the Teen Titans... Agni you look more ridiculous then I thought. Spandex? Honestly? You fight crime in your underwear?

Robin: I'll have you know that these uniforms are specially designed to be aerodynamic and flexible.

Azula: You look like a traffic light and your green friend over there is in a purple jumpsuit.

Raven: She does have a point.

Beast Boy: Rae!

Raven: Well it's true.

Azula: Oh like you should talk, the cloak isn't bad but you show more leg then your orange skinned friend over there. Is your secret identity a stripper at a gentlemen's club?

(Raven readies to launch a magical attack but Robin waves her down)

Robin: Did you come here just to mock our outfits or are you actually going to do something?

Azula: Very well, I have simple demands, turn over my slaves and you may walk out of here alive.

Robin: Not gonna happen, they may have tried to kill us on a number of occasions.

(Villains call from trailer)

Bro. Blood: Forty Five!

Control Freak: Twenty Seven!

Mumbo: Sixty Two!

Robin: But they don't deserve to be turned into slaves! We're not afraid of you or your huge army of tanks! We're the Titans, Cyborg and Starfire here could decimate these things in minutes! Don't get me started on what Raven could do! And Beast Boy has the animal kingdom on his side! I've been trained by frickin Batman, so, yeah, we're kind of a big deal.

Azula: Oh good for you. (Mockingly claps for them) That explains so much actually.

Robin: Huh?

Azula: Oh it's simple really, I read your origin story. I like to know my enemies. You left your mentor slash father figure to establish your own identity didn't you? Yet throughout your series you could never seem to escape his shadow, ultimately turning into a Batman clone. In truth you never actually evolved past the team's resident Bat-family shtick of being a brooding overbearing jerk of a hero.

Robin: That... that is completely irrelevant to this entire scene.

Azula: Actually no, it has everything to do with it. I can see the real reason you want to protect these villains, you need them. Without crime you have nothing to fight, nothing to define yourself with, your life is so modelled after that of your papa bat that to end crime would forever doom you to a life mediocrity and uselessness. You'd wither away, forgotten by all. After all, who remembers the name of the man who took down the serial killer? You need these criminals to give your life purpose. Does it hurt you Robin? To know just how empty and dependent your life is on the evils of others, the very same evil you swore to stop? It's funny when you think about it actually.

(Robin looks as if he's on the verge of a mental breakdown and collapses to the ground sobbing.)

Robin: It's true! It's all true! I'm empty and alone! Alone!

Starfire: Robin! What has she done to him!

(Control Freak opens the Trailer window)

Control Freak: She's using her most diabolical power! Her Villainous Monologue! It's how she puts down everyone in her series!

Beast Boy: Well... crap. That's not good.

Cyborg: Oh come on, she can't be that good at villain monologues.

Azula: You're less of a man now and you try to compensate for it with your car and your sonic cannons.

(Cyborg plops to ground in fetal position)

Cyborgs: Vickie's a good boy. Vickie's a good boy! (Sucks thumb)

Raven: Oh great, she's gotten to Cyborg!

Azula: His was the shortest, but I got plenty more. Would you like to go next Raven? I wanna talk about your daddy issues so much.

Starfire: Everyone! Cover your ears!

Beast Boy: Screw it! She can't monologue while she's fighting! (Turns into T-Rex and rushes tank)

Azula: Oh, I'm so scared, so very scared. (Leaps out of Tank and launches huge fire ball that smacks BB in the chest throwing him back down to the ground where he demorphs)

Beast Boy: Well... that was rather unpleasant. (Head Collapses)

Raven: Crap, Starfire, grab Cyborg and Robin! (Starts dragging Beast Boy back to Trailer) We gotta get outta here.

Starfire: But we can defeat her! We've faced worse adversity!

Raven: She just took out three people here without even trying and she has an entire army ready to bulldoze us! Run!

(Raven and Starfire get the boys in the trailer while Azula approaches hands blazing.)

Azula: Anyone for a Superhero/Villain bar-b-q? I know I am!

(Starfire flings starbolts at Azula, who easily avoids them and flings back her own fire balls, Starfire punches one and zaps Azula with her eyebeams. Azula flips away and back towards her tank)

Azula: Fine, looks like those monologues will go to waste. But my tank shells won't.

(Starfire picks up Trailer and flys for it as Azula starts firing the tank's cannon)

Raven: Quick we gotta get somewhere safe! Get the boys back up and running! Otherwise this crazy bitch is gonna kill us all!

Go ahead, I already finished filming for the rest of the story, which we need to get back to by the way.

Starfire: Would you care to help us fend off the insane Nickelodeon character trying to annihilate us?

I'll think about it, I'm kinda interested in seeing where it goes.

Raven: Oh just go back to your friggin World War II AU already!

Geez no need to get angry, you're only getting shot at.

Berlin, April 21st, 1945

The Reichstag had fallen and the Allies and Americans had finally joined up with each other in the city center. For most of them the war's end was in sight, German forces were surrendering one by one, preferably to the Allies. No official surrender had been signed yet but everyone knew it was only a matter of time.

Meanwhile, word had reached them that Patton's Third army had begun rolling into Czechoslovakia. With the taking of Berlin being conducted by both sides of the Alliance, Eisenhower had let the General have his wish, to storm further into Europe. He didn't get to Berlin as he wanted but his push had, in his words, "kept them Red bastards from getting to Prague" and he felt that was a fair enough compromise.

However, while most soldiers celebrated, Lt. Logan and Ravenna weren't in the mood. They had discovered the diabolical plans of the Third Reich, a way to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat it seemed. The Nazis had an Atomic Bomb and the means to deliver to every major Allied city within minutes. They had notified command as quickly as they could and they had scrambled every fighter they could get into the air and every ship available. The information they had recovered earlier at the SS headquarters, the delivery devices for the bomb itself, were strewn across a table in a small room in the Reichstag where the two had taken residence. They had sent some of the documents to the nearest Allied Command center so they could see what they were sending their men out to look for. They had done all they could, now they were just waiting by their radio to hear news. Hopefully that said news wouldn't be about New York vanishing in a mushroom cloud.

They both felt so useless, so small at the moment, they had done everything to stop this attack and now they were on the sidelines, letting others finish their work. They didn't have much choice, they were no position to get half way across the continent to the only known staging area. Even if they could the place was too heavily guarded and with the full scope of the attack revealed they weren't so sure it was the only staging area.

Logan sat at the table tapping his fingers across it repeatedly while Ravenna stared out the window, deep in thought.

"I wish you'd stop that." She told Logan, referring to his fingers

"Helps me think." He replied bitterly

They both wondered though exactly what they were trying to think about. That they may have been too late? That Washington, New York, London and Moscow had already been wiped off the map and they just didn't know it yet?

"I hate not knowing." Ravenna complained "I hate waiting."

"Allied pilots are the best in the world," Logan assured her, although it sounded more like he was trying to assure himself "they'll stop that 390 and those other weapons. And your fly boys got some fancy new fighters too, jets right? They can stop that, high flying monstrosity, whatever it is."

Ravenna turned back from the window, sighed and sat back down at the table.

"Maybe we should go over what we know," Ravenna figured "collect our thoughts."

"Yeah, okay," Logan reluctantly agreed "so we know about the Junkers 390, it can get to the eastern Seaboard. They're sending one to London and DC. Those places are heavily defended, I doubt they'll get in before the fighters scramble."

Ravenna nodded, as tough as those bombers may have been they could be dealt with, hopefully.

"But there's also that carrier plane," Ravenna reminded him "it's providing escort."

Logan remembered that, the Daimler-Benz, an airplane far bigger than even the B-29. It had to be, it launched its own version of jetfighters. Smaller sleeker craft designed to protect the 390. From the blueprints they obtained it looked like there were several versions of the plane, but only this one actually got built. It was their only one, and if they were risking it on this operation it just went to show how desperate the Germans were.

Ravenna and Logan were understandably worried.

"Let's just hope the flyboys get to it in time." Logan repeated "If they can shoot them both down before they veer off to their respective targets we may have a shot to end the threat quickly."

Somewhere over the English Channel...

Ordered out of the fighting in Berlin, Dick and Wally soon found themselves flying over the waters separating England from Europe. They were now operating off of a small carrier in the channel, searching for an especially big airplane. That was at least what Kori told them they were looking for.

"Still don't see anything." Dick said over the radio "You'd think something this big would be easy to spot."

"Keep looking." Kori pleaded "The entire Atlantic fleet is scanning the skies with Radar along with us, we're bound to pick something up."

Suddenly there was a ping on Wally's scope. The radar in his P-80 was picking up something to the west.

"Hey guys I got something!" he said "Check out the cloud cover over to the right."

Dick looked out his window, in about twenty seconds he saw three large black shapes drift out of the clouds.

"Holy Moses," he said shocked "those things are huge!"

Even at this distance he could gather the planes' sizes were far greater than anything he had seen. They were big enough to probably fly all the way across the ocean with all their fuel they were carrying.

"What you think they're hauling?" Wally asked

"Don't know," Kori told them "but command says they're going to hit London and DC with it."

"But the war is over!" Dick shouted back

"Tell that to them." Kori responded "Don't bother asking why, just light them all up. Concentrate on the bombers."

Wally seemed confused, they were all pretty big planes.

"But, they're all bombers." He said "I don't see any fighter escort."

As they got closer though, he saw the middle plane. It was different from the rest, bigger, with strange indented wings. And before he knew it Wally watched as several little smaller planes plopped of the big bird and flew off towards them.

"It's some kind of carrier plane!" Shouted a horrified Wally

"Ignore it," Kori told him "You two take the bombers, I'll keep the fighters busy."

Dick and Wally followed her advice, she was the SOE agent after all. Dick brought the plane low and struck from the bottom of the first big bomber. Wally attacked from above. There were only two of them, so they had to split the focus of the guns brisling the thing. Dick aimed at the bomb bay doors, if these bastard got through them maybe he could at least jam the damn thing so they couldn't drop their pay load. The ball turret below began to pepper him as he sped closer. Luckily, P-80s were faster than ME-262s, so it wasn't hard to evade the bullets. He just shifted the plane side to side. Still, he didn't want to face the thing again, so he fired a rocket at the turret and watched it explode in a puff of smoke and fire. It took a good portion of the plane's bottom with it. It didn't bother it though; this thing was built like a tank. He would need to try again with another pass. So he dipped down again, as he did one of the parasite jets closed in one him from above, firing its guns full throttle. As Dick felt the hits against the side of the plane he rolled to avoid them.

The next thing he saw on the left part of his cockpit's window was a huge cloud of black smoke, coming from about the same place the jet plane had been. Speeding through it, was Kori's Vampire.

"Told you I had your back." She chirped over the radio

Wally's diving strafe mission had been slightly more successfully. He had strafed the top turret of the bomber and watched the gun drop down. Now he took aim at the bomber's engines. It didn't take long before the things were sputtering and spewing out smoke everywhere.

"You dumb krauts ain't getting cross the Atlantic with me on your tail." He shouted

"Wally you got two bandits on your six evade!" Kori screamed over the radio

Wally looked behind him and saw the jets closing, he rolled the plane out of its dive an led the jets on a chase. They began spraying gunfire all around them as Wally flew for his life.

"Lead them over to me Wally!" Kori ordered

"I would if I could find ya!" Wally shouted over the radio

He suddenly spotted her plane in the cloud and flew up to her. Kori in turn flew towards him. Now came the tricky part, killing the bogeys behind her wingmate without killing him. With careful aim, Kori fired at the speeding jets. Her blasts destroyed the powderkegs engines their pilots were sitting on and both airplanes exploded in a ball of fire.

"Thanks for saving my hide there." Wally told her

"Just remember that when your newspapers start saying you Yanks won this war." Kori half-heartedly joked.

Dick by now was already back under the bomber. Its weakened underbelly was racked enough by the rocket that he could start targeting the fuel tank. He didn't care how well built this plane was, if he could blow that up the whole thing would crash and burn. He figured another rocket was the only thing that could stand a chance, so he took aim at the fuselage once more, lined up where the fuel tank most likely was and fired. He followed up the rocket with a hail of gunfire. The rocket took out the tough hide of the plane, the bullets raked the tank. He didn't really know which one actually got to the fuel first, but it didn't matter. The tail blew off in flash of flames and smoke nonetheless.

The allied pilots watched as the huge plane began to crash and burn in the skies. The tail spun off and fell apart, the rest of the plane dipped down into the clouds soon never to be heard from again. But there was no time to celebrate the accomplishment. There was still one other bomber and at least three more fighters defending it, not to mention the mothership that launched them.

"This is taking too long," Kori complained "we won't get them all before our fuel runs out at this rate."

"Well we can't leave, they'll make it through." Dick told her

Kori thought a bit, and decided their best shot at the second bomber was to aim for it's engines, the weakest part of the plane.

"Concentrate rocket and gunfire on the engines." She told them

"What about the fighters?" Wally asked

"We're gonna see how much they love their mommy." She replied back

Next thing Dick and Wally knew, Kori headed straight for the carrier plane and strafed the cockpit from the side before turning. Out of apparent compassion for their crewmates aboard the mothership, the fighters began to veer off the bombers. That left them open for an attack by Dick and Wally's P-80's. The shooting stars lived up to their name, they came across the side of the aircraft and began blasting out every single engine they could hit. Before long more than half of them were smoking. Yet the machine was still flying high.

"At least we've slowed it down." Wally thought aloud "Wanna try another pass at the engines?"

"No we gotta end this fight now and help Kori." Dick declared "She won't last long against those three little jets."

Dick turned hard right back towards the crippled giant bomber and took aim at the cockpit. The pilots had to be struggling to even hold the plane together with all the damage done to their wings. More importantly the plane was shaking in air, making the defence turrets' job at defending the thing impossible. Dick had one shot at this, he just hoped that the cockpit's window wasn't made out of rocket proof glass.

With one press of the button , Dick fired a rocket at the cockpit of the bomber. It flew across the sky like a freight train, speeding towards the wounded bomber, determined to end whatever diabolical mission it had planned for the United States. Two seconds after it broke through the cockpit's glass, Dick swore he could see the horrified face of the bomber's pilot scream a silent scream as the whole front of the aircraft blew up. The fireball consumed the cockpit and the plane began to spin wildly down to the water below.

"Yeehaw!" shouted Wally over the radio "Have a taste of American armaments ya sausage eating sons of bitches!"

Dick wasn't celebrating she was scanning the skies for Kori's Vampire.

"Kori you still there?" he asked over the radio

No response

"Kori what is your status?"

No response. He just saw the mothership carrier plane veering in their direction.

"Kori the bombers are down, the carrier plane is headed towards us, what is your status!"

That was when she appeared from behind a cloud, the jets behind her shooting wildly.

"Little busy here Dick!" she shouted back

The jets were close behind her, almost feet away. Kori was ducking and weaving in the clouds as best she could but even Dick could see she was getting hit. As the plane's engine started to smoke Kori closed the gap with the huge Carrier ship's cockpit. Dick's eyes widened.

"The hell is she doing!" he said in shocked amazement

At the last second, Kori pulled back on the stick and gritted her teeth, narrowly avoiding the cockpit of the carrier plane by inches, scraping and breaking the glass the bottom of her plane hit. Behind her, the miniature jets looked on in horror as they headed towards the plane they were trying to save. They were going to fast, they hadn't seen the plane as their pursuit had given them tunnel vision and with the G-forces they were raking they couldn't pull up in time.

All three jets smashed into the side of the carrier plane, destroying the cockpit entirely. The lifeless body of the plane drifted out of the sky like a leaf before tumbling to the water below like a sack of rocks. Kori's damaged Vampire joined the P-80s in formation.

"Damn close that was." Kori said panting

"You okay?" Dick asked

"Took a bullet in the arm, but I'll be alright." She said "Let's just get back to base already. Victory drinks are on me."

"No way," Dick told her with laugh "After that stunt, I'm buying the drinks, you deserve it."

"Fair enough Yank." Kori chuckled "Least you could do I suppose."

"What else they got?" Logan asked Ravenna "That strato-bomber or whatever they called it?"

"The Silbervogel," Ravenna corrected him "Designed to hit New York city by a Eugene Sanger. It has enough thrust to get into suborbit, glides thousands of miles and to the United states within a few short hours, then it re-enters the atmosphere and drops it's payload."

Logan was confused by that part.

"But the 390's are going to New York and DC," he mentioned "why would they need another bomber for it?"

"Back up." Ravenna shrugged "Or perhaps, they've changed the target. They could be sending it to London or Moscow for all we know. They'd be able to reach either in no time with a speed and range over 20,000 kilometres.

Logan grumbled to himself, great as if their problems were bad enough. Now they were facing off against a machine they could neither catch nor locate because they weren't sure where it was headed.

"It's launched from a sled like the V-1s." Ravenna continued as she looked over the documents "Seems to be a two stage rocket of sorts-"

"Who cares about the technical specs!" Logan complained suddenly "Is there a way to stop it after it gets off the ground?"

Ravenna seemed slightly hurt by the outburst and looked back at him angrily.

"You agreed to go over things, don't yell at me." She told him harshly

Logan breathed deeply and dropped down into a chair.

"I'm just worried is all." He said sounding exhausted "This damn war is practically over. Everyone back home is probably celebrating, this should be a happy day, a great day. The bad guys lost, we won."

He put his head in his hands and shook them both.

"I should be home." He managed to squeak out "We all should be, but they just keep dragging it out. Why? What's the point? It all just feels so senseless. All of it."

He held his head with one hand now, tugging at his hair as he did.

"I just wanna go home."

Ravenna looked at him sympathetic eye. She got out of her chair and placed an arm around him gently.

"I know," she told him "we all do. I know."

There was a brief silence as the two tried to compose their thoughts. The war was so close to the end, but with a horrible prospect that it would conclude in more death. Enough people had already died. The thought of any more perishing in this inferno was too much to bear.

"They only have one." Ravenna assured him "They haven't tested it. Chances are they won't make it."

Another long silence permeated the room as the words sunk in.

"I hope you're right." Logan responded.

Somewhere near Warsaw, Poland...

A lone refugee wandered across the scorched fields of Poland. He was almost back to his home in Warsaw that he had fled years before. He knew of the brutal regime of Stalin, but he believed it was preferable to Nazi rule. He spent the war trying to stay ahead of the Germans, now going back he wondered if there was anything left for him back home, now that it was more than likely destroyed.

He clutched at the only real solace he had for all these long years, a dirty copy of "Justice Society of America." He had received it from his brother who lived in America, figuring he'd like it. Besides his clothes and sack of food it was the only possession he had left. The story he had re-read a hundred times, but to see heroes fighting injustice and evil made him hope for a better future, that was still some good in the world. After witnessing the bombing of his hometown, the furious aftermath of the Eastern Front and now what remained of his once beautiful country, it was the only thing he had left to hold onto. In a few short years everything he knew had vanished.

He supposed he should be happy, he was still alive. Other people, like the ones in what was left of that town he passed by a day ago, had lost more than him. He wondered at times if maybe he should've taken his brother up on his offer to relocate the whole family to the USA, when the storm clouds first gathered in '39. Even his father, stubborn old timer, decided it was better than waiting for the Nazis to roll in. He didn't predict the Communists rolling in as well to take up a temporary half of the nation, but still he was right.

He stayed because he couldn't think of giving up his life here. Cruel joke now, not much of a life left. He could see the smoking ruins of Warsaw in the distance. Chances were his house was gone. He remembered, how his brother argued with him about staying in Poland, about risking his life and such. He had said he prided himself on having control of his destiny and he wasn't going to let fears of Germans make him leave his home. He was starting up his bookstore, he was going to make a modest living for once, how could he give that up? When the Nazis invaded though, he lost that control over his life. No other choice open to him but to run.

He decided by now he'd gather what he could and leave Poland. Nothing for him here now, best join his brother in America. Rebuild their lives there.

As he contemplated this he heard a strange sound, whistling through the sky. It was loud, screeching, it sounded like a thousand artillery shells coming down at once. But he hadn't heard any guns fire. Besides the Germans had retreated long ago, what was there to fire at?

He looked up in the sky and saw a fiery light coming down. He looked closer at it, it was some kind of ship! A rocket of some sorts! He could see pieces of the machine falling off as it headed to the ground. As it got closer to the ground he saw smoke coming out of the rear of the machine and fire spurting out around it.

In a spectacular flash of fire it slammed into the ground a few hundred yards away from him in some farmer's field. The blast blinded him for a moment, the shock wave knocked him to the ground. As he staggered to his feet he saw the burning wreckage of the machine and a billow of smoke fading up into the sky.

Curiosity took over and he started running towards the machine to see what it was. He didn't get far. Within a hundred meters of the crash, a large truck pulled up in front of him. He saw the giant red star on the side. Russian soldiers clambered out and started waving him off. He only spoke a little Russian, but a few shouted out in clear Polish.

"You saw nothing! Leave!"

He knew better than to argue with men holding guns. So he walked off and watched as other Russian military vehicles started to converge on the site. Tanks, APCs, even a few official looking vehicles. Probably NKVD.

He returned to walking towards Warsaw, putting the crashed machine out of his mind. He was just lucky the Russians didn't shoot him to keep him quiet about it. Whatever it was, he didn't care. It was just another machine of war no doubt, he'd seen enough of those to last a life time.

Logan and Ravenna got the message a few hours later. A Russian Armoured infantry division had located the Suborbital bomber. It had crash landed in Poland, something had gone wrong with the machine's take off. More than likely the separation system for stage two had malfunctioned as they had only located the front part of the ship. The bomb inside had not been armed and therefore did not explode.

Logan didn't seem to worry much about Russians discovering an atom bomb in the wreckage. Maybe at one time he would've, but right now he was just happy the Germans had faulty machinery for their suborbital bomber.

"Guess that's what happens when you stretch your economy to the limit." Logan said with a shrugging sigh of relief. "Maybe if they made less Rattes they could've gotten more funding and made it actually fly. Well we'll never know, good enough for me I say."

Ravenna brought him back to reality.

"Let's not celebrate yet." She warned "There's still one more delivery system for that bomb they have and it's not going to be easy locating a submarine."

"Just had to kill the good mood I was in didn't ya?" Logan asked

He hated thinking about the last weapon. A submarine towed missile, one that could be set up once the u-boat surfaced. Then it could fire before ducking beneath the waves. It carried a V2 missile, modified to fit into a barge that was towed behind the sub until it got up to the surface. The barge would then straighten up like a buoy, open its hatch and, with the help of a U-boat officer, fire at the command of U-boat. They could be gone just as quickly as they launched it, the enemy never catching the ship that did it in the vast Atlantic Ocean.

The barge was more complicated then it sounded, it was like a miniature rocket pad at sea, with an intricate exhaust system to help the rocket fire. With an atomic payload wherever the rocket landed would be obliterated and if the blast didn't kill ya, the radiation no doubt would.

"V2 rockets have been used to kill Brits back in England." Logan noted "Ya think they might still decide to-"

"They could redirect it." Ravenna said shaking her head "London has been bombed plenty of times. What the Nazis really want is to attack American Soil. Some of the back-up plans state that if one of the American targets doesn't get hit, whatever remaining forces will be redirected to destroy either New York or Washington."

"They must know by now that the 390s didn't make it." Logan added

"Which means we could have a u-boat on its way to Manhattan or DC as we speak." Ravenna responded "We should alert command, have them get every coast guard unit in the area ready, they'll have at least a day, maybe 2, before the U-Boat gets there, they can be ready for it."

Logan wasn't so sure.

"Stopping that sub before it launches its payload isn't going to be easy, especially if it surfaces."

Somewhere in the North Atlantic, Mid-Morning Next day...

The HMS Habbakuk was sailing at its regular slow pace through the icy waters of the North Atlantic. Many of its members were disappointed to be told the war was over and they were all to be sent home soon. It was a disappointing and yet happy bit of news, disappointing in that they didn't get to make a contribution, happy that they could all go home to their families soon. Most of the crew just wanted to go home and never speak about this embarrassing little experiment again. A giant iceberg aircraft carrier that didn't even get into combat was no way to tell your kids how you spent the war.

They'd never get back home with the old girl, so they were gonna head for the nearest Allied Airbase in Greenland and get flown home. But before that there was one last duty to perform, a final patrol. Roy Harper would be one of those pilots. It was ironic how a kid who was known by the nickname "Speedy" for being fast on the track and fast with a bow and arrow had been stuck on such a plodding vessel, but at least it would be over soon. So he took off in his Corsair airplane and went on his patrol. He doubted he'd find anything, but at least he would have time to relax and think a bit about his military career.

"Commission ends next month." He reckoned in his thoughts as he flew off the deck "Maybe I can get reassigned to one of them Carriers in the Pacific and fight the Japs? Nah, who am I kidding, I'll never get there in time. Even with Tojo fighting so hard. So much for grand adventure and daring do, those bastards at the recruitment office lied big time. This was nothing like the newsreels."

No Nazis, no wunderweapons, no kills, it was such a boring experience. The captain of the ship took pride in the biggest Carrier known to man, but very few people on board shared his enthusiasm. He remembered when those Secret Agent types from the OSS, one of them a Ruskie, had showed up onboard. That was the most exciting day they ever experienced and he didn't even get a good look at them. Although the Commie looked kinda hot he supposed.

Roy looked at his flight pattern, he was halfway done. He just needed to circle back and land now. Or would've if he didn't spot something below, a huge shadowy presence in the water. He watched as a conning tower rose up from the water and massive submarine with two huge guns appeared.

"Holy crap." He thought

He had heard about this over the wire, it was some kind of German weapon that had attacked the British Coastline weeks back. What was it doing here? He looked towards the back of the sub as well and saw it was towing something, looked like a torpedo shaped barge. He didn't know what it was but he was more concerned with the sub. This was his chance for some action! He cued up the radio.

"All wings, all wings!" he called "This is Harper! Have spotted German Mega-Sub of sorts at coordinates two alpha niner zero! I need immediate back up!"

"Copy that Harper," the radio called back "All wings in your immediate area are converging on your position. We should be there in ten minutes."

"Ten minutes! They're gonna be back underwater in two!" he screeched

"Just sit tight Harper," the radio called "we'll-"

"No, I'm not letting these Krauts get away! I'm going in!"

Harper didn't listen to the radio after that, he could hear angry shouting telling him to stand down, but he was already diving towards the enemy sub.

The U-Cruiser captain was anxious. Every second they stayed on the surface was another second they risked discovery. They were closing the gap towards precise assured bombing distance with London when they got a coded message direct from Deathstroke himself. They were to veer off and head towards the States. They were now supposed to bomb Washington and then head to New York to level Manhattan to dust with its guns. The crew had long known that service on this ship was essentially a suicide mission, that they'd eventually be killed. They knew the risks, they accepted them, but they hated the waiting, the risk of being caught.

Damn Deathstroke. Why couldn't he stick to the plan? Who cares if America remained unscathed? They would've had the last laugh against the Tommies. Wasn't that enough?

He hoped they would get back underway soon. That was when the explosions rocked the side of the U-Cruiser. Everyone was thrown to their feet as steam exploded from the pipes and water started leaking in.

"Damage report!" the captain ordered

"They hit the ballast tanks! We can't submerge!" shouted a sailor

"Fix them!" the Captain ordered "Fix them now!"

Harper had scored a lucky hit, the U-Cruiser was listing to one side from the rocket attack.

"Made in the US of A ya Sausage eating assholes!" he screamed "Why don't ya have another!"

He aimed the corsair down towards the Conning tower and dropped his bomb dead center at it, hoping to cause as much damage as possible. A plume of smoke erupted from the sub as the corsair pulled back up to avoid slamming into the water

"Woohoo! Eat it Jerry!"

The young pilot's pent up adrenaline was now coursing through his veins. All those years cooped up on a damn iceberg carrier, waiting and hoping for this chance, now he had it. He was fighting Germans! At long last! He could tell people he actually FOUGHT in World War Two.

Germans began rushing out through the smoking conning tower and other hatches to the deck. Suddenly the ship became alive with AA fire. They managed to survive the bomb and rockets, now they were trying to stop the American and his damn airplane before it was too late. They needed to protect their ship, if only for a bit longer.

Harper doubled back, he needed to kill those guns. US Navy Avengers would no doubt be showing up to sink this thing with Torpedoes. He needed to rip those AA guns apart for them. With careful percision he placed his crosshairs over where he saw the AA gun tracers coming from. Pieces of his plans started being broken off by the incoming fire, but he was in tunnel vision now, he only saw the target not the bullet hole in his windshield.

"Smile ya sons of bitches!"

The Corsair opened up with a stream of gun fire followed by rockets that crept up the deck of the mighty German War Sub and collided into the AA guns. He watched them exploded in two giant fireballs as the ammunition for the guns was hit by the rockets. The AA guns were warped and twisted by the barrage and their furious stream of fire died with their operators. Harper pulled up as the submarine's conning tower came closer. He managed to miss it by a hair as his plane's belly scratched the German metal. He looked back at the U-Cruiser, now smoking and on fire.

"Whoa," he finally said in bewilderment "what a rush."

Suddenly the radio chirped.

"This is Avenger Wing Bravo-7," it called "we are approaching the giant sub now. We're low and slow, releasing fish."

Roy looked to his left and saw the Avengers as they closed in. Their torpedoes dropped from their bellies and streamed through the water towards the crippled U-Cruiser. Plumes of water and smoke erupted from the ship's sides slowly after and before long the whole thing capsized. The U-Cruiser was dead, and Roy had played a part in its destruction, keeping it stuck on the surface while the other flyboys closed in. This would be something to tell his mom about when he got home. Suddenly, the military life felt just like the newsreels.

He looked out over the water as he passed the sub once more and noticed the barge it was towing. As the mighty ship sunk it took it down with it.

"Whatever was in there is useless to the Kauts now." He laughed

Deep beneath the Atlantic waves the U-Cruiser's lifeless form sunk towards the Atlantic floor. All its hands and crew went with it save for a few lucky AA gun operators that had been thrown off the side from the explosions and survived. Along with the U-Cruiser sank its cargo, the torpedo shaped barge, along with its deadly cargo. The Americans who sunk it not realising that they had spared the US from a deadly and horrific attack on its soil.

The V2 within the barge would never see its fateful mission carried out.

12 hours later in Berlin, Logan and Ravenna got the good news as a correspondent rushed into their little command post, an American Desk jockey with a wide grin on his face.

"Message from the OSS sirs!" he said saluting and passing a paper to Logan "Pilots from the Habbakuk sunk the German U-Cruiser that attacked England in the North Atlantic while on patrol. They report they saw it towing a strange torpedo like barge behind them."

Logan read over the report quickly and quickly jumped up in elation.

"Hell yeah!" he shouted "We got'em!"

Ravenna joined in, grabbing the paper and reading it over. She cheered along with Logan as the two hugged one another and jumped up and down in joy. The American correspondent nearby just kept looking on in awe, feeling was a bit of a third wheel here.

"We kicked their Kraut asses!" Logan cried as he pulled back and looked at Ravenna.

"The Fascists have lost! It truly is over at last!" she screeched in delight.

They interrupted by a sudden cough from the correspondent.

"If I'm disturbing you two, I'll just... go then." He said shakily

The two calmed down as he left and parted their joyous little hug.

"Well I guess business is finally settled." He reasoned "No nukes on American or Russian soil."

"Deathstroke is still out there though." Ravenna said disgruntled

Logan put a hand on the young woman's shoulder.

"We'll get him," Logan assured her "you'll see. I can have the OSS extend your stay here or something."

"And after that?" she asked

Logan shrugged, seeming rather disappointed.

"I guess we part ways." He admitted

Ravenna lowered her head a bit more, before looking back Logan.

"Pity," she said "I was just starting to get use to you."

Logan returned a look at her, one of bemusement.

"Starting? You mean you weren't always charmed by my American good looks?" he asked with a smile

She laughed a bit along with him, but it didn't last. Eventually it petered out into silence.

"It's been fun getting to know you these past few months." She told him "Working with you has certainly been an interesting and eye opening experience."

Logan nodded in agreement.

"Maybe in another time," he began in response "if we met earlier-"

"Don't start with ifs." Ravenna interrupted him

The two stood there in silence for the longest time before Ravenna started for the door. It wasn't fair, not to them, but they couldn't do much about it. Their commitments were over with one another, the mission done. They had their own places to be now, other commitments to return to. No matter how much they wished it were different, no matter how much their opinions of one another had changed in these past few months there wasn't anything they could do.

That's when the silence was broken by an earth shattering boom. A shockwave shook the building and Ravenna fell back into Logan's arms as he caught her.

"The hell was that?" He screamed as he got her to her feet

They rushed to a nearby window and looked out over the city. They saw a cloud, not a mushroom one, but one that was trailing into the air. Logan got out his binoculars, thinking it was a damn Rocket headed for them all, armed with a nuke. But no, when he looked into the lens, what stared back at him was an image straight out of a science fiction short at the matinee. Some kind of ship, with rocket thrusters, bursting straight into the sky... with a Swastika painted on the side.

This wasn't over, not yet.

Next time: The dramatic conclusion as the last weapon of this saga is revealed and Azula and the Teen Titans come to a head at last! Be there! Hopefully it won't take another half a year to come out.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

1945: A Third Reich Odyssey

So yeah, last chapter we had a Nazi Spaceship... you may think this is starting to get ridiculous. I'd be inclined to agree, if it wasn't partially true. Ya see the Nazis did indeed have Space Aspirations. After all, half of NASA's engineers were former Nazis in the early days. Don't tell me none of you have heard of Von Braun?

Raven: Must you continue to yap about your stupid useless knowledge of weapons and technology that never got off the idea board? We're in the middle of a crisis!

Your petty problems about dealing with a villain from a superior cartoon series is none of my concern, I'm really behind on getting this damn story done. Hell I've moved on to a dozen fandoms since this crap started!

Raven: Don't tell me you agree with that crazy bitch that we're obsolete!

Hey I still like you guys! But if given the choice between a Teen Titans all day marathon or Avatar I'd go with Avatar. I'm not going to lie here, if anything I'm honest.

Raven: That's not fair! They had bigger production values! You expect us to compete with that? This is because of that crap cliff-hanger ending isn't it?

Please, if those two things were the only problems I'd hardly be speaking ill of you now. Most of my issues actually refer to bird brain number one, but it's best not to speak ill of the dead.

Starfire: He's not dead! He is in shock!

Robin: I'm a disgrace to my training! (Sucking on thumb)

He might as well be dead. Look you're superheroes, deal with her. You fought off an evil demon by yourselves... well Raven went Deus Ex Machina on him, but still ya beat him. Handle it yourselves.

Starfire: Please General Rage! As your sister-in law please help us! In the name of all that is charitable and good!

I married your evil sister! Who tried to frame you! Why would I care about goodness? I'm practically Chaotic Neutral! I have no moral compass! That's my shtick! I'm out for number one!

Raven: Then at least do it for extended family members. Even Blackfire probably doesn't want to see her sister die.

You really don't know my wife Raven, don't assume things.

Raven: Fine, but need I remind you Beast Boy is still under your contract, which specifically states that you are bound to give him several health benefits as a member of your actor's roster as cited by the animated actors' guild, Fanfiction Chapter.

The hell? That's bullshit. I didn't write that down! Even if I did it certainly doesn't extend to all of you or a Firebender trying to kill him!

Raven: It's in the fine print! (Holds up contract) "As per sanctioned by the contractual employer party, the signee along with his immediate friends and family members shall be entitled to special legal health benefits as required by fanfic actor union laws, including, but not limited to, protecting them from potential harm from other characters from different fandoms outside the actual story's parameters or narrative guidelines. (Example: Evil Insane as shit Firebender princesses)"

Let me see that! ... Hmm ... Ohh... I see... Son of a gun it's all there. Fair enough, curse the unions. Fine, if I at least TRY to save your asses if only to avoid a lawsuit will you all fucking leave me alone and let me finish my damn story and the introduction to the last awesome weapon?

Raven: Deal!

Fine, I'll get someone on the phone quick. Meantime, the Nazi Space Program, what the fuck was it? Well let me put it this way, all the weapons this story has talked about so far were pretty feasible, impractical, but feasible if Hitler decided not to listen to Speer. It's too bad because any of those weapons if put into full production runs would've bankrupted Germany and sped up its defeat. Speer didn't even NEED to convince Hitler otherwise about the space program because that idea would never have gotten off the ground during Wartime and even a crazy motherfucker like Hitler woulda known that. During the war it was the pipe dream of Nazi Rocket scientists and their boss Werhner Von Braun, the father of modern rocketry. It was something they planned to do later once they finished taking over the world and crap. You know how it is, they you can only do so much.

Raven: Is that your excuse for the delays on this fanfic?

Shut up! I said I'd help if you didn't interrupt! Now, I don't think I need to explain why it was feasibly impossible to have a full on space program running during wartime. The production capabilities of Nazi Germany were focused on other things, anything involving space stations and shuttle craft like Braun was thinking up in his spare time would've diverted valuable resources and required the Allies to stop bombing their asses! They had a world to conquer, they'd worry about space and conquering Mars later. So, to say the least, the Nazi Space Program was something for the alternate history books. The scary as fuck, horrifying as hell, Alternate History books that far too many people seem to regurgitate ad verbatim.

Seriously guys, you're not gonna make the Nazis win the war that damn easy!

(Warp steps through a portal)

Warp: Ah I've just stolen some important Russian Nuclear weapons plans from 1967 and gave them to Iran in 1981! Now to watch the crazy ass chaos unfold as-

(Sees Swastika flying over White House)

Warp: The hell! How did that happen! I never even went near that time period! (Beat) This time.

But for the sake of argument let's say that somehow, through a miraculous coincidence of having more money than is feasible and more resources than any one nation can hold onto during a time of crisis, let's say the Nazis DID have a space program. Well, Von Braun's plans for it were in some cases good, because they helped get the Americans to the moon and in other cases stupid because of some techno mumbo jumbo you'd no doubt all be bored with. So I'll stick to the basics of space travel, leaving the planet, staying off planet and coming back.

How do the Nazis leave earth? With an A9-12 rocket, Braun's design to get off world. The basic gist of this thing is that was a lot like the rockets they used later on to get the Astronauts into orbit during the 50's. At the time Braun underestimated the strain his rocket would undergo to get back to earth, which it could... it just would more than likely melt in the atmosphere. He'd need to reconfigure the Rocket's make up but it could escape the earth. Its thrust systems would've been incredibly complicated for the time. If you have any passing interest in rocketry, or you're Tom Hanks, you probably know what it takes to get a rocket out into space, so I won't go into the boring details. Let's just say that it would've bene a lot and if the technology of the day not being as advanced as in the sixties they probably would've had to construct the damn things on the platforms. After separating from the first two stages of the craft the vehicle would become a bit like a shuttle if you will in its final stage. This would be what was used for re-entry, like I said the components required to make it usable would've been rare but available.

So the A9, kinda works, what doesn't is the Nazi Space Station it was suppose to help build. Von Braun's space station was essentially a giant wheel, much like the one from the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey. Difference, no psychotic AI and it wouldn't really have worked all too well. The design was basically only one wheel, making its orbit unstable. Von Braun would've needed to correct this problem with another wheel to balance out. Meaning more trips to bring up the materials needed, more resources wasted and with the potential for quite a few failures down the road to a successful launch of an A9 rocket, which would no doubt explode quite a number of times before it worked right being new technology and all, more dead pilots. The Station never would've reached completion and more than likely crash into war scarred Europe before it ever did.

Starfire: Knowing this story's progression so far, does this station have weapons?

I thought I told you no talking!

Starfire: I am bored, and while I do love Robin, his frightened and whinny antics at this time are tiresome.

Robin: I miss my Bat Dad!

Fine! Yes, the Station probably would've had weapons... but that retarded ass Mirror idea people keep suggesting it as is stupid. More than likely they would've just shot off A9 rockets back at earth loaded with explosives. Been hella inaccurate, but hey worth a shot right?

Space Nazi: Death from above! Death from Above!

(Rocket is launched, blows up German camp in Normandy)

Space Nazi: Fuck, I knew I was off by a few hundred miles.

Now if you gave the Nazis, say, a nuclear bomb...

Raven: Save it for your story, wrap it up already Azula's coming!

Fine, so in short, Von Braun's ideas would eventually help the Americans win the space race. However a Nazi Space Program at the time he was dreaming this crap up... not bloody likely. Alright, I'll just make a quick call and you'll have your back up.

Starfire: I do hope he actually doesn't back out and screw us over. Are you sure fear of earth lawyers shall be enough to deter him?

Raven: That depends if Azula scares him more, it will be a close call.

Mumbo Jumbo: Uh guys... remember that Ratte thing from chapter 2? I think it's outside.

(Ratte rolls up to trailer pointing it's huge frickkin turret at the heroes)

Starfire: That seems overkilling does it not?

Raven: Well come on, we might as well go face the bitch. Beast Boy you coming?

Beast Boy: Give me a minute, (Tapes icepack to head) Okay ready.

Raven: Alright, the rest of you villains stay here and make sure Robin doesn't try and cut his wrists. If we come back and either him or Cyborg are dead we're throwing you to Azula.

Gizmo: Can we at least play around with Cyborg's language settings and force him to speak Spanish?

Raven: No.

Gizmo: Awwwwwww, nuts.

(Raven, Star and Beast Boy exit to see Azula standing atop the Ratte in full German Army regalia)

Azula: Well Titans I gotta say chasing you around like this reminds me of the season 2 days on my own show, but it's gotten old fast. So give me back my workforce already so I can further build up my army of evil and come back later to conquer you.

Raven: How is that a better deal? Either way we get screwed.

Azula: Hey, it's way better than what I offer most of my enemies. Let's be practical here, I have a whole army of tanks and war weapons at my command. There's only three of you left standing and you're hardly heavy hitters.

Raven: I was the most accomplished and powerful character on the show! I had black friggin magic!

Azula: Really? Because you couldn't even beat up a Godzilla knock off in that TV movie. Let's be honest here, you were all downgraded considerably in your show whenever Robin was around. For some reason he became more capable than half of you simply by existing on screen with you.

Beast Boy: Well he was trained by Batman...

Azula: Yes, just what a superhero series needs, a poor-man's Bat-Clone. That certainly drives up the viewership. Fact remains compared to him you were always shown as just weaker, even though he had no powers. My series didn't need to resort to such lame Batman-copy tricks to sell the strengths and weaknesses of its characters.

Raven: I'm still the most powerful one here! And Star and BB have super strength and the forces of the animal kingdom at their commands respectively.

Azula: And I've beaten benders time and time again who should've trounced me in seconds, one time when I didn't even have firebending to back me up! I almost killed the Avatar!

Beast Boy: With a lucky sucker punch.

Azula: I'm a villain, it's what I do! If I can take down the one bender that can use all four elements at his command you three are hardly a challenge. My series has a bigger fanbase than yours ever did, more insane shippers than any one of your team can muster together and I myself am more popular than you three combined! Yet my show never got the respect from Nickelodeon that Cartoon Network gave you in five seasons of bullshit and ridiculous source material rapping. (Pulls out comic book) I read Judas Contract! Your show turned an awesome villain into a lame-ass tortured soul! You ruined the storyline you idiots! Terra could've been a wonderful role model for sadists everywhere and you pissed on it!

Starfire: That is what this is all about?

Raven: You're a fan of Terra from the comic books because she's evil and you hate how we portrayed her as sympathetic?

Azula: No you idiots! Aren't you listening? Your show is inferior to mine in every conceivable way yet you got more respect from your network nonetheless. Promotions, toys, marathons, primetime schedules and what do I get? Nickelodeon screws around with our schedule to the point people think we're cancelled, only announces we won best Nick series in a tickertape scroll during the Nickelodeon awards, runs a billion Spongebob marathons for half a year while putting my show on hiatus, TWICE, and to top it all off makes a shitty live-action movie! Is that fair?

Beast Boy: Well they run your show in syndication on Nicktoons and had a lot of marathons of it recently.

Azula: Too little too late. Princess Azula will not allow herself to be treated like a third rate cartoon character! I'm going to make every last one of you my animated bitches if it's the last thing I do!

(Ratte's Naval Cannon takes aim at the heroes as Raven covers them in a protective shield and the cannon fires. The explosion absorbs the impact and the heroes all fly up to face Azula, Beast Boy turning into a pteradactly)

Raven: Gonna pull that silly looking rocket feet trick of yours?

Azula: Ha! I don't need to fly and look like a Dragonball Z villain like my father to beat you idiots! This thing has Anti-Air weapons remember?

Starfire: We were not exactly paying attention during those sections of the story, no one was.

Azula: Well, it's final exam day bitch! Shoulda studied! FIRE!

(Fire Nation soldiers on the Anti-Air guns shoot up at the heroes. Titans scatter, Starfire starts slinging starbolts at Azula, who dodges them before shooting fireballs at the alien princess. Suddenly Azula it picked up from the ground By Raven's powers and thrown into BB's talons)

Azula: Oh no, the comic relief has captured me. What shall I do?

(Azula flips herself out of BB's talons and onto his back, holding fire daggers to his throat)

Azula: Stand back or your prehistoric friend here becomes extinct!

Raven: Let him go!

Azula: And fall to my doom? Do I look stupid? I want this thing to take me ground side.

Raven: Or what you'll burn him alive? You'll go splat anyway.

Azula: Point taken. Green one, take me down or your goth girlfriend gets a nasty sunburn!

(Azula uses her foot to kick out fireballs at Raven, Beast Boy freaks for a second as Raven blocks the attack. Suddenly a purple streak flies out of the sky, grabs Azula off Beast Boy's back and tackles her into the Ratte's turret before zooming off. Azula is unhurt however and gets back up)

Azula: Who dares interrupt me when I'm holding hostages?

(Blackfire floats up next to the turret)

Blackfire: That would be me. As much as I love seeing my sister and her friends get pummelled you're interfering with my hubby's story.

Starfire: Sister! You came to our aid! How joyous!

Blackfire: Shut it whore!

Azula: Ahh, the poor discarded older sibling of the dumb red head alien. As if this day wasn't already loaded with mediocre characters, I have to get the rejected/exiled princess who couldn't even fly until she was-

Blackfire: Yeah that monologue shit doesn't work on me, I could seriously care less what your opinion is of me. I'm already awesome and superior and I know it, I don't register attempts to deride me.

Azula: Crap, a fellow megalomaniac, wasn't counting on that.

Blackfire: Sucks to be you. (Fires up starbolts) So we gonna do this already? Rage promised me we'd do the Naughty Backwards Jackalope tonight and I have to get out the straps and antlers.

Azula: Oh a sex joke, hilarious. Ha ha, is that all you do in this fanfic series?

Blackfire: Hey you're one to talk Mrs. Suggestively Incestously. Hell you never get any period! I've read Mai's Blog you know, I'm a subscriber!

Azula: Oh boy, I bet you're gonna to start talking about how I apparently have some inferiority complex because my mommy loved Zuko best huh? Mai always goes on about that crap. I'm the prodigy, not him! I deserve to be treated better! He's an idiot and he sucks at bending!

Blackfire: Actually I didn't hear about that, still come on. You think that's bad, how about getting knocked down from your rightful position as heir to the throne because the dumb bitch up there can fly earlier! Well screw her, I developed better assets in other areas! Plus it didn't take me a five season run to get half of earth customs straight!

Starfire: Sister that hurts! You know I was never good at foreign cultures in school!

Blackfire: I said shut up! (Look back to Azula) See what I have to deal with? She has no tact, whatsoever and I'm always rushing in nowadays to save her ass because my husband sorta employs her.

Azula: HA! She's nothing like Zuko, the little shit is an annoying imbecile and total buzzkill. "Azula, stop punching that puppy's face in! Stop setting that shop on fire! Stop beating me with that lead pipe! Stop hovering over me with that butcher's knife while I sleep!" Who does he think he is? My mom? Might as well be.

Blackfire: Hey Star always keeps trying that with me too now that I think about it. Fucking bitch always on my case about everything. Nothing I do is good in her eyes. I gas protestors, I'm a tyrant, I kill a drug dealer, I'm a vigilante murderer, I conquer a solar system, I'm a warlord and invader to boot. Geez.

Azula: Doesn't he understand that I can't do wrong? I'm a Princess for Agni's sake! People are supposed to praise me or die! It's expected, nay demanded, that these people just accept that. If I want to torch their village and then have my soldiers piss out the charred ashes they're suppose to say "We're so honoured that you spared our lives." Is that so much to ask for?

Blackfire: Our siblings just don't get us at all. We have needs, needs that demand others grovel at our feet and bow to our every whim. It's not our fault we were born better than everyone! We're royalty!

Azula: Indeed we are. And after this entire fight with you is over, I'm not letting anyone else stop my designs to take over the entire animated universe and eventually dance upon the grave of Spongebob!

(Suddenly, something clicks inside Blackfire's brain and the Tamaranian Exile suddenly has a big flashy grin on her face)

Blackfire: Oh my Xaul, I just realised... you're like the sister I always wanted!

(Suddenly Blackfire hugs Azula, who is taken completely aback by all this.)

Azula: The hell? What's happening? Why are you hugging me? You're not Ty Lee! Only Ty Lee hugs me and I hate it! Ah! Oh god! The love! The unconditional love, it burns!

(Titans look on confused)

Starfire: What is going on?

Raven: I think it's female bonding.

(Azula breaks free of Blackfire and begins to run from her)

Azula: Get away from me you alien freak!

Blackfire: But I have so many sisterly things to catch up on! Combing hair! Playing house! Murdering dissidents and hanging their battered corpses in the town square for all to see!

Raven: Very disturbing female bonding. Well, she's not gonna help us. Star.

(Starfire launches a huge starbolt at the Ratte, knocking both Blackfire and Azula off it and onto the lower levels of the giant tank)

Raven: Come on, we gotta beat her and stop this army of hers before her invasion plans get off the ground.

(Azula begins slinging fire at Blackfire, trying to keep her away)

Blackfire: Oh an actual sparring match! You're honestly trying to hurt me too, just how I always wanted! This is the best day ever!

(Blackfire slams into Azula and tries to hit her with a starbolt, but the Fire Princess ducks out of the way and sends a fire kick at Blackfire's feet. She topples and Azula runs to get back ontop of the tank. But Raven cuts her off as she climbs the ladder)

Raven: Eat black magic bitch!

(Raven tries to send a wave of dark magic down at Azula, but she lets go of one side of the ladder and throws herself the other way, avoiding the attack. She then uses a fire whip to wrap around Raven's leg, burning her, and forcing her back as Azula jumps up the ladder tries to slash her with a fire swipe. That is when beast Boy comes out of nowhere and headbutts Azula off the Ladder. She lands gracefully on the front tread and runs forward as Starfire starts pelting the tank with starbolts. Azula turns back for a split second and throws a fireball at Starfire that explodes in her face and sencds her toppling to the ground.)

Azula: You imbeciles can't beat me! I'm Princess Azula! I'm the greatest animated villain ever!

(Beast Boy lands on the Ratte and turns back into self)

Beast Boy: What about the Joker?

(Azula throws several flame waves at Beast Boy, as the kid turns into a turtle and hides in his shell. Raven sends a blast of dark energy that hits Azula in the shoulder, allowing Beast Boy to turn into a Rhino and charge at Azula. Who leads him on a chase across the tank before he smashes his head into the AA gun platform as Azula flips up onto the top of it.)

Azula: Ha! Oldest trick in the book!

(Raven lands on the second AA gun)

Raven: Alright, enough playing around, this time I kick your ass.

(Before Raven can do so, Blackfire explodes through the Anti-Air gun Azula is standing onto to hug her. Blackfire keeps flying with her.)

Blackfire: Adopted Sister! So glad I found you! Wanna blow up an moon or two and cause the tides on their respective planets to go crazy?

(Azula kicks Blackfire in the shin and forces her to let go. She lands on-top of the tank, where Raven is waiting with Starfire and Beast Boy)

Raven: You can't beat all four of us Azula, you're outmatched!

Azula: Bullshit! I took on far superior fighters than you tons of times and won!

Starfire: Did you not run away when you severely outnumbered in that one episode?

Azula: Well I'm not outnumbered, I have an army of loyal followers at my side! Behold!

(Several experimental German jets and rocket planes fly out of the sky and begin trying to strafe the Titans. Azula starts to laugh, but then Blackfire starts blowing up the airplanes)

Blackfire: You brought me stuff to destroy! You're the best sister ever!

Azula: Oh for the love Agni! She's worse than Ty Lee!

Raven: Starfire, Beast Boy, help Blackfire out with the planes! I'll handle Princess BBQ here.

Beast Boy: But Rae she's a superior villain to every single bad guy in our rogue's gallery! You can't take her on alone!

Raven: Hey I killed my evil devil father.

BB: That was a Deus Ex Machina! You'll get hurt! I can't let that happen!

Raven: I'll be fine, there's no time to argue, just go.

(Beast Boy reluctantly leaves her side to help Star and Blackfire, Azula snickers.)

Azula: Touching, reminds me of the Avatar and his barbarian water tribe girlfriend.

Raven: I'm gonna end you so hard.

Azula: Chances are you're gonna die a grisly charbroiled death. But I'll let your boyfriend know you fought valiantly how's that?

(Raven rushes in screaming as her hand glows black, Azula forms a huge fireball in her hand and the two collide creating a huge explosion. Control Freak watches on from the house.)

Control Freak: Oh man they're getting clobbered. I don't think they're gonna win.

Gizmo: But those kludge heads always win!

Control Freak: Yeah, against us! Let's face it, we're not much of a challenge.

Billy Numerous: Billy ain't much of a fighter when ya think about it. Billy just has numbers on his side.

Billy 2: But Billy still loves himself, cause Billy is awesome, right Billy?

Billy Numerous: Oh shut it Billy, Billy is too depressed.

Mammoth: I guess we're not exactly very powerful when you think about it. I mean, Kid Flash totally beat all five of our bad guy team by himself.

See-More: And he stole my girl to boot.

Brother Blood: I guess my evil plan to make me a robo-clone based on Cyborg's tech and fuck with him wasn't thought out too well. Personally I didn't really get why I didn't use my resources to just totally kill Teen Titans Classic instead of focusing on only one of their members and his brand new spanking team of Titans East. Course I wasn't planning on that whole spirit bullshit happening and-

Mumbo Jumbo: Yeah, yeah, your plans sucked. What about me? I only got two show appearances, I got a musical number, I got so close to winning and then I lose again and vanish completely. I could've been a recurring villain too! I had a bit of a rivalry with Raven!

Mad Mod: Oie, speak for yourselves lads. My plans were awesome, ingenious, well thought out and- Oh who am I kidding. That stupid plan to change American history made no sense, I mean I spend hours warping reality and crap to the point not even I know how I'm doing everything and I get my ass handed to me easily. Toy soldiers and airplanes, an oil rig school, what was I thinkin'?

Johnny Rancid: I only got one episode, and I was barely in it.

Private Hive: I barely appeared at all. I wasn't even the leader. You'd think being in the Hive Five and calling yerself Private Hive would give you some position of authority but no! Hell Why'd I call myself Private? That's like the lowest position in the military!

Mumbo Jumbo: I think it's a play on words, Private Eye, Private Hive?

Private Hive: Oh hilarious! That makes me feel so much better, sir. I'm a pun! Lucky me!

Trident: I only lasted one season and was never mentioned again until the finale, I didn't even get lines!

Dr. Light: I'm a joke who fails at every undertaking and gets tentacle raped by Raven in my first appearance! I suck! My comic book counterpart is a better villain than me! And he's a rapist!

Control Freak: Let's face it guys, we were all Villains of the Week, filler for the season's real big plots involving Slade and Trigon.

Brother Blood: My whole season could be classified as filler.

Control Freak: And then we downgraded to cannon fodder in season five! The Titans have been fighting us and beating us cause we're easy. Azula's right, we suck as bad guys.

Villains: Yeah.

Control Freak: The Titans are out there kicking ass and taking names trying to protect our sorry asses, while we sit here and cower.

Billy: But what can we do? We blow and suck at the same time!

Control Freak: I say if we're going down we should go down like the villains we were supposed to be! By never saying die and denying we can be beaten until our heads are squished in or we fall off a real tall building or ledge!

Dr. Light: But we can't beat Azula!

Control Freak: Maybe not alone, but like Billy said, we have numbers on our side! Are we gonna let that fire bitch defeat the heroes we've been trying to kill for ages?

Villains: No.

Control Freak: Are we just let this chick waltz in and tell us we ain't up to snuff just cause her cartoon has a higher budget than ours?

Villains: No!

Control Freak: Are we gonna cower like a bunch of babies just cause she's a crazy megalomaniac who couldn't even beat a Waterbender on her own when a friggin comet was jacking her powers up?

Villains: NO!

Control Freak: Than I say we go out there and kick her incredibly well toned supple animated ass all the way back to her network!

Villains: YEAAAAAHH- What?

Control Freak: Hey, I'm a guy, it's hard not to notice.

(Azula and Raven are locked in fight of magical whips verses flame whips as well as epic dark magic blocking with flame daggers. Raven brings up a shield to protect her from said flame daggers.)

Azula: It appears we are evenly matched.

Raven: Says you, ready to give up.

Azula: Nah, I'm just mentioning that to myself. I'm gonna cheat now.

(Azula, fires a hot blast at the metal floor beneath Raven, she lets her guard down as her feets burn. Azula spins around Raven and cracks her elbow into Raven's shoulder blades, and then kicks her to the floor. She begins to charge up a lightning bolt.)

Azula: Say goodbye Raven! Your gothic cynicism was no match for my sarcastic dry evil wit!

(Suddenly a Honeycomb shaped shield almost slices off Azula's head but she backs up and sees it just barely miss her. Azula turns to see her villain slaves all standing down below)

Azula: Come to give yourselves up!

Control Freak: We're here to kick your ass bitch! We're tired of being pushed around!

Azula: Oh the Villains of the Week are gonna fight me? I'm a main character you clods? You can't win.

Gizmo: We'll see! Let's pulverize her cruddy head!

(Villains all charge at the tank, as Azula flings fire down on them. Billy rushes up with tons of copies as they swarm all over the tank. They begin running interference and pushing her two and fro, even giving her a good punch or two every now and again as they get closer.)

Billy: Billy may be a dumb hick! But Billy has his own best friend, Billy! Billy can finish you no problem!

(Billys try to dog pile Azula, and they start to succeed, until a huge wave of fire blasts outwards, throwing them all off the tank)

Azula: Ingrates! I will destroy you all!

(Gizmo, Mammoth, See-More and Private Hive all rush in at Azula)

Gizmo: You may have taken Billy out, but the rest of the Hive Five will rip you a new asshole! (Starts zapping Azula who dodges the attacks by flipping backwards)

See-More: Got my eye on you!

(See-More shoots an eye that traps Azula inside it, before shooting another one that pushes her into the arms of Mammoth)

Mammoth: HA! Got ya! (Bats her bubble away and sends her towards Private Hive)

Private Hive: Incoming! (Smashes shield into Azula's bubble, knocking her in the head and estroying the bubble. Azula stumbles to get back up)

Azula: You think you're powerful in numbers? You're still pests, you're just more numerous!

(Azula's fire whips lash out at Gizmo's tech belt, destroying his helicopter rig. Azula follows it up with a fireball that knocks the kid to the ground as it explodes near him. Mammoth attacks, trying to punch Azula again and again, but she twists her hands to create a stream of fire that spews out and slams into his face, setting him alight. He tries to claw the flames out before she tackles him to the ground. Private Hive charges, his shield protecting him from Azula's incoming fireballs. She ducks down at the last second and uses a fire kick to trip him up, causing him to fall flat on his face. See-More tries to use eye ball attacks to bat her around some more, but she just uses Private Hive's shield to knock the attack back at him and sending careening down to the ground in a heap.)

Azula: This is the best you fools have? You sicken me! The Kyoshi Warriors lasted longer than any of you so far.

(Johnny Rancid with Fang and Trident hanging onto the back seat off his motorcycle, arrive via riding up the side of the Ratte. Fang and Trident try shooting at Azula with their web shots and trident respectively as they get close, she needs to block the attacks by spewing fire walls out to dissipate the shots.)

Azula: Weak!

(She fires a blast from her hand that blows up Johnny Rancid's ride, sending him to the ground face planting on the Ratte's metal turret. Fang lands relatively unscathed and charges at Azula head on, spewing web shots before trying to bite her.)

Azula: Worthless!

(Azula punches a full fist of Fire into Fang's face, sending him careening to the ground beside Johnny. Trident keeps trying to shoot Azula with his trident, but she keeps flipping and diving out of the way.)

Azula: Pathetic!

(Azula sends a wave of fire at Trident, who tries to block the attack with his arms, hoping it will save him as he doesn't have time to move. But the fire engulfs him and as it passes through him he collapses in pain, his skin burnt and charred)

Azula: You weaklings should've considered yourselves proud to be in my workforce! To be a part of the building my great army! It was a more dignified task than your current occupations as useless villains used by the animators and script writers to fill up the episode quota!

(Bullets and playing cards start flying at Azula from left and right. Mad Mod with his British soldier bots and Mumbo Jumbo with his magical playing card henchmen have arrived, and they're throwing everything they have at Azula. She doesn't seem to care, and spews out a torrent of fire on either side, launching fire balls and waves, shooting flamethrower-like streams, and kicking huge walls of fire at the opposing armies. As robots, giant glove hands, giant rabbits and magical playing cards all burn to cinders, they close in on Azula and collide with one another. Suddenly a pillar of fire erupts from the turret, and what remains of the small armies of Mad Mod and Mumbo Jumbo are thrown to the ground in tatters. Only Mad Mod and Mumbo Jumbo remain)

Mumbo Jumbo: You hit her high! I'll hit her low!

Mad Mod: Does it matter!

(Both start using their wand and staff respectively to fire at Azula before she punches several fire blasts at them and destroy both wand and staff. Then she runs over and karate chops them both in the throat by crossing her hands in front of her. They fall to their knees in front of her)

Azula: I'm doing the Titans a favour! Now they can focus on the villains in their series that are actually threats!

Dr. Light: You'd be surprised to see what we're capable of.

(Azula looks down to see Dr. Light and Brother Blood arming a large laser cannon that is now on Light's back)

Dr. Light: I may lose every time I come on screen! But at least I'm not a rapist! Hit it Blood!

(Brother Blood arms the laser cannon and it shoots out a huge beam that heads directly for Azula's head. She merely sighs, quickly completes her lighting attack movement and fires a lightning bolt that punches through the laser cannon's beam and heads towards Dr. Light and Brother Blood)

Dr. Light: Well, it's not like no one didn't see this coming.

(Both explode in a flash of light and land in heaps on the ground)

Azula: HA HA HA HA! Victory is mine!

(Raven crawls over to a small corner and brings out her cell phone)

Raven: This shit's gone to hell in a handbasket, I'm calling Rage! (Dials phone.) Rage!

Yeah what is it?

Raven: Azula's kicking our asses without even trying! Why aren't you helping!

I did my part, Blackfire is down there kicking ass with you. I have done everything, it's out of my hands.

Raven: We're going to die you prick!

Sad, excuse me I gotta get back to more pressing matters. I'm Playing Fallout: New Vegas and I'm trying to sneak into Fortification Hill because I kinda killed the Ferryman by accident. See ya.

Raven: Fucking asshole!

Azula: I'm the greatest villain ever! From the greatest cartoon ever! No one can beat me!

Control Freak: Says the chick whose beating on weak villains to satisfy her ego!

(Azula looks down to see Control Freak wearing weird looking triangular orange glasses and staring up at her defiantly with a remote in hand)

Azula: Are you blind? I just took out all your stupid friends! You've lost!

Control Freak: I've only lost when I give up! You forget, I'm a frickin nerd, I know everything there is to know about fandoms and cartoons and TV and movies and everything! I'm not afraid of you Azula, cause I know how to beat you!

Azula: Enough of this pointless fighting! I'm going to end you by boiling your insides!

(Azula fires a huge blast of flame which she intends to keep up. As it approaches Control Freak, he uses his remote to create a huge frickin laser drill that shoots out and collides with the fire blast, the two forces begin to fight one another as the power between both attacks grows.)

Azula: How can this be? Where are you drawing all this power from!

Control Freak: Our show's path is different from your own! Where you draw your power from your own series quality and depth, we have a different source of power. Our expanded fanuniverse! One powered by the people who watch and love our show despite its flaws! They help us to evolve our characters, beyond the persons we were before! Little by little, we improve our stories and characters with each good fanfic or decent writer! Inspiring others to do their own original work! We advance with each turn of the fanfic process! That is how a drill works!

Azula: Fanfiction? That shit? That is the pathway to extinction! Why can't you see the pathetic limitations of the Teen Titans Fandom!

Control Freak: No! It is your limitation! You rely so heavily on your own quality to be victorious you refuse and reject anything else that can give you strength! You sit there, and deride other shows for being inferior and lock them away like a queen! Your own hate is your power! Mine is that of the love of thousands! That is no one's limitation but your own!

Azula: My hate for your stupid shitty series and all the other Nicktoons is stronger than any love you can summon! This whole stupid premise about love and hate is cheesy and cliche beyond recognition and I'm gonna end it! NOW!

(Azula increases her power as Control Freak increases his own remote)

Control Freak: EAT THIS!

Azula: NEEEEEEVVVVVAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR!

(A huge flash of light explodes outward from the attack and engulfs the entire area. Raven looks on in horror)

Raven: Holy sh-!

KA-BOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!

Uh... looks like we kinda lost connection there folks, heh heh... umm... let's get back to the real story shall we? We'll fix this up in a minute.

* * *

Berlin, April 22nd, Late Evening, a small fortified bunker on the city limits

What should've been a quick decisive win was beginning to stretch on indefinitely. German resistance was all but gone, most of the high ranking members of the Nazi government captured and the army had surrendered to the combined Allied and Soviet forces. To the restof the world it was over and Victory in Europe day celebrations were already starting. But in the rush to encircle Berlin, both the Russians and Western Powers had missed a seemingly unsuspecting bunker on the outskirts, one that appeared to be abandoned.

They were wrong.

Only a few short hours ago, a rocket ship had launched from the bunker, revealing it as an underground missile silo of some sorts. Two platoons from both the Russians and Americans were the first on the scene, the British coming a close second with the Canadians and Pole sin tow. When they first arrived there was a brief firefight with a token show of resistance from the bunker's defenders. The fight lasted all of 20 minutes before the Germans inside were all killed. Ravenna and Logan arrived when everything had died down. They were convinced this was the last ditch effort by the Nazis to see their Vengeance plan through to the end. As they travelled down into the bunker, escorted by Allied and Russian troops, they soon realised this was no ordinary military fortification. Crude electronics and monitoring equipment were strewn about in various control rooms. There were small testing labs and training facilities that appeared to involving Jet and rocketry technology. This was not just a military base, but a testing facility and considering what they saw launch into the sky Logan had a pretty good idea what it was testing. It was only confirmed by the large launching platform at the center of the bunker.

"So the Nazis have become space cases." Logan said with dire foreboding "Think they're planning to build a colony on the moon?"

"Absurd," Ravenna told him "they barely had enough money left to build a sub-orbital bomber. I doubt they were able to make one that can reach the moon."

"So where did they head to?" Logan asked

"I don't know but we need to find some way to follow them before-"

Ravenna didn't get to finish her sentence as an explosion erupted nearby. A group of Americans had blown open the locked door nearby with some plastic explosives. They entered the room and almost just as quickly one of them ran back out.

"Guys! You may wanna see this!" He shouted to everyone who could hear

Logan and Ravenna were the first to rush through. What they saw astounded them. A second rocket, towering over them on a secondary launching platform, it's thrusters bigger than a small tank, it looked like a super-sized V2. More importantly it looked like it was ready to go.

"We must've interrupted their second launch." Ravenna said, still dumbfounded in awe by the thing that stood before them

"They must've known we'd see them, that we'd attack." Logan blurted out as he stared on "They had to have realised they didn't have much time. Why didn't they launch both rockets at the same time or within spitting distance of each other?"

"Perhaps there were technical problems." Ravenna suggested "Maybe they needed to do final checks or they were worried something might go wrong with the first and it would crash into the second. Whatever the case it's our lucky break."

Ravenna didn't need to say anymore, they were both headed skyward to chase the last Nazis and stop whatever they were planning. They didn't know what to expect up in space, but they knew it would be dangerous.

* * *

The team found a large cache of makeshift spacesuits, but the Germans had compromised many of them before they arrived. It was probably during the attack in a last ditch effort to at least make sure the Allies couldn't follow. Thankfully though, with some switching of parts, the Nazis had missed two of the suits. The jumpsuits themselves were air tight, yet surprising malleable when worn, even with the clunky air tanks on their backs. The helmets were strange, like gas masks but with a wide frame for the eyeholes. Only the mouth was truly covered by the breather part of the helmet. There was also a second pair of lenses that could be pulled down; these were tinted obviously to keep the sun from scorching the wearer's retinas. Of course adorning the outfits were the usual Nazi paraphernalia, specifically the large SS insignias on the shoulder. It was a stroke of luck they managed to salvage these two suits, but that meant only Ravenna and Logan could go. Everyone else would just have to sit on the ground and pray.

In a way it was what Ravenna wanted, to end this mission once and for all by her own hands. She probably wouldn't have wanted Logan to come along a few weeks ago, but things had changed now. Now, she wanted him by her side, he was the only other person she could trust with this important task.

"I do not like wearing this." She said as she eyed the Swastika on the spacesuit

"It's temporary." Logan assured her "Whatever the Nazis have up there aboard that rocket we can fool them into thinking we're on their side. Catch them off guard and hit them when they least expect it."

"I know, but I still feel dirty." She told him "Do we know where we're going?"

"Tech boys search the flight log." He told her "We have a small window of opportunity to make the same coordinates the last guys went to, but we gotta leave now."

Logan strapped on the helmet for the spacesuit and the two headed toward the launch platform.

Entering the large rocket ship via the elevator, the two strapped themselves in to the small if miniscule shuttle craft. It was their way up, and their way back as well, if they could go back of course. They had no allusions about this mission; this technology was haphazardly made under pressured conditions. The first one that launched could've very well just been a fluke. They could very explode before they even left the launch pad. But they had to try. If this project had any connection to the Nazis' vengeance plans they had to try.

"You ready?" Logan asked Ravenna, who nodded albeit nervously. Logan took up the intercom on the dashboard "Alright let's light this candle, boys."

The soldiers in the control room didn't know anything about rocketry, but the ones that could read German at least knew what all the buttons and switches were for. The place had rather easy to understand instructions, specifically which buttons opened the bunker silo's doors, ignited the thrusters engines and released the launch platform couplings. Obviously when constructing this place the Germans stayed true to the saying "Keep it simple stupid."

As the launch platform separated from the rocket, the engine started up. A grand and terrible sound vibrated through the ship as the thrusters to the rocket warmed up. Suddenly an explosion of fire jetted out the back of the machine and the mass of metal began to lift from the ground into the sky above. Ravenna and Logan lurched backwards into their seats as the G-Forces increased on their bodies. The strain was immeasurable on their bodies as gravity seemed to be fighting their launch every second of the way. They closed their eyes as rocket escaped the Earth's pull and made its way towards space. What could only have been a few minutes felt like an eternity of mind numbing pain on their bodies as they gripped their seats, hoping the rocket would not explode before they reached their destination. And then, as quickly as it had come, the pull stopped and the rocket silenced itself. Logan opened his eyes to look out the side of the rocket's window. It had separated in two, the lower half vanishing beneath them and floating off into orbit. The upper portion of the rocket, the shuttle half, levelled out in orbit as the initial thrust of the rocket died down. This allowed the two soldiers inside to get a better glimpse where they had been not two minutes before below them, Earth.

"Good God." Logan said amazed "We made it."

They looked down at the blue ball below them, the continents, the oceans the clouds, all visible to them, all so clear. Never in their wildest dreams did they imagine they'd ever see such a sight.

"Hard to imagine there's a war going on down there isn't it?" Ravenna asked "From up here it all looks so peaceful."

"Let's make sure this view matches the reality then." Logan added "We should be close to the coordinates of the last rocket."

Suddenly Ravenna tapped his shoulder and pointed to something on the horizon of the planet, a floating metallic object, but it wasn't the rocket. It was some kind of circular ring, half finished, incomplete but it looked like a ring nonetheless. Sticking out of its center, held together by large metal rods, was a large dish like mirror object, of what it's purpose they weren't sure. As they got closer they could better see the markings of the objects, particularly the large Nazi insignia on its side.

"It's like some kind of outer space base... and a space station or something." Logan noted "I can't believe it."

"How did the Germans manage to build that?" Ravenna said in shock "They would've had to make dozens of launches, hundreds even to get the materials up here."

"They may have disguised some of their launches as V2 rocket attacks or something." Logan suggested "Or built the launch pads in out of the way secret locations our recon planes couldn't get to or fly to."

"They did all this in wartime!" Ravenna continued "They must've bankrupted their entire country! I take everything I said about your capitalist society back Logan, this is way worse."

The shuttle portion of the rocket closed in on the half finished space station, they saw the other craft, already pointed down at the earth, perhaps preparing to return planet side, but why? They risked so much to escape up here. Perhaps they wanted to use this as a way of getting out of the country when the Reich fell. There certainly had to be easier ways than this though.

As they approached the station, something similar to where the shuttle had been docked onto had opened up towards them. The Germans inside were inviting them in, just as planned.

"Must be like an airlock on a submarine." He suggested "You know when it sends divers to do repairs."

"At least getting in will be easy." Ravenna said "How many Germans do you think are inside?"

"Well considering that it's a small station and relatively unfinished I'd say about 25 tops." Logan suggested "Maybe less if we're lucky."

"Our luck has held up so far." Ravenna added

The shuttle docked with the station and the airlock procedures began. Ravenna and Logan gathered up what they could carry from their tiny ship. They had brought with them standard pistols and submachine guns. It was best they could do, high powered rifles wouldn't be any use in close-quarters. They didn't know what to expect in zero-gravity when firing a gun, but they figured it wasn't gonna be the same. They were only just getting use to the sensation of feeling weightless as they made their way to the airlock door at the bottom of the craft, opened and floated in. No doubt the Germans would soon send a greeting party, hoping to find their fellow loyal party members. They'd be in for a nasty surprise.

The airlock doors opened wide and in floated two Germans, dressed in the same astronaut gear as Logan and Ravenna. They seemed puzzled, although it was hard to tell because their faces were obscured by the tinted lenses of their helmets. They approached, or more appropriately drifted, towards them.

"We expected you an hour ago," The first one said in German "what took you?"

"Flight was delayed due to bad weather." Logan responded in their language "Hailstorm of gunfire and shrapnel."

Logan pulled out his pistol and shot the first German in the head, before the other could react Ravenna put two through the man's torso. The two Germans died instantly, but they had been pushed slightly back by the recoil of their weapons. No traction in space meant nothing to keep them from being propelled back ward, if only slightly. Ravenna put up her tinted lenses of her helmet and looked at Logan discerningly.

"Must you Americans always make snappy quips whenever you kill someone?" Ravenna asked

"Hey your friend Kovar spews Party Propaganda while he stomps on his enemies' brains out." Logan responded defensively "Don't start calling the kettle black Mrs. Pots."

Ravenna shook her head, although she did admit to herself Logan had a point.

"We best move," Ravenna warned "they may have heard the shots."

There had been no alarm, most likely it was had not been installed yet along with the other half of the station. They did however hear the shouts of German soldiers beyond the airlock. They pressed themselves against either side of the door. Ravenna was first throw herself out of the nook of the airlock. The forward momentum of her push was enough to edge her towards a lip in the wall she and Logan would use for cover. As she flew towards it, she fired off her PPSh-41 at the Germans floating down the aisle. One of the bullets hit the Nazi's air tank and he was rocketed right into ceiling of the station as the pressure released. It was enough to knock him out of the fight. His friends wouldn't be so lucky when Ravenna actually aimed.

The Russian pressed herself into the lip of the wall carefully and huddled in the small corner. The Germans by now had opened fire, holding on to bars on the very same lips down the hall from her position. It was how they kept themselves from flying off while they shot. Ravenna looked over to Logan as she tightly held onto one of the bars on her little nook.

"Move now! I'll cover you!" she called to him

Logan nodded and pushed himself towards her. Ravenna, now in a stable position, fired off her submachine gun once more. This time it was more effective. One German was struck in the throat, he let go of his gun and it along with his body floated away. Another German was struck by a stray of bullets that raked across his arm, tearing his weapon away from him. He ducked back into the cover of the small nook.

Logan didn't end his gravity walk as well as Ravenna, he ended up slamming into the wall with his back. But he was in cover, that's what mattered. The Germans by now were pelting their little nook with all the bullets they had in their MP40s. Ravenna had to keep her head down and wait for them to reload.

"How many?" Logan asked

"I counted six originally, not including the one I knocked out when I hit his tank." Ravenna began "Killed one, wounded another, arm is torn probably going for a pistol."

Logan was never good at math, but assumingly the crew aboard this station was light they had probably knocked out close to half the staff, but that still meant they were outnumbered.

"Wish I brought a Browning." Logan said staring at his Thompson "Not sure if we can take these guys, as few of them as there are."

"It doesn't matter." Ravenna replied "This station must be destroyed. Whatever is going on here we need to end."

Logan was afraid she'd say that. Thankfully his boy scout handbook had always told him to be prepared. From his front pocket he took out a demolition charge and showed it to Ravenna.

"If things get bad and it looks like we won't make it..."

Ravenna nodded and poked her head over to the wall.

"Just pray it doesn't come to that." She told him

"I will."

Logan set the charge and pressed it into the wall of the station. He could remote detonate it whenever he wanted or Ravenna could if he went down. Either way the station would blow. With that taken care of he turned his attention back to the fight at hand. Taking aim his Thompson, Logan fired a burst at one of Nazis, cutting clean through his helmet, turning his brains into squashed melon. The German who Ravenna had shot in the arm came back firing a pistol like mad, Logan kept his head down as the bullets knocked against his cover. He popped out again to fire another stream off shots, hitting one German in the lower torso spilling his guts out. The wounded German fired another series of shots from his pistol. Unable to load with his wrecked hand he tossed the luger in a fit of rage. The weapon pathetically floated towards his enemies as he and the last German in his squad retreated back into the station.

"Guess he forgot this was in low gravity." Logan reckoned

"Come on after them!"

Ravenna led the charge once more, throwing herself towards the next section of the station, following the Nazis intending to finish what she started with the wounded one. Once again they found cover in one of the station's nooks of its construction. There were another seven Germans now, bringing the total count of Nazis staring them down to nine. The entire squad itself was standing in front of a large window looking out onto the Earth below. The one with the wounded arm grabbed an STG 44 off one of the soldiers and began firing sporadically at Ravenna and Logan as they came into view.

"He's determined I'll give him that." Logan admitted

"He'll die up here above his wretched Reich's remains all the same." Ravenna cried out as she fired another spray from her submachine gun.

"Ah see!" Logan told her accusingly "Now who's spouting off quips!"

A clash of bullets ricocheted off the station's nook, almost hitting Logan's head.

"Save it for later Logan!" she told him "We need to get rid of these bastards! Wish I had a grenade."

It was then Logan looked to the window, and got an idea.

"Hold onto something." He told Ravenna

By now the Russian had learned that it was best not to ask what the American was thinking, just to do it. She gripped onto the bar of the space station's wall. Logan did the same, tying the belt buckle of the spacesuit (which was mostly just for show) around the bar tightly. He then peered up and fired all his rounds at the window next to the Nazi bastards. They would've heard the horrified gasps of the Germans... were it not for the explosive decompression shattering the glass and sucking out the pressurized atmosphere in this part of the station.

Ravenna gripped tightly to her nook and Logan fought to bring himself back down as his belt barely held onto the bar. The Germans had not been so lucky. Three of them were pulled out almost immediately into the black void, another tried to grasp at the closed off airlock leading to the other part of the ship before he feebly was sucked into the abyss. A fifth German grabbed onto one of the bars of the station and tried to save the sixth German he was hanging onto... but both their grips slipped and they too were ejected into space. The German with the wounded tried to claw his way up the hull towards the American and Russian, one of his comrades reached out to him and as he was sucked out he grabbed his air tank. When he was pulled away the air tank went with him. The lack of oxygen made the wounded German instinctively clutch for his throat as he suffocated. He began to get sucked out the hole Logan had created. With all his might he clutched to the side of the window's frame with all his might. He was forced to let go however, when one of his friends, who had held on the longest, lost his grip and smashed right into him. They both fell into the empty blackness of space, leaving Logan and Ravenna alone.

The whole spectacle took about a minute to play out, but Logan and Ravenna had seen none of it as they were too focused on not joining the Germans in their fate. Eventually the station's atmosphere was gone and all the two had left for oxygen were the air tanks on their backs. Ravenna looked up at Logan and seemingly started to shout. At least that's what it looked like she was doing, Logan couldn't hear a thing. No air meant no sound. Quickly Logan looked over his suit and found a makeshift radio of sorts, a Walkie-Talkie attached to his suit that resided in his helmet. He turned on the switch and pointed to Ravenna to do the same.

He quickly regretted it as the next thing that screamed into his ear was-

"THE HELL WERE THINKING YOU IMBECILE! YOU MUDAK YOU COULD'VE KILLED US ALL! I SHOULD STRANGLE YOU THICK HEADED CAPITALIST PIECE OF SHIT!"

The rest of Ravenna's little rant was in Russian, and Logan could not make a lick of it out. He probably didn't want to know what she was saying anyway.

"Okay, I'm sorry." Logan radioed back "It was the best I could think. Besides, we got rid of them."

"Just don't do that again." Ravenna told him, finally calming down "Never, do that again. I don't like feeling like I'm in the middle of a tornado."

Logan and Ravenna floated over to what the Germans had been trying to protect, an airlock that led to the heart of the station itself. More than likely where they would find their answers to what this was all about.

"We've probably killed everyone in this tub." Logan told Ravenna "But today has been full of more surprises than I can count so I'm not taking any chances."

Ravenna nodded and they opened the airlock via the clamping switch next to it. They steeled themselves as the doors opened up and a new rush of air escaped from within. As they entered into the next room and the doors sealed behind them they reloaded their weapons and got ready for whatever lay beyond those doors.

The second part of the airlock opened and they exited out onto the uncompleted center of the station, where they saw three armed men standing in the center the stars as their backdrop. Two SS elites, armed with STG 44s and one SS General clad in his own customized spacesuit. They could still tell his rank though, he had his officer's hat attached to his helmet and rank patch on his suit. They could also see his space custom helmet, which resembled his actual mask oh so distinctly.

"General Deathstroke." Ravenna spat under her breath as the German turned to greet his guests.

The elites had already aimed their weapons at the two before the General had even fully turned around. But Ravenna hadn't forgotten that mask. Even under a customized helmet she still recognized him.

"Ah, our unexpected guests." He greeted, the radio in his own suit set to their frequency as well "I was hoping you would make it this far."

"Oh here it goes, he explains the big evil plan." Logan grumbled "So predictable."

"Perhaps," Deathstroke admitted "but I think you've come this far I owe you an explanation."

"We don't need one." Ravenna told him "We just need you dead! You need to pay for everything you've done!"

"What we've done?" Deathstroke said with a grimace "What we've done is try to change the world for the better! We tried to keep the mongrel races in their place, but you... you all had to ruin it. You cannot understand the burden of our duty, you're all too soft, weak. Held down by your petty morality too much to do what needs to be done."

"Oh lay off the Aryan shit bub," Logan told him snidely "Uncle Addy's dead didn't ya hear?"

"Hitler is gone, but his final orders still need to be carried." Deathstroke explained sternly "Before I left him at the Bunker for the last time he told me that the people of Germany had proven themselves unworthy. That the best of the Fatherland have long since died, so... the rest... the ones who have failed our Reich must be cleansed for their failure."

Ravenna was quick to let her rage seep over. The Germans may have supported these bastards, they may have cheered for Hitler's henchmen, but they were misguided not evil. Her quarrel wasn't with them, but their leaders. And to see one them simply denigrate the subjects that had given him everything was enough to send her over the edge.

"You're insane!" she cried out "Those are your people down there! Weak? They've been fighting us tooth and nail for days now! They sacrificed everything for your unworthy hides because you ordered them too and this is how you repay them?"

"As if your precious Stalin was any different sending millions to die upon our Bayonets in the East." Deathstroke responded, earning a glare from Ravenna as she raised her gun yet again, preparing to fire.

"Relax Ravenna," Logan told her "the shithead won't be doing anything. He's up here and they're all the way down there."

Deathstroke just seemed to laugh at this.

"Fools, I have one final trump card up my sleeve."

Deathstroke steeped aside to reveal said card... one final nuclear bomb.

"You gotta be kidding me." Logan said, wide eyed in shock

"I will send this bomb back to Germany and incinerate the Allies, the Soviet and the failed unworthy filth of Germany to their rightful graves." Deathstroke proclaimed "My original plan was to set it off in the Reichstag, but before it could be moved it was already under siege. The Fuehrer's Bunker had already fallen and with the Soviets already scouring the city with the Western Powers I needed to find a place to set it off. What better place to hide a bomb for delivery than a thousand feet in the sky. As the Allies and Soviets celebrate their victory they will learn much too late that it has been a pyrrhic one. The Third Reich shall die, but it will take Berlin with it! But you won't live to see any of it, I'll grant you that much."

That was all Logan needed to hear, this was why they had come here. They couldn't risk that bomb going off, not now. Logan took out the detonator to the demolition charge and pressed the button.

A small explosion rocked the station, not that they could hear it but they could feel it as well as the muffled blast.

"What?" Deathstroke screamed

"Looks like your bomb delivery is gonna be delayed." Logan chuckled

Deathstroke watched as the space station began coming apart. This thing had already been on rocky ground from the start because it wasn't completed. That explosion had sent it over the edge. The station began to plummet towards earth, slowly but surely.

"Kill them!" Deathstroke ordered

The STG 44s made no sound as the elites fired them off in the vacuum, but they were just as dangerous as if there was air. There was enough oxidized materials in gunpowder to make them work. Ravenna and Logan darted to separate ends of the Station's center, taking cover behind two large beams on either end. Logan looked to her and she nodded, he then peered out and fired off a stream of bullets from his Thompson catching the SS elite's attention. Deathstroke had taken cover behind his own beam in the center of the station. He kept firing off his pistol at Logan's position as Ravenna's voice spoke through his suit's radio.

"You probably don't remember me do you?"

"Should I?" he asked as he took cover again

"You killed my family!"

"You need to be more specific than that." He coldly spoke that

"Trust me, I can."

Two pistol shots, quiet as anything else in space, exited the chamber as Ravenna took aim at Deathstroke's air tank. She had used the ensuing battle as cover to get behind the German bastard and fire two clean shots at him from behind. The bullets cut through one of the hoses leading to Deathstroke's helmet. The man gasped in pain as he fell to the floor of the station, his lungs suffocating as air escaped his tank ever so slowly. He still had the strength to fir back at Ravenna as she darted into cover though, and he made his way over to his own little nook to hide.

Logan raked the first Elite guard's legs to shreds with one solid burst from his Thompson. As his friend floated there dying, the other German looked over to him. That split second was all Logan needed to launch himself at the SS Elite guard. He tackled the man's weapon and tried to pull it away from him. Not so easily done. Eventually Logan kicked the man off and into another opposing beam before charging at him with his knife drawn. He stabbed the German's air tank and sent the bastard flying off into the void space. Using the STG 44, Logan shot up at him as he rose up into the sky. It was a quicker death than affixation.

Deathstroke clung to his pistol and took aim at Logan, but he soon found it kicked out of his hand by Ravenna, her tinted lenses now risen up so he could see her eyes.

"You've lost." She sneered at him "Your leader is dead, your Fascist Empire in ruins and your plans in tatters. All that remains is you."

Deathstroke only seemed to laugh with what little air he had left

"Killing me won't stop us," he told her "the Third Reich's cause will live on."

Ravenna punched the Nazi across his face, picked him up and slammed him into the bomb where she continued to pummel him. She wouldn't satisfy his empty threat, she had little time.

"My name is Ravenna Rothakova!" She shouted over the radio in his face "And today I will have my revenge!"

She raised her own knife up and slammed it down into the Nazi's jack boot. Taking off her suit's own belt, she strapped the German bastard to the bomb and tied him tight.

"Enjoy your trip back down." She told him "Give your fuehrer my regards when you finally meet him."

Too weak to say anything back, Deathstroke lay there slowly suffocating to death as the oxygen leaked out of his tank. Ravenna walked away, and looked as the station began to fall around them all. Logan looked over to and spoke into his radio.

"You okay?" he asked her

"No time." Ravenna told him "We need to leave."

It was a frantic rush back towards the airlock leading to what they hoped was their ride home. Their shuttlecraft was near the explosion, it had no doubt been destroyed in the blast. But the re-entry shuttlecraft portion of Deathstroke's rocket, the one he intended to send the bomb back to earth in, was sitting pretty in its own docking section. As both Ravenna and Logan raced through the airlocks towards the shuttle, pieces of the station began flying off as its descent speed increased. Its orbit was decaying rapidly.

They rushed into the shuttlecraft, practically tearing the door off as they did. They released the docking clamps between it and the station and slowly drifted away from it. The ship was already pointed down at earth in preparation for what was supposed to be its diabolical final mission. Now it would save their lives.

Logan took up the controls as he buckled his restrain buckle. He looked back through the glass to the station for a brief second and noticed it was starting to burn up. He engaged the shuttle's thrusters and they started rocketing towards the Earth.

"Do you know how to fly this thing?" Ravenna asked as she buckled up

"Not a clue!" Logan told her "But I watched a lot of space serials when I was a kid."

"Well at least we'll die with a joke." Ravenna replied, trying to stifle a laugh

As the Station began to burn up, Deathstroke felt the re-entry in the atmosphere with fullforce. Fire seared at his clothes and suit as he approached terra firma once more. He knew he'd never reach it, he'd be incinerated before that.

His thoughts reached back to the promises of glory Hitler had once made, of a new world free of the lesser races and mongrel dogs that infested it. A vision of a new German empire that would've lasted a thousand years, built over the bodies of those that had held them down for so long. In the end, it was all for naught. Germany had lost, its future gone. Beaten back by the agents of tolerance, of the alliance between Democracy and the Bolsheviks, who ever thought such natural enemies would unite against them.

"It would've been so perfect." He whimpered

The flames soon consumed him.

The shuttle buckled and rocked as it entered Earth's atmosphere once more. It was one big guessing game whether or not it would survive its trip as the fires of re-entry licked at the special plating around it made for just such intense actions. Logan hoped they'd come down in the water, landing on solid ground would scatter them thousands of miles and not all in one piece.

It was a stroke of luck then that the ship did splashdown in the Atlantic Ocean several miles off of the Florida Keyes. It was early morning on this side of the world, whereas back in the battlefields of Europe is had been dusk. It made piloting the ship in all the easier. The splash down rocked the shuttle heavily, almost tearing it to shreds. The plume of water eventually died down as the ship came to a stop. The Atlantic spray soon drizzled down the window panes as Ravenna and Logan struggled to maintain consciousness after such a rocky landing. They were lucky to be alive, this experimental hunk of junk could've very well fallen apart. For once Logan was grateful for Nazi Super Science.

Ravenna was quick to tear off her helmet, Logan followed suit.

"Well that was one hell of a ride." He joked

"I think I'll stay grounded from now on." Ravenna added "Or at least within the Earth's gravitational pull."

They popped the hatch to the ship via a side door. They looked up at the sky, just catching the final moments of the Nazi space station as it exploded and began to stream down in bright lights.

"Well you got your revenge too." Logan said, harkening back to Kovar's own struggle from before "Was it worth it?"

"Not how I pictured it," Ravenna admitted "but I'm at peace if that's what you want to know."

They closed the hatch door and took off their space suits, revealing their regular army uniforms more readily.

"Well we just saved a hell of a lot lives today huh?" Logan asked her as they sat down together

"I'm just glad this over." Ravenna replied with relief

"What about the Japanese?" Logan asked

"Let's not ruin the moment please?" she relied once more

For a few minutes they sat in silence, taking everything in. They had stopped Operation: Vengeance, destroyed the last of Nazi Germany's atomic weapons, along with its apparent space program and had returned safely to earth in a stolen spaceship. Needless to say it was all a bit much for them to take at once.

"I'm sick." Ravenna finally said

"I do feel like upchucking myself." Logan said jokingly

"No," Ravenna told him "sick of fighting. I've been boiled up with so much hate so long, hate for Deathstroke, hatred for the Nazis, to be completely honest I'm kinda wondering how I'm gonna live without it now. How do you go back to regular society after something like this?"

For the longest time Logan didn't have an answer, all he did was edge closer to Russian woman he had endured hell with time and time again these past few months. Another bout of silence followed before he finally spoke up.

"You just have to let it go I guess." Logan replied "Move on. Try your best get on with life knowing that the hate has to burn out eventually. I mean, I know it ain't the same, but I hated a lot of kids in high school for calling me names."

Ravenna chuckled a bit at that.

"They called you names?"

"When your first name is Garfield-"

"Garfield?" Ravenna said with uproarious laugh "You're joking!"

"Logan sounds more manly I know." The American shrugged

Ravenna gave him a little friendly jab.

"All this time, I wonder what your first name is and it's Garfield." She laughed "Hilarious, never would've guessed."

"My parents were big fans of the President Garfield alright!" Logan replied playfully defensive "Ain't my fault."

The two had a good laugh at that, letting go of a lot of the pent up anger that had been building these past few days. It lasted until they noticed their hands hand touched one another. Instead of pulling apart though, they both tightened their grip.

"Lo-" Ravenna started before she corrected herself "Garfield, you know the chances of this lasting, or it even working are slim don't you? We have other obligations and-"

"Let's make the most of the time we have then." He said cutting her off "I think we've earned some R&R after the stunt we pulled with this baby."

Logan's smirk was returned with a sly smile from Ravenna, she had no objections to taking some much needed R&R, better to share it with pleasant company.

* * *

Hours later a small group of PT boats arrived on the scene. They didn't know what this ship was, but they knew it had a German Swastika on it. The Marines cut their way into shuttle craft, guns at the ready in case any Nazis were inside. What they found were two naked people curled up next to each other in a makeshift blanket of American and Russian uniforms, one man and one woman.

"Hey there soldier!" Logan quickly saluted as Ravenna covered herself up "Sorry for splashing down here unannounced but uh... touchdown was pretty rocky. Now would you mind closing that door, you're letting in a draft."

The marines slowly backed out, obviously they had interrupted something important. They'd tow the thing to shore and sort this all out there.

"Well that didn't last as long as I hoped it would." Ravenna said disappointed

"Still should be about another hour till they get us to shore." Logan told her with a smile

Ravenna just shrugged

"Hmm, I guess that's enough time for one more go." She reasoned, and both she and Logan quickly darted under their little makeshift blanket again.

* * *

And so at long last we approach the end of this epic saga. Finally! We were starting to worry the apocalypse would show up before we got this done. Anyway, all that remains is the epilogue. Find out what happened to this alternate world where the weapons that never were became reality and if anyone survived the final confrontation with Azula as "Titans of War" closes off.


	25. Chapter 25

This final chapter serves as an epilogue for the alternate universe created by this fanfic, as well as one for the behind the scenes action that took place with Azula. Because connection with our actors is presently offline, the end of the main story shall follow first.

* * *

Chapter 25:

To End all Wars

The quick encirclement of Berlin by both Allied and Soviet forces led to many of high ranking Nazi officials being subdued before they could escape. War criminals that should've escaped to South America, like Adolf Eichmann and Franz Stangl would find themselves alongside others like Goering at the trial of Nuremberg. Smaller lesser known Nazi criminals' managed to slip nonetheless but the many public figures of the Reich were unable to reach the many ratlines that would see them safety. Instead they and their fellow defendants would face the war crimes charges Allied powers placed upon them such as starting the war and crimes against humanity. Goering initially tried to take charge of the defendants himself, but Himmler clearly outranked him. Where Goering's strategy was to try and shift blame to Allies for their crimes or deny involvement Himmler considered such an act disgraceful. He was far too proud of what they had accomplished to ever distance himself entirely. Himmler convinced many of the Nazis to speak of how the execution of the war and the genocide of the lesser races were a necessary action done out of love for the people of Germany. The same line he had once took up with his SS Officers at his speech in Possen.

Himmler had no illusions that this would condemn them all to death, but he didn't care as he honestly thought it would allow their memory to be remembered fondly by later generations as people who were willing to do what the weaker nations were not. Himmler overestimated his oratory skills after his testimony on the stand papers called him a lunatic, the German public felt disgusted he was ever within their government and that he confessed to the mass murder of Jews, Gypsies, homosexuals and communists and also called it a good thing, if not a sacred duty. His attempt to prove Jewish inferiority through occult and pseudo-sciences was seen as both boring and ludicrous at the same time. He had tried to remain composed on the stand, but under cross examination he lost his cool with the American Prosecutor, calling him several racial terms before throwing his translator earphone at him in disgust.

Other Nazi defendants were more inclined to tone down their testimonies afterwards, but they all came off rather poorly nonetheless excluding Speer who had decided to confess to his crimes and denounce several of his colleagues, like Mengele who had earlier tried to justify his actions as advancing science. The German doctor also broke down on the stand several times into a blubbering mass of tears at his life's work being forever ended, showing no remorse over the people he had killed. Eichmann's testimony was the least enthusiastic of all them, he seemed incredibly bored throughout the proceedings, even more so than Goering. His testimony on the stand was likewise rather plain and matter of fact. He is strangely the most normal of the defendants excluding Speer who felt guilty, unlike Eichmann who felt neither pride nor guilt in his work. History played out like it originally did with all the defendants being sentenced to death. While Goering accomplished committing suicide, Himmler and Mengele were brought to the gallows to be hung.

The fallout of the trial was slow to surface, but effective. Coupled with Himmler's confession, the massive amounts of evidence brought to bear and the footage of Hitler's own confession taken by Soviet cameramen before he killed himself, Neo-Nazi groups did not surface in great numbers and the Holocaust denial movement that should've surfaced later in the Twentieth century was weaker and less profound. Many world leaders in the Middle East who otherwise would've used a topic as a talking point instead backed away from it and thus the conspiracy never achieved the universal media, internet or literary attention as it originally did. A more immediate effect of the trials was a considerable amount of added historical knowledge of the inner workings of the Third Reich at an earlier date.

The Soviet and Allied agreement to jointly take Berlin together was publically seen as the Russians asking for aid and the Allies generously offering it to them. In reality the fact Stalin had come to the Allies to ask for help, when originally Berlin had been promised to him at the Allied Conference in Yalta, gave the Allies considerable pull. After a series of intense negotiations Churchill and Truman would only agree to sending Allied soldiers into the fray if the Russians rescinded control of certain Eastern Europe territories like Poland, Czechoslovakia and Hungary. Also, Russia would have to rescind its control of occupied East Germany when the Allies saw fit, although they could retain a presence in East Berlin for a time.

Stalin wouldn't have accepted the terms under normal circumstances, but the sheer amount of Nazi super weapons being thrown at his troops were enough to make him concerned about dragging the conflict out further before the Allies would just take Berlin by themselves. At least this way he would save face and accomplish the task he had set out to do when the Germans had invaded in 41. He needed to give his people their revenge, even if it meant sacrificing his potential empire.

At war's end, most of Eastern Europe was given back its independence. Poland, Hungary and Czechoslovakia were never forced into serving as an extended buffer for Russia against the Western Powers. The countries that Russia retained, Lithuania and Romania, entered into a short-lived alliance called "The Bucharest Act" that only lasted until 1953 and Stalin's Death. Stalin himself would die never seeing his wish to see East Europe under his iron grasp realised. His tyranny never spread beyond Russia's borders and Soviet Union, while still a Super Power, did not have anywhere near the political pull it did until after he died. He was unable to attempt to starve out West Berlin or threaten its occupying powers as he lacked the allies in close proximity to do so and would've immediately led to the end of his own occupation of East Germany as per the agreement. When Stalin did die, East Germany was folded back into West Germany. East Berlin followed shortly after.

Stalin lost political power within his own government as well. While he was praised for vanquishing the Fascists the fact he had went to the Allies for help and kowtowed to their wishes was seen as a weakness. As he slowly lost power to the actual communist party members, reformists arose to fill the gap. After his death, they took full power and proceeded to lead the USSR down a different path.

Since the end of the Second World War, the joint invasion and defeat of Berlin was the start of a stronger more lasting friendship between the United States and the Soviet Republics. It was a strange relationship born out of idea that it was their governments and armies working in tangent that had stopped the Nazis and that greater things could be accomplished if they made such a partnership last. With reformists taking more power away from Stalin and his hardliners week by week, more and more Americans warmed to the idea, excluding staunch Anti-Communists of course. The first reveal of this new found alliance between the superpowers was during the War in Korea. When China joined the fight on the side of the North Koreans and threatened to push the UN forces out of the country completely, Russian tanks massed on the Chinese border. Official reasons for the action were declared a small military exercise that was nothing to concern the Chinese. Reformists within the Communist party gave away the true intention in secret however. They warned China that any further action against the UN forces would result in their own attack into Northern China, despite the fact they were a Communist state. Together they mediated between the Chinese and UN powers. The Chinese pulled out of the country and North Korea itself lost a great deal of territory. Nonetheless the war was over quickly and the oppressive state of North Korea had shrunk considerably. General MacArthur was still not happy that he had not gotten into China and that the Russians had apparently ended his little foray. It was a mixed blessing though as he had just barely dodged being fired by Truman. He would remain in Japan, running its occupation for the remainder of his military career never partaking again in another major battle.

After that the Soviet/American relationship became more open. To reconcile America's new friendship with a communist nation and vice versa both governments ran certain PSAs and propaganda films explaining why they were allies despite being so different. For America, they explained that the communists in Russia weren't as bad as others saying that were no longer as repressive and seeking to change for the better. Reformists in Russia explained that there were some virtues in capitalist dogma and that America had recently been giving its workers more rights. There would be no Red Scare... concerning Russians. Chinese Communists were still looked upon with ire and took their place as the kind of freedom hating evil that must be stomped out within America. This made Chinese immigrants more suspect, before long Chinese and other Asian immigrants allied themselves with the civil rights movement in order to fight against what they saw as discrimination against them.

The Reformists in Russia were less compelled to spread the communist revolution than more conservative hardliners within the party. They did not seek to hinder such revolutions but did little to actually help them, believing they could not endorse their agenda on others and that ultimately it was the will of the people to decide if they wanted a communist government or not. A prime example was the attempt coup of Fidel Castro which failed because it was improperly funded by outside forces. However, the coup led to Russia and America realising how volatile the situation on the Island had become and pressured President Batista to give in to Democratic reforms before more blood was shed. Likewise, Northern Vietnam did not receive as much support as they should have from their Russian comrades. In fact, Russia's reformist government eventually allied itself with the Americans in the war and put considerable resources into motion that led to the destruction of the Ho Chi Ming trail by covert Russian Spetznaz forces and in training the South Vietnamese military to better defend itself. America was able to pull out of the country in 1967, earlier than expected as the South Vietnamese were able by that point with the combined aid to fend for themselves. Eventually peace negotiations between it and its Northern Neighbour were delegated and a DMZ was formed. For a while peace was maintained as the two countries held onto their desired territory. Eventually, an invasion from Cambodia left the North Vietnamese weakened significantly and their army in tatters. This allowed the South to annex them in the late 80's. Russia's less expansionist foreign policy in turn led them to reject the idea of invading Afghanistan. Instead, the United States would fund a group of secularist forces within the country to seize power from more fundamentalist and Anti-American forces. Less Russian weapons were sold to Third World countries, hindering the ability of Arab Nations surrounding Isreal to rage war on the tiny Jewish state, forcing them to recognize its legitimacy at the behest of small, poorly organized terrorist groups like Hezbollah and Al Qaeda who have failed to find a voice in the Middle East since these less fundamentalist and more secularizing governments have started cropping up, due in no small part to American and Russian support from afar.

In 1990 USSR let many of its republics, in accordance to its reformist policies. In the end only Russia remained. Second and third parties were allowed into power within the assembly and the Soviet Republic of Russia simply became known as The Republic of Russia. Communists still hold seats on the government assembly, but they are barely recognizable to the ones that ruled the USSR in our world and are more akin to Social Democrats than true communism.

The secrets of the German Atomic Weapons program were forever lost to time, covered up by both Russia and America in fears it would make the long dead enemy seem more powerful and the end of the war more close to the wire than imaginable. Truman, despite the horrors of this program, still believed an atomic bombing of Japan was needed to end the war. Instead, Russian bombers began joining in on the destruction of Japan early, seeing that their enemy in the west had already been dealt with. Also, Stalin was hoping to occupy a piece of Japan, if only to make up for the loss of Eastern Europe. The action led to Japan's to surrender. As countless amounts of equipment and weapons and lives were being expended the hardliners in Government still refused to give in to inevitable. Enraged, a small band of Anti-Militarist officers instituted a coup that saw much of the leadership in Tokyo excluding the Emperor dead. This new government quickly sued for peace with the Allies in a public statement, allowing Truman to call off the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Many Japanese were distraught at the loss of the war, but they had avoided potential nuclear annihilation. Atomic weapons themselves wouldn't be as much of an issue, as there was no cold war between Russia and America. Both sides, in accordance with their new friendship signed a non-proliferation act after the war in '46 which limited the amount of nuclear weapons both countries could have at one time. Only China stockpiled these nuclear weapons and that was not until the early sixties. America and China entered into a bit of an arms race until the late 80's when they were convinced to sign a similar non-proliferation act by President Ronald Reagan. This was a surprisingly move considering that Reagan had once called China's communist government "The Evil Dynasty".

Dick Grayson was inducted into the early stages of the joint venture between Russia and America to reach the moon. Both NASA and the Soviet Space Program worked in tangent to reach the stars together. Dick Grayson would be one of the first men in orbit alongside a Communist cosmonaut, a former tank commander named Kovlar. While neither ever reached the moon, they both lived to see Neil Armstrong along with Buzz Aldrin and two other Russian Cosmonauts land in the sea of tranquility. Adding to Neil's famous words the Cosmonauts expressed their first words on the moon as "We make this giant leap together."

Dick Grayson and Wally West would continue flying jets in Korea and Briefly in Vietnam before retiring. West went his own way and opened up a flight school for civilian pilots, Grayson in the meantime had settled into domestic life with Kory, whom he had stayed in touch with and married a few years after the war. They had one daughter together.

Victor Stone returned stateside at last, only to be met with bigotry to the country he had fought so hard for and so hard to get back to. Infuriated, he joined the civil rights movement and became close friends with Martin Luther King Jr. As America eventually made life fairer for Blacks and other Minorities, King was almost murdered by an assassin. Thankfully, Stone had seen the glint of the rifle's scope and moved in front the Civil Rights leader, blocking the shot with his arm. Stone's arm was torn up badly and needed to be amputated. It was replaced by a prosthetic limb. Stone said it was worth losing an arm to save the life of such an important human being. He was glad that he accomplished something good without having to kill somebody, but instead save someone.

Commander Kovlar rose up in the rank of the military after the war, becoming a highly decorated Colonel within the Tank Corps. He was given several commendations and medals for his heroic actions and fully supported the reformist government that soon took power. He was one of the tanks on the border between Russia and China, as well as helped in training South Vietnamese tankers to better defend their country. He never retired from the military, citing it as the one occupation he had put too much of himself into to ever really leave.

Ravenna eventually immigrated to America to be with Garfield Logan. She resigned from the KVND and hung up her rifle for good. Logan did the same, both feeling they had done enough killing already. Their exploits were largely never known and perhaps never will be. They were content with this and simply desired to achieve the American dream, settle down and raise a family. They did not tell their children much about what they did in the war, only that meeting each other was the best thing that came out of it, if not the only thing. Ravenna has abandoned her communist ideology, finding that capitalism does have its benefits as well as enjoying the fact she could find her own way in life. She of course participated in marches for women's rights in 50's and 60's. She eventually found work as school councillor, after earning her degree in child psychology. Logan in the meantime opened a small family run grocery store, which has a far bigger vegetable section than any other aisle. Garfield cites health reasons for it, Ravenna says tofu and soy don't have much of a future in a country that prides itself on BBQ and hot dogs.

* * *

Well I think that does it for the main's story's epilogue. Unfortunately I think every one of my actors have been blown to kingdom come. Tragic, but what can you do? I guess I better start holding auditions for their replacements. Wonder where I can get a green shape-shifting superhero?

(Raven, Beast Boy and Starfire all stumble out of the wreckage of the destroyed Ratte tank coughing)

Raven: Asshole! We're not dead!

Oh you're alive, that's unexpected. Hey you see my wife?

(Blackfire punches her way out of a crashed airplane)

Blackfire: Why does the world keep spinning? (Wanders off in random direction) Where did my adopted sister go?

Oh thank goodness, everyone important is still breathing. I'm so relieved.

Starfire: What of the villains?

(Beast Boy points over to pile of groaning and in pain bad guys, with Control Freak leaning up against them)

Control Freak: (Weakly) Do not believe in yourself... believe in the geek who believes in you. (Plops down on ground)

(Beast Boy helps Control Freak up as other Titans rush over to mound of villains.)

Starfire: What of Robin and Cyborg?

(Cyborg rip apart the overturned trailer's chassis and walks out with Robin over his shoulder)

Cyborg: Hey gang, we still alive... we're just really depressed.

How nice for all of you. Well it looks like everything turned out just fine, you're welcome.

Raven: Welcome? You didn't do anything! It was Control Freak who saved our asses?

Control Freak: Does this mean I can ask you or Starfire out on a date?

Raven & Starfire: No.

Control Freak: Oh.

Hey I sent Blackfire down there to help you! I mean she turned the tide of the whole battle!

Raven: She did not! She tried to make nice with the crazy bitch!

Blackfire: Is anyone in the mood for some Mickey Dee's? Anyone? I want me an apple pie?

Beast Boy: Man she took a big bump on the head huh?

In any case, Azula's gone and none is hurt. Despite the fact that big ass explosion should've killed every last one of you anyway. But schematics congratulations folks on another story finished!

Raven: And it only took you four years, impressive.

Beast Boy: Well I'm just glad thats-

(Azula kicks her way out of Ratte, holding a pistol.)

Azula: Hello! McFly! I'm still alive dumbasses!

Beast Boy: Ahhh shit!

Raven: Why aren't you dead?

Azula: You can't kill the main villain that damn easily in these kids shows! What are you retarded or something?

Starfire: But that explosion was huge and consuming!

Azula: and yet you're still breathing so why not me? Shut it! Normally I'd just burn you bastards alive, but that little fight with Nerdwad over there sapped me of most of my strength.

Beast Boy: Wait, is that how Fire Bending works?

Azula: Silence! Point is, guns are quicker to the punch and now I'm just gonna riddle you fuckers with bullets and use your mouths as waste receptacles. Nothing personally, it's just hate all your guts and you have to die.

Raven: But your army is destroyed! You got nothing left!

Azula: I can still find pleasure in killing you!

Starfire: We can still fight you, and all you have is a gun!

Azula: I also have this! (Holds up See-More and points gun at him)

See-More: Don't kill me! I have a fanbase I swear! They'll miss me!

Azula: Try anything and he dies! Being the heroes you can't live with that can you?

Raven: Quick, do we have any villains left?

Starfire: Well, Malchior is still stuck in the book at home, Red X is in Vegas I think... oh the Puppet King he's-

Control Freak: No, no, he visited a toothpick factory recently... he's not coming back.

Starfire: Oh... tragic.

(Azula laughs menacingly as she points the gun at the heroes and prepares to fire when suddenly a boomerang comes out of nowhere and knocks it out of her hand. Then a gust of air pushes her back and she careens into a large slab of rock that wraps around her. Everyone looks behind them and sees the entire main cast of Avatar standing there.)

Beast Boy: The hell!

Sokka: Sorry we're late, inter-dimensional travel is a bitch.

Aang: Sokka also needed to stop to pick up some burgers.

Sokka: I'm weak, sue me.

(Toph drags Azula in her rocky prison over to the others)

Toph: Let's see ya break out of that one without your buddies in the Dai Li!

(Zuko walks over to Titans)

Zuko: We're sorry about this, it happens every couple of months when she stops taking her medication. You need to understand, it's not her fault she's just crazy.

Azula: Let me go you idiots! I'm actually trying to do something good for once! I'm trying to right the wrongs against us!

Zuko: For the last time Azula, you can't just go around killing other cartoon stars because their shows aren't as good as ours.

Azula: But they deserve it! I wanna!

Zuko: You are just so lucky Mai told me that you were off the pills and I got down here when I could. You're also lucky DC heroes tend not to kill people.

Azula: I don't need the pills! I'm fine! That's how they get into your head anyway! That's how they control your mind!

Sokka: Oh boy here go.

Azula: The chemtrails are in atmosphere! Why does no one see that but me? The government controls our mind with chemtrails and the pills give you aids! It's how they spread aids! Freemasons run the country!

Zuko: Someone needs a booster! (Jabs needle into Azula's neck, her pupils suddenly widen)

Azula: What is with all the fighting? (Goes into a dreamy daze)

Zuko: Again I'm really sorry about this whole mess, we really need to get a better watch on her. But she's always seducing the guards or making them regret their lives and crap.

Beast Boy: Yeah we kinda noticed that, they got our leader.

(Cyborg puts Robin down and he faces Zuko)

Robin: You accomplished what we failed, we're disgraces.

Zuko: Uh, there there.

Robin: (Whines) I miss my Batty Dad!

Zuko: That's rough buddy. (Turns to other Titans) Just give him a few days he'll be okay.

Aang: Alright we gotta get Azula back to her nice padded cell before she goes crazy again.

Toph: Here that Princess, we're taking back to that nice room with all the kind hearted folks in white suits.

Azula: Hello magical purple dwarf! How are you?

Toph: That's right, just let the medicine work ignore everything around you and give into the drug addled hallucination. (Puts hat on Azula that says "I'm Toph's Bitch" and take a picture with her in it) I love being awesome.

Beast Boy: Wait, before you go... we gotta ask... do you guys think we're obsolete too?

Sokka: Well you still have that comic, that's something.

Zuko: Besides, it's not like we can judge you. Ya had a smaller budget and we're original property.

Aang: Not every show can be almost a "Avatar", and that's no reason to hate another show. Your fandom is okay, our fandom is okay. You're your own thing, and we wouldn't have it any other way.

Toph: But Spongebob is still shit.

(Everyone looks over at Toph disapprovingly)

Toph: Oh come on! We all believe that.

(Azula is rolled away as she sings showtunes to herself)

Well this has been a long series of strange events. Thoughts guys?

Beast Boy: Well, I suppose we did learn a bit about the mechanics of war and why certain things are unfeasible as well as the sacrifices inherent in all combat.

Raven: I suppose we did learn that, but in truth I just wanna go home and drink until I forget this whole ordeal, all in favour.

Everyone: Aye!

Fair enough, Blackie time to go home we got this story in the bag.

Blackfire: Yes mister president! (Weakly flies off)

(Taxi pulls up and out jumps Sergeant Pain with a buttload of comics)

Pain: Hey I'm back from the store, what did I miss?

(Looks out on smouldering battleground)

Pain: Huh... quite a bit I see.

* * *

The Titans and Villains went home to their own universe and drunk away the entire painful ordeal of this ridiculous story and everything involved in it. The villains however have found a new form of respect for themselves born out of standing up against a bigger and stronger villain. Robin lay in bed for about a week until the effects of the monologue wore off. He is now back to his regular self-righteous self.

Azula was returned to her clinic, where her friends Mai and Ty Lee still visited her hoping she'd stop being crazy. Ty Lee is still a borderline lesbian around Azula, and Mai is still apathetic. A month later, Azula stopped taking her medicine again and vanished a few hours later. Her current whereabouts are unknown.

Meanwhile in Bikini Bottom...

(A submarine-tank bulldozes through the "Welcome to Bikini Bottom" sign)

Azula: (Within Tank) WA HA HA! Gonna burn this muther down bitches! Burn it down! WA HA HA HA!

Pain is still reading through every single one of his comic book stacks. Considering he was at the store for four years, that's quite a lot of comics.

General Rage decided he had grown bored with the Titans complaining about their lives being put at risk constantly for his own sick entertainment. Annoyed by the fact they keep doing this constantly, he decided to find some new victi- I mean actors to play out his new fanfic stories not related to the Titans franchise period.

* * *

GR holds up a file folder to his face and nods before placing it on the desk in front of him.

"Well you certainly have the charisma, popularity and overall awesome quota to meet my stringent standards." He said aloud "Also as it seems you have no trouble jumping into dangerous potentially life threatening situations that would make others scream in terror before shitting their pantaloons. So, no worries about you complaining about the stunts I'm gonna make ya do. Good to know. Well it looks like everything is in order. I expect many good things from both you and your crew as we head down the fanfiction road together Mister..."

A large man in futuristic armour stands in front of GR's desk.

"Shepard," he says "Commander Shepard."

"You know I gotta be honest I thought you were a woman." GR tells him "I mean half the time all the fanfics are about a girl Shepard."

"Most people like to play as a girl okay," he replies embarrassed "it's just how it is."

"Fair enough, well expect to see more from you soon good sir."

A large reptilian creature walks up beside Shepard.

"Do we get to kill something now?" He asked

"Later Grunt," Shepard says rather annoyed "we'll find something for you to crush with your hands later."

"You always say later." Grunt grumbles


End file.
